Interesting Places
by jenncgf
Summary: Sequel to Choices. F!Cousland/Nathaniel. Their choices led them to one another, and now they find themselves dealing with the repercussions of their decisions. If only they could just deal with Darkspawn and ignore the rest ...
1. Happiness

_A/N: I own none of the intellectual property associated with the Dragon Age franchise, much to my chagrin. I do thank Bioware for providing so many of us with fantastic places and characters in which we can let our imaginations play! _

_This story is set in the same "universe" as "Choices" and "Moments in Time", and is intended to be a direct sequel to Choices. I will not be rehashing much of that story, so if anything here seems confusing it has likely already been explained there. I hope this piece writes as an adequate continuation of that story._

_Thank you for reading!_

-0-0-0-

Whispers. Sighs. A breathless laugh. All these echoed in her mind as they explored each other, finding new ways to ensnare each other even as they exploited already known weaknesses. He firmly, yet gently, tilted her head back and nipped on the pulse point throbbing under her ear. She responded by running her hands through his hair, massaging the base of his skull as she murmured nonsensically. His free hand was caressing her inner thigh, running slowly and lightly from her knee, reaching ever higher on each pass, awakening each nerve ending and setting it aflame until she thought she would incinerate on the spot.

Her hands explored, one continuing to entangle in his unbound locks, the other scratching lightly down his muscled torso. His breath caught, just ever so slightly, as she passed his waist; she found a ticklish spot. Before she could take advantage of the newly discovered information he shifted, bringing their bodies into alignment, laying side-by-side as he captured her lips and her sighs. The fingers that had been stroking her leg now found a more intimate place to explore, causing her to gasp his name in reverence and desire as she draped her leg over his to provide him better access. She kissed her way over to his jaw, and then to his ear, where she nibbled on his earlobe, causing him to groan her name and speed his movements.

She felt her focus narrowing, the world falling away even further as she started losing control. Higher and higher she climbed, coming ever closer to the crest where she would fall off and fly …

-0-0-0-

"Elissa. Wake up, love."

_But you're right here. We were just...wait._ She realized with a start that instead of the real thing, she was just experiencing a particularly wonderful dream. She groaned and rolled toward him, wrapping her arm around his waist as he stroked her hair.

"Is it morning?" _If it's not, you are in so _much _trouble. _She knew it wasn't his fault, not really, but she still was wanting and sweating and so _hot. _She begrudgingly opened her eyes to see his face before hers, looking at her in concern, his eyes glinting silver in the moonlight as he examined her face. "What's wrong?"

"You were having a nightmare," Nathaniel murmured to her, his voice still rough from sleep. "You were thrashing and moaning." He caressed her face and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as he continued searching for clues that she was all right and not in distress.

At this, she sighed and stroked his back as she thought about how to respond. An idea came to her and she grinned wickedly at him, causing him to raise one eyebrow in surprise. "No, I was having a really _good_ dream. Would you like me to show you?" she asked, her voice teasing as she pushed him onto his back. "You know. Since you're awake anyway. We might as well make good use of our time." She moved her hand down past his waist and … made sure he was paying attention as she nuzzled his collarbone, making him gasp.

His quiet chuckle ended in a slightly strangled sound as she squeezed him. "Remind me to wake you up more often," he replied, his voice breathless. He pulled her so she was lying on top of him, straddling his waist, and he helped complete her dream.

Later, she fell asleep with a smile, tucked into his side and listening to his heartbeat while she kept an arm and a leg over him to keep him close. _This is … happiness._ Her eyes closed and the feeling stayed with her through the rest of the night.

-0-0-0-

Sunlight was streaming in the windows when she awoke next. She was alone in bed, but her peripheral vision caught movement at the foot of the bed. She turned her head to Nathaniel silently dressing, easing his breeches over his hips. His hair was still loose and his jaw covered in stubble, giving him a decidedly dangerous look. He picked up his shirt and pulled it over his head; she couldn't help sighing in disappointment as he was fully covered once more.

He heard the sigh and looked over to her, smiling. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

She grabbed her nightgown which had conveniently landed right by the bed the previous evening and sat up to put it on before answering. "_Definitely_. How about you?" She got up and let the nightgown fall the rest of the way over her body as she walked to him, still barefoot. She didn't wait for him to answer as she ran the backs of her fingers over his scratchy jaw. "You look like you could be a pirate right now," she murmured. "I half expect you to swing in and kidnap some damsel and have your way with her until she screams for mercy."

"Some damsel, is it?" Nathaniel was amused. "I'll keep that in mind when I see one." He laughed as Elissa half-punched him on the arm in mock outrage. He kissed her, then continued. "I was going to clean up a bit before breakfast. Are you still planning to go to Amaranthine today?"

Elissa nodded. "I thought we could see what the merchants had in for new armor and weapons. They seemed to have some nice things before the city was attacked, and I was hoping that they might have more now that trade is improving again. Did you want to go and visit with Delilah? She's due soon, right?"

"Yes, any day now." His face softened a bit. "I can't believe I'm going to be an uncle." He smiled and his thumb unconsciously rubbed the ring Delilah had given him when they were children. "I definitely want to go. It's been too long since I was there last." He smiled again. "I'd better go get ready then. I'll see you at breakfast?"

Elissa nodded at him and watched him leave the room. She closed her eyes for a moment, smiling as she touched her lips, then shook off her reverie and started getting ready for the day.


	2. Normalcy

Amaranthine's marketplace was bustling with activity. Brightly colored banners marked merchant stalls, waving in the breeze as if they were trying to draw the most attention to their locale. Children ran about without care, playing games of hide-and-seek and tag, darting about between the adults in their youthful excitement. Women and men pored over the merchants' offerings, testing out goods or haggling on price in order to get the best deals possible. Many vendors shouted to the crowds gathered to entice people to sample their wares and drop their hard-earned coin. It was a riot of color and sound and motion that enthralled Elissa and caused her to stop and take it all in before actually entering the market.

"This is coming along much better than I expected," she finally said after absorbing all the _life_ in the market. "I have to admit, I'm impressed." She looked over to see Nathaniel also observing everything with a look of satisfaction on his face.

"This is better than what I remember from my childhood," he said. "I wonder how much more needs renovation. It certainly looks like everything here is complete." She nodded in silent response and they looked on the market together for another moment before she spoke again.

"Go ahead to Delilah's while I shop. I might be a while and I'm sure you'd like to spend as much time with her as you can." She smiled at Nathaniel as his eyes brightened at the mention of his sister. "We can stay at the inn if you want to stay overnight. Just send word – I'll take my dinner there." She turned back toward the marketplace and took three steps before his voice stopped her.

"Come with me." Surprised, she turned to look at his face. His eyes burned with an intensity she had not seen before.

"Really?" She knew her eyes must have been wide and her trepidation written all over her face. "I don't want to upset her if … if she doesn't want me there. Is it a good time, with the baby and all?" She remembered when she met Nathaniel in the dungeon of the keep and how angry he was toward her. "I don't want to cause an unpleasant surprise for her."

_If she hates me, will we end when we've only just begun? I know she's the most important person in the world to you._ Nathaniel must have guessed the question that she refused to voice aloud, because he smiled as he said, "It will be all right. Trust me." He seemed confident, although his eyes were still intently watching hers.

_This is important to him._ She closed her eyes for a minute, then opened them and nodded at him. "All right. Let's go see Delilah together. We can shop later." Nathaniel relaxed and his smile grew broader as he led her to meet his sister.

The walk to Delilah's house was far too short for Elissa's comfort. She felt incredibly nervous. _I only killed her father. No problem, right? _She mentally rolled her eyes at the thought. _Still, Delilah _was_ the one who told Nathaniel about what his father had done, so maybe it won't be too bad. I just hope that things go all right. I don't want Nathaniel to be at odds with his sister over me._ They reached a small house on the edge of the housing district and Nathaniel stopped and knocked on the door. _Too late to back out now._

The door opened and a lovely, incredibly pregnant woman stepped into the doorway. Her green eyes lit up when she saw Nathaniel. "Nathaniel! I'm so glad you were able to visit again so soon!" Elissa studied her while she hugged Nathaniel. _They have the same hair, but otherwise they look nothing alike. _

Nathaniel broke off the hug and indicated Elissa. "Delilah, I would like you to meet Elissa Cousland. Elissa, this is my sister Delilah."

Delilah smiled warmly at Elissa. _Hmm, I wasn't expecting that._ "Welcome! Please, do come in. I've heard so much about you. I'm glad to finally meet you!" She ushered both Nathaniel and Elissa into her home.

Elissa looked around the small living quarters of the house. It was sparsely decorated, but very comfortable looking. The house felt cozy and serene. "I love your house," she said honestly. "This is nice."

Delilah seemed pleased. "Thank you! It's small but I've always liked it. It feels like a home should to me. You'll stay for dinner, won't you?"

"I don't want to impose," Elissa began. "I'm sure you don't need to cook for extra people - "

"Nonsense!" Delilah waved off the protest. "Besides, we can make my brother cook." The last bit was whispered theatrically, although Elissa could tell that Delilah was making sure that Nathaniel heard. It worked; Nathaniel shook his head and snorted.

Elissa laughed, feeling much more at ease. "Well, then! It sounds like a good idea to me." Delilah gave her a conspiratorial wink and invited both of them to sit and chat.

The afternoon passed quickly; Delilah was an engaging and lively hostess. They told each other stories about everything from when they were children to current plans for Vigil's Keep. Elissa could easily see why Nathaniel adored his sister. She was a fun, intelligent woman who had the same practical streak as Nathaniel. She also had a knack for putting people at ease. Elissa realized that she hadn't had a girlfriend to talk to in far too long; Leliana had been gone to guard the Urn of Sacred Ashes for over a year. It was a nice change to be able to sit down with another woman and just talk like a normal person.

After they had chatted a while, Nathaniel stood up and announced that since Delilah volunteered him to make dinner, he would go to the market to buy something to make. Elissa got up to go with him, but he waved her back down into her seat. "I'll be fine. You two stay here and I'll be right back."

Delilah replied, "Oh, good! It's time for girl talk then!" Nathaniel acted horrified and Elissa watched him escape through the front door while Delilah laughed. Then Delilah turned to Elissa and looked at her knowingly. "When Nathaniel was here last," she said quietly, "I told him that I was glad that he was getting along with you. I didn't realize how close you two had gotten. How long have you two been together?"

Elissa felt her face warm. "Not very long," she replied. "Is it that obvious?"

Delilah smiled. "I see the way you watch each other." She laughed as Elissa felt her face redden more. "I'm glad of it," she continued. "He is happier than he's ever been his whole life. Father never understood him and never accepted who he was. You seem to do both, and that's all I ever wanted for him. You both deserve to have some happiness after everything you've been through. It's wonderful to see that something good is coming from all the ugliness of the past two years."

"I never expected it," Elissa admitted. "It truly surprised me when I realized I care for him. I think it surprised me even more when I discovered he felt the same way. I'm glad you don't object, especially with your father ..." her voice trailed off.

Delilah snorted. "You know better than anyone that Father needed to be stopped. I'm actually glad you got to be the one to do it, since he did horrible things to your family. And we both know that he would have done far worse had you not stopped him when you did. Besides, things turned out for the best. This is a good life for me, and I think Nathaniel finally has a place where he can be himself." She smiled at Elissa.

_She really means it._ Elissa smiled back, the tension that she didn't know she was holding releasing on a long breath.

Delilah changed the subject. "You know, I haven't had a girlfriend to talk to in _forever_. You know what I miss most?" She smiled slyly at Elissa.

"No, what's that?"

"I haven't been able to play with hairstyles! And _you_ have the perfect hair for it!" Elissa laughed even as she groaned. Delilah continued, "Come, sit in front of me and I'll braid your hair. Humor a pregnant woman." Elissa laughed again and shook her head, but complied. It was nice to do girly things once in a while and she found she had missed it too.

When Nathaniel returned from the market, he found Delilah and Elissa chattering away as Delilah was combing out Elissa's hair and putting it into extravagant hairstyles. He just shook his head and went to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. Albert arrived home a short time later, and the four of them enjoyed a blessedly normal evening visiting with each other before Nathaniel and Elissa finally said their good-byes and went to the inn to stay the night.

As they were lying together in bed, Elissa murmured to Nathaniel, "I really like your sister." She felt Nathaniel's chest rumble as he laughed quietly and she drifted off to sleep.


	3. Oneness

Shopping in the market district took nearly all of the following morning, so Elissa and Nathaniel decided to take lunch in Amaranthine before heading back to Vigil's Keep. On the way back, they discussed upcoming plans.

"There's the upcoming dedication ceremony for the casteless of Kal'Hirol, right?" Nathaniel asked as he scanned the horizon. "Will we have time to do that before you have to attend King Alistair's wedding?"

"Yes. I don't think it will take too long to get there and back. In fact, I was thinking we should stop at Highever on the way to Orzammar. I haven't been there since the attack," Elissa put a hand on Nathaniel's arm to reassure him as he winced, "and I promised I would try to visit Fergus soon. We'll be passing close by so it makes sense to do it now. I'd like to do some recruiting anyway. We've been at the keep for more than six months and we still only have five Wardens. Now that things are calmer we need to get more members."

Nathaniel nodded. "That makes sense. Should we plan to stop by other locations to recruit as well then, while we're on the trip?"

"I was thinking about that," Elissa said slowly. "The problem is, because there are only five of us, I worry that we'd be leaving the keep unattended for too long. My thought was to recruit along the northern part of the country as we travel to and from Orzammar, and then go to Denerim for the wedding, and then after the wedding perhaps go to the Circle Tower and Redcliffe to recruit there after. And we should visit the Dalish as well. They should be settled in the Korcari Wilds enough by then that we won't be as disruptive."

"That will work," Nathaniel thought aloud. "So, basically, bring back recruits on each part of the larger route and have them perform the Joining, and then we can take mixed groups with us for later excursions?"

Elissa nodded. "That was what I was thinking. We're in desperate need of warriors of Oghren's ability and I'd like at least one or two more mages as well. But really, we need everything. It's too bad we can't just shoot everything with our arrows from a hundred and fifty feet off." She grinned at Nathaniel.

Nathaniel laughed. "That would make things rather easy, wouldn't it?" They fell into a companionable silence as they walked.

When they arrived at the keep, it was already dark. Elissa went in search of the other Grey Wardens to tell them to prepare to travel the next day, then to Seneschal Kylon to let him know of their plans. Afterward she headed to the kitchens to get food and found Nathaniel there, just finishing up his meal. He sat with her while she ate, then they both went to pack for their trip.

Daybreak the next morning saw all five Ferelden Grey Wardens, plus Zevran, packed and standing at the gates of Vigil's Keep in various states of sleepiness. Elissa looked jealously at Nathaniel, who somehow managed to look like he hadn't been awake most of the night. _That is completely unfair. How does he manage to look wide awake and put together on three hours of sleep? Of course, I shouldn't complain. It was a rather pleasant way to spend the evening._ Her thoughts drifted a moment and she smiled, remembering the previous night's activities. _Grey Warden stamina, indeed._

She shifted her attention back to her companions. Erlina looked surprisingly awake for someone who usually barely got up in time for breakfast and Oghren looked like he still was feeling the effects of the previous night's drink. Anders was looking scruffier than usual. His robes were _almost_ not awkwardly put together and for someone who took great pride in his appearance, he was looking remarkably disheveled. _He must have also stayed up too late. _She shook her head, not really wanting to know, and tried to ignore the headache she had acquired from tiredness. Zevran, of course, looked fresh and ready for the day to start. _Stupid … men. All awake when I'm tired and cranky._

The group set off, trying to cover as much ground as possible that day. Elissa mostly kept to herself, listening as the others teased or taunted or chatted with each other, and kept a lookout for any potential problems on the road. After they had walked for a while, her headache abated and the warm sun brightened her mood so that she almost forgot that she was overtired. _I'll sleep well when we make camp tonight._

They stopped for a quick lunch at the side of the road and started off again. They made good progress with no problems; the only other people they saw on the road were the occasional patrol and one or two traveling merchants. Many farmers were in their fields, tilling the soil or doing early planting, and Elissa noted a reasonably large flock of sheep at one point being tended by several shepherds. _The rest of the arling is recovering. Good. Hopefully everything will be back to normal by the fall._ They traveled until dark then stopped to make camp, then set off early the next morning.

The rest of the trip passed uneventfully. Elissa decided it was a nice change from the anarchy of the blight and the civil war, even though the lack of action bored her a bit. After several days, they came to the city of Highever. Elissa was pleased to see the city in excellent shape, with plenty of merchant stands open and businesses thriving. Even the alienage looked like it was holding up well. She made a mental note to introduce herself to the hahren there and do some recruiting.

Since it was getting close to dinnertime, Elissa sent word to Fergus announcing their arrival in the area and letting him know that they planned to stay in an inn overnight and would visit the castle at his convenience. She didn't want to make him scramble to find a place for them since they were arriving unannounced and at a poor time of day. Fergus sent a note to the inn where they were staying, stating that he would receive them the first thing in the morning. Their plans settled, the group ate dinner together then went to their rooms.

Elissa took a nice hot bath, just soaking for a while to get the dust and dirt from the road off her. She got out and put on a robe and was toweling her hair when she heard the door knock. She went to the door and opened it to see Nathaniel standing on the other side, his hair still wet from his own bath. She invited him in and continued to dry her hair as he sat down.

He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her for a minute before speaking. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?" he asked quietly.

Elissa finished with the towel and picked up her comb as she considered her answer. "I'm not sure. I won't know what I feel until I get there. How are you doing?" She pulled her hair over her shoulder and started to comb out the tangles.

"I'm all right. I'm not thrilled about it, but since I wasn't there it's not like I have any images in my mind of that night." Nathaniel leaned back, putting his hands on the bed behind him. "I'm mostly not looking forward to some of Fergus' men giving me _that_ look, but otherwise I expect it won't be much of a problem."

Elissa smiled. "I'd be surprised if you had any problem at all, actually. You should have seen all of the Highever soldiers after you saved Fergus from those bandits. They were really impressed."

"Were they? Hmm." Nathaniel lay down, his lower legs still dangling off the side of the bed as he looked at the ceiling. Elissa left him to his thoughts as she finished combing out her hair and put it into a long braid, tying off the end with a leather cord. She then climbed on the bed and curled up next to him. She traced his cheekbone back to his hairline and tucked the loose hair behind his ear before settling her hand on his chest.

Nathaniel turned his head to look at her and she found herself caught in his gaze. He smiled at her as he murmured, "Your robe is falling open."

Elissa chuckled. "Is it? That's a shame." She sat up and turned so that she was facing him, then pretended to stretch. The motion of her arms lifting loosened the belt of her robe and opened it further. "Oops."

Nathaniel just watched her lazily, his eyes twinkling. "It opened more," he said helpfully as he looked her over. Elissa raised an eyebrow at him. _You're going to make me work for it, are you? All right, I'll play._ She got off the bed entirely and knelt at his feet.

"You really need to remove your boots if you're going to lie down," she murmured as she unlaced his boots and pulled them off. Then she removed his socks before untying the belt to her robe, letting it hang open. She climbed up Nathaniel's legs, making sure to graze them with her body before half-climbing on top of him, letting her breasts rest on his hips before she stopped. She felt the bulge in his breeches press against her sternum and she rested there, waiting a moment before lifting her eyes to see him looking down at her. _Good. I have his attention now._ "I took care of your shoes," she said as she smiled at him wickedly before sliding back down his legs until she was kneeling on the floor.

"Thanks," he said before clearing his throat. Elissa grinned; she definitely detected a note of hoarseness there. He stood up and looked down at her, his eyes still showing amusement but with distinct predatory notes present. "You should get up off the floor before you catch cold." He held out his hands to help her stand. When she took them, he pulled her up so that she was off-balance and needed to grab onto his shoulders for support. He reached inside her robe, putting his hands on her bottom, and pulled her toward him so that she was trapped with a leg on either side of his thigh and the rest of her body was flush with his. He leaned forward so that she could feel his breath on her ear when he whispered, "You should be warmer now."

She knew her voice was more breathless than she intended when she responded, but she was quickly deciding she didn't care much. "Thank you," she breathed into his ear and was rewarded with hearing a catch in his breath. She ran her hands down his arms, shrugging her robe off her shoulders and letting it pool around their feet. She brought her arms back up and wrapped them around his shoulders. She shifted her weight a bit, making sure to brush her hip against his erection, and spoke into his ear again. "It got hot."

He laughed then, a husky, breathless sound, and pulled her just far enough away so that they could look at each other. His gaze grew in intensity as he brought a hand up to trace the tattoos on her face, then he lowered his head to kiss her.

She forgot how to think.

His kisses were gentle but sure, neither demanding nor hesitant; he just _knew_ and possessed her completely. She was dimly aware of his hands moving smoothly over her body, of him lifting her and depositing her on the bed, but until he broke from their kisses to remove his shirt she failed to remember her own name or where they were. Then, she looked into his eyes as he lowered his head to hers again, those beautiful, intense eyes that focused completely on her, and was lost again before his lips reclaimed hers.

She felt loved. She felt safe. She felt his weight settle on hers and she felt like he was protecting her from everything – there was nothing in the world but him and her. Then he entered her and there was nothing in the world but _them_, with heartbeats and breaths and souls synchronized, and for the first time in her life she understood the profound sense of _two_ becoming _one._

They made love throughout the night, slowly, unhurriedly, and reveled in their _oneness, _always kissing, always touching, just _being_, until their bodies dragged them into sleep for a short while to let them rest for the day. When they awoke, they looked at each other and understood their connection, not needing words to describe it.

If asked later, Elissa would not be able to say how she got dressed and downstairs, or what she ate for breakfast, or even the path that they took to walk to Castle Cousland that day. She felt like she was floating along in the world of Elissa and Nathaniel, and it was a very nice place to stay. The euphoria lasted until they were admitted into the great room of the castle and she saw her brother standing before her, looking unusually grim. She blinked back into the real world and felt her heart crash through her stomach and into the ground when she heard Fergus utter five words she really _hated_ to hear:

"Elissa, we need to talk."


	4. Trouble in Paradise

A/N: It is not necessary to read my story "Forgiveness" to follow this one, nor is it necessary to read this story to understand "Forgiveness." However, the stories are related to each other in certain situations. If you're interested in Fergus' perspective, the opening chapter of "Forgiveness" takes place immediately after this meeting in this chapter. Thanks. :)

-0-0-0-

"Elissa, we need to talk."

Those words. Those were the words that Alistair had spoken to her after the now infamous (in her mind, at least) Landsmeet. Those words had crushed her very soul; the last time she had heard them spoken, it had taken her the better part of a year to recover from their effects. And now her brother was using them, looking at her the way Father would have when he expressed his rare disappointment with her.

_This can't be good._

Elissa took a deep breath, then responded to her brother. "What is it?"

Fergus walked up to her and lowered his voice. "You never told me what _exactly_ happened when the castle was taken." He was angry, she realized. Really, really angry.

_How did he find out?_

Her thoughts must have shown on her face, because Fergus answered the question for her. "One of the servants also managed to escape that night. He came to me a few days ago and expressed his … condolences." Fergus' mouth turned down further and his brows lowered, making him look menacing. "You kept it from me. _Why?_"

"I wanted to spare you the pain. Since Rendon was already dead when I found out you were alive, I figured you didn't need the details. _Nobody_ should have to live through knowing that happened to their family, and you were already grieving enough as it was."

"I didn't _need_ the details?" Fergus' voice raised in volume. "You thought that I didn't NEED to know how my wife and child died? That bastard's men RAPED my wife and you didn't think it was important enough to tell me?" She heard gasps around her as he shouted the last part.

"What would you have done about it, Fergus?" Elissa was trying to stay calm, but her brother's anger made it difficult. "Rendon Howe was already dead. He had already paid for his crimes. I didn't want you … to have to deal with the nightmares I had from that night. I thought it was better that you remember them from happier times." She looked at Fergus intently. "I knew it would have done no good, and much harm, to bring it up afterward."

"So you decided to allow his _son_ to join your ranks instead, Elissa?" Fergus sneered the word _son._ "You decided that it would be all right to let a _Howe_ stand behind you with a bow in hand? Were you TRYING to finish the job his father started!"

Elissa narrowed her eyes at her brother as she heard a scuffle behind her. Oghren's and Zevran's voices sounded, making reassuring noises. _Please keep Nathaniel calm._ "Nathaniel has nothing to do with this, Fergus. We've discussed this already. He's a good man, and nothing like his father."

"He's a _Howe_, Elissa!"

"So you've decided that the entire _family_ should be defined by the actions of one crazy man? Nathaniel has more than proven himself_._ He's saved my life countless times and he's even saved _your_ life! Rendon would never have done that! Nathaniel and his sister are HORRIFIED by what their father did." Elissa took a deep breath to calm down. "Yes, Nathaniel is a Howe. He represents the name far better than Rendon ever did. You thought so yourself not long ago."

"That was before I knew how sick and twisted his father was! And Father _trusted_ Rendon right up to the point where he murdered everyone in the entire castle! What makes you think his _son_ won't do the same to you eventually?"

Elissa looked at Fergus steadily. "I'll take my chances," she said quietly.

Fergus' eyes widened and he stood there, stunned, as realization grew in his face. His jaw worked soundlessly as he attempted to speak. Finally he found his voice. "You're _sleeping_ _with him?_"

Elissa stood tall and tilted her chin upward. "Yes."

"You...you ..." Fergus stared at her, disbelieving. "What is WRONG with you? You rejected _Teagan_. For _HIM._"

_I was wondering who put Teagan up to that._ "Yes."

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? DO YOU KNOW WHAT FATHER WOULD HAVE SAID ABOUT THIS?"

"I presume he would say that I'm showing more sense than his son is, at present," Elissa replied tartly. "I'm not the one who is confusing one man for another here."

Fergus' hands jerked. He gritted his teeth in a visible effort to, Elissa presumed, not strangle her at that very moment. After several moments of struggling with himself, Fergus straightened. "I will not allow a _Howe_ to inherit any _part_ of Highever." His voice belied his tightly controlled fury.

Now it was Elissa's turn to stare in disbelief. "You think that a _piece of dirt_ is what this is about? Do you honestly believe that? We're Grey Wardens, Fergus. We don't hold land or political titles. The minute Duncan made me a Grey Warden, I stopped being a noble. You know that Amaranthine is the property of the order and not mine personally. I don't even _want_ it, truth be told. Neither does Nathaniel, or he would have left the order and taken the land you already gave him instead of passing it on to Delilah's child."

Fergus snorted. "It's a better explanation than the other thing I can think of." Derisive was too generous of a description for his tone.

"Which is?" Elissa's voice held a quiet warning.

Fergus' voice dropped to a low growl. "How long did it take you to invite a _Howe_ to your bed, _dear sister_? Did you wait for Alistair to kick you out first, or did you have to give Loghain a tumble before the King would toss you aside? Did Zevran warm your bed until you went to the keep? Who _else_ has gotten a piece of you?"

She saw her fist connect with her brother's face before conscious thought registered, although she honestly could not say she was sorry that she punched him. He fell to the floor and blood started pouring out of his nose. She leaned over him and grabbed his shirt, pulling his shoulders off the floor in her anger.

"I will say this," she ground out, "and then our _conversation_ is OVER." She took a breath so that she wouldn't punch Fergus again, although she dearly wanted to smash his face to a pulp. "Do you think our family was the only one that was destroyed by Rendon? The damage he caused his own family occurred for _years._ And when you calm down and think about what Father and Mother would have wanted, you reconsider your position. In the meantime, I have to go and be a Grey Warden." She dropped him then and spun on her heel. She marched up to Nathaniel, who had stopped struggling against Oghren and Zevran, and said, "Anders, please heal Teyrn Cousland. I think I broke his nose. Everyone else, we're leaving. We have to go to Orzammar now." She held out her hand to Nathaniel, who took it and squeezed it in reassurance, and left Cousland Castle with her head held high. She made it a point to ignore the stares and whispers of the Highever guards who wisely decided not to intervene.

The group went to the inn and packed their things quickly and silently and made their way to the city gates. She set a fast pace in her anger, the others following behind her without making a sound. After about an hour, she heard Anders behind her. "Hey, Elissa?"

She stopped and turned to face him. "Yes?"

"Do you have a sister?"

She laughed despite herself, and her companions' faces relaxed. The rest of their travel that day went, more or less, back to normal.

Later, when they made camp for the night, she leaned against Nathaniel as they both watched the flames of the campfire flicker. "I'm sorry my brother was an ass today," she said. "I never expected him to act that badly."

Nathaniel rubbed her shoulders, easing some of the tension from them. "I can't say that if our positions were reversed that I'd have shown as much restraint as he did. There's no need to apologize." He sat silently for a moment. "Do you regret not letting Arl Teagan court you?"

Elissa sat up and looked Nathaniel in the face. "No." She smiled at him and turned back around, leaning against him again.

She could hear his smile when he replied. "Good." They sat and watched the fire for a little bit longer before going to sleep.


	5. Reminders of Home

The sun had arisen already, judging by the ready visibility in the tent. Elissa didn't hear anyone stirring in the camp so she figured it must still be early morning. Nathaniel was still curled up behind her, his hand splayed possessively across her stomach even in his sleep. She could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back and quiet breathing sounded in her ear. She was sure that if she tried to move her head, she would find that he had her hair pinned beneath him. _I'd cut it shorter if I didn't think he would thoroughly object._

As she took in the early morning calm, she became aware that her right hand hurt. She turned it to see the back of her hand and noted the bruises on her knuckles. _That's right. I never asked Anders to heal my hand yesterday. _She flexed her fingers, testing to see how much damage she had done to herself, and decided that her hand was only bruised. She grimaced thinking of the day before. _Fergus shouldn't have said what he did, but I shouldn't have punched him either. I'm certain Mother and Father would not have approved of us fighting._ She frowned at her hand, then decided she would let the knuckles heal on their own. She would be fine if she needed to use her weapon and it was a reminder of her own stupidity and lack of control.

"I'm glad I wasn't on the other end of that fist," Nathaniel murmured quietly in her ear. "I'm also glad you weren't angry with me." Elissa stopped her examination and covered his hand with hers. She sighed.

"I shouldn't have hit him," she admitted. "I did none of us any favors."

"You were provoked." She could feel Nathaniel shrug. "I'm just glad he's your brother or we would be visiting you in the castle's dungeons this morning."

Elissa groaned. "Don't remind me." She sighed again. "It's never a good idea to anger the second most powerful man in Ferelden, brother or not. I'm half surprised he didn't send guards after us yesterday." She hesitated. "Should I have told him about the attack? I really thought I was doing the right thing, but maybe I should have said something right after the blight."

He was silent for a good minute. "It was a tough call to make." He sounded thoughtful. "I think no matter what you did, he was going to be upset, and understandably so. I don't know how I would react if something like that happened to you." His hand tightened on her stomach, drawing her closer. "If you had told him earlier, finding out about _us_ might have gone better, but I'm not convinced that it would have helped all that much if he had already known." His voice softened. "I never thanked you, by the way."

"For what?" Elissa had no idea what Nathaniel should be thankful for.

"I was worried that you," Nathaniel took a deep breath, "that you might be ashamed of me. Of us. It's one thing to have made me a Warden and another entirely to let it be known that we're … together." He gave her a gentle squeeze. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you had wanted to keep our relationship a secret. You know it will be hard for us outside of the Wardens."

Elissa nodded. "I know it will be hard. But it's worth it. _You're_ worth it to me." She laced her fingers with his and ignored the twinge of her knuckles. "I will not hide you like you're a dirty little secret. I respect you and you deserve better than that. Besides," and she smiled a little as she continued, "if Eamon could marry an Orlesian woman just after the occupation ended and manage to survive politically, we should be fine when neither of us is overly concerned about political power." She shrugged. "It will get better. I have no doubt of that. And I am more than willing to deal with the idiocy in the meantime. I will have to make up with Fergus though, eventually."

"Eventually," Nathaniel agreed. He moved, stroking her hip and kissing her neck before she felt his warmth leave the bedroll. "I'll go hunt us some breakfast."

They made good time on the road that day, and again the following day, until the shadows started to lengthen as the sun made its way toward the horizon. That's when the woman ran toward them and asked breathlessly for help with the bandit attack.

She was perhaps around Elissa's age, dressed in dirty, torn peasant clothing. Her hair looked like it had originally been in a ponytail, the auburn strands having mostly come free. Her face and hands were filthy, as if mud had been rubbed all over them, and sapphire eyes looked at her in exhaustion and desperation. "Please, they've been attacked! They need help! Come quickly!"

Zevran was suddenly by her side. "Be careful, my dear Warden. This could be a trap."

Elissa tried not to laugh. She barely managed to smother her snicker into an amused snort as she glanced to her companion. "She's doing a much better job than when you tried, if that's the case. Besides, what are the odds?"

Zevran did allow himself the amused chuckle. "This is true. Irony aside, do be careful." He looked ahead calculatingly. "At least there are no large trees close to the road here."

The woman in front of her seemed to be genuinely upset. "Please! I don't think they can hold out much longer!"

Elissa nodded. "All right, Miss. You stay with us since you're unarmed. Zev, Erlina, try to sneak around. Nathaniel and I will cover Oghren and try to pick off any ranged attackers. Anders, do your thing." She started forward.

Zevran and Erlina ran off either side of the road and seemed to disappear. Oghren grunted and started to take off right down the center of the road. Anders asked nobody in particular, "Did I miss something?" as the rest of them took off right behind Oghren.

It was a short distance to the crest of the hill. Oghren got to it first, then just … stopped. Elissa caught up to him just as he asked, "Where do we start?" She looked ahead and gasped. The scene before them was utter chaos.

She saw a minimum of four different groups of people, all fighting. There were several men in templar armor, some men wearing Bann Loren's coat of arms, and a whole lot of people wearing light armor with no insignia at all. Then her eyes widened; Fergus had men here. "Start with whoever is attacking Highever's men!" she called out and lifted her bow.

She watched the battle as much as she could while firing off snipers who were aiming for those wearing the Cousland crest. It seemed that the unarmed men and Bann Loren's men were together, fighting against the Templar and Highever forces. This did not reassure her. _Of course Fergus' men are outnumbered. When is it ever a battle in our favor?_ She snorted to herself.

Nathaniel was picking off the enemy's bowmen with ruthless efficiency. She focused on those men in plain armor who were trying to sneak up on Fergus' forces. Oghren was in full berserker mode, so Anders was keeping him healed. After a few minutes, she spotted Zevran and Erlina. They had caught the gist of the battle and had taken out some of Bann Loren's bowmen and were working their way into the fight.

_Wait. I know that fighting style._ She realized with a start that one of the unmarked men moved _just_ like Zevran. She took special care in firing at that man. _Incapacitate; don't kill._ Apparently Zev had seen him too; just as she pinned the man's foot to the ground with a well-placed shot, the elven assassin came up behind the man and knocked him out with the pommel of his dagger. He looked up at Elissa and she nodded. _Good work._ _We'll see what this Crow is up to. _She then returned her focus to the battle.

Things did not look good. With the Wardens' arrival, the Highever and Templar forces were bolstered, but the battle had clearly taken too long and they were still greatly outnumbered. Suddenly, the entire battlefield froze in place.

_Anders doesn't know how to do that, does he?_

Elissa risked a look behind her. Anders shrugged. "It wasn't me. I don't know any paralysis spells." He looked as confused as Elissa felt.

"Then how …?"

"It was me." The dirty peasant, who until now had been largely forgotten, spoke, her eyes downcast. "I don't have much energy left but I was able to muster up enough for that."

"All right then." Elissa turned back to the battlefield. "Let's press our advantage." She started taking out more of the lightly-armored assassins. "Anders, do you have any lyrium potions handy?" She heard a light clink of glass as she and Nathaniel picked off their opponents one by one. "Be ready to do that again if we need it," she told the woman.

"Yes, Ser."

It took a long time for the paralysis spell to weaken. _She must have a fair amount of power._ When it did, all of Bann Loren's remaining men turned tail and ran, as did most of the unarmed men. A few remained, all of whom were men that Elissa had noted used the Crow style of fighting. They picked off who they could, but a couple of men were particularly difficult. Fortunately, Zev and Erlina were right there at that point, and between them and Oghren they were able to finish off the opposition.

The battlefield was a mess. All of the templars were downed and many of Highever's forces were gone. Elissa told a few of Highever's survivors to go find help, and asked the rest to help guard the injured. They agreed readily. "Quick, look for survivors and heal who you can." Elissa unslung her pack and pulled out a large number of health poultices and then a rope that she tossed to Zevran when he ran up to her. "You've got our guest, Zev?"

"I am on it, my friend." He ran back to the prisoner and started tying him up as the rest of them went through and assessed who was dead versus who was merely wounded. Elissa turned to the newly-discovered mage. "Apostate?" The woman, who still had her head down, nodded. "What's your name?"

The woman raised her head and looked at Elissa. "I … it's Eleanor, Ser. After the late Teyrna."

_Of course it is. Doesn't _that_ just figure. _


	6. At Camp Part I

"All right, Eleanor. Walk with me a moment."

The woman dutifully caught up with Elissa, doing her best to match her long stride. Elissa asked her questions as they headed to the now-quiet battlefield. "I presume our friends in the colorful metal suits were here looking for you?"

"Yes, Ser. They … they found my brother. He was trying to slow them down to let me get away."

Elissa nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that." She put a hand on the woman's shoulder. "You were not from the Circle, then?"

"No, Ser. Until very recently, we'd been able to hide our talents from the Chantry. But we were discovered and he fought them. So that I could escape." She put one hand on her stomach, an unconscious move that gave everything away.

Elissa nodded. Then she closed her eyes, and sighed before opening them again. _I can't hand her over. I can't do that to her baby. _"What you do now is up to you. I won't stop you if you decide to run."

The woman came to an abrupt stop. She looked at Elissa with huge eyes filled with gratitude. "Th-thank you, Ser." She started to tear up, but controlled herself and straightened. "I can do a little healing, Ser. I will stay long enough to do what I can to help."

_Interesting. _"Thank you. I appreciate that." Elissa knelt down and started taking off helmets and looking for injuries.

There were a lot of wounded and dead there, so it took some time to get through them. Even with their large supply of poultices and Anders' expertise, Elissa was very glad to have Eleanor's help. She watched out of the corner of her eye to see the woman work.

Eleanor was methodical and fast. She would go to a person, check to see if she could help, do what she could for that person, and then move on. Elissa mentally noted that Eleanor did _not _skip over the Templar bodies either; she spent just as much time and attention on those as she did the others. _She's got character._

When all was said and done, all but two templars had died. The two remaining were unconscious. Nearly all the men without heraldry were dead as well. All of Bann Loren's men who were not dead had already fled, and Highever actually had not lost too many men, although many were seriously wounded. Zevran had divested the suspected Crow of all weapons and armor and had trussed him up nicely, bringing him to the side of the road where he would be questioned upon awakening.

It was getting very dark, so they decided to make camp there as best they could. They built several small fires for the wounded soldiers and set up a makeshift infirmary on one side of the road, near the Wardens' camp, and they dragged all the dead to the other side of the camp to burn in the morning. Where they could find some form of identification or jewelry, they saved it, categorizing it by what type of body it was found on, and got it ready to transport where it needed to go.

Elissa was busy directing everyone when she heard a quiet cough behind her. She turned to see Eleanor, who was busy looking at the ground.

"I … I should be on my way, Ser." She looked over to where the templars were recuperating. "I just wanted to thank you for this chance."

Elissa nodded in welcome and looked at her carefully. _She's dead on her feet and I'll bet she hasn't eaten all day._ "Listen," she started. "Those templars aren't going to wake up before morning, and even then they won't be mobile for at least a day or two. Why don't you take dinner with us and get a decent night's rest before you start running again? You'll still be able to get away and you can hide in one of our tents if they awaken."

Eleanor looked at her nervously and shifted her feet. "I … don't know if it's a good idea. If you hide me they could come after you, too ..." her voice dropped off.

Elissa chuckled. The sound surprised Eleanor greatly. "Well, actually they can't touch me if we handle this right," Elissa said. "I'm the commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden. I'll talk to them and see if we can arrange something. If worst comes to worst, I can conscript you."

Eleanor's eyes widened. "You're … but that means ..." Elissa nodded, at which point Eleanor dropped to one knee. "My lady!"

"That's truly not necessary. Please, just call me Elissa." She helped the mage to her feet. "But you _do_ need to rest and eat. You need to keep your strength up, no matter what happens, for both your sakes." She looked at the mage meaningfully.

Eleanor gasped. "How did you know?" She looked down at her nearly flat stomach. "Is it that obvious?"

Elissa shrugged. "Not really. I notice things." She changed the subject. "Listen, I know for a fact that we have an extra tent. Please go to the tall dark-haired man by the fire; his name is Nathaniel. Tell him that I'm asking him to set up the tent for you and that you can have a change of clothing from my pack. Go get cleaned up and by then we'll have figured out food." She waved off the woman's thanks and sent her off while she went to check on Anders.

"How are you holding up?" she asked quietly.

He looked tired, but he was still bandaging and casting. "I'm faring well enough. I'll be able to stop soon and get some rest." He inclined his head toward the fire where Eleanor and Nathaniel were now standing. "How is our little mage friend?"

"She's exhausted. I'm having her stay at camp with us for the night. She needs food and sleep. If she wants to run in the morning, she can, but for tonight she'll be safe."

Anders paused, then looked up at Elissa. He looked like he was very relieved. "Thank you. You know how much it means to me that you're doing this for her."

Elissa put a hand on Anders' shoulder. "It's my pleasure. We might have to fight again when the templars are well enough to talk to, so make sure you get some rest tonight."

"Understood." Anders finished bandaging the soldier lying in front of him and stood up. "Let's get something to eat."


	7. At Camp Part II

Something was nagging at Elissa.

She couldn't put her finger on it, but something about the battle that day just didn't seem right. Maybe it was because it started so similarly to Zevran's failed assassination attempt? She thought for a minute then mentally shook her head. _Coincidences don't normally make me feel like something is wrong._

She looked around the campfire. Nathaniel was cooking dinner, crouching by the fire while he stirred the stew he was cooking in a large pot. Erlina was sharpening her blades, frowning at something Oghren was saying. Oghren then threw his head back and laughed, and she caught a look of chastisement on Erlina's face. _Good luck with that, Erlina._ She smiled a little. Anders had let Ser Pounce-A-Lot out and was petting the feline while he talked to Eleanor, who continued to sit with her head bowed down. She glanced away to the closest campfire nearby, where Zevran was patiently waiting for their prisoner to awaken.

She studied Eleanor intently then. The nagging feeling was still there, and it bothered her more the more she looked at the woman. She had cleaned up quite nicely and Elissa's clothing wasn't overly large for her, although she had to wear the same boots that she had worn before since Elissa had no extras. But, it seemed that Eleanor's boots were in good shape. The leather reflected the firelight, so they weren't scuffed badly, and Elissa's breeches tucked into the tops of the boots just fine, so the clothing would keep out the worst of the cold.

Elissa shook her head. _I'm being paranoid. _She decided to walk over to see how Zevran was faring. She got up and wandered to the other campfire and sat down by her friend.

"How is he doing?" she asked in greeting.

Zevran looked up from sharpening his blades. "He sleeps yet. It is curious – I did not hit him that hard. I would have expected him to wake up by now."

"He has been out for a long time, hasn't he?" Elissa mused. "Should I send Anders over here to look him over? Maybe he already had a cracked skull and you happened to hit him on an already injured spot."

Zevran shook his head. "No, my dear Warden, that is not necessary. The young lady was here and stayed with him for a time. She said he just needed to rest." He put his daggers back in their sheathes and leaned back, stretching his feet out before him. Elissa watched the movement and then realized something. _I just saw those same boots._

She lowered her voice. "Zev, you should go and see if Nathaniel is finished cooking dinner. Get yourself something to eat. When you do, look at Eleanor's boots and come back to tell me what you see."

"But of course, my good friend." Zevran raised in one graceful motion. "Should I bring back some food for you?" He smiled at her, but his eyes were cautious. He understood what she was getting at.

"No, I'll go over when you're done. I'll watch over our prisoner until you get back." She turned then, keeping one eye on the prisoner and one on the campfire where her comrades were sitting. Zevran spoke to Nathaniel, a smile on his face, and Nathaniel ladled him out a bowl of the stew. Zevran then turned and walked to where Eleanor and Anders were sitting, and bowed deeply, bowl in hand, offering the food to the young woman. Eleanor said something as Anders and Nathaniel shook their heads, then Zevran turned back to the fire where Nathaniel started ladling out another bowl of stew. _Quite the charmer, as usual. _Elissa smiled.

Once Zevran had gotten his own food, he walked back to where Elissa was sitting and sat down, bowl in hand. "Your eye is still excellent, my dear," he murmured. "Those boots are Antivan, and while they are simple in appearance, they cost more than any Ferelden peasant could possibly hope to make in a year."

Elissa nodded. "Enjoy your stew, Zev." She lowered her voice. "Check to see what's keeping our prisoner asleep when you can do so without notice." He nodded at her, putting a spoonful of his food in his mouth. She then got up and went to see about eating.

Elissa went to get a bowl of stew for herself and sat next to Nathaniel, eating and watching everyone interact while she thought some more. Eleanor finished her food and excused herself, saying she needed to sleep. She got up and went into her tent.

After the tent flap closed, Elissa caught Anders' eye and made a quick motion with her head as she got up and walked away from the fire. Anders got up and followed her. As soon as she was sure they were out of earshot of the group, Elissa turned. "I have a couple of questions for you," she said quietly.

"What is it?"

"How many lyrium potions did you give Eleanor during the battle? And did you give her any after?"

"Only two, and they were low potency. I didn't give her any afterward."

Elissa nodded once. "Is it possible to do healing and bandaging all afternoon on those potions you gave her?"

His eyes widened. "Not without some good rest every so often, it isn't. Not for someone who hasn't had advanced training as a mage and who is supposedly low on mana."

Elissa nodded again. "Something odd is going on here and I don't like it. I think it's centered around her. Can you quietly go check the prisoner Zev is watching and then the templars who lived? And I think we need an extra watch tonight who stands well out of spell range for paralysis or sleep spells."

Anders' eyes widened. "I'll go check on them now." He turned to go.

Elissa decided to go see the injured templars and wait for them to wake up, once she had revised the watch schedule.

-0-0-0-

Elissa winced as she watched Oghren sway and fall to the ground. _At least he's done that before. I hope he didn't hurt his head too much. He was actually sober this time. _After a few moments, a tent flap opened and Eleanor peeked out. Satisfied that everyone was asleep, she exited the tent and stood up straight. She walked over to the next campfire, stepping over Erlina's unconscious form, and headed straight for the prisoner. She started to cast, her hands glowing brighter by the second. Elissa nodded to the man next to her and took aim.

Her arrow went cleanly through Eleanor's shoulder, interrupting the mage's concentration and causing her to lose the spell. Eleanor looked up just in time to see the enormous man in full plate, emblazoned with Andraste's Sword of Mercy, running at her. He shouted a prayer and she went pale as he rammed into her, knocking her down. She started reaching for her waist but the man grabbed her wrists, pinning her to the ground, as Elissa ran up with her bow trained on the woman's neck. Eleanor hissed in pain.

"Do you have the restraints?" Elissa asked. The man nodded and produced a pair of manacles with runes engraved on them. He proceeded to shackle Eleanor. Elissa searched her for weapons, finding a dagger in her waistband and another in her boots. Elissa turned to the templar then.

"Can you hold her still while I remove the arrow and bandage her?"

He nodded again and laid the mage on her side, holding her immobile, while Elissa held her shoulder and grabbed the arrow. "This will hurt," she warned, and produced a dagger. She swiftly cut the shaft of the arrow then finished pushing it through Eleanor's shoulder as the mage whimpered in pain. She immediately pulled the shirt off Eleanor's shoulder, ripping the fabric, and produced a pair of health poultices from a small bag that was tied around her waist. She put one on each side of the injury and then wrapped them up in bandages. When she was done, she nodded to the templar, who sat Eleanor up and then let go. Elissa sat down in front of Eleanor and stared at her uncompromisingly.

"Eleanor," Elissa stated, "we need to talk."


	8. Intrigue

The headache just wouldn't let up. Elissa leaned forward and rubbed her temples, trying to ease the pain between her eyes that was pounding away merrily at her skull. _I need a nap. Or a drink. Or a nap and then a drink. _She looked at Nathaniel, then at Alistair. Both men were watching her intently, waiting for her to speak.

It had been a busy morning following a sleepless night. Some of Fergus' men had found help in the form of a royal procession, Alistair and Alfstanna at its head. Apparently the pair were on their way to Orzammar as well, having been invited to the same ceremony that the Wardens were planning to attend. Eventually. As soon as they got this mess sorted out.

Alistair's healer was making the rounds, tending the injured, and his men were handling guard duty over both Eleanor and the Crow prisoner. Since they were free, Elissa chose this time to meet with the other Wardens, Zevran, Alistair and his betrothed, and a senior guardsmen of the Highever forces. The templar who had helped Elissa the night before, Ser Bryant, promised to be there shortly so that they could begin. _I can't believe Ser Bryant survived Lothering, although I'm glad he did. He's one of the few templars I've met who doesn't have his head stuck up Andraste's ass._

The miniature dwarves inside her head were still mining away, working harder than ever. She thought she could make out a droned chant between the hammer swings, keeping the pulses even. Of course, this made each pulse stronger than ever, which was _so_ helpful. She had trouble thinking about anything, let alone that their king, who just happened to be her ex-lover, was sitting by a fire while his fiancee looked on, totally oblivious to the fact that her _current_ lover was not five feet away and was watching her. Her headache increased in intensity.

Anders' face filled her vision. He put his hands on her face, the fingertips touching her temples, and chanted under his breath. She closed her eyes and waited for the headache to recede, which it did, but only a little. Then, she felt familiar hands on her shoulders, working out some of the knots. She started to sigh with relief as the cacophony in her head eased, then moaned a little (_Oops, was that out loud?_) as Nathaniel found a particularly nasty knot at the base of her skull and loosened it. She wasn't sure, but when she opened her eyes she thought that Anders looked affronted.

"Sorry, Anders," she said, feeling suddenly giddy with the cessation of pain. "We all know that you can make the earth move, but Nathaniel's got _very_ good hands." Anders blinked and the wonderful sensation at her neck stopped for a moment. Then she heard Nathaniel chuckle quietly behind her and Anders grinned as he got up and bowed.

She heard Alistair's voice from across the campfire, "I did not just hear that. She didn't say that, did she?" Anders moved back to his seat and she risked a peek over at Alistair. He was blushing, of course, and Alfstanna looked like she couldn't decide if she was scandalized or amused. Oghren was laughing and Erlina and Zevran just grinned. The Highever soldier didn't know what to make of all and so shifted uncomfortably, choosing to remain silent.

Ser Bryant joined the group and Elissa made introductions. Alistair waved off the 'Your Majesties' and informed them all to _please_ just call him Alistair, and then turned his attention to Elissa. Nathaniel abandoned the shoulder massage, much to Elissa's dismay, and took a place next to Elissa as she started.

"We have a problem. A political problem. I've already filled you all in on the basics of yesterday's battle, those of you who weren't here for it. Out of our survivors, two in particular are worth special note. One is an apostate mage-turned-mercenary, and the other a Crow." Zevran nodded to enforce her point. "I'll start with the mage.

"She was hired to infiltrate the Wardens, to get close to us. Or at least that's what she says. Her mission was to draw the attention of the templars and have them chase her to us, the assumption being that we would conscript her to save her from Chantry justice." Anders shook his head, but she continued. "She was supposed to follow us around and report back to her contact on our whereabouts and activities after gaining our trust. But," Elissa sighed, "now she's saying that she really _does_ want to join us, because we didn't kill her outright and showed mercy."

Ser Bryant spoke up. "She is an apostate, my lady. We have very specific rules on how to deal with them."

Elissa nodded. "I know, Ser Bryant, but there is something you may not be aware of. I had Anders check her, and she's with child. I presume you normally kill apostates if they're not from the Circle?" Byrant nodded grimly. "Right. I'm not willing to knowingly kill an innocent if I don't have to. Plus, if she dies, we lose this chance to learn who ultimately hired her for this job." She silenced the protests that were starting by raising a hand. "I don't know if we should trust her, but I would like to get to whoever is trying to learn about our movements. I'm sure it will be important for us.

"The other person is the Crow we captured. Zevran interrogated him. Zev, if you will?" Zevran nodded and started to speak.

"The prisoner that our lovely Commander and I captured is, indeed, a Crow. He was selected to … be expendable in the battle." Zevran frowned. "He said that he and the group of Crows camped outside of Denerim to learn of their job from their contact, who came to their camp during the night. The instructions were to fight with Bann Loren's men against Highever forces. They were to wipe out Teyrn Cousland's men and assume their identities long enough to enter the castle in Highever and assassinate the Teyrn."

"What?" Alistair was flabbergasted. "Who would do this? To Fergus, of all people? And why?"

Zevran inclined his head to Alistair. "I was just coming to that part. Our prisoner described the man who came to see them. Apparently, the man who hired them was also their contact. He was medium height, with red hair and a moustache and goatee. He was rather round around his middle and arrogant in behavior. He said," and here Zevran paused, his eyes glancing in Nathaniel's direction, "that his name was Nathaniel Howe."

"WHAT?" Nathaniel leaned forward, a look of total dismay on his face. "I would never -"

"Of course you wouldn't." Elissa put her hand on Nathaniel's arm to calm him. "Besides, the man looked nothing like you."

Nathaniel calmed a bit, then put his head in his hands. "If this plan had succeeded, it would have ended in my hanging."

"But it didn't," Elissa reassured him. "And now we know that someone is out there trying to destroy you. But who?"

Everyone fell silent for a moment, then Alistair's eyes widened. "Vaughan," he breathed.

"The Arl of Denerim?" Alfstanna looked at her betrothed, aghast. "Are you sure?"

Elissa sat back, shocked. But then she thought about it. "Of course," she murmured. "It makes perfect sense. Vaughan had good reason to hate Rendon – Rendon had him locked up, and probably tortured, for who knows how long. And Vaughan has reason to hate the Grey Wardens, particularly me." She had to smirk a little as Alistair unexpectedly broke into a laugh. Zevran and Oghren smiled.

The rest of them gaped at Elissa. "This isn't funny," Nathaniel grumbled at Elissa.

"Well, it sort of is. We'd discovered Vaughan trapped in the dungeons of his own estate after …" Elissa hesitated, not wanting to continue the train of thought, "We found out he had kidnapped and raped an elven woman on her wedding day." Alfstanna gasped and covered her mouth. "So when he tried to bribe me with hush money and let him go, I took the money … and left him locked up." Erlina looked at her with respect in her eyes and Anders laughed.

"I wouldn't normally approve of such a thing, but it seemed fitting at the time. What did you do with the money, anyway?" Alistair asked.

"I donated it to the alienage anonymously." Elissa shrugged. "It seemed the right thing to do. Anyway, Vaughan was spitting mad. He called me all sorts of names and threatened me over it. I suppose that he didn't forget about it. My guess is he heard about when Nathaniel rescued Fergus, realized that he was working with me, and is likely trying to get revenge against both the Howes and Couslands."

"Do you think Eleanor is part of that?" Anders asked.

"I don't know. Eleanor claimed she didn't know her contact's name. She was supposed to leave notes at specific locations, detailing our whereabouts. So it could be part of that, or it could be something greater. Until we get some solid proof, there's no way to tell." Elissa looked at Ser Bryant, not looking forward to his reaction to her next statement. "It could be that it wasn't just Rylock who was unhappy that I conscripted Anders. What if the Chantry is also trying to discredit us?"

Bryant looked at Elissa in shock. "You don't think …?"

Elissa sighed. "I have to consider it. I hope it's not true, but there were unpleasant circumstances around Anders' induction into the Grey Wardens." Anders blanched a little at the statement. "If one of the senior templars was to hold a grudge about that, as Ser Rylock did, then they could be trying to catch me doing something the Chantry would not approve of. Planting a spy in the form of an apostate might make perfect sense to them."

"Maker's breath, Elissa." Alistair shook his head. "How do you come up with all these theories?"

Elissa smiled ruefully. "There have been enough plots and attempts on my life now that I have to consider every possibility." She looked into the fire. "But now we have to figure out what to do with the information and prisoners that we have. Unfortunately, we need proof to act, and we don't have it yet, so we have got to be careful. And I worry about where our enemies will try next since this attempt failed." She looked pointedly at Alistair and Alfstanna. Alistair paled, while Alfstanna looked grim. She turned to the Highever soldier, who had been watching all of this in silence. "Ser, if you would, I would like you tell Teyrn Cousland what transpired here. I think you should take the Crow with you, since ultimately the Teyrn should be the one to dispense justice for the failed attempt." The guard nodded. "Also, he might want to question the prisoner himself. Can you do that?"

"Yes, my lady. I believe we can handle that." The guard got up and motioned to his colleagues. "I will take care of it now."

Elissa nodded. "One last thing, please make sure you note that the man the Crow described was not, in fact, Nathaniel? I don't want any misunderstandings."

"I will make sure of it, my lady. We still owe Ser Howe a debt from when he saved the Teyrn's life." The guard turned and left.

_One problem solved, for now at least. _ "Now, about our mage friend. Does anyone have any suggestions?"

Ser Bryant had been thoughtful since Elissa had mentioned the possibility of a Chantry plot. He chose this moment to speak. "I think, my lady, that you should keep the mage with you. However, if you do, I suggest that I accompany you also. I can help manage her should she cause you problems, and I want to know the truth about who is behind this. So if you will have me along, I would like to help."

_Well, then. The world is full of surprises._ Elissa smiled. "I think that's an excellent idea." Anders looked like he was going to protest, but Elissa shot him a warning glance as she continued. "If the Chantry is unhappy with us, having a templar along would help in the short term, because they would feel they have an influence with the Wardens. They don't, but it would appease them long enough for us to learn the truth. And we have learned that templar talents do come in handy should we encounter darkspawn or mercenary mages." She looked at Alistair, smiling, and he nodded. She turned to Anders.

"Anders, I know your history with templars is … not pleasant. But I wouldn't agree to this if I thought that Ser Bryant was going to cause you trouble. Out of all the templars we've met in our travels, the only two I can think of who you would get along with well would be Ser Bryant and Alistair. Both of them have far more common sense than your average templar. Besides, you're a Grey Warden and the Chantry has no control over you any more." Anders grumbled but nodded reluctantly.

"Is there anything else?"

"Yes, my dear." Zevran looked at her. "I would like to go and investigate to see what information I can find. I will talk to some friends of mine and see if they will help." _Ah, yes, the Dark Wolf._

"I will go with him." Erlina spoke up now. "I can help."

Elissa nodded. "All right. Please, be careful. I take it you'll contact me?" Zevran and Erlina nodded. "All right." She went to her pack and pulled out a pouch of money and tossed it to Zevran. "I hope this is enough to get you started, at least."

Zevran tested the weight. "It should be adequate, my friend." He then smiled wickedly. "It might be even enough to pay for entertainment." Erlina huffed and they both went to pack their things and set out.

"Well, unless anyone has anything else," Elissa stated, "We have to get on the road. Would you like an additional escort to Orzammar, Alistair?"


	9. At Camp Part III

Elissa turned onto her back and let out a silent sigh. Despite not having slept for two straight days and having walked all day, she was unable to let unconsciousness claim her. _I've got to try or I'll be no good to anyone._ So she lay there, her eyes wide open and her mind refusing to clear.

It had been a long, long day. The Wardens had, indeed, joined with the royal procession. It made sense as both groups were going to the same destination, and now they all had to worry about potential threats to Alistair and Alfstanna's lives. Of course, maybe traveling with Elissa and Nathaniel might have done more harm than good in that regard, as Elissa's mind reminded her frequently. She wasn't sure if the Wardens' presence was a help in making the royal couple safer, or a hindrance in that it was putting them in harm's way.

Then, there were the instances of individual tension. Anders was unusually quiet and stayed as far away from Ser Bryant as he could, becoming decidedly morose by the end of the day. Bryant, for his part, chose to walk near Eleanor, who was released from her bonds but was uneasy because she was smart enough to know she wasn't trusted by anyone there. She knew that if she tried to run away that she'd have several large men chasing her down and killing her. _That's not uncomfortable at all._ Elissa shook her head wryly.

Oghren stayed near Bryant, his natural resistance to magic making him an obvious choice to help guard Eleanor. This would have been fine if he wasn't also the perfect person to entertain and distract Anders from the fact that there was a templar in their party. And since Anders was avoiding Bryant, he was nowhere near Oghren while they traveled.

Elissa had felt obligated to walk near Alistair and Alfstanna for a large portion of the day. This was reasonable, it being appropriate protocol, except that Alistair being his usual charming and chatty self seemed to threaten Nathaniel. Between Alistair's constant talk and the royal guards whispering about Nathaniel and the other Wardens, Elissa was sure that Nathaniel had seen enough of royalty for a long time. She was also sure that he was jealous of the easy manner that Alistair had with everyone, including herself. He got to the point where, by the end of the day, he refused to leave Elissa's side and was silent. _At least he didn't act like a mabari to mark his territory. I'm surprised that he detached from me long enough to take first watch. _Elissa sighed silently again and rolled her eyes in the dark.

She heard footsteps outside the tent, then Nathaniel and Anders' voices conversing softly. _It must be time for Anders' watch._ They talked for a moment, quietly, then it was silent again. Then there were footsteps coming near her tent, only they were heavier than Nathaniel's. Then, "Isn't that Elissa's tent?"

_Oh, joy. It's Alistair._ And Elissa felt her headache from that morning start again.

"Yes, it is." Nathaniel spoke softly, his tone being one that Elissa recognized as carefully neutral.

There was a long moment of silence, then, "...Oh." There was another long silence, then she heard, "How long?" Alistair's voice had that little crack in it, the one that he got when he was feeling emotional. Elissa could almost picture the wounded puppy look he got when he was unhappy.

"About a month now." Elissa envisioned Nathaniel's expression at that point; she could see the raised brow, the forced politeness covering the underlying challenge, the intense stare.

There was another long pause. Even inside her tent, Elissa could feel the tension coming from the two outside.

She heard a deep breath, then a loud exhale. _That was Alistair._ "I was hoping to speak with you privately. I wanted … to thank you." Elissa's eyebrows raised in surprise. She was sure Nathaniel was doing the same.

"What for?"

"Well ..." Alistair sounded unsure now. "You know about … us … during the blight, I'm sure. I think everyone does. Did you know about the Landsmeet, and after?"

"Yes." Quietly spoken, and not altogether happy. _What is Alistair getting at?_

"Right. Well." Another sigh. "I know what I gave up. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I also know what it did to her when I … I know what _I_ did to her when I left her like that." Another pause, this time with feet shifting. Elissa imagined Alistair running his hands through his hair as he formed his next thoughts into words. "She looked like she had just stopped … being. It was awful. I don't think she cared whether she lived or died."

Nathaniel's voice had turned hard now, but remained quiet. "You came here to tell me that you know how much you made her suffer?"

Elissa pictured Alistair's wince in her mind. "No. No, I didn't. This is hard, sorry. What I meant to say was...well, when I saw her after that, when she'd just arrived at Vigil's Keep, she didn't look much better. She still looked dead. In her eyes. But then when I saw her again, just a few months later, when you came with her to the palace, she looked a _lot_ better. She actually _smiled_. I didn't think … I didn't think it was possible for her to smile again." Alistair sounded ashamed when he said that.

"What are you getting at?" _That's the big question, isn't it?_

"You brought her back." Elissa blinked, unsure of what to think of that statement. "You fixed the part of her that I broke, and if the way she looks at you now is any indication, you made it stronger. I just … thank you."

Nathaniel's voice was surprised. "You're … welcome."

"You seem to take care of her. I … I don't think I ever did that. She spent her entire time taking care of me, and I never gave her anything back."

Nathaniel snorted. Elissa thought he sounded vaguely amused. "She never asks for anyone to take care of her. It's easy to miss if you don't pay attention."

"Just … please. Don't be an idiot like me. Don't break her again if you can help it. It might just kill her if it happened again. She's too special to have that happen to her. She deserves a lot more than what I did."

"I don't intend to." Nathaniel's voice was quiet and confident. "She's everything to me."

There was another long pause. "I … I should go, I guess. I need to get back to Alfstanna." Alistair's voice sounded resigned. "I don't need to mess up this too."

"She seems like a fine woman." Nathaniel sounded reassuring. "I know Elissa really likes her and she's been saying that Alfstanna is a good match for you, maybe better than she was."

"Really?" Alistair sounded surprised. "Well, um … I'll just … be off, then. Good night." Heavy footprints sounded, getting quieter until they were no longer audible.

Elissa closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. She heard Nathaniel enter the tent and undress quietly, then felt him slide into the bedroll next to her. It was silent for a minute, then she heard him whisper, "How much did you hear?"

Elissa opened her eyes. "All of it." She turned her head to see Nathaniel laying on his back, looking at the roof of the tent. She couldn't tell much because of the darkness, but it seemed like he was thinking.

Nathaniel rolled up onto his side then and looked down at her. "I meant what I said," he murmured.

She smiled then. "I'm glad you feel the same way." The air around him stilled for a moment, then he leaned over and the passion in his kiss wiped all thought from her mind. It was a little while before she fell asleep, but when she did fall into unconsciousness at last, she smiled as the wait was well worth it.

-0-0-0-

As soon as Elissa exited her tent the next morning she sought out Anders. She found him sitting on the edge of the campsite petting his cat. He looked thoughtful. She sat down next to him and waited.

After a little bit, Anders shifted and looked at her. "Ser Bryant spoke with me this morning," he said. "Did you know that he was stationed in Lothering before the darkspawn came through there?"

Elissa nodded. "That's where I met him. We were just ahead of the horde – it was right after Ostagar. We stopped in Lothering to resupply."

"You know, when you spend as much time with templars as I have," Anders smiled wryly, "you learn a few things. One of the things I learned is that Lothering was a post for templars who don't fit in to the whole 'the Chantry is the best thing that ever happened to me' mindset. Usually, the templars who got sent there that I knew of were the ones who thought for themselves and usually got in trouble because of it, but not enough trouble to get sent to Aeonar. Something about it being a remote outpost made it good for that, or something." He shook his head.

"I didn't know that." Elissa smiled at Anders. "But it makes sense." She leaned back. "I bet if Alistair had taken his final vows he'd have ended up there."

Anders laughed. "Ser Bryant said the same thing." Then he sobered as he looked at her. "He also said that he had worked with Rylock once to catch apostates. He said he thought she was crazy and had taken too much lyrium, that it had addled her and made her paranoid."

"Either that or she needed to _really_ consider breaking her vow of celibacy." She smirked at him wickedly.

Anders laughed again. "That _would_ explain a lot! I _knew_ she wanted me!" He shook his head and sighed. "I'm sorry I was difficult yesterday. I let myself be prejudiced by the uniform and didn't give him a chance. I'll … try."

Elissa leaned over and bumped his shoulder with hers. "It's all right," she said softly. "I don't blame you. I'm sorry I put you in an uncomfortable position. If you have any problems, just let me know and we'll figure something out, all right?" She stood up and offered him a hand to help him stand.

He accepted it, scooping up his cat in the other hand, and they made their way back to the campfire for breakfast. "I can do that. And thanks."

_Maybe traveling with everyone won't be so bad after all. Only time will tell._


	10. Entering Orzammar

The gates of Orzammar seemed taller, somehow. They were so much more _imposing_ than she remembered, the monstrous metal surfaces covered with geometric runes standing so tall that she wondered how the dwarves had managed to install them in the first place. _Admit it to yourself, at least. You're not afraid to go in there because of the _doors.

Alistair and Alfstanna, with their entourage, had gone up to the guard first and were already past the doors. They had decided to more or less part ways once they had reached the city, since the royal couple had been invited to stay in the palace and they had their own functions to attend. Elissa would have thought that she would feel less uncomfortable now that they was back to the smaller group again. It _should_ have made it easier now that she didn't have Alistair giving her wounded looks when he thought nobody was looking. It _should_ have been less uncomfortable since she didn't have to see Alfstanna's disapproval of Alistair's obvious regret and subsequent discomfort with Elissa. It _should_ have been more relaxed now that Nathaniel wouldn't feel that he had to demonstrate that he was now the one who Elissa had chosen. However, consequences and memories were waiting at their destination and she wasn't sure she was ready for them.

"Shouldn't we be going?" Anders' teeth were chattering, even with the heavy woolen cloak he wore over his robes. Elissa roused herself from her musings and looked at the others. Each of them had an expectant look about them. They were obviously waiting for her to approach the guard and gain entrance to the city. And they all looked quite chilly.

"Yes. Yes, of course." And yet, she stood there, her feet unresponsive.

Suddenly, a sheathed greatsword was thrust into her hands. "Hold on to this." She blinked and focused on Oghren's face. He was looking about the same as she felt, full of trepidation. He grabbed his flagon and took a hefty pull from it, then wiped off his mouth and offered it to her. She shook her head and strapped Oghren's sword onto her back, adjusting it so that she could wear both the sword and her bow. _That's right. He's not allowed to carry weapons in the city._ She looked at Oghren as he turned back to face the doors, noting his now-slumped posture and his air of defeat. He looked like he had been, well, emasculated. She supposed that for a warrior caste dwarf, losing the right to bear arms would be akin to losing one's most valued body parts.

She nodded and put a hand on his shoulder, hoping that it would reassure him a little. _I'm sorry. _"I can ask them to lift the restriction." She tried to keep the sympathy from her voice, since he would have been uncomfortable with that.

He looked surprised for a moment, then shook his head. "Nah." He squared his shoulders, though, and stood up a little straighter. He muttered, "Let's get this sodding over with," before starting off toward the door guard. Elissa looked behind her one last time at the others. Ser Bryant was getting ready to unstrap his sword and the others were looking at her curiously. She shook her head to tell Bryant to keep his sword and to let the rest know that they would talk about it _much_ later and started walking after Oghren. The others fell in behind her.

Elissa introduced herself to the guard, who immediately ordered that the doors be opened for the group. He waved them in impatiently, and as soon as they got inside the doors were shut behind them with a heavy clang. _Why does that sound so … final? _She took a deep breath, then started forward. _Yes, let's get this over with._

-0-0-0-

King Bhelen seemed impressed with the silks that the Wardens had brought him as a gift. "We don't see many surface materials in Orzammar," he said, fingering the expensive cloth. "This will make excellent formal clothing. Thank you."

Elissa bowed low to Bhelen. "You are very welcome, your majesty. I'm glad that you like the silks. Our nobles use these same fabrics to make their best outfits." She straightened as Bhelen gestured to one of his men to take the bolts of cloth away.

Bhelen nodded. "Now that trade with the surface is improving, I may just have to ask some of the merchants to acquire more of these sorts of things." He changed the subject. "So, you're the guests of honor at the Kal'Hirol ceremony that the Shapers are hosting?" At Elissa's nod, he continued. "The ceremony is to be held the day after tomorrow, so you're just in time. And you must attend the proving that's being held tomorrow in honor of the ceremony and King Alistair's visit. There's plenty of room for all of you to sit in my balcony."

"Thank you," Elissa replied. "We would be honored." _Politics._ _Politics where we get to spend time with Alistair and Alfstanna staring at me. Maker, I hope this goes quickly. _Elissa kept her face serene while she sighed inwardly. "Except for Oghren, none of us has seen a proving before. I understand a proving is quite the event." She made the effort to keep her voice light.

At this, Bhelen smiled. "They are. And this one's going to be especially exciting, as I've decided to invite some casteless to participate in tomorrow's proving. It should be a good show." He waved another guard over and addressed him. "Please see the Grey Wardens to their rooms." He turned back to Elissa. "Make yourselves comfortable. There will be a banquet in the throne room this evening. I will see you then." He turned his back, dismissing them.

_I guess we'll be staying in the palace as well._ Elissa decided she wouldn't be surprised if she acquired a headache.

Bhelen's guard showed them to a suite of rooms on the far end of the palace. _This is the suite we stayed in during the Blight. _Elissa waited until the guard left them, closing the door, before sighing and rubbing her forehead. The rooms looked exactly the same as they had a year and some odd months before, down to the smallest detail. It took but a moment to close her eyes and see, in her mind, all of her old companions in various states of repose in the common room of the suite. An unexpected wave of nostalgia washed over her, nearly knocking her over in its intensity. She opened her eyes to regain focus as she reminded herself that this was the _present_ and it was _different_ and that she needed to worry about the _now_ rather than dwell on the _then_. And right now they needed to decide who was sleeping in which room.

Anders was improving around Ser Bryant, Elissa decided. He still got jumpy and nervous when he saw the templar unexpectedly, but he was gradually relaxing. Elissa had to applaud his courage when he was the one to suggest that he and Ser Bryant share one of the four bedrooms in the suite and allow Eleanor and Oghren to each have their own room. "Oghren snores something fierce," he had said, "and you and Nathaniel are too used to sharing a room to change now. We'll be all right to share for a few days." Elissa really did want to spend her private time with Nathaniel, and Bryant had not objected, so the arrangements were set.

After everyone had cleaned up, they set out to see the city. Oghren took the rest of the group on a tour of the city while Elissa scouted around to see the state of affairs. She found that in general, the nobles and warriors of the city were dissatisfied for one reason or another, although she most commonly overheard that they were upset that King Bhelen was allowing the casteless to do anything other than beg or steal, the biggest insult apparently being that he allowed them to join the proving. She saw a lot of looks of unrest among the nobles and heard many whisperings of malcontent. The number of royal guards positioned around the Diamond Quarter made her think that she didn't need to warn Bhelen of the unhappiness of the upper castes.

The situation was completely different in the commons. The merchants were numerous and busy and the stream of chatter never seemed to slow. Elissa noted that there were maybe half the guards in the commons than there had been in the Diamond Quarter, despite the much larger number of dwarves gathered there. There were some elves and humans shopping there and even the occasional qunari made an appearance, looking comically tall next to the dwarven people. The merchants' faces were open and relaxed as they enticed their customers with their goods and haggled over prices. Business was obviously good.

_It seems like King Bhelen is a fan of the common man. Even though he personally made me feel slimy putting him on the throne, I think he's done some good here._ Elissa found the thought reassuring. She hoped that his idea of progress would continue to help the dwarves.

Elissa shopped for a bit, finding some clothing that she thought might fit Eleanor. The woman had only Elissa's clothing on her person, and Elissa thought maybe she would want something different to wear. She was surprised to find a decent dress that not only fit around, but was actually long enough for a human to wear, so she bought it. She also found some breeches and tunics that, if they didn't fit Eleanor, would certainly fit her, so she purchased those as well. Packages in hand, she decided to make her way back to the palace and meet up with the others.

When she got back to their suite, she was surprised to see a man with dark hair, wearing a set of deep red dragonbone armor, standing in the center of their common quarters. He was facing away from her, and Anders, Oghren and Eleanor were all looking at him with various levels of admiration.

"That fits really well, Eric!" Anders nodded in approval. "You should definitely wear that from now on." Oghren grunted in agreement before getting up and going to his room. Eleanor didn't say anything, but she definitely blushed when she looked over the armor.

_Who is Eric?_

Just then, Anders noticed Elissa coming in with her packages and waved. "Hey, you're back!" 'Eric' turned around then. It was Ser Bryant.

"What did I miss? And, Eric?" Elissa blinked.

Ser Bryant laughed. "I'm sorry, my lady. I asked everyone to call my by my first name. I thought it would make everyone more comfortable."

"Ah, I see. All right then, Eric. Nice armor, by the way." The armor did fit him really well, and the red color worked well with his swarthy complexion and dark hair.

"Thank you, my lady. We found this at the armorer's and I thought it might work better to wear this than to constantly draw attention with the templar plate. It's not as heavy either."

Elissa nodded to show she understood. "That makes sense to me. And, please, if we're to use first names you should use mine as well." Bryant (er, Eric) smiled and nodded. "Oh, and Eleanor? I found some clothing that I hope fits you. Please, try these on and see how they are." Elissa handed over the packages to Eleanor, whose eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates.

"All of this? For me?" Eleanor looked really surprised. "First, the nice room, and now this?" She looked like she might be ready to cry.

Elissa just smiled. "I thought you might like a change of clothing. Go, try them on." Eleanor clutched the clothes to herself and practically ran to her room. A few minutes later, she emerged wearing the dress. Elissa went to her, looking at her with a critical eye. "It's not bad," she decided. "We can tie in the sash for now, and it's got some room for you to grow into." Eleanor ducked her head, embarrassed but pleased, and sped back into her room.

_How does a mercenary make any money by being painfully shy?_ Elissa shook her head and sighed. _Maybe she doesn't._ She turned to everyone else. "Are we ready to go to this dinner?"


	11. The Proving Grounds

The first three hours of the proving were fine, Elissa decided, but after that it started to feel tedious. She shifted in her seat, trying not to show her discomfort with sitting still for so long, and kept her eyes trained on the battleground. _How much longer?_ She tried to remind herself that at least it wasn't another banquet. By the Maker, that was uncomfortable, with all those unhappy nobles and warriors, who wore a veneer of politeness covering outright hostility. _And all because I crowned Bhelen instead of Harrowmont._ She suspected that even if she had chosen Lord Harrowmont, they would still have been unhappy. Many of the dwarven nobles had stated as such when they were trying to garner troops for the blight, saying that outsiders should not have had a hand in their politics. The fact that she chose Bhelen just made them that much unhappier than they would have otherwise been.

_At least nobody has tried to assassinate me. Yet._ Although if the looks Alfstanna was giving her, and the looks Alistair was giving Nathaniel, were any indication, dwarven nobles were the least of her worries. _Just one more day. We can handle one more day, right? We can leave right after the ceremony. Maybe we can make a detour to avoid having to travel most of the way back with the royal entourage._ _Anything to get away from Ser Mopey and Lady Lemon. _She calculated the time it would take in her head and nodded to herself. _We have time for that. Maybe we can find a recruit or two, and Oghren can visit with Felsi and the baby._

"What are you thinking about?" Nathaniel had leaned in and pitched his voice low so that only she could hear. It probably didn't hurt that to do this, he had to turn and put one hand on her shoulder so that she was practically leaning on his chest. _Score another point for Nathaniel. _She decided to humor him, since he had been under more than a little stress ever since they started traveling with Alistair, and turned her head so that she could answer in his ear. Besides, with Nathaniel talking to her that way, she felt a lovely combination of all-over relaxation and butterflies in her stomach. It was really quite distracting, in the best way possible.

She breathed into Nathaniel's ear, "I was thinking about our travel plans after we leave Orzammar." Judging by the hitch in his breath, he enjoyed the intimacy of their attempt at private conversation as much as she did. She stored that information away for later use. "I was thinking we could leave as soon as is polite after the ceremony tomorrow, maybe go to Lake Calenhad. We could go to the Circle Tower while Oghren visits his family and let Eric and the mages stay at the inn there."

"That would be good." Elissa could feel as much as hear the relief in Nathaniel's voice. His tone turned subtly suggestive and he leaned in closer, so that she could actually feel his nose brush against her hair while he spoke softly into her ear. "I'm tired of acting like a proper noble." The combination of sound and touch would have caused her knees to buckle, had she been standing; as it was, she felt like she was losing her balance and had to put her hand on his chest for support. Otherwise she would have forgotten she was in public and actually leaned on him. He covered her hand with his and chuckled, further wrecking her equilibrium. "You smell like roses. It drives me wild."

Elissa was dimly aware that she must look quite the sight. She was struggling to keep her eyes open, rather than give in, close her eyes, and just _feel_, and her breathing had _definitely_ gone unsteady, not to mention she was absolutely certain everyone there should be able to hear her heart thump-thump-thumping away as if it was getting ready to leap out of her chest. "I see," was all she managed to say, and that sounded husky even to her own ears. Nathaniel's hand squeezed hers and he let out a near-silent groan, audible to her only because he was _right_ by her ear. He took in a breath and Elissa was sure he would have said something, but Oghren's shout brought them out of their little haven and back to the proving.

"Did ya see that! Where did that duster learn to use a sword and shield?" Oghren was practically foaming at the mouth with excitement. "Hah! I never saw anybody move so quickly!" Elissa took a moment to compose herself, although she still felt very warm and unsteady, and looked down at the arena. What she saw stunned her.

Of the two combatants on the field, the one with armor that looked like it was falling apart, even at a distance, was clearly dominating. He was wearing what looked like a cobbled together suit of armor, most likely scraps from ruined armor sets, bits of iron and silverite and red steel forming a metal patchwork all over the breastplate. Even at a distance it was obvious the armor was not meant to hold up well. There was a loose strap at the shoulder that kept flopping distractedly, and the hip and skirt piece was far too long. His boots looked like they were clean, but they reflected a mottled texture, as if their dents had been removed by hand numerous times with inferior equipment. He had no gauntlets or helmet, and Elissa guessed that was because he couldn't afford or scavenge those pieces. His shield was but a small targe and looked heavily dented, and his sword was too long for his height.

His appearance otherwise was also unusual for a dwarf in that he was clean-shaven and had only stubble for hair, making his casteless mark stand out against fair skin even more. He looked like his body was hurriedly hewn from the stone itself, his body was so square, but somehow he moved with exquisite grace. He _danced_ around his much more heavily-armored opponent, who could barely keep up with his movements. He would jump into his opponent's range, and before the warrior opposing him could get his battleaxe raised, he would smack him around with his shield three or four times, or maybe take a good swing at him with his longsword, then shout in his face and jump back out of range and find a new attack angle. The helmeted, fully armored warrior he was fighting clearly had no idea where the next attack would come from and moved like he was constantly dazed.

"He fights like a duelist," Elissa breathed. "I wonder if he ever tried wielding a pair of daggers."

"With that kid's strength he could do it with two longswords," Oghren replied. "Kid's obviously never been trained but he's got talent." Elissa could do no more than nod at the observation.

"Imagine if he had decent armor and weapons, and some formal training," Nathaniel added. "That man would be unstoppable."

Just then, the well-armored dwarf in the arena dropped to the ground. The casteless dwarf had won the battle. It didn't look like his opponent had even gotten a hit in on him. It was just as well; with the man's state of dress it would have been a miracle if he had survived getting hit at all. The audience roared at the outcome; the well-dressed dwarves almost completely overwhelmed the arena with booing and jeering, while a small contingent of casteless were jumping up and down with excitement. Elissa watched as the victor took in the crowd, interested to see his reaction. He turned around once, then grinned and threw his arms up into the air before dropping into a deep bow. Oghren laughed out loud at the display, and Elissa was inclined to agree. "I think," she said once the noise finally receded in the stands, "that we need to try to recruit that dwarf."

-0-0-0-

Finally, the provings were over and they could leave. The poorly dressed "duster shield", as Oghren put it, had made it to the final round before being eliminated by a warrior caste dwarf who had an unbeaten record. For someone who was under-equipped and untrained, it was amazing. Oghren, Anders, Eleanor and Eric decided to go to Tapsters to get dinner, while Elissa and Nathaniel went to the entryway of the proving grounds, hoping to get a chance to talk to the casteless warrior who had so impressed them.

It didn't take long. The dwarf in question emerged from a side hallway, still wearing his dilapidated armor. Up close, it looked even worse than Elissa suspected it would. She wasn't even sure that it was welded together – it looked like one strong breeze would take half the breastplate off. She looked at Nathaniel, who blinked as he observed the dwarf and then shook his head. _So, it's not just me then. That dwarf was insane to go into the arena dressed in that._

They walked toward him and waited for him to press through a throng of casteless, all of whom were cheering and congratulating him. He took the time to grin at each and every well-wisher, nodding and saying something to each person he passed. He managed to emerge on the other side of the small crowd and saw Elissa and Nathaniel. He stopped and raised an eyebrow as he looked them over.

Elissa cleared her throat. "We saw you fight in the proving today. Congratulations. You did really well."

The dwarf considered what she said a moment, then he tilted his head forward once. "Thanks." He started to walk forward, looking as though he might pass by Elissa with no further comment.

"Do you have a moment? We were hoping to talk with you. We could buy you dinner." Elissa noted the surprise, then the poorly-concealed interest in his eyes at the mention of a free meal. He seemed to think for a minute, then shrugged as if he didn't care.

"Name's Ragnar. I guess I could talk." He eyed them suspiciously then. "I don't _owe_ you anything for the food, though."

"What?" Nathaniel's startled question caught the dwarf's attention. "Of course you don't!" Nathaniel sounded offended. Elissa put a hand on his arm to calm him.

"It's all right," she said quietly to Nathaniel, then turned back to Ragnar. "No, you don't owe us anything. We honestly just want to talk to you, nothing more. " _Right, Dust Town. He's probably had favors dangled in front of him in exchange for awful deeds his whole life. _At these words, Ragnar studied her face. After a good long moment, whatever he saw must have satisfied him, because he relaxed just a fraction.

"Where to?"

-0-0-0-

Ragnar was starving.

Elissa watched him pack away as much food as she and Nathaniel could have eaten, uncaring of manners, and he showed no signs of slowing down. He took his bread and sopped up every single last bit of gravy from his plate, making sure to get _everything_, before finishing the bread and taking a huge swig from his mug of ale. It was clear that he wasn't expecting to eat again for quite some time. He looked eagerly at the table, his distrust momentarily forgotten with the prospect of a full belly right in front of him. He sighed when he saw there was nothing left. Bemused, Elissa waved over the waitress and asked her to bring seconds of everything that they had ordered. _He can take the leftovers home __with him tonight._ Ragnar said nothing as she ordered, but there was a light in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

Since there was no food on the table, Ragnar decided to finally say something. "So," he started, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her, "what do a couple of surfacers care about a casteless?" The distrust was back in his voice and eyes.

"My name is Elissa, and this is Nathaniel. We're Grey Wardens." At this, the dwarf sat up straighter and some of the suspicion left his eyes, replaced with an assessing gaze directed at both of them.

"Huh." And that was apparently all he had to say about the subject.

Elissa looked at Nathaniel then. He shrugged at her, just as perplexed as she was. _I guess we'll have to do all the talking then._ She turned back to Ragnar. "We saw you fight today, as you already know, and we were impressed with your talent. We were wondering if you would be interested in becoming a Grey Warden."

Ragnar's eyes opened wide. He sat, stock still. Then, a look of hope took over his face, but only for a moment. Then he looked down at the table, and his shoulders slumped just a fraction. "I can't." It looked like it cost him a lot to say that.

"All right, I won't force you." Elissa was disappointed, but it was his decision, after all. "Is it because you'd have to leave Orzammar?"

He looked at her incredulously and barked out a sharp laugh. "You gotta be kidding me. Have you ever _seen_ Dust Town? If I never saw it again, it'd be too soon." He shook his head then lowered it. "I got a sister. If I leave her, somebody will be trying to whore her out within the week." He started to get up. "Thanks for the offer though. Guess I should stop wasting your time." His voice sounded bitter.

"Wait," Elissa said. "Stay and eat your dinner. You can take any leftovers back to her, at least." He stared at her a good long moment, then sat back down, again with a single nod in thanks. She leaned forward. "I have been to Dust Town, but not for a while. Is it any better now that Jarvia's gone?"

Ragnar's eyes widened as he stared at her. "Wait." He was thinking. "Grey Warden … Elissa … You know about Jarvia?" Elissa nodded in response. "By the Stone! You're _her_! The one who came through and got rid of the Carta and then put Bhelen on the throne!" Elissa nodded again, at which Ragnar actually laughed, and then shook his head. "Well, I'll be." He chuckled to himself. "Wait'll I tell Erna."

"Is Erna your sister?" Elissa asked.

Ragnar nodded. "Yeah." He shrugged. "Jarvia was trying to get her hands on Erna when you came through here." He didn't need to fill in the details. Elissa remembered Jarvia's attitude all too well, her voice echoing in Elissa's mind. _Leave the pretty one alive. I got _plans_ for her._ She nodded her head to show she understood.

She looked at Nathaniel then, as she had an idea. Nathaniel was watching her to see what she would do, but it looked like he wanted to help. She nodded at him, then turned back to Ragnar. "Is your sister able to walk? Is she capable?"

Ragnar looked like he was trying to figure out what she was getting at. "Yeah," he said cautiously.

"You know, the Grey Wardens have a keep now. We're always looking for able bodies to work for us at the keep – servants, cooks, that sort of thing. If you think she would be interested, we could bring her along too. We don't normally do this, but ..." Elissa shrugged. "I'd be willing to get her training to do something to earn her keep. Something that would allow her to keep her dignity."

Ragnar sat across from them, stunned. He didn't even notice when the waitress came back, steaming plates in hand, and put them down on the table. "You," he blinked, "you would do that?" He changed his tone, sneering. "I don't want _charity_."

Elissa laughed. "Charity? I should think not." She leaned forward. "This isn't charity. This is a business deal. We want your skills as a Grey Warden and are asking you to go to the surface. In exchange, we offer you both a home and a place where you can earn an honest wage. Being a Grey Warden is not easy, even when there isn't a blight."

Ragnar considered this. "There are no old Grey Wardens, are there?" he muttered to himself. "I've never seen one." He looked at her again, calculating. "I figure we got a couple more years in Dust Town at most before someone kills us or we get sick. It might be worth a shot."

"Take tonight and talk to your sister. Think on it." Elissa waved the waitress over and asked her to wrap up the uneaten food and give it to Ragnar. "Take this home to your sister so she can eat. If you both decide you want to do this, we'll be at the Shaper's ceremony for Kal'Hirol tomorrow before we leave. You can meet us there and let us know." She rose from the table and Nathaniel got up as well. "Either way, we wish you luck."

She turned around one last time, just before she and Nathaniel left the tavern. Ragnar was still sitting there, completely still. "I think you surprised him," Nathaniel murmured in her ear. "Do you think we'll see him tomorrow?"

"I don't know," Elissa admitted. "Even though the casteless have a horrible existence here, it's a major decision to leave your entire life behind. I hope so, for both their sakes." She looked up at Nathaniel, who was smiling at her as he put a hand on the small of her back to guide her through the door.

"Time to go to the palace?" he asked, his eyes studying her intently. "We have the evening free, and I would like to spend it with a remarkable woman I know. Alone." She shivered at the way his voice deepened at the word _alone_, and his smile grew. He opened the door for her and escorted her out into the commons.


	12. Leaving Orzammar

The ceremony was finally over. Elissa smiled and shook hands with the Shapers, thanking them for inviting her and the other Wardens to their celebration of their people, then turned to collect the rest of their group. It was time to see if Ragnar and his sister had joined them and then leave. Elissa was more than ready.

Nathaniel was already scanning the crowd. "Do you see them yet?" she asked him as she waved over Eleanor and Eric, who had not been at the podium for the ceremony like the four Wardens had been and instead had been part of the crowd.

"Not yet. Should we wait?"

Elissa thought a moment. "Let's allow the crowd to disperse, so we don't miss them if they're here. They can certainly see us, even if we don't see them, so we'll give them the chance to find us." With that, Nathaniel nodded and they both began gathering their belongings that they had already packed. The others followed suit.

"Elissa, do you have a moment?" Elissa blinked at the familiar yet unexpected voice. She turned her head to see Alistair standing behind her, looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Certainly, Alistair. I'll be right there." She turned to Nathaniel, who was looking at her with a carefully neutral expression on his face. He straightened as she walked up to him and put her hand on his arm, sliding her hand from his elbow down to his hand. He squeezed her fingers as she said, "I'll be just a minute," and smiled at him.

He took the opportunity to lift her fingers to his lips. The gesture may have been chivalrous, but the intention in his eyes overrode any sense of propriety. "I will wait here for you," he murmured, his breath tickling her knuckles and making her breath catch. She felt her face warm and he smiled wickedly, knowing the effect he was having on her. Suddenly she really, _really_ wanted to get out of Orzammar and back on the road.

She let go of Nathaniel's hand reluctantly and turned to Alistair. "What can I do for you?" He indicated a quiet spot a few feet away and they both walked there, then he turned to face her. He looked at her for a moment before saying anything.

"I … I understand you're leaving Orzammar now," he said. She couldn't tell if he sounded disappointed or relieved. Maybe it was both. "I just wanted to … say goodbye." Elissa nodded, waiting for him to continue. He ran a nervous hand through his hair and looked at the ground. "I have to admit, I'm jealous. It probably sounds stupid, but I didn't expect you to move on so soon."

Elissa raised an eyebrow. "Alistair." She made sure to make her voice sound firm. "You left me over a year ago. It's not like it happened last week." He flinched at this and his face reddened.

"I know." He sounded miserable. "I do, really. It's just … well, a part of me thought ..." He sighed. "It doesn't matter, does it?"

Elissa rubbed her forehead. "No, it really doesn't." She watched Alistair flinch again. "I'm not trying to be difficult, but you couldn't honestly expect me to sit by, knowing you were going to marry someone else, and wait for you. I'd like to think that you respect me more than that." She sighed, then. "For what it's worth, it took a lot for me to move on." She shrugged.

After a long minute, Alistair finally looked up at her. "I just have one question," he began hesitantly. "Do you think, if things had been different, that we would still … ?"

Elissa closed her eyes. _Don't do this to yourself, Alistair._ She tried to think of a way to say what she needed to say without being too harsh, then opened her eyes and looked directly at him. "I … I don't think so," she tried to say as gently as she could. Alistair's eyes went wide with surprise. "You're a good man, Alistair. And in a lot of ways we _were_ good together. But ..."

"But?"

Elissa sighed. "But we both did a lot of growing up. And if I'm being completely honest with myself, I was never who you thought I was. I tried really hard to be what you wanted, but ..." she shrugged again. "That particular pedestal was getting to be very lonely."

"What?" Alistair looked at her in disbelief. "I didn't … I would never!"

"You did. You didn't realize it, of course. And I don't blame you. But there were decisions that I would have made differently if I wasn't trying to do what you wanted."

Alistair raised an eyebrow. "Such as?"

Elissa debated internally for a moment. She decided she might as well say it. "Loghain."

His eyes got wide. He gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing. Elissa thought he did a rather impressive imitation of a fish out of water. _"What?"_

She shrugged. "Granted, a lot of what I thought was going on was confirmed later. But even at the time, I suspected that a lot of things that were attached to his name were actually Rendon's doing." Alistair looked really angry and started to speak, but she continued on. "Rendon was framing Loghain for most of those awful things, Alistair. Loghain was, in a way, too stubborn and honorable to shift the blame placed on him. He made _terrible_ judgment calls and trusted the wrong people, so he wasn't innocent, but ..." She looked down. "Hindsight is always easier, of course, but I was tempted even then to spare him and give him a chance to redeem himself." She continued to study the floor.

It took a little while before she heard Alistair's voice again. "I … you … _really?_" She watched his feet shuffle. "I guess I didn't really know you, if you were even willing to consider that." He sounded hurt and more than a little angry.

Elissa looked up at him then. The condemnation in his eyes spoke volumes. She felt the corners of her mouth turning down even as she nodded in resignation. "That's what I thought." She turned to go. "Not that it means much, but I _am_ sorry that I turned out to be a disappointment to you." She walked away, not bothering to look back. She already knew what she would see.

Nathaniel watched her return to him, handing over her pack and staying silent until she had fastened the straps. "Normally I would thank you for taking attention away from me," he said gently, "but in this case, I'm not sure if the alternative is a good thing." His eyes searched hers. "Do we need to leave Ferelden?"

At this, she half-laughed. "I don't think so. I haven't angered the Dalish yet." He smiled a little at that as she changed the subject. "Did Ragnar and his sister show up?"

Nathaniel nodded his head toward where the rest of their group was standing. Ragnar was indeed there and seemed to be watching the others as they chatted. Standing beside him was a very pretty dwarf, who looked a little younger than Elissa, with medium brown hair pulled into a single braid down her back. Ragnar looked toward Elissa and acknowledged her with a nod. She nodded back, and he said something to the other dwarf and they walked over to where Elissa and Nathaniel were standing.

Elissa composed herself as they walked over and spoke first. "I'm glad you decided to come with us." She turned to the pretty dwarf. "You must be Erna. I'm Elissa." She put out a hand for Erna to shake. Erna looked up at her with surprise, gingerly taking Elissa's hand and greeting her in kind.

"Yes." Her voice was much stronger than Elissa would have imagined, based on her delicate appearance. "Thank you for this. It means a lot to me and my brother." Ragnar just grunted and shifted his feet.

Elissa smiled at Erna. "The pleasure is mine. Are you ready to go?" She looked over both dwarves. Ragnar was wearing his armor, such as it was, and had his sword and shield slung over his back. He was carrying a small satchel. Erna was wearing a threadbare dress that was patched in several places and looked like it might fall apart at the seams. She had nothing to carry.

Erna spoke again. "Yes." Out of the corner of her eye, Elissa saw Nathaniel draw in a surprised breath. At that, Erna looked down a little as if shamed, and Ragnar looked up at Nathaniel, challenge written on his face. "We don't have anything else we can bring." Erna said it as if she was apologizing for being poor.

Elissa nodded. "That's not a problem. I was planning on getting you what you needed." Erna relaxed a bit, and Ragnar looked at Elissa in surprise. "The first thing we need to do, then, is get you two some cloaks. It's cold in the mountains and you wouldn't have needed cloaks in the city. We'll need tents and bedrolls too, but I think we can get those from the surface merchants. Nathaniel, would you mind taking Oghren with you to help Ragnar find some new armor?" Nathaniel nodded even as Ragnar started to protest. Elissa held up a hand. "It's all right. This is _not_ charity. You're going to be a Grey Warden, and as such, it's my job to equip you. Right?" Ragnar shuffled his feet and mumbled something that sounded like reluctant agreement. "Erna needs cold weather clothing also, so she and I will see to that." She didn't wait for an answer, instead choosing to stride over to the rest of their companions. She let them know of their shopping plans and everyone split off into groups to get their newest additions equipped for travel.


	13. On the Road Again

Zevran's messenger found them three days after they had left Orzammar. The horse came galloping toward them at full speed, slowing only when it got close. The man dismounted after looking Elissa and the rest of the group over, then handed Elissa a note. She turned it over to note the seal, and smiled when she saw the black wax. The seal depicted a wolf's head with a pair of daggers crossed in the background. _Very nice, Zev._ "From Ser Wolfe?" The messenger nodded and she broke the seal.

_My lovely Warden,_

_I have good news and bad news. (It is always thus, is it not? Ah, well, this should be no surprise.) First, the good news. Denerim is lovely this time of year and so is the Bannorn, or so my friends say. They also say that Highever is recovering quite well, and the castle has been fully renovated. Should you so desire, there are many lovely spots to choose from when you next take some time for yourself. Take some time to decide your next vacation, however. You may want to consult with me before making travel plans of that nature._

_Also, there is good news from Amaranthine. Our friend's sister has given birth, and it is a boy. She has chosen to name him Samuel. Everyone is doing splendidly and nobody could be happier or safer. My only regret is that I will not be there when you celebrate this news, as I would gladly join in the festivities. Perhaps you could delay them so that I may participate?_

_No?_

_Such is life. Perhaps another time._

_The bad news can no longer wait, it seems. We have received word that our good friend Bann Loren has unexpectedly passed away. It is a shame, as he seemed to be in the greatest of health. Too many men are taken from this world in their prime. My friends do not know what caused the Bann to fall ill, alas. I am sure they would have told me if they had known. The other lords have said nothing on the matter, so we do not know if this is a singular case or the beginning of an epidemic. _

_My friends have been strangely silent on the happenings in other places. It is too bad. Good gossip is hard to come by these days. I will write to you when I have more news._

_Z._

Elissa folded the note back up and thanked the messenger, giving him a sovereign. "I have no response. Thank you for delivering this so quickly." The messenger nodded and mounted his horse, then turned back around and galloped off.

"It's getting late. Let's make camp once we find a good spot." The others agreed, especially Eleanor who had suddenly started showing the day before and looked very tired. It didn't take long to set up camp and start a fire.

This night was Elissa's night off from chores – it was Eleanor's turn to cook (much to everyone's dismay – how an apostate who had been living alone most of her life could manage to avoid ever learning how to cook was a complete mystery), Nathaniel was taking care of hunting for food and had taken Ragnar with him, Anders and Erna had gotten firewood, and Oghren was keeping first watch. Eric also had the evening free. Once the tents were set up, she was free to sit and watch the others.

Eleanor had gotten quieter, Elissa realized. Instead of relaxing and opening up over time, it seemed that Eleanor was keeping more to herself. Elissa supposed it could have been because of the baby. She watched Eleanor rub her suddenly-round belly and wondered at Eleanor's painful shyness for what was probably the hundredth time. She seemed like a nice woman, for what little Elissa knew of her, and not at all what Elissa would have expected from a mercenary. _Speaking of which …_

Elissa walked over to Eleanor and crouched by where the quiet mage was sitting. "When are you supposed to report in to your contact?" she asked quietly. "It's been a while since you were with us, and you haven't sent word yet, right?"

Eleanor kept her head down, although Elissa could make out that she was blushing since her ears were turning red. "Well … I … there's not a set time for me to report. I'm just … I'm just supposed to send word when something interesting happens."

Elissa raised an eyebrow at this. "All right," she finally said. "As long as you're not raising suspicion for your contact, unless that's what you want."

Eleanor looked up at Elissa, startled. Her expression was conflicted. "All," she swallowed audibly, "all right … then." She looked back down. Elissa sat with her another moment before deciding that she wasn't going to get any more information from Eleanor and returned to her place by the fire. She resisted shaking her head. _What an odd girl._

She was drawn from her musings by Nathaniel and Ragnar's return. Between the two of them, they carried several rabbits. She smiled at them. "It looks like we'll be eating well tonight," she observed.

Nathaniel knelt as he piled the rabbits near the fire and started cleaning the first one. "Hunting was good," he agreed. "Ragnar helped flush them out." He looked up at Ragnar, who was still standing, and smiled at him. The dwarf shifted from one foot to the other and looked down at the ground, choosing to stay silent.

"Good job." Elissa smiled at Ragnar, who looked up at her and shrugged, although he looked pleased.

"I've hunted nugs before," he said by way of explanation, then fell silent as he sat down and watched Nathaniel skin the rabbit. After watching Nathaniel prepare the first animal, he picked up one to work on. Nathaniel shifted over so that he could show Ragnar what he was doing better. The two worked in silence, broken only occasionally by Nathaniel pointing to something he was working on and showing Ragnar how to do the same. In no time, the rabbits were all cleaned and ready to cook. Eleanor started tending to them over the fire.

Since everyone was assembled around the fire, save Oghren, Elissa pulled out the letter from Zevran. "While Eleanor is cooking, I have some Warden business to discuss." She got up, as did Nathaniel and Anders. "Eric, please feel free to join us. You were part of our last discussion." Eric nodded and rose to his feet. "And Ragnar, you can join us too, if you'd like." Ragnar again looked pleased and stood up, trotting over to where the rest of them stood. She addressed the two women still by the fire. "We'll be right back," she said apologetically. Erna waved her off, smiling at her, and Eleanor nodded once before watching the fire some more.

Elissa walked over to where Oghren was keeping watch and the men followed her. Once she reached Oghren, she turned and spoke in a low voice. "I got word from Zev today."

"Who's Zev?" Ragnar looked at Elissa curiously.

"Zevran is one of my best friends from during the blight," Elissa answered. She put a hand on Oghren's shoulder as she continued. "He and Oghren were part of the group that helped Alistair and me gather allies for the battle against the Archdemon and they have both been with us ever since." Ragnar nodded, but his expression went still when he saw Elissa put her hand on Oghren. Oghren, who was still facing away from the fire, muttered something under his breath about "that damn elf" and Elissa smiled. "Anyway, Zev has been doing some scouting work for us on some issues we've been having on the surface."

"What has he found out so far?" Eric leaned forward, his expression intense. "Has he heard any word about who Eleanor's contact is?"

Elissa shook her head. "Nothing yet," she said, "but it looks like he has contacts placed and is trying to collect information." She opened the note and translated Zevran's basic coding for the rest of the group. "He has contacts stationed in Denerim, Highever, and in the Bannorn. It looks like he managed to get people into Cousland Castle as well. I'm assuming that's to keep an eye out in case Fergus is directly attacked. He doesn't seem to think there's any immediate threat, but he may have heard some rumors about plans. He wants to talk about them in person.

"Bann Loren was killed. I think, from what Zev wrote, it was poison, but nobody's sure." At this, Anders' eyes went wide and Eric gasped. "It was _not_ one of Zev's people though."

Nathaniel nodded grimly. "Someone was covering up their tracks, perhaps. They probably didn't want Bann Loren to tell what he knew."

"That's my guess, but I'm sure we'll hear more eventually. So far none of the other nobles have indicated they were involved, and we don't know if there will be other assassinations." Elissa sighed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "He hasn't heard anything else yet, but he's paying attention. He'll contact me when he learns something new."

Ragnar had been quietly watching her talk. "Who are these people?"

Oghren turned around. "Stand watch with me, kid. I'll fill you in while we wait for food." Ragnar bristled at Oghren's use of the word _kid_ but held his tongue and nodded at the older dwarf.

"That's it for now. I'm sure we'll hear something new soon. Thanks, everyone." The men dispersed, Anders and Eric going back to the fire, and Oghren and Ragnar standing watch. Oghren was talking quietly to the younger dwarf already, and every so often Ragnar would nod his head. That left Elissa and Nathaniel standing together. She smiled at him. "Walk with me a moment."

Nathaniel smiled back and linked his fingers with hers. "Certainly, my lady." They walked together, neither saying anything, simply enjoying the silence. When they knew they were not likely to be overheard, he stopped and turned to face her again. He waited for her to speak.

Elissa didn't wait any longer. "Congratulations," she said. "You're an uncle. It's a boy." She watched his face break out into a huge smile. "Everyone is doing really well, and Delilah named the baby Samuel."

"After our groundskeeper," Nathaniel mused. "It's a good name. Samuel was a good man, and he would have been honored. He took good care of us." He squeezed Elissa's hand. "I'll have to thank Zevran for looking into that."

Elissa nodded. "I think Zev might have a couple of his men posted to guard Delilah and her family. I wish I'd thought of it myself." She sighed. "Hopefully he's being overly cautious. Still, it's better to be safe." She noted Nathaniel's frown and then remembered the last bit from Zev's note. "Oh, and Zev tried to invite himself to our tent to help us celebrate your nephew's birth. He said something about 'joining in the festivities' when he comes back to us."

Nathaniel's frown disappeared and he shook his head, chuckling quietly. "I suppose he figures it doesn't hurt to try," he said, his voice growing deeper. He rested his forehead against hers. "But I'm not willing to share." Elissa smiled even as she tilted her head up to kiss him.

They spent several pleasant minutes together away from the camp, then Elissa's stomach growled, signaling that it was time to eat. When they returned to camp, they saw everyone but Oghren sitting around the fire. Eleanor handed out roasted meat that formerly could have been called rabbit, but somehow was charred on one end and underdone on the other. Elissa sighed. At least it wouldn't be Eleanor's turn to cook again for a while.

-0-0-0-

"So," Anders began, a smile on his face as he looked over at Elissa. "I was wondering about something."

They were all sitting around the fire, their bellies filled with as much char-rabbit as they could stand, talking before it was time to go to sleep. Ragnar had taken watch, so Oghren was sitting with them and eating his share of the questionably prepared meal.

"What about?" Elissa didn't trust the look of mischief in Anders' eyes.

"Well, it's about Lady Alfstanna."

"Yes?" Elissa raised an eyebrow.

Anders ignored Elissa's expression and continued. "So, she was raised as a noble, right?"

Elissa nodded. "Of course."

"And she's a master archer?"

Elissa nodded again.

"She's used to being in charge?"

Another nod. Elissa started to see where Anders was going with this. The others started listening more closely.

Anders grinned widely now. "And she's got those gorgeous green eyes, a long slender neck, and long legs that won't quit?"

Elissa blinked. She didn't quite know how to respond to that. "Uh ..."

"And a great rack!" Oghren supplied helpfully as he washed down the terrible food with something from his flagon. Elissa put her head in her hands and groaned. Oghren apparently misinterpreted what she was groaning about. "Don't you worry about that, Elissa. You have a _much_ nicer ass."

Erna put a hand to her mouth, unsuccessfully trying to stifle a laugh. Eric just stared for a moment, before shaking his head and chuckling to himself. Nathaniel put an arm around Elissa. She could feel him shaking. She looked up to see his eyes full of mirth and his mouth fighting to _not_ smile. She looked over at Eleanor, whose eyes were as wide as saucers.

"I guess we know what King Alistair's 'type' is!" Anders openly snickered.

Elissa made a mental note to murder Anders. Painfully. And slowly.


	14. Around Lake Calenhad

A/N: There is NSFW material in this chapter.

(Hope it's not too cheesy!)

-0-0-0-

She couldn't sleep.

She tried to at least lie still so that she wouldn't keep Nathaniel awake, but her mind simply refused to shut down. The farther they had gotten away from Orzammar over the past two weeks, the more she thought about how much _closer_ they were to Highever. And Denerim. And maybe even Amaranthine. _I'm going to have to face all the angry people eventually._ Should they try to go to Redcliffe first? No, Teagan wasn't angry with her. Well, not _yet_, anyhow. What about...?

Elissa shook her head slightly. Any more motion might rouse Nathaniel and he had been extremely tired when he went to bed. She took in a long breath and let it out slowly, willing her body to relax a little, and let her eyes wander over her sleeping companion.

There was a small amount of light in the tent, let through from the campfire outside. As a result, everything was in shades of gray, no actual color manifesting, shadows alone defining the shapes within their sleeping space. Nathaniel didn't look much different than he did in broad daylight, since he physically embodied contrasts. His skin was as pale as the moonlight, even after spending countless hours in the sun, and his hair was as dark as jet. The main difference was that his face was at full rest, serene in its appearance, and his lips were slightly parted as he slept deeply. Elissa studied his face as he slept. _There is the sleep of a man with a clear conscience. _She smiled to herself as she took in the high cheekbones, the strong jaw, and the slightly hooked nose. They were nearly overbalanced by the delicate eyebrows and full lips. These last features were more desirable for a woman, and she knew that Nathaniel thought they made him look odd, but he didn't have the pleasure of watching himself use those brows and lips to broadcast his emotions. He was so _expressive_ while still being undeniably male that Elissa frequently found herself watching him out of fascination. She wondered idly if she should tell him that keeping that small bit of beard just under his lip only emphasized the fullness of his mouth, then decided against it. She really _liked_ his mouth.

The night was warm, even for springtime, and so their blanket had slipped down to their hips without either of them noticing. Nathaniel was laying on his side facing her, one arm under his head and the other laying against the side of his body. His muscles seemed even more defined by the shadows cast in the tent, his unconscious strength obvious on sight. He had a very square build instead of extremely broad shoulders tapering to the narrow waist and hips that so many men strove for, but it suited him. He was _solid_. Elissa marveled, not for the first time, at how silently he could move given his size. He looked like he should be swinging a broadsword around instead of scouting in the shadows.

Suddenly, Nathaniel's breath sped up. Elissa looked back to his face to see his brows knitted and his mouth moving as he started to pant. _Is he having a darkspawn dream, after all this time? He doesn't usually have nightmares, unless I sleep through them._ She lay there, undecided whether she should wake him or not, when he flung himself onto his back in his sleep. His chest was heaving and his head tilted back. She got up on one elbow, intending to wake him, when she noticed the blanket had slid down farther to reveal … oh _my._

_I don't think it's exactly a nightmare._

She looked back at his face for only a moment. He was still panting heavily, the hand that was now above his head opening and closing rapidly. She couldn't resist looking back down at … _whoah._ It was _twitching. _ Rhythmically.

_Do I wake him?_ She had never been confronted with … _this_ … before.

Soon, the decision was made for her. His whole body tensed and his head snapped back farther as he groaned quietly before whispering, "'Lissa..." Her eyes widened as she saw his erection pulse. It emptied in waves, creating an impressive mess on his stomach and chest. He remained tense for a moment longer, then suddenly his entire body relaxed completely and he lay still as he let out an unconscious sigh. His eyes had remained closed the entire time.

Elissa's first response was to _giggle._ She hurriedly clamped a hand over her mouth as she forced the surprised sound back, afraid to wake Nathaniel after his … uh … nocturnal adventure. _He must be tired, after all._ This thought did _not_ help her repress the inclination to release her mirth. Her face was burning, although she couldn't tell whether it was from excitement or embarrassment. She only knew that she was definitely _not_ going to be able to sleep after seeing that. She felt warm and tingly all over and suddenly the thought of a cold bath seemed like a very, very good idea.

She looked over the clothes that had been discarded when they went to bed and noticed Nathaniel had left his tunic out. She decided to borrow the shirt, since it was significantly longer than hers. She could wear it almost like a short dress, although she had to roll up the sleeves to have use of her hands. She quickly dragged her boots on, then used her own shirt to gently clean off Nathaniel's torso. He slept right through it all, his body and face radiating peace yet again in his slumber. Elissa looked down at him and an unexpected surge of affection made her smile as she took her soiled shirt and her pack and made her way out of the tent.

The sky itself was gray, the air completely still in its pre-dawn state. The fire was still burning, thanks to the efforts of the night watches, although the weather was warm enough that it wasn't truly necessary. Still, that meant not having to start it up again when they got ready to cook breakfast. Speaking of which, it was Elissa's turn to make the food. She figured she still had a couple of hours before the rest of the camp awoke, and there was nothing to cook yet anyway. Nathaniel was going to be hunting again that morning and he was obviously not up yet.

_If I wash the shirt first, it will probably dry before we have to get dressed to leave. _That decision made, she nodded to herself and made her way across the camp where Eric was standing watch. She stood next to him for a minute as he faced out from the camp, keeping a watchful eye on the treeline.

"You're awake early," he said quietly.

"I couldn't sleep. I figured I might as well get cleaned up before the day started." Elissa hoped Eric didn't notice her sudden blush when she mentally visualized the reason she was out of her tent already. She changed the subject. "How are you getting along these days?"

Eric smiled briefly. "I'm doing well. Anders has been much more comfortable, I think, since I got rid of the templar plate. We've tried to make an effort to talk regularly as well. He's a good man."

Elissa smiled. She had thought that Eric and Anders seemed to be getting along better, and it was good to have her observations confirmed. "I'm glad. You both are good men." He nodded in thanks and stood quietly for another moment before he cleared his throat.

"Will we be passing by a Chantry soon?" His voice was hesitant. "I need to … replenish some templar supplies." His brows furrowed a little.

"I was planning on going to the Circle Tower next, since we have time. Will that work?" Elissa asked, looking at Eric questioningly before she realized what templar _supplies_ he needed. "Maker's Breath! I forgot about that!" She fully turned to face Eric. "Listen, we salvaged all the lyrium potions from the other templars. They're in Anders' pack. I completely forgot you would have a need for them." She felt bad. "Are you all right now? Do we need to go wake him up?"

Eric looked relieved and let out a long breath. He looked sideways at her, his eyebrows raised. "You know about that? That helps quite a bit." He closed his eyes and took another large breath. "I used my last potion last night. I try to use as little as possible, so I would have been all right for a couple of days before withdrawal would have started to set in. But this is a _huge_ relief." He shifted his feet for a second before catching himself and standing still again. "We don't need to wake Anders. I'll be fine until he wakes up."

Elissa nodded. "All right, then. Well, I'm going to head over to the lake and get washed." He nodded in acknowledgment and she set off for the lake.

There was a small section of woods between the camp clearing and the shore of Lake Calenhad. Elissa quickly made her way over and set up her bathing supplies before taking off her boots and wading into the lake up to her knees. She quickly scrubbed her shirt, then wrung it out and looked for a good place to hang it to let it dry. One of the trees nearby, a sturdy oak, had a number of horizontal branches that jutted out from the trunk just above her head. She smiled and straightened out the cloth before hanging it on one of the thinner branches, making sure to smooth the fabric so that it wouldn't wrinkle too badly. She had just finished this task when she heard footsteps approaching, quiet ones. She turned to see Nathaniel, wearing nothing more than his breeches and boots, walking over to where she was standing. Somehow she avoided drooling outright at the sight, because the view had suddenly improved _tremendously_.

"Ah, there's my shirt," he said conversationally. "That explains why I couldn't find it in our tent." _Mmm, our tent. I like the sound of that._ He walked the rest of the way to her before continuing. "You're up early."

"I couldn't sleep. I was thinking too much." Suddenly, Elissa sighed in frustration as she leaned back against the tree trunk, crossing her arms in front of her while she tilted her head back and closed her eyes. "I'm worried about having to face my brother and Alistair again. Not to mention we still have to figure out who is after us besides Vaughan, and get proof of Vaughan's plots." She sighed. "I wonder who else will be angry with us in the near future?"

She felt Nathaniel's hand on her cheek, and opened her eyes to see him leaning over her. "You should wake me up next time," he said seriously. "I would have been happy to talk about it." He shifted his hand so that it was cupping the side of her neck and started to stroke the line of her jaw with his thumb. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his thumb stroking her skin and the warmth of his nearness, before opening her eyes again and answering.

"Well, I might have," she said, trying not to smile and failing miserably. "But you were having such a _nice_ dream that I didn't want to take you away from it." She grinned wickedly as his eyes widened and he blushed. He looked at her, then noticed the shirt drying on the tree branch near their heads, then looked back down again at her face. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers, his cheeks now tinged pink, and chuckled wryly.

"I … see," he said. He sighed. "I haven't done that in years. Thanks for … cleaning up."

She laughed quietly. "It was my pleasure." She wrapped her arms around his waist then and pulled him closer so that he was pressed against her. "Did you have a good time?" She smirked at him as he leaned his head back and studied her face.

It took a moment before a predatory smile slowly stretched across his face. She shivered at the look, her entire body suddenly alert and her senses tingling. "You tell me," he murmured, and took sudden possession of her lips. The kiss was demanding; her head reeled and she felt like her entire body had burst into flame. Her knees buckled underneath her and she would have fallen, except that Nathaniel had her pinned to the tree. She scratched at his back as he grabbed her bottom, grinding his hips against hers, and somehow everything felt _hotter._ She gasped at the sensations of his coarse breeches pushing against her thighs, the roughness of the tree bark pushing through the shirt on her back, and Nathaniel's mouth devouring hers with a ferocity she had never felt before.

Suddenly, Nathaniel broke away from her, causing her to moan in disappointment until she realized he was fumbling with the laces of his breeches. "Need you," he gasped as he finally got his fingers to work and shoved the offending garment out of the way, grabbing her and pushing her back against the tree they were using for support. He grabbed her bottom again and she responded by throwing her legs around his hips and her arms over his shoulders, whimpering as he teased her by rocking against her harshly.

"Hurry!" she moaned, and he obliged by shifting his hips slightly, filling her swiftly and completely on his next thrust. They both groaned at the sensation before he took possession of her mouth again and started to _really_ move. _Oh, yes. Yes. Ohyesyesyesyes__..._

When her sanity returned, they were collapsed together at the base of the tree. Nathaniel was half-kneeling, half-sitting, and she was in his lap with her legs still wrapped around him. His head was resting on her shoulder and his arms were around her waist. Likewise, she still had her arms around his neck and was leaning on him. She was having trouble breathing and it looked like he was too. She was trembling, or was that him? Maybe they both were. She couldn't really tell.

After they both managed to somewhat catch their breath, Nathaniel lifted his head and smiled at her. _Well, aren't _we_ all sorts of pleased with ourselves?_ Elissa grinned back at him and murmured, "I'm surprised the tree hasn't caught on fire." Nathaniel laughed.

"We'll have to try harder next time." His smile widened as she shivered at the words _next time_. He gave her one last, long kiss and helped her up, doing his best to keep her swaying to a minimum as he righted himself to pull his pants back up. "Let's go clean up and start our day."

After bathing and taking a short swim, they caught and prepared breakfast for everyone. Once the meal was done and the camp packed, they were on their way. Travel that day progressed quickly, for the most part, until they got to the intersection of the North Road and the Imperial Highway. They reached the intersection and Elissa turned right to continue to follow the highway. At this, Anders spoke up. "Aren't we going back to the keep?" He sounded confused.

_That's right. I hadn't said anything to most of them, in case we didn't have time._ Elissa turned around. "We've been making good time traveling, so I thought we could stop by the Circle Tower to recruit." She hurried on before the objections started. "I thought that we could take rooms at the inn on the shore so that whoever doesn't want to go into the tower has a place to stay. And this is a good opportunity for Oghren to visit with Felsi and the baby." Erna nodded and Ragnar shrugged, their travel plans not mattering to them. Anders looked relieved once he heard that he didn't have to go into the Circle Tower and Oghren looked downright pleased at the mention of his family. Eleanor, however, looked petrified. Elissa supposed that was a reasonable response, given that she'd thus far been able to avoid being anywhere near the tower, but she still thought it was a particularly strong reaction. _I'll talk to her once we make camp tonight. Hopefully I can ease her fears a little._ "Anyway, we should probably keep going. There's plenty of daylight left."

-0-0-0-

The next few days saw their normal travel schedule, save that they needed to deal with bandits a couple of times. The groups of highwaymen were disorganized, but alarming in number. Elissa thought that it was probably a sign that the Bannorn was recovering from the blight more slowly than the rest of the country.

Between bandit attacks, the group seemed to be getting along well. Ragnar still didn't speak much, and Elissa guessed that it was just his way, although he seemed to be watching her more. She thought the look on his face during these times was akin to him trying to figure her out. She didn't mind; after all, the entire surface world must have been really strange to him, and she wasn't exactly a _normal_ surfacer. Erna seemed quite comfortable, listening avidly to the others' stories and telling a few of her own at the campfire. She was also able to hold her own when someone in the group tried to sass someone else and gave out as well as she received. Elissa found that she liked her quite a lot.

Eric seemed to continue to get along with everyone very well, but the most marked difference in relationships within the group was between him and Anders. Anders was starting to really relax around the templar and Elissa frequently caught them talking intently about something or another. She guessed that maybe they were comparing notes about the Chantry. Nathaniel, as had been his habit, observed everyone and listened when someone needed to talk, offering advice if asked and teaching the dwarves and Eleanor camping and survival skills where needed.

Eleanor was the only person in the group who seemed to be having issues. She got along with everyone well enough, but she became even more withdrawn than she had been previously and kept nearly constantly to herself. Elissa worried about her, but she didn't know what to do. All attempts to talk to her, whether it be herself, Nathaniel, Anders, or Erna, ultimately failed. Her shyness seemed to be getting exponentially greater every step that they took toward the Circle Tower.

Finally, it was the night before they would reach the Spoiled Princess Inn and the docks that would take them to the Circle Tower. They had set up camp early that day; another group of bandits had attacked them early in the afternoon, and after defeating them too much time had been lost to make it all the way to the inn. Their camp was right on the shore of Lake Calenhad, giving them a beautiful view, so after dinner was over Elissa found a large rock to perch on and just watch the moon reflect on the lake.

She was enjoying the view, just letting her mind wander, when she heard a timid voice ask, "Can I talk to you?" She turned around, and Eleanor was standing there, her hands wringing and her head in its customary lowered position. Elissa blinked. _This is unusual._ She moved over on the rock and indicated that Eleanor should sit next to her, then waited.

Eleanor settled herself in and looked down at her hands before speaking. She said, "You've been nice to me. Thank you."

Elissa was surprised. "It's no problem. I'm glad I could help." She leaned back and watched Eleanor, who straightened her shoulders and raised her head to look Elissa directly in the eye. Elissa started; this was _not_ what she expected from the woman who had been incredibly meek and insecure over the past several weeks. She raised an eyebrow and waited for Eleanor to speak again.

Eleanor sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just that," she said slowly, "before I started traveling with you, I had heard all sorts of things about the Hero of Ferelden. About how she was tough and ruthless when she had to be, but had a soft spot for children and the weak. I never expected you to be so kind to someone like me." Eleanor shrugged. "I mean, you bought all those nice things for me back in Orzammar and you let me be part of your group, and you never asked for anything awful or did anything but make me feel welcome. It's really different than I thought it would be."

"I have to admit, in this case I'm glad to disappoint," Elissa said quietly. "But you've proven that you won't act against us, so why wouldn't I behave that way?"

"You treat mages like they're people. Hardly anybody does that." Here, Eleanor dropped her head again to study her lap, her bravado dissipated. "Most people just swallow what the Chantry says about the dangers of magic and forget that it's also a gift, that it can be useful. I can see why Anders is so faithful to you."

Elissa thought for a moment, then shrugged. She didn't know what to say to that. Eleanor waited a moment, then seeing that no comment was forthcoming, continued.

"I wanted to thank you, but also I wanted to clear the air." Her voice was hesitant again, and quiet. "The life of travel isn't for me. I _hate_ having to fight bandits and deal with all these politics and worry about plots. Your life, frankly, stinks right now."

At this, Elissa laughed. "You'll get no argument from me," she said, amusement lacing her voice.

Eleanor sighed. "I just want to go home."

Elissa sat up, concerned. "Are you sure that's such a good idea, Eleanor? After all, you had to run away from home, and I'm sure there are templars there keeping watch for you."

Eleanor closed her eyes and turned to Elissa. "Not keeping watch _for_ me, exactly. I haven't been honest with you."


	15. The Circle Tower

Elissa's entry into Kinloch Hold was made without fanfare or prior announcement, just as she had intended. She strode into the main hall, herself and the two figures behind her fully cloaked and silent. One of the figures was significantly taller than her and the other shorter; they followed on either side and just behind her. The effect of the entrance of three dark figures was startling to the templars who were guarding the doors, if their suddenly stiffened postures were any indication.

"Who are you? What is your purpose here?" the first templar asked, his voice muffled through his helm. Any attempts at intimidation apparently relied solely on his uniform, for Elissa was able to peer over the top of his helm and his voice lost all power when forced through the heavy metal cover. She chuckled darkly and responded in a low voice, so that the knight in question had to lean forward to hear her.

"I am here to see the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander," she said, using the low tones of her voice, rather than volume, to carry the words. Her hands and arms then emerged from their woolly cocoon, rising to lift the hood of her her cloak from her head and place it gently behind her shoulders as gracefully as only long years of nobility training can accomplish. "I am a friend of both men. My name is Elissa Cousland. I am also known as the Hero of Ferelden and Commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden."

_Sometimes titles do come in handy._

The templar straightened a bit and backed off by a step. "My lady, this is a surprise! What brings you to the Circle Tower?"

Elissa smiled at the mask before her. "I have come to discuss business with your leaders, and to possibly recruit for the Grey Wardens. Please, take me to the First Enchanter."

The helm before her paused, then turned side to side. "I'm afraid that's not possible, my lady. They are in the harrowing chamber at present and may not be free for some time."

Elissa nodded. "Ah, testing an apprentice?" She took the silence as confirmation. "That is fine. We will see ourselves to Irving's study then and we will be content to wait there until they are available." She started to move forward, but the templar continued to block their progress.

"My lady," he started, hesitating yet again, "I do not think -"

"You don't think that they will mind me waiting there? Good, neither do I." And with that, she swept past him, the other two cloaked figures nearly floating behind her, and she made her way to the second floor. The templar who had been left behind was ignored, sputtering in protest.

They entered Irving's study and closed the door before Elissa removed her cloak and the taller of her two companions lowered his hood. "Nice theatrics," Nathaniel observed wryly. "They'll be talking about this for a while."

Elissa grinned before sinking into one of the comfortable chairs in front of the First Enchanter's desk. "I thought it would be nice to put on a show. Besides," she smiled at Nathaniel, "this way they'll be sure to tell Irving and Greagoir that we're here that much faster." She rose when the door knocked, waiting for Nathaniel to don his hood, and opened the door to see a templar standing there. This one wasn't wearing a helm, so she made sure to look him directly in the eye as she addressed him.

"Such hospitality! My companions are _dying_ for their afternoon tea. You'll see to that, won't you?" She flashed the young man her best, most gracious smile and leaned in closer, so that he could smell her rose-scented soap. The templar blushed and looked down, then realized by doing so he was looking at her bosom, and his eyes snapped up again. He tried to compensate by looking somewhere past her ear. She lowered her voice conspiratorially and gazed into the man's eyes as she continued, practically cooing at her unfortunate victim. "If you could put extra cookies with the tea, that would be just _wonderful_," she purred. "They get _so_ grumpy when they run out of cookies." She smiled sweetly at the man and watched his face redden further.

"Y-yes, my lady," the templar stammered, and turned as if in a daze. He took off down the hallway as if a demon was after him. Elissa closed the door after he left her sight and grinned at Nathaniel, even as he shook his head at her in exasperation.

"I had heard that you were persuasive," he grumbled. "But that was laying it on a bit thick, don't you think?" He raised an eyebrow as Elissa laughed quietly. "I mean, that poor boy looked like his head was about to explode."

Elissa smiled at Nathaniel. "Since that was the effect I was hoping for, then I would say that it was a success. I wanted him distracted and gone from the hall." She lowered her voice. "Nobody is guarding the door. It's time to prepare." At that, Nathaniel nodded and hung his cloak, and Elissa's, on a coat rack in the corner of Irving's study. He waved over their other companion, taking the third cloak and hanging that one with the other two. Then the two of them walked to the corner and Elissa watched him cover their companion's form before blending into the shadows. _If I hadn't watched him do that just now, I would never have known where he was._ Elissa turned back to the room's entrance and walked up to the door, listening at it intently before quietly opening it and peeking out. _Good. Nobody is in the hall._ She closed the door and went back to the comfortable chair from before, sitting down with a sigh. _Now, for the wait. Maker, I hate waiting. Let's hope that the display is worth it._

A few minutes later, another knock sounded at the door. Elissa quickly crossed to the door, opening it to find the templar from earlier holding a heavily laden tray. "Thank you," she murmured as she caught the templar's eye again. "You're a lifesaver." The way she said it caused him to blush all over again. "We should be all set." With that, she dismissed the now-flustered young man and closed the door gently in his face. She put the tray on Irving's desk and sat back down to wait.

"Was it necessary to flirt with the boy _again?" _Nathaniel's voice came from his hiding spot. He sounded irritated.

"The more distracted he was, the less likely it would be that he would realize he couldn't see you in the room. I didn't want them to start searching for you." She smiled at the reluctant grumble. "Don't worry, love. I'll make it up to you later." The shadow in the corner fell silent and they resumed their wait.

Ten minutes passed, then twenty. Elissa was starting to consider actually drinking some tea when she heard Irving and Greagoir's voices in the hall. She stood as the door opened. "Good afternoon First Enchanter, Knight-Commander. It is good to see you both." She bowed to them both as they entered, looking around the room.

"Hello, Elissa. I had heard that you had brought a pair of wardens with you," Irving said, his voice just as creaky and wise as she remembered. "Are they not here?"

"Well, they had heard that your library was first rate ..." Elissa shrugged. "I hope you don't mind, First Enchanter."

"Not at all. I am glad that we have something to entertain them." Irving indicated the chair that Elissa had just vacated and she sat. Irving and Greagoir followed in their respective seats.

"I don't like the idea of them walking around without an escort," Greagoir complained, looking at Irving. "I can arrange for one of my men to act as a guide."

"Knight-Commander, I would never bring anyone here who would cause trouble." _Except myself, of course._ "Please rest assured, I am certain that they will cause no harm or allow themselves to be harmed. They understand the responsibilities that a good mage must assume." At these words, Greagoir sat back in his chair a little, although he still maintained his ridiculously upright stance, before reluctantly nodding.

Irving turned back to Elissa after watching the templar commander sit. "What brings you to the Circle Tower? I presume you are looking for new recruits?"

Elissa ignored Greagoir's annoyed huff. "I was hoping to, yes, although I was thinking of coming by in the morning to talk more about Grey Warden recruitment, if you will have me. The business I have with you today concerns one of your mages."

Both Greagoir and Irving leaned forward in their seats. Irving looked on with concern, but Greagoir chose to speak first. "Is there a problem with one of the mages? Is someone who was assigned a post outside the Circle causing problems?"

"Not directly, no." Elissa got up now and paced, acting disturbed. "How much do you gentlemen know about how Grey Wardens live?" She looked to Greagoir when she asked this.

"You seem to be doing very well for yourselves," Greagoir answered. He seemed confused by the change in subject. Irving just sat and watched, a look of concentration on his face. "You have an entire arling now and with the blight over you can focus on living normally."

"It's not as easy as that," Elissa sighed. She stopped her pacing and looked between the two men in the room with her. "I would have assumed that myself, but the reality is not nearly as pleasant. Since the blight, the other Wardens and I have had to deal with many … problems." Irving looked concerned, and Greagoir's face paled slightly. She continued. "Part of my problem is political. I'm still associated with the Cousland name, and there are yet more problems because the Wardens were dragged into the middle of the civil war. I can't count the number of times that people have tried to assassinate me or members of my order here in Ferelden because of political power struggles. Bandits are all over the roads still, and with all the death this country has seen, there are many places where the Veil is incredibly weak or even torn." At this both men's eyes widened. "If it wasn't for the survival skills of my people, we would all have been dead several times over." Greagoir turned white as a sheet at the last statement. _So, she was telling the truth._ "In short, no place in Ferelden is safe for anyone traveling with me."

Greagoir looked nervous. Irving frowned, and cleared his throat. "I am sorry to hear that, but what does this have to do with the Circle of Magi?" He sounded almost convincing.

Elissa crossed her arms and looked from one man to the other. "What I want to know," she said quietly and coldly, "is why you two chose to send Eleanor to spy on me. Except for her magic, she was _completely helpless._"

Irving put his elbows on his desk and rested his head in his hands. Greagoir's face had gone ghost-white and his mouth worked soundlessly for several moments before he finally found his voice. When he did, the sound came out strangled. "_Was?"_ Elissa watched his face twist into a mask of grief and then struggle into a neutral expression, although his eyes looked dull and lifeless. "What," he swallowed hard, "what happened?" Irving kept his head in his hands, but shook his head slightly.

_At least they're not denying it. _Elissa straightened up again. "The templar you had assigned to her, the one who knew your plans, died before we found them. The rest of the templars and Eleanor had been attacked by a group of Antivan Crows and a contingent of Bann Loren's men. As it turned out, some of my brother's forces were there also, and they were the intended target for the attackers, but it didn't keep nearly everyone from dying." Greagoir's eyes closed and he leaned his head back. Elissa went to his chair and leaned on the armrests, putting her face close to his. "Why," she said softly to him, watching his eyes snap open in surprise, "would you do this to your _lover_, Greagoir? Why would you put her in a position where she was doomed to fail? She couldn't hunt or cook for herself, her guardian died so the other templars thought she was an apostate, and if we hadn't found out about her condition, we probably would have killed her ourselves when we found her."

She heard Irving get up, his chair scraping on the stone floor behind her. Greagoir refused to make eye contact with her, although his eyes got impossibly wider at the word 'condition'. He remained silent, however, radiating grief and defeat. "_Lover_?" Irving asked incredulously. _"Condition?" _She heard his footsteps fall behind her until she could see him in her peripheral vision. "Greagoir, what is she talking about?"

Greagoir looked like he wasn't able to talk, so Elissa filled Irving in. "Greagoir and Eleanor are – were – lovers, Irving. I take it you didn't know that?" Irving grunted his assent. "When we found Eleanor, we also found out that she was with child." At these words, Greagoir sprang to his feet. Elissa just barely managed to get out of his way and avoid getting clobbered by his heavy plate. His face was ashen white and he started pacing, his head down in shame. He tore off his gauntlets with trembling hands and dropped them on the floor, uncaring of the heavy clang of metal meeting stone, before rubbing his temples. He turned to Elissa and looked at her with tortured eyes.

"How far along?" he whispered. "How did – when did -" his chin trembled. "Did she suffer?"

_He still loves her. There might be hope, then._

Elissa stared at him for a good long while. "When we found her, she was only a couple of months along." He nodded in reluctant acknowledgement. "She would have only just found out herself. That was about three months ago." Greagoir shuddered. Elissa took a deep breath before continuing. _Here it comes, then._ "I have a problem, though. I need to know what will happen to her if she decides to come back to live at the Circle. I don't want to see her or her baby punished."

Greagoir's eyes snapped to hers. "She's _alive_?" He dropped to his knees. "Thank the Maker! Where is she?" He looked frantic now. "I want to see her." His voice raised in volume.

"Not yet, Greagoir." Elissa purposely made her voice icy. "First I need to know _why_ she was there, and what will happen to her _if_ I return her. I will not abandon her to an execution the way that you abandoned her." She glowered at the kneeling knight, and then to the mage standing beside her. "You two really messed this up. Your actions made her _my_ responsibility and I won't allow you to continue to destroy her life." She crossed her arms as she waited for an answer.

Greagoir rose to his feet and crossed to Elissa, grabbing her elbows with his hands. His grasp was harsh to the point that Elissa thought she might have bruises the next day, but she ignored the pain in favor of glaring at the Knight-Commander. "You can't _do_ that! I demand to see her _now!_" he snarled at her.

"I _can_ and _will_ keep her from you, Greagoir, until I am satisfied that you won't allow her to be hurt or persecuted. I have the Right of Conscription and I will use it if I have to, to keep her away from your machinations." Elissa continued to glare at Greagoir. "You have some explaining to do. Whose idea was it? Why her? What was the _point_ of all this?" She set her jaw stubbornly. "I repeat -what will happen to her and the baby if I decide to return her to you?"


	16. Irving's Study

"_Not keeping watch _for_ me, exactly. I haven't been honest with you."_

_Elissa raised an eyebrow. "Do you care to elaborate?" She didn't like where this conversation was going, but maybe she'd finally learn the truth._

_Eleanor looked down and clasped her hands together. Elissa could see that they were shaking. "The templars wouldn't be keeping watch _for_ me, because they would be keeping watch _over_ me instead." Eleanor refused to look up and meet Elissa's eyes._

"_Over ...?" It took Elissa a moment to realize Eleanor was saying. Then suddenly, it all made sense – why Eleanor didn't know how to hunt or cook, why she had no money and yet had nice shoes, how she managed to know advanced spells and regulate her mana to last a long time, and why she got incredibly _tired_ after walking long distances. "You're from the Circle," Elissa breathed. She got angry then. "Who is behind all this, and why?"_

_Eleanor cringed at the tone of Elissa's voice. "I'm … I'm sorry." Her trembling spread to her entire body. "We didn't know … I had no idea … Maker, you must _hate_ me." She looked miserable and scared and incredibly _alone_._

_Elissa took several deep breaths to try to calm herself before speaking again. "I don't hate you, but I am incredibly angry right now. You _will_ tell me everything that you know so that when I go to the Circle I'll know what I need to do. Do. You. Understand?" She waited for Eleanor, who after a moment gave a brief nod. "Good. What in the Maker's name is going on?" She crossed her arms and waited for Eleanor to start._

"_They … they told me to find you." Eleanor's voice was but a whisper. "I was supposed to join your group. I already told you that, I think." Elissa nodded once, curtly. "What I didn't tell you was that I was supposed to keep an eye on Anders and let them know if he ran away from the Wardens."_

"_So that they could hunt him?" Elissa failed to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "He's no longer the Chantry's concern. Maker's breath!" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Excuse me. Continue, please."_

_Eleanor paused and nodded. "I … they didn't say what they would do if Anders had run away. I think that they would have tried to track him down, yes." She shuddered. "I was also supposed to report back if you had recruited any more apostates or maleficar."_

"_That figures. Who were you supposed to report to?" Elissa narrowed her eyes at Eleanor. "And _why_ would they send a helpless pregnant woman to do this job?"_

_Eleanor cringed at Elissa's comment. "I … I was supposed to report directly to the Knight-Commander, but the First Enchanter knew about it too. I don't know if there was anybody else. And they … they didn't know I was pregnant. I didn't find out until after I'd left the tower." She took another deep breath. "They sent me … because Greagoir … because they trusted me." _

_Elissa raised an eyebrow. There was something that Eleanor wasn't telling her, even with the new information. She was determined to find out what it was. "Well, then, I guess we'll just drop you off at the tower when we go there tomorrow. You said you wanted to go home, and I have enough trouble without dealing with people I don't trust." She started to get up when Eleanor recoiled in horror._

"_Please! Wait! Don't just … _please_." Eleanor's voice dropped off. "He doesn't know about … and I don't know what he'll do ..." Eleanor put her hand on her rapidly expanding belly. "I know the Chantry will take care of my baby. That's probably best. But I don't know what he'll do when he finds out. What they'll do to _him_. Or if he'll even want anything to do with me any more." She started to sob quietly._

_Elissa turned to Eleanor and studied her face. "Who, Eleanor? Who is the father?"_

_Eleanor looked up at Elissa, her face swollen from tears and her expression one of desperation and loneliness. "Greagoir. The Knight-Commander."_

-0-0-0-

Said Knight-Commander was currently engaged in a battle of wills with Elissa. He was glaring at her, his hands still clenched on her elbows. She, in turn, kept her arms crossed and kept her eyes glued to his, making sure that he understood she was _not_ backing down for _any_ reason.

After a good long minute of silent struggle, Irving intervened. "We may as well tell her, Greagoir," he said with a sigh. He sounded resigned. "She knows enough already that she might as well hear the rest." Elissa heard him walk back to his desk, pulling his chair in as he sat. "Come, old friend. Political deception is beneath you."

At these words, Greagoir closed his eyes and sighed a shuddering breath, then let go of Elissa's hands. He slumped into his chair in complete defeat. Elissa nodded and sat back in her seat as well. "Perhaps you should start at the beginning," Elissa said quietly. "I want to know what and who is after me." She grabbed two cookies off the long-forgotten tray and passed one to Greagoir, who accepted it with surprise, before biting into the other one.

Greagoir took a bite of his cookie and chewed it thoughtfully, watching Elissa with an assessing gaze. After swallowing, he nodded. "About six months ago, the Grand Cleric came here to visit," he started. "Her official purpose was to see how the cleanup of the Tower was coming along."

"From Uldred's rebellion?" Elissa asked. Greagoir nodded.

"Yes. It took a while, but we were finally done repairing the Veil and cleaning up the … mess." Elissa nodded to show she understood, and he continued. "She seemed pleased enough about that, so we thought everything was more or less back to normal. But then she asked to speak to me privately." Here he shifted in his seat, leaning forward. "She told us, then, about your unfortunate incident with Rylock."

"That woman was crazy." Elissa raised an eyebrow. "She'd obviously been overdosing on lyrium for far too long. Just looking at her, you could tell that she wasn't in her right mind." Elissa sighed. "She tried to kill all of us, you know."

Greagoir winced. "Yes, that's what the Grand Cleric said. I don't _think _she sent Rylock after you, but it's possible. I wasn't privy to those orders, if there were any. At any rate, she was concerned by Anders' conscription and by the fact that you wouldn't hand him over, regardless of the templar involved."

"You mean she was put out by it," Elissa said archly. "You should know that Anders has been a fantastic Grey Warden. I wouldn't have conscripted him if he hadn't already shown he could handle it."

"Yes, well … the Grand Cleric's concern extended to maleficar and apostates as well. She said that she worried that the Grey Wardens would become an escape for those who were seeking to avoid Chantry justice, and she wanted a watch kept on the order in case of problems." Greagoir shifted uncomfortably then as Elissa growled. "She asked me to send someone who would report back to me. Someone I trusted. That person would tell me if you were recruiting people to spite the Chantry."

Elissa rubbed her forehead tiredly. "Do you really think I would recruit just anybody who came my way? What makes you think I'm that desperate or stupid?" They had no answer to that question. Elissa sighed. "What were you supposed to do with these reports, Greagoir?"

"Nothing, unless you had Wardens leaving once they had joined the order, or if you had someone go out of control." Greagoir sighed. "If you had lost control of your mages and apostates, I was to send a contingent of templars to," here he cleared his throat, "deal with the problem."

"So, assassins wearing templar armor." Elissa tried to keep her temper under control. "I assume that you neglected to tell her that I am perfectly capable of dealing with my _own_ problems?" She kept her voice low as much as she could, which only made it sound more threatening. "How many abominations, blood mages, and demons do you think I've had to kill, _apart_ from when I cleaned out the tower? How many possessed templars were here, Greagoir? Uldred was _both_ possessed _and_ a blood mage!" She stood up and rounded her chair, gripping its back. "How many have _you_ dealt with, Greagoir? I've been on extended trips to the fade – _twice_ – and defeated powerful demons in their own domain, and I'm not even a mage!" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to try to calm herself. When she opened them again, both Greagoir and Irving were watching her intently. "I am _not_ trying to be arrogant, _gentlemen_, but the amount of experience I have, by itself, beats 'experts' who have been imprisoned in a tall tower for most of their lives!" She sighed irritably and covered her eyes with her hands. "Do either of you know how _much_ blood is on my hands? Do you know how much I have to answer to the Maker for already?" She laughed bitterly. "The worst part of the Grand Cleric's plan is that nearly all the templars you sent to find Eleanor and ambush her died. All those lives were lost for _nothing_. I couldn't save them because there were too many people fighting all at once, and your people, Fergus's men, and the Wardens were severely outnumbered. _That_ blood is on your hands, Greagoir, and the Grand Cleric's. I refuse to take responsibility for those deaths."

She turned to Irving, then. "And I suppose you approved Eleanor's release?"

Irving nodded. "Her name came up as a candidate, and knowing she was a strong mage, and dutiful, I let her go."

Elissa sighed. She was getting a headache. "Yes, well … dutiful isn't the top priority for someone who has to follow me. Being able to stay alive is. The darkspawn and bandits and assassins don't care how dutiful someone is when they're hacking that person to pieces." At this, Greagoir shuddered involuntarily again.

"So, is there anything else I should know? Any exalted marches about to show up on my doorstep that I should be aware of?" Elissa looked to Greagoir, who shook his head, and then Irving, who just blinked at her. "So, what about Eleanor? What happens to her if I return her to you?"

"She's in good standing with the Circle," Irving said, his voice sounding tired and a little older than she expected. "I have no issue with her returning to full status and staying here." Elissa nodded then turned to Greagoir.

"What about you, Greagoir? What happens to her? Will she be able to return to her old life here and live in peace?" She crossed her arms in front of her again. "Are you willing to allow her to live the life of a mage, or will your affair with her cause her trouble?"

Greagoir closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. "That depends," he said. "Does anyone else know about my … about us?"

"Only the people in this room know about your relationship, unless you've told someone," Elissa said quietly. _It's not really a lie._ "I swear to you that I will never tell another living soul about it, regardless of what happens here."

Greagoir nodded and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. "If _anyone_ else found out, if word got to the Chantry ..." he shuddered. "They would probably brand her a maleficar and I'd be sent to Aeonar for life. The baby … the Chantry will take the baby and raise it as an orphan. We have no choice." He looked up at Elissa then, and she thought she saw a deep sadness in his eyes. "I don't want her to be hurt. I would _never_ do anything to hurt her."

Looking at him, sitting there as he was, Elissa believed him.

Elissa looked at Irving. "Is this something you would agree to? Will you keep this secret?"

Irving looked at her, then at Greagoir. He smiled at the Knight-Commander, a look of affection creeping onto his wizened face. "I will," he said simply.

Elissa let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. _Good. That was better than I thought it would be._ "All right. That's settled then."

Greagoir looked at Elissa then, hope creeping into his words. "When can I see her?"

"Soon," Elissa replied. "We still need to talk about the Grand Cleric." She sighed. "I don't want you two sending anyone else after me. I _certainly_ don't need her to send another Rylock after me, either. I presume this means that we need to some up with something that will make her happy. Any ideas?"

The three of them fell silent as they thought. Irving looked up after a moment. "You said that _most_ of the templars were killed on the road when they were attacked. How many survivors did you have?"

_Of course!_ Elissa laughed out loud. "It's funny that you should mention that, Irving." She smiled, her face serene for the first time since the older men had entered the study. Both Greagoir and Irving looked at her, surprise written on their faces. "There were two - Ser Taylor and Ser Bryant. In fact, Ser Bryant is still with me." She looked at Greagoir. "Did the Grand Cleric say that she wanted you to send a mage?"

"No. In fact, were it not for … circumstances … unique to templars," and here Greagoir hesitated, but Elissa waved him off.

"I know about the lyrium, Greagoir. I was planning on asking if I could purchase some from you for Ser Bryant anyway."

" … Oh." Greagoir narrowed his eyes as he looked at her before continuing. "Anyway, if it wasn't for the lyrium problem, sending a templar would have been my first choice."

"Then that's settled. I know what we can do." Elissa looked at Greagoir. "I happen to like Ser Bryant quite a lot, and was hoping he would want to continue to travel with us anyway. Assuming he's agreeable to the suggestion, _you_ can tell the Grand Cleric that you have a templar situated with the Grey Wardens. I will _not_, however, allow him or anyone else to babysit and constantly report on me. And we'll need to provide him with a regular supply of lyrium so that he doesn't go through withdrawal. I can procure my own if necessary, but if he's going to be officially sanctioned by the Chantry, I think we can manage to take care of that little detail above board. That is my offer, gentlemen." Elissa crossed her arms again and silently dared Greagoir and Irving to argue with her.

Irving leaned forward and cleared his throat. "This sounds like an excellent compromise, Greagoir," he said gently to his friend. Greagoir leaned back in his chair and mulled everything over for a minute. He sat forward again and met Elissa's eyes.

"I think it may just work," he murmured to himself, then spoke a bit louder. "I cannot guarantee that the Grand Cleric will agree to being kept uninformed, but otherwise, it seems like a solid plan. That it's a templar who travels with you may reduce her objections, however."

"I trust you to make her agree to it," Elissa replied seriously. "I am only going along with this as far as I already have. Ser Bryant is a good man, and I would hate to send him away, but I am _perfectly_ willing to do so if it gives me reassurance that I won't be spied on." She smiled a little then. "Besides, it's not like you won't know if something goes horribly wrong and demons start running amok out of the gates of Vigil's Keep." At this, both Greagoir and Irving snorted.

Greagoir stood and offered Elissa his hand. "Very well, then. Shall we shake on it?"

Elissa smiled. Then she directed her next question to the corner. "What do you think, Nathaniel? Does it sound like a fair compromise to you?"

Greagoir and Irving both started and paled. Irving turned around and Greagoir, already facing that way, stared as the shadow in the corner stated, "Indeed it does, Elissa."

Greagoir looked at Elissa with a thunderous expression on his face before marching to the corner of the room, but before he got there, Nathaniel removed himself from the shadows, revealing not only himself but Eleanor. At the sight of the young woman, Greagoir stopped dead in his tracks and just _stared_.

"I am truly sorry to have deceived you like this," Elissa started, "but I wanted to make sure you'd speak openly to me. I also wanted a witness to what we said in case of future problems. This is Nathaniel, my second-in-command, and he has my complete trust and confidence. He will not divulge any of the details from this meeting to anyone, at any time." Nathaniel nodded to Irving, who gaped at him, and then to Greagoir, who no longer noticed his presence. Greagoir had folded Eleanor into his arms and had her head tucked under her chin, and was whispering something to her.

"Is there anyone _else_ in the room we should know about?" Irving looked at Elissa with one eyebrow raised and a trace of amusement on his face.

Elissa smiled. "No, nobody else is in the room." Irving nodded, then looked over at Greagoir and Eleanor. He looked pointedly at Elissa and Nathaniel, then over to the door. The two Wardens nodded and Irving showed them out, closing the door behind him as he joined them in the hallway. The three of them walked to the other side of the wide hallway which remained otherwise unoccupied.

"That meeting went well, I should think," Irving said conversationally. His eyes sparkled as he looked at Elissa. "Did you say that you wanted to recruit here tomorrow? What are you looking for in your recruits?"


	17. At the Edge of the Storm

A/N: The note referred to at the end this chapter, written by Fergus, appeared in chapter 14 of my other story "Choices." Thanks.

A/N 2: Chapter 4 of my story "Forgiveness" occurs just before the events of this chapter. If you're following, or are interested in following, between stories, this is where they link together. Thanks!

-0-0-0-

"I can't believe that there weren't _any_ suitable recruits at the Circle," Anders complained as they walked. "I know the Circle is rebuilding its numbers, but there should have been at least one person who would have made a decent Warden."

"I know." Elissa sighed for the fourth time that hour. "But out of everyone there, I couldn't take their only competent healer! I was tempted, believe me."

"What about Godwin? I worked with him a little. Well, between escape attempts." Elissa could hear the grin in Anders' voice. Nathaniel and Eric snorted simultaneously and Erna shook her head in amusement, having been filled in on Anders' story. "He's a competent spellcaster and he's good with enchantments."

"Godwin? You're kidding, right?" Elissa laughed. "Do you know what he was doing during Uldred's revolt?"

"No, what?"

"Hiding in a wardrobe on the second floor." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nathaniel's lips twitch. Oghren snickered. Elissa stopped walking then, and turned around to speak directly to Anders. "Even after I informed him that the path down to the entrance of the tower was clear, he insisted on going back into the wardrobe to hide."

Anders laughed. "Never mind, then," he said, shaking his head. "Somehow I doubt that recruiting for new Wardens would be any easier if one of our number screamed like a little girl and jumped up on a chair whenever he saw a rat."

Elissa chuckled. "Exactly. But, Irving said that he has some harrowings coming up soon, and depending on the results of those, we might be able to recruit one or two people afterward. He said one in particular was very good. He's the brother of another mage who used to live there, who died during the attack on Denerim. I think the last name was … Amell?"

Anders whistled low. "If it's the Amell I'm thinking of, we'll definitely want to meet that man. His sister Solona was _really_ good. Everyone called her Irving's star pupil because she could do no wrong in the eyes of the senior enchanters. What happened to her?"

"Irving said that she died after taking out two ogres and a powerful emmissary." Even Oghren's eyes widened at that remark and Anders whistled again.

"That would be her. If her brother has half the talent she did, then you really want him." Elissa nodded in agreement. Before she got a chance to continue, Nathaniel pointed ahead on the road.

"We have company. There's a group approaching on horseback." Nathaniel indicated the spot on the horizon he saw as Elissa turned around.

"At least it's probably not bandits this time," Elissa said, squinting against the afternoon sun. "But let's split up on the sides of the road to be ready for anything." She took the left side with Erna, Ragnar and Anders, and Nathaniel took the right side with the others. Then they waited to see whether the horsemen would pass through or stop.

As they approached, Elissa made out four riders. They were galloping at full speed, the horses' hooves thundering on the roadbed as they approached. The lead rider was wearing light armor, complete with a helm, that looked like it was of Dalish make since the arms and legs were bare. The rider had a slim build as well. The others were also wearing light or medium armors, but they looked larger on their horses. As they grew closer, the riders noted the party on the sides of the road and slowed down. When the horses came within ten feet, the lead pulled his horse to a halt and slid off while putting a hand up, presumably to warn his comrades to stay put. He stepped away from his horse and bowed before he spoke, the long-familiar voice saying, "My lovely Warden, it is good to see you again. And in one piece! Truly, this is a good day."

"Zev!" Elissa smiled. "This is a surprise." She walked straight up to the elf as he removed his helm and grinned at him before giving him a friendly hug. "How are you?"

"I am well, my dear friend," Zevran said, looking her over. "But we have a great deal to discuss." He dropped a sealed note in her hand; she glanced at it and noticed the Cousland seal. She started to break it open and Zev put his hand on hers, shaking his head. "Look at it later, when you have some free time," he said quietly, his face uncharacteristically serious. "I can take an answer back in the morning."

After a brief introduction, during which Zevran flirted with Erna, then Ragnar threatened Zevran, then Zevran flirted with Ragnar, then Ragnar got flustered and Erna calmed him down, the group decided to make camp early. Elissa and Zevran walked away from the campsite, choosing to sit on the shore of the lake to talk while they fished for dinner.

"I saw your other note," Elisa said quietly. "You have people stationed nearly everywhere, from the looks of it?"

Zevran nodded his head. "Yes. We have people in estates acting as servants where we can, and still others who are keeping their eyes and ears open in the cities."

"How is Erlina? Where is she now?"

"She is helping to manage information in the arling, by watching events around the city of Amaranthine." Zevran turned to look directly at Elissa. "She is also in charge of the men guarding Delilah and her family." Elissa smiled.

"Thank you for thinking of that. I know it makes a big difference for Nathaniel." Elissa smiled.

Zevran shrugged as if it was no consequence. "It was a weak point and needed to be covered. Oh, by the way, Delilah probably has sent a note to Nathaniel thanking him for his baby present of a live-in maid and nanny." This made Elissa chuckle.

"Clever. I like it." They sat for a minute, thinking to themselves, before Elissa spoke again. "What is the political situation?"

"It is … uneasy." Zevran was unusually hesitant. "As you know from my note, Bann Loren is dead, poisoned by someone as yet unknown. He left no heirs, so his bannorn will be absorbed into its neighbors. This leaves, of course, many who would benefit from his death even if you do not include his political leanings."

"Which, of course, were dependent on public opinion," Elissa murmured.

"Just so. Gwaren does not have a new Teyrn yet, but there are rumors that Alistair will assign the teyrnir at the next Landsmeet. And Rainesfere has no new bann at present, but it may yet be assigned one. There are rumors that Arl Teagan may promote Ser Perth to bann status." Zevran sighed. "Those are the territories we know are definitely not against us."

Elissa's eyes widened. "It's really that bad?" she asked incredulously.

"Perhaps not so bad as that. After all, many of these people do not know the depth of your involvement yet. But every bann and arl has a low opinion of either you or Nathaniel, for various reasons."

Elissa groaned and put her head in her hands. "Well, let's hear what we're up against."

"West Hill is for you at present. Arl Wulff is a staunch supporter of the Wardens because they ended the blight. However, he is becoming quite old and has no heirs at present. They died from darkspawn attacks. You have Redcliffe, of course; Teagan is a sensible and intelligent man, and he has much influence. Also, you may yet have Dragon's Peak. The bann, Sighard was his name? Yes. That was it. He sings your praises still for rescuing his son from Rendon's dungeons. He hates the Howes, but so far has only blamed the father." Elissa nodded. "Oh, and Shianni from the Denerim Alienage will support you, of course. She remembers all that you did to stop the slavers and darkspawn from razing that part of the city."

Elissa smiled briefly at the mention of Shianni, but grew serious again. "Now for the definite bad news, I take it." Zevran nodded.

"I am afraid so, my dear. Bryland of South Reach is absolutely against the Howe family. As he does not seem a particularly logical man, I would not place money on him when asking him to consider that Nathaniel is not his father's son." Elissa nodded. "As a side note, his daughter is a lovely girl and quite the minx. Bann Ceorlic was a staunch supporter of Loghain, blaming the Howes for everything that could have been attributed to both men, and you for his death. And, of course, there's Vaughan, who is a nasty son of a bitch all around and loves nobody but himself." He chuckled darkly. "He is angry with both you and Nathaniel, and has taken an extreme dislike to the king."

"Really? Alistair? Why?" Elissa couldn't imagine what Alistair would have done directly to Vaughan. "Did he raise taxes in Denerim or something?"

"No, worse in Vaughan's eyes. He made Shianni a Bann and gave the elves rights."

Elissa winced. "Right. Coming from his perspective that would have been adding insult to injury."

"Just so. And since the king supports you ..." Zevran shrugged. "I think you see the total picture there."

Elissa grimaced. "Well, I _hope_ the king still supports me," she said slowly.

"Ah? What is this? This should be good," Zevran said, looking at Elissa calculatingly.

"Well, we sort of got into a … a _discussion_. He found out about Nathaniel, and that was about as good as could be expected." Zevran nodded in understanding. "He acted jealous and moody ever since he found out on the road and during our entire time in Orzammar. Finally, as we were leaving Orzammar he and I talked and ..."

"And?"

" … and I _might_ have let slip my misgivings about how we handled Loghain." Elissa winced again.

"My dear, I told you that would be a bad idea," Zevran sighed. "So now he is angry, yes?"

Elissa frowned. "I don't know. That's the problem. He's disappointed and probably angry at me as a person. I don't know if he will let that carry over into politics or not." She sighed. "Speaking of anger translating into politics, you spoke with Fergus?"

"Yes." Zevran looked at Elissa again, this time out of the corner of his eye, before looking back to the lake. He kept his tone quiet and conversational. "He was pleasant enough to me, but he seems to still be quite angry about your last meeting." He paused, and Elissa sighed sadly. "You may wish to allow him more time to calm down before speaking with him again."

"Thank you, Zev. I'll wait then." She pulled the note from her belt. "Should I open this now?" Zevran hesitated, then nodded. Elissa turned the note over and broke the seal, opening it slowly. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath, then started to read.

_Warden-Commander,_

_Since our last meeting I have had time to consider what we discussed. I remember distinctly that you said that Grey Wardens do not directly hold land or political titles. Would you be so kind, then, as to return the remaining Cousland signet ring? I may have need of it in the future. In addition, if you could kindly inquire of your associates as to the location of the Cousland sword and shield, I would be most grateful. Those items have gone missing from my family treasury, and I would like to see my family's heirlooms restored to their home. Thank you._

_Sincerely,_

_Teyrn Fergus Cousland_

Elissa closed her eyes and handed the note to Zev, who read through it with his eyebrows raised. "This looks like bad news, my friend."

"Yes. I'm apparently being disowned." Elissa drew a shaky breath, trying to keep from losing her self-control. Despite her efforts, a single tear left her eye and trailed down to her chin and her voice cracked. "He wouldn't ask for Mother's signet ring back otherwise." She hurriedly wiped the offending wetness from her face, then took several deep breaths, willing herself to calm before continuing. When she did, her voice was almost back to normal. "I don't have the sword and shield. I ended up selling them in Denerim when we needed money for food."

Zevran hissed through his teeth. "That was what you were asking that dwarven merchant about after the blight ended, was it not?"

Elissa nodded after a moment. "Yes. He had sold them. I guess they're hanging on someone's wall now. Maybe they've been melted down to make new weapons. We'll probably … we'll probably never find them." Suddenly, she felt the need to be completely alone. "Zev, can you keep fishing?" He looked at her and nodded sympathetically. "Thanks. I'll write the reply to Fer- to Teyrn Cousland after dinner." She got up and went to the campsite, going immediately into her tent and closing the flaps.

She didn't know how long she lay there, barely registering the murmur of conversation by the fire outside her tent, but after some time the flap opened and Nathaniel came in. He lay down facing her, propping his head up with his arm.

"Dinner's ready," he said quietly. "Hungry?" Elissa looked at him and shook her head. He stroked her hair. "Want to talk about it?" She showed him the note without speaking a word. He took it from her and read it, folding it carefully and setting it aside after he was done. He sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear. "You still have me and the other Wardens, and Delilah," he murmured as he drew her into his arms.

She was surprised that she didn't cry. Instead, she listened to his heartbeat and felt his breath and hands tangling through her hair and just let his presence occupy her. She didn't remember being tired, but when she awoke it was the next morning. Nathaniel was still holding her.

-0-0-0-

_Teyrn Cousland,_

_As you requested, I have sent the remaining Cousland signet ring with this message. The Cousland family sword and shield were lost during the blight; I kept them as long as possible, but I eventually had to sell them out of necessity to feed my people. I was not able to recover them when I had made enough money to buy them back. You have my most sincere apologies in this matter._

_I would rather have told you this in person, Your Grace, but I understand that the current circumstances will not permit an in-person meeting. I wanted to apologize for my behavior at our last meeting. To lose control of myself and act in anger was unforgivable. _

_Also, please find enclosed a letter you wrote to one of my wardens a few months ago, regarding a bandit attack that you and he had been involved in. He requested that I send this to you so that you could destroy it if you wish. Neither of us wanted you to be embarrassed by its contents. He also wanted me to inform you that he returns all rights and privileges associated with the property mentioned in the letter to you, its rightful owner. He will ensure that his family is apprised of the change in circumstances._

_Sincerely,_

_Elissa,_

_Warden-Commander in Ferelden_


	18. In the Storm

_Another day, another bandit attack._ As usual, the group dispatched the bandits with barely any injuries or harm done to themselves, despite the large numbers of bandits on the roads. As usual, there were no survivors among the bandits. As usual, Elissa mentally bemoaned the fact that there were no patrols on the Imperial Highway for this section of the road.

_The really sad part is that until patrols happen here, by tomorrow there will be more bandits to replace the ones we just killed. I'll write messages to Alistair and the banns to keep them informed. They should want to know about this._ Elissa sighed. _Hopefully they will read the messages and act on them._

Once they finished cleaning up the bodies and set them on fire, they made their way. They needed to travel more ground before it got dark. Elissa hoped that the North Road continued to be well-patrolled, so that perhaps they would be able to make up the time they had lost on the Imperial Highway.

-0-0-0-

By the second day after they had reached the North Road, everyone was starting to relax. They saw regular patrols, nearly all wearing the Cousland crest, and the presence of the armed guards seemed to act as an effective deterrent for the bandits that were prevalent along the shores of Lake Calenhad. Because they were worrying less about being attacked at any given moment, Elissa could pay attention to her people instead of the road. Anything she could focus on to get out of her own head was a blessing; she really didn't need to allow her problems to affect the group.

Most of their group was doing well. Anders, Eric and Oghren tended to walk together regularly and discuss whatever they happened to be thinking of at the time. Elissa overheard a lot of discussion of women and drink, and would frequently notice Eric shaking his head bemusedly when she looked back to see what they were doing. Nathaniel joined them from time to time, when he wasn't walking with Elissa or scouting ahead, and would listen to the antics of the other Wardens with a shake of his head and a wry grin at Eric.

Ragnar and Erna walked by themselves frequently or they walked near Elissa. They would talk among themselves a little, or Erna would talk with Elissa while Ragnar hung back and looked at the road, glancing at the two women from time to time. Ragnar didn't look unhappy; he just kept his thoughts to himself. Erna, once she opened up, was positively _chatty_, telling stories about when she lived in Dust Town and the exploits of the Carta and various 'dusters' that she knew. She also asked a lot of questions about surface life. Elissa thought that by the time they arrived back at the keep, Erna would know more about Ferelden history and culture than any other dwarf in Thedas. Elissa also thought that she now understood why Ragnar didn't say much; he couldn't get a word in edgewise. The thought made her smile to herself a little before her thoughts weighed her down again.

-0-0-0-

They were approaching the intersection that led to Highever.

Elissa made it a point to ignore the side road, preferring instead to focus on pretending it didn't matter to her. Maybe, if she acted like that road went nowhere, the farce would become reality. _In a way, I guess that road does lead nowhere. For me, at least._ She did her best to stay relaxed and not let her thoughts get the better of her, like they had done so many times in the past. She was only moderately successful.

She felt a hand clasp hers, and by the accompanying presence she knew it was Nathaniel. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and she squeezed his hand in response, just as she heard Oghren speak.

"Hey there, Erna. You're looking mighty good today." Oghren laughed, the leer that must have been present on his face apparent in the sound. "What say we go behind those bushes over there and you can get a little taste of ol' Oghren?" Elissa could imagine him waggling his eyebrows at the blatant come-on.

Erna didn't seem impressed. "You wouldn't know what to do with me if you _got_ me," she replied, laughing. "Besides, I'd wear you out and nobody wants to carry you."

"Heh heh heh. That could be fun. Besides, there's plenty of Oghren to go around. I'd like to see you _try _to wear me out."

"There's plenty …? Oghren, she can _smell_ you from where she's standing! In fact, I'm pretty sure they can smell you at the keep from here! Why do you need to go behind a bush for that?" Anders felt the need to join in. Elissa heard an indistinct snicker that was covered by a cough. It sounded remarkably like Eric.

"Leave my sister alone, _old man_. I'll come over there and pummel you if I have to." Ragnar was never fond of Oghren's flirtations, if what Oghren did could be called flirting. Elissa was never quite sure. She always thought flirting should come across less like a mallet to the head and more like a whisper on the wind. Then again, subtlety was never Oghren's strong suit.

"Hah! I'd like to see you try that, kid. But hey, I can teach you a few things that'll please the ladies. You should really grow a beard for some of them, but ..." And so they continued down the road.

Elissa looked at Nathaniel and he smiled at her. She managed a small smile back as he squeezed her hand. _Thank you. All of you. It's good to be reminded you're not alone in the world, after all._

-0-0-0-

She woke from the nightmare, sweating and shaky. Her eyes had snapped open the moment she had escaped the nocturnal torment, but it took a moment to process the objects around her. She looked at Nathaniel and was reassured to see that he was still sleeping. She must not have been screaming or thrashing. Thank the Maker for small favors.

_Another one. This is getting old fast. _She sighed silently. _At least it's not every night like it used to be._ _Yet. _She gingerly sat up, trying to keep from disturbing Nathaniel, and closed her eyes while she let her breath and heartbeat return to normal. It took a few minutes despite it being a familiar exercise.

_I won't be able to go back to sleep tonight._ With that assessment made, Elissa donned her tunic, leggings and boots and slipped out of the tent as silently as she could. She crouched by the fire for a few moments, staring unseeing at the flames, before straightening up and looking around. Off to the side, facing away from the fire, she saw Ragnar standing alone. _It's the middle of the night, then, if it's his watch._

Elissa walked over to Ragnar and stood beside him. She was never quite sure what to say to the taciturn dwarf; usually he would say what he thought when he was good and ready, and make it short and to the point. So, she waited for him to have something to say. She was not disappointed. After a few minutes, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "You're not what I expected."

Elissa raised an eyebrow at the statement. "I hear that a lot, but I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing."

Ragnar thought for a minute then shrugged. "Erna likes you."

_So it's a good thing. _"Thanks. I like her too." Elissa studied the darkness beyond the camp. "She seems like she's been a good sister to you. I can see why you try to protect her."

Ragnar suddenly looked down and shuffled his feet. Elissa thought if she could see his face more clearly, he'd probably look embarrassed. "Yeah," he finally said. "She's all right." He turned his head a little so that he was sort of looking at Elissa. "She won't shut up though."

Despite herself, Elissa was amused. "She stops talking when she goes to sleep at least, right?"

Ragnar barked out a laugh. "Nope." He shook his head. "Go listen at her tent."

Elissa was intrigued. She walked over to Erna's tent and listened at the flap. Sure enough, she heard unintelligible murmuring. She walked back to Ragnar and said quietly, "She just can't keep it in, can she?"

He shook his head before looking at Elissa. When he did, she caught the edge of a smile for a brief moment. "Never tell her any secrets." He grinned then, the first time Elissa had ever seen him actually smile openly, then looked back out to keep watch. When he spoke again a little while later, his voice sounded amused. "She's crazy."

Elissa snorted. "Then she fits in here just fine," she said wryly. "None of us is quite right in the head." At that, it was Ragnar's turn to snort.

"Uh-huh." They both stood there, Ragnar keeping watch, Elissa thinking, for some time before Elissa turned to go sit at the fire. As she did, he nodded once. Elissa put a hand on his shoulder briefly before leaving and walking over to the warmth. She put a log on the fire to build it back up a bit, then sat and watched it for the next few hours while she tried to organize her thoughts.

-0-0-0-

It was raining furiously.

The weather had started out well enough that day. It was warm and sunny, and the road and its travelers had been lucky thus far, staying blessedly dry. But Elissa could tell the very moment they had crossed into the arling of Amaranthine's borders by the weather alone. A huge, black raincloud had suddenly darkened the sky at midday, making the day look like nighttime. The only reason the group wasn't completely soaked to the skin was because there was a conveniently abandoned farmhouse just ahead on the road. They got to the front porch of the dwelling just as the sky opened up, the black cloud unleashing its full power on the earth below.

Elissa hung back, watching Erna's face register a look of wonder. Erna held out a hand to feel the rain as it fell. "This is amazing," she said. "I can't believe how _loud_ it is." Even Ragnar looked impressed by the force of nature they were witnessing. The two dwarves just watched the rain fall for several minutes before going inside. Elissa followed them in.

The farmhouse must not have been abandoned for very long. There was copious dust on all the surfaces, but the structure itself was intact and the furnishings were in good shape apart from the dust. Nathaniel was setting up a fire in the fireplace and Eric and Oghren were moving funiture out of the way to make room for everyone's bedrolls. Anders emerged from a doorway across from the house's entrance.

"There were mice in the mattresses, so they're not good for sleeping on," Anders said. "I figure we can move both mattresses to the smaller bedroom and there will be enough space for all of us to sleep." Elissa nodded at him, granting her approval of the idea, and Anders disappeared again through the same doorway. Ragnar followed him.

Before long, there was a fire blazing in the hearth and everyone had staked out their personal space by setting up their bedrolls. The rain thundering down on the roof of the small cottage completed the feeling of coziness inside. Elissa could picture a family scene: a mother tending to dinner as it cooked on the fire, a father who, just barely home for the day, would play with the children to keep them distracted from their mother's work, the little sister who would do her best to keep up with her big brother as …

Suddenly, the room closed in on her. She tried to keep her breathing regular until she could get outside. She closed the front door quietly after exiting the house and moved to the corner of the porch, sliding down the exterior wall of the small farmhouse until she was sitting against it with her knees pulled up. She rested her forehead on crossed arms and closed her eyes as she tried to regain her equilibrium.

"You haven't been sleeping." Elissa's head jerked up. Between the torrential downpour and her own thoughts, all other sound had been drowned out. She wouldn't have heard Nathaniel approach anyway; he was incredibly silent when he moved. He sat down next to her, just barely still under the porch roof, and motioned that she should come sit with him. She moved over and settled between his outstretched legs, leaning sideways against his chest with her feet tucked under her. As she settled her head against his shoulder, he pulled his cloak around the both of them, cocooning them both in the wool cloth. She watched the rain fall down wildly just a couple of feet away as he shifted to make himself more comfortable. She was almost surprised when he spoke again.

"Talk to me." He spoke quietly yet insistently as he stroked her hair. She closed her eyes briefly before opening them to stare out into the fury of the storm.

"He … I lost him once before, you know." She trusted that Nathaniel would know that she was talking about Fergus. "During the blight, he went missing after Ostagar. Everyone assumed he was dead. I was able to handle it then, when everyone else had died and we were wanted for treason. I've barely seen him since the blight, except for the time he spent at the keep, so knowing that he's alive and well should be better than thinking he's dead. But ..." her voice stopped working and she didn't know how to restart it. She settled for shrugging.

"I'm not sure that having constant nightmares is handling it, exactly." Nathaniel spoke softly. "Let it out this time. I'm here." As he put his arms around her, he kissed her forehead and tucked her head under his chin. "I'm not going anywhere."

His kindness and affection undid her. With those words, a near-silent cry welled up in her chest and forced its way up to her throat, then her mouth, bringing with it gasping sobs and hot tears. Nathaniel said nothing else, preferring to hold her and stroke her back and hair as she let wave after wave of grief exit her system. She didn't know how long she sat there, encircled in his arms, crying out her pain, but when the sobs died down she felt emptied. It was a relief, despite the headache she'd given herself.

He reached into his pocket and produced a handkerchief that he used to wipe her eyes and nose. She dutifully took the square of linen and blew her nose as he fished in his pocket again, pulling out another handkerchief. She tilted her head back to look at him as he reached out into the rain, kerchief in hand, and let the cloth get soaked before squeezing it out with his fist. He brought hand and handkerchief back in from the rain and used the cloth to smooth her face and wash away the salt. It felt cool and relaxing, so she closed her eyes, letting her head rest against his shoulder while he took away the evidence of her grief. She sighed with relief as he massaged her temples to calm the throbbing in her head. It didn't take long to fall asleep sitting in his arms.

When she awoke, the rain had stopped and it was dark out. It was a full moon that night, so the landscape was easily visible, everything in sight showing in shades of gray instead of full color. She was still sitting in Nathaniel's arms, leaning against his chest, with her head on his shoulder. She turned her attention to the night sky. The stars twinkled brightly and the moon was almost like the sun in its nocturnal brilliance. The air smelled clean, freshly washed by the earlier rain.

Nathaniel must have been awake and noticed the change in her breathing, for he whispered to her then. "How do you feel?"

She thought for a moment before answering. "Better. Thank you." She sat up and looked at him as he nodded.

"Let's go in and sleep." He fixed the cloak around her shoulders before they both stood. "I'd wager you could get in another full night's sleep right now." When he said that, she suddenly realized how exhausted she was and swayed on her feet. He put his hand on her arm to steady her and guided her to the front door of the farmhouse as he chuckled. "Let's go get you to bed. It's Anders' turn to stand watch."


	19. Home Sweet Home

"Home sweet home," Oghren muttered. "Never thought I'd say that about _anywhere_ on the surface."

Vigil's Keep was visible in the distance. They were back. _Finally._ Elissa looked around and saw that Oghren and Anders had perked up once the keep came into view. Eric was watching them also. Erna, on the other hand, looked … nervous? Ragnar noticed it too and walked closer to her. Elissa caught her eye and tried to reassure her with a smile as she said, "We'll have to sort out your rooms once we get there. Think about what you might like and we'll see what we can do to house you." At this, Erna stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes grew huge. "You mean … you mean I get to have my _own_ room? And I get to _choose _it?" Ragnar didn't say anything, but he too had eyes as huge as saucers. Elissa stopped herself, signaling the rest of the group to stop as well, and turned the rest of the way to face her. She smiled again.

"Yes. I see no reason why not, unless you want to live in one of the houses in the courtyard." At that statement, Erna's eyes grew even larger. Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly. "An _entire_ house?" she finally squeaked. Elissa laughed.

"They're more cottages than full houses, but yes. I thought you might like to be in the keep proper though, at least in the beginning. I thought you'd want to stay closer to your brother and we have the space." At this, Ragnar looked up at Elissa with a rare expression of gratitude on his face. He nudged Erna, who remembered herself and snapped her jaw shut before shaking her head and starting to walk again. Elissa turned forward and started walking, then remembered something. "You should go ahead," she said. "I need to speak with Nathaniel really quickly." She ignored Oghren's leer and Anders' low whistle and waved them off, smiling. Nathaniel stayed behind and waited for her. Once she was sure the others were out of earshot, she sat on a log that had fallen on the edge of the road and patted the spot next to her. He sat and looked at her, waiting for her to speak.

_He's been quieter than usual recently. _The realization came upon her suddenly. "Is everything all right?" she asked. He started.

"Is that what you wanted to ask just now?" He looked surprised.

"No, but I just realized you've said hardly anything for the past couple of days." Elissa turned to face him and put her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry I didn't notice before." She sighed. "You've been taking care of me for a while now and it's not right that I shouldn't notice that you might need someone to talk to."

Nathaniel smiled a little. "It's all right." He took a deep breath and let it out, relaxing his shoulders before chuckling wryly. "I've been thinking too much myself recently. It can wait until later."

Elissa nodded. "All right. After dinner, then?" Nathaniel nodded once in agreement, so she changed the subject. "What I actually wanted to talk about was the joining. We should put Ragnar through it soon, before he ..." she swallowed the lump that suddenly jumped into her throat, "before he gets settled."

Nathaniel thought for a moment. "Why don't we do the joining after lunch?" he said. "That will give him the morning to explore the grounds, but it won't give him more time than he needs to relax a little bit." He covered her hand with his. "I feel like he'll be all right, Elissa. Try not to worry too much."

Elissa closed her eyes and sighed, then opened them again and stood up. She held out a hand for Nathaniel to take and helped him stand. "I'll do my best. At least we'll know either way soon." She leaned forward for a kiss before they both turned toward the keep and walked the rest of the way home.

Eric was waiting for them at the gates. "Can I speak with you?" he asked Elissa. She looked at Nathaniel, who gave her a brief smile, then back at Eric. "Certainly. Should we go to the study?"

Eric shook his head. "That's not necessary. I wanted to ask both of you something, actually." Nathaniel had started to walk off, but came back. Eric waited for Nathaniel to return and took a deep breath, letting it out, before saying, "I'd like to become a Grey Warden, if that's possible."

_Did … I … hear that correctly?_ Elissa blinked. "Really?" she said aloud. "What about the Chantry, and your oaths as a templar?" She lowered her voice. "What about lyrium? I don't know if I can keep you in potions without at least Greagoir's help. I saw someone in severe withdrawal once and it was _horrible._"

"Wait." Nathaniel put his hand on her arm. "Let's hear him out. I think he'd make a good Warden."

Elissa sighed. "All right, let's talk about this." She looked at Eric and he started to explain.

"I haven't had the most illustrious career as a templar." Eric was speaking as a matter-of-fact, but his eyes showed some amusement. "I have a tendency to think for myself, you see," and here his tone turned sardonic, "and I'm not _nearly_ fanatical enough to obey my orders without question." He frowned. "When I found out about the Grand Cleric's plot, it made me think about the oaths I took and how I really felt about the Chantry. I believe in Andraste and the Maker, but ..." He stopped and looked at them both directly. "I don't think I can be part of an organization that is willing to poison its people to keep them in line and spy on others while claiming to be above reproach." He sighed. "As for the lyrium, I doubt I'll ever be completely free of it. But I've been cutting back as much as I can. Anders has helped by diluting lyrium potions so that I take as little as possible. I never took that much in the first place, so it's not as bad as others who have been in the order as long as I have."

"And that's worked?" Elissa studied Eric's face. He seemed to be fully engaged and not delirious at all, so it _looked _like he was all right. "You're with us here, now? You're not seeing things or feeling confused?"

Eric laughed. "Well, I wouldn't _know_ if I was seeing things, would I?" Elissa had to concede that point. "But I am here with you and I don't believe I've been hallucinating. I've had some really nasty headaches, but Anders has been helping me with herbal remedies and healing where he can."

Nathaniel's brows raised. He was clearly impressed. Elissa was too - lyrium addiction, by all counts, was not a small problem. Elissa was still concerned, however. "Eric," she said slowly, "Being a Grey Warden is hard on you. There's the danger, of course, but as a templar who chased apostates I'm sure you aren't as worried about that." Eric nodded in agreement. "I'm worried about the … morality … of being a Warden more for you. We have to make a lot of really tough decisions. So far, most of the decisions I've had to make were between one questionable option and another equally questionable option. It seems like the Chantry teaches you things in black and white, and we don't have the luxury of dealing with those sorts of choices." She thought of Alistair, and how _hard_ it was for him to get past his personal ideals of what being a Warden was and how things _should_ be, and instead focus on what was not-the-worst possibility. "I say this now because being a Warden changes you irrevocably, and you need to know this before you commit to it. As a templar, that could be really hard for you."

Eric looked thoughtful for a while before speaking again. "I understand," he said, and then he smiled. "As it happens, that was _exactly_ the reason I got in trouble with my superiors frequently." His smile widened to a full-blown grin. "The Reverend Mother in Lothering _hated_ me, in fact." He shook his head, still smiling, then continued. "Look, I don't have any illusions about the Grey Wardens being a team of people who do no wrong and who never make any difficult decisions. The order would never have the reputation it does if it never _did_ anything. I see the Wardens as a group of people who may not fit in elsewhere, but who still have a lot to offer the world. I think I can do some good here, instead of just muddling along, and I'd like to be part of what you do."

Elissa shook her head and smiled. When she looked at Nathaniel, he raised an eyebrow at her as if to say _what did I tell you?_ "All right, then. We'll meet after lunch to put you and Ragnar through the joining. And, Eric," here she hesitated, "may the Maker watch over you." Eric bowed in thanks and set off toward the keep. Elissa sighed and closed her eyes briefly. _We'll know in just a few hours. I hope they make it._

Progress toward the keep itself was slow. Because of their extended absence, everyone wanted to speak with Elissa to update her on their progress with rebuilding the keep, recruiting, trade, and any number of lesser matters. Even though the main courtyard was not terribly large, it took Elissa an hour to make her way through the crowd. She thought she was doing pretty well, actually; Kylon had obviously been doing well in her absence. Most of the updates she received involved the phrase, "Seneschal Kylon said ..." Elissa was pleased, especially since she agreed with nearly all of Kylon's decisions.

Finally, after a long reception line of people who wanted to talk to Elissa, she reached the gate to the inner courtyard. Her seneschal was standing there, waiting for her.

"Kylon, it's good to see you. How have you been?" Elissa smiled at him. For some reason, out of everyone she worked with, the seneschal was the only person who insisted on being addressed only by his last name. ("Even my parents used to call me Kylon," he'd said. "After a while, I think they forgot my given name. I forget what it is myself half the time and I'd _never_ answer to it anyway.") Elissa assumed it was because he had some really awkward first name like Aloysius or, Maker forbid, Frederic, and didn't want to be teased.

"I am doing well. It's been busy," Kylon replied. "I see you have new recruits with you?" Elissa nodded.

"Yes, we'll be needing the main hall after lunch. We have some Warden business to attend to at that time."

"That should be no problem. I assume you'll want to catch up on arling business afterward?"

Elissa nodded again. "That sounds good. I think I'll go clean up from the road now, unless there's anything that requires immediate attention?"

"There is." The seneschal looked back toward the keep, then back at Elissa. "Lady Alfstanna is here. She's waiting in the main hall to speak with you."


	20. The Eye of the Storm

Elissa's eyes widened. Alfstanna was one of the last people she would have expected to come visit the keep, especially after Orzammar. Mentally she groaned, wondering how much more would be heaped upon her head before everything was said and done. Aloud, she asked, "Has she been here long? Did she say what she wanted to discuss?"

Kylon shook his head. "No, and no. She got here only a couple of hours ago, saying she was hoping to catch you on her way to Amaranthine. She just said that if you made it back today she would like to see you briefly. I invited her and her men to stay here for the night before setting out again."

_Just what I needed, someone else to yell at me. _Elissa nodded at Kylon. "I'll go speak with her now. Thank you." Kylon nodded and she walked past him toward the main hall.

Elissa's steps slowed as she approached the main hall. She felt grimy from the road, her boots were still dusty, and she wasn't sure how Alfstanna would receive her. After all, the last time she'd seen the woman, she'd been on the receiving end of a series of particularly unhappy looks. She didn't blame Alfstanna for that, but it was still uncomfortable. When she reached the door to the main hall, she paused to take a deep breath and let it out while she squared her shoulders. _Let's get this over with._ She turned the door handle and stepped into the room.

"Lady Alfstanna," she said as she approached the noble. "Thank you for honoring us with your visit." When she came close enough, she bowed in respect. "What brings you our way?" When she looked up, Alfstanna was … smiling?

"Please, don't stand on ceremony for my sake. I think we're past that." Elissa didn't know what to say to that, so she stayed silent. She didn't have to wait for long as Alfstanna continued. "I came here to thank you."

Elissa was stunned. "Thank me? What for?" Her confusion must have shown on her face, for Alfstanna's smile grew.

"Let's talk. Is there someplace more comfortable where we can sit?"

"Y-yes. Of course." Elissa led Alfstanna to the study, where they each took a chair. Once they were settled, Elissa leaned back a little and waited for Alfstanna to begin explaining her completely unanticipated change of demeanor toward Elissa. Alfstanna didn't waste any time and started immediately.

"When we were traveling together and when we first got to Orzammar," she began, "it was obvious to all of us that Alistair hadn't moved past you, despite what both of you were saying." Elissa groaned at the memory, at which Alfstanna laughed. "_Exactly_. At the time, knowing how close you had been during the blight, and seeing that you were still fond of him, I rather jumped to conclusions. I presumed that even though it wasn't happening at the time, that Alistair would eventually take you back as a lover and I would be left on the side only to produce heirs."

"I was afraid of that," Elissa murmured. She suddenly felt very sad. "If it means anything, I can reassure you that I _have_ moved on and I don't intend to pursue Alistair."

Alfstanna nodded to Elissa. "I've figured that out since," she said. Elissa nodded for her to continue. "Nathaniel's jealousy over Alistair's attention to you didn't really help matters for me, especially since you were obviously uncomfortable with his behavior. I assumed that you were not particularly serious. At least until I saw you two at the proving." Alfstanna blushed a little when she said this. "I don't know what you two were talking about, but when I saw how you reacted to each other and the looks on your faces ..." Alfstanna paused a minute to collect herself as her blushing increased. "No woman who is thinking of another man looks like that when talking to her lover."

It was Elissa's turn to blush now, but she felt the smile form on her face at the memory of that short conversation. "Well … I'm glad that our lapse in decorum had a positive effect, I guess." Alfstanna laughed at Elissa.

"It had another positive effect, you know. Alistair noticed you two as well." Alfstanna shook her head, smiling. "That's what prompted the conversation you two had just before you left Orzammar. I don't know if you meant for this to happen, but what you told him, when you made him angry with you … you put me in the sudden, and welcome, position of becoming his confidante." Alfstanna sighed and a new, different smile came to her face. _She cares for him. _"He's actually giving me a chance now, when before he was just being polite."

Elissa sighed with relief. "He's starting to move on then?" Alfstanna nodded in agreement. "That's wonderful. I think you two can be really good together. I hope that you're both happy."

Alfstanna studied Elissa's face. "You really mean that, don't you?" Elissa nodded her agreement, at which Alfstanna's smile grew brighter. "Excellent. That makes what I have to ask all the easier."

"What you have to ask?" Elissa raised an eyebrow. "Should I worry?"

Alfstanna laughed. "I certainly hope not! I wanted to ask you to act as one of our primary witnesses for the marriage ceremony."

"Really?" Yet again, Elissa was surprised. "It's an honor, of course, but I'm surprised you thought of me."

"It's good for a number of reasons, I think." Alfstanna looked thoughtful. "There's the fact that, from the beginning, you've been a vocal supporter of our marriage. That says a lot, and we're certainly thankful for it. Then there's the political aspect. For us, it publicly enforces our political position of supporting you and the other Wardens in Ferelden, and for you, it reaffirms that you are supportive of the Crown. It might help with the lesser nobles' acceptance of you and possibly Nathaniel." At these, Elissa nodded. That did make a lot of sense. "Lastly, with you and Fergus as the official witnesses, it shows that we have the two singularly most important people in all of Ferelden as not only allies, but friends."

At the mention of Fergus' name, Elissa's heart dropped into her stomach. She put her head in her hands. "Alfstanna … I'm not saying no to you, but you might want to reconsider the offer. Fergus … he's not exactly happy with me at the moment. If you have both of us right at the altar with you, witnessing the marriage, it could make everything _really_ awkward for you."

"What do you mean?" Alfstanna sounded really surprised. "What happened between the two of you?"

"Rendon Howe happened." Elissa sighed heavily. "I didn't fill Fergus in on the details of Rendon's takeover of Highever. They were, shall we say, unpleasant. He found out anyway, and has sworn off the entire Howe family. We argued about it and he found out about Nathaniel and myself, and ..." Elissa took a deep breath. "Fergus has disowned me."

She heard Alfstanna gasp. "_Disowned_ you? Isn't that a bit extreme?" Elissa looked up to see Alfstanna's eyes wide open in shock. "How long ago was this?"

"We argued when I was at Highever, just a few days before we met up with you on the way to Orzammar. I got the note asking to return my mother's signet ring to him on the way back." Elissa sighed. "You can see why he won't want me standing up there next to him, and since he's more important to the Crown …" Elissa shrugged. "He's really angry with me. Forcing him to acknowledge that I exist in front of all the other nobles might not be the best idea right now."

Alfstanna took a moment to get over her shock. When she did, her eyes grew determined. "I'll work on Fergus when he comes to Denerim," she said. "Assume, for now, that everything will be fine. If I can't convince Fergus to calm down, we can ask Teagan or Eamon at the last minute. Men and their pride!" She reached over and put a hand on Elissa's arm. "I'm sorry you've had to deal with all this, on top of the attempts to discredit your family's name."

Elissa shrugged. "It's not your fault. Thank you for trying." She wasn't holding out a lot of hope that Fergus' mind could be changed; after all, stubbornness was a family trait. She mustered up a faint smile before changing the subject. "Did my seneschal have someone show you your rooms for the night?"

"Thank you, but I won't take up any more of your time." Alfstanna stood and smiled at Elissa. "You just got back and I'm sure you have a thousand things to attend to. Besides, this was an unscheduled stop. I need to go to Amaranthine to see a jeweler and get back to Denerim." Elissa stood as well to show Alfstanna out of the keep. "We've called a Landsmeet just after the wedding, since the nobility will be there anyway, so we have an extra event to plan."

Elissa shook her head. "Because you didn't have nearly enough to worry about between now and then," she said wryly. "Please, be safe in your travels. We'll see you soon when we come to Denerim." She walked Alfstanna out of the keep and saw her and her guards off, then went to her room to clean up before lunch.

The unexpected boost left Elissa feeling optimistic. She even managed to eat a decent lunch, which Nathaniel noted, if the look of approval he gave her was any indication. It wasn't until she was standing in front of Eric and Ragnar afterward that the nervousness returned in full force, causing her to feel distinctly nauseous. _Please, please, let them survive this._ She did her best to avoid letting her fear show as she listened to Nathaniel say the words, "Join us, brothers …."

After Nathaniel finished, her world narrowed down to her, the chalice, and the two recruits who were standing in front of her. She handed the chalice to Eric first. "Ser Eric Bryant, from this moment on, you are a Grey Warden." Eric looked pale, but readily accepted the cup and drank from it. He didn't say a word. After a moment, his entire body spasmed and he fell unconscious to the floor.

Anders wasted no time going over to him and checking his pulse. When he looked up at Elissa, there was an enormous amount of relief in his eyes. "He made it," was all he said. Everyone breathed a little easier.

Elissa then moved to Ragnar. _Please, let him live too ..._ She handed it to him. "Ragnar, from this moment on, you are a Grey Warden."

Ragnar looked at her, his expression unreadable. "If I die," he said quietly, "what about Erna?"

Elissa looked straight into his eyes. "She is welcome to stay here and live with us. We'll do our best to take care of her as well as you would." The answer satisfied him, for he took the chalice to his lips and drank. Elissa took it back from him and waited.

Ragnar stood for a long moment, not reacting at all. Then, after what seemed like a lifetime, she could _see_ his eyes roll back in his head, covered by a white film. Then he … just fell backward. There was no expression of pain, no spasming, no sound at all. Anders went to his side and checked his vital signs. When he looked up, he was grinning.

"I think we found someone who's even more stoic than Nathaniel," he said. "He made it, Elissa. They're _both_ going to be fine."

Elissa had barely enough presence of mind to hand off the chalice to Nathaniel as her vision went dark. "Thank the Maker," she remembered murmuring as she smiled before passing out.


	21. In Nathaniel's Room

"Shut _up_." Elissa glared at her snickering companions at the dinner table. Ever since she'd awakened from her impromptu nap, Oghren and Anders could _not_ leave well enough alone. Apparently, because she was fine, and had merely fainted from sheer relief after being very stressed over the Joining, her episode made for excellent amusement. Elissa suspected a large part of their mirth was the incredible success of the Joining this time; having both of their friends live took a lot of stress off everyone and made _some_ of them rather giddy.

"But Elissa," Anders laughed, "it was so … so …." He waved his hands around, searching for the right word.

"Girly?" Oghren supplied, sending the two men into new fits of laughter. Elissa narrowed her eyes and looked at the other Wardens. Eric had his head down, studiously eating, but she swore she saw a smile on his face. Ragnar looked at all of them like they were crazy, and Nathaniel was smart enough not to say anything, although the corners of his mouth were _definitely_ upturned.

_I can't win. At least they're amused._ Elissa sighed and went back to her food so that she could leave the table that much sooner. She stopped listening once she heard the words _pink_ and _frilly _being tossed around, deciding with a shudder that she really did not want to know.

-0-0-0-

She found Nathaniel unpacking his things in his room after dinner. His door was open, so she walked in quietly and closed the door. At the click of the door latch, he looked up and saw her standing there. He smiled briefly at her and went back to organizing his belongings.

Elissa hadn't spent much time in Nathaniel's room. Admittedly, neither had he since they had become involved with each other. Elissa was using the master suite of the keep, which of course was larger with better furnishings, so they tended to stay in there. Still, Elissa noticed that there were a few recent changes in the room. There were some new odds and ends, including a pair of bookends on a sturdy shelf, and a series of small portraits hung along one wall. She walked over to inspect them. All of the portraits were of various men and women who were obviously Howe family members, judging from the facial characteristics that in one way or another strongly resembled Nathaniel. He had even hung a portrait of Rendon with the other family members, although it was nearly hidden in a corner. It looked like it was added as an afterthought. _It's too bad seeing Rendon brings up bad memories. This is an excellent portrait of him. _She looked at another portrait. This one was a heavily bearded man, and he looked vaguely familiar to Elissa. She pointed to it as she turned. "Who's this one?"

Nathaniel stopped for a moment and looked up at the portrait. "That one is Byron Howe, my great-uncle."

"The one whose statue used to be in front of the Chantry?"

"That's the one." He resumed pulling items out of his pack as Elissa studied the portrait some more.

"You know," she murmured, "I think that one of the books at Cousland Castle had a sketch of him inside."

"It's possible." Nathaniel was done now, and so he stowed his empty pack under his bed. Elissa didn't know how he fit it there, since the bed sat very low to the floor, but he managed somehow. "He was an important figure during the rebellion." Elissa nodded and looked at the other portraits. "You didn't come in here just to look at pictures of my family, I assume?" Elissa turned to see that he was watching her with amusement.

"I _was_ hoping to get a glimpse of some of your childhood portraits," Elissa teased. "Unless Delilah has them, in which case I need to make a visit to her home soon." Nathaniel recoiled in mock horror as she grinned. "Actually, I came up here because I believe I promised you that you could tell me what's been bothering you recently."

"Ah, that." Nathaniel's face fell slightly. "Yes. I suppose we did agree on that, didn't we?" He looked grim and Elissa grew concerned. _Why does he sound like he's stalling? _He started to pace. "I was thinking about the problems we've been having, and what we're likely to run up against in the future." He looked up at Elissa and she nodded, prompting him to continue. "I worry about you. Fergus is your _brother_, and his reaction to us was incredibly severe." Elissa felt a lump form in her stomach. "If he is going to be judgmental of you, and you've always been close, what will the other nobles do when they find out?" The lump grew larger. "Once everyone finds out that we're together, I ..." he paused, looking as if he didn't want to continue speaking, "It's entirely possible that by being with you, I could end up ruining your reputation. You could end up being discredited and everything you've worked so hard to achieve could be lost." The lump in her stomach tripled in size and grew cold. She felt like she was carrying an enormous block of ice in her midsection. Nathaniel sat on his bed, his head still down, and sighed. "Once everyone finds out about us, it could mean that you're destroyed just as surely as if Father had succeeded in his plans. I feel like we need to _do_ something about it." He closed his eyes and fell silent while Elissa tried to process where exactly Nathaniel was going with all this.

_Why won't he look at me? He couldn't be … No. NO. Doesn't he know that none of that matters to me? That I've _been_ there and … Please, Nathaniel, don't do what I think you're about to do. _She begged silently, willing him to listen to her, before realizing that her thoughts weren't going to convey themselves on their own. She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath in, grabbing at every bit of fraying control that she could reach, and tried to speak. It took her a moment to produce a sound, and when it did, it came out far too soft and unsure for her liking. "Nathaniel …? What are you … what is … You're not saying … are you?" She couldn't even bring herself to _ask _if he was trying to leave her.

Elissa's knees were shaking – if she had been wearing armor, the clanking sound would overwhelm her ears, assuming clanking could be heard over the roaring of her blood. She didn't dare blink, for fear that if she closed her eyes, suddenly Nathaniel would be gone from her sight. Her breath was coming in gasps, her feet felt like lead, and the lump of ice in her stomach started to spread its cold over the rest of her body. She became aware of a persistent voice in her head saying _no, please no, not that, don't do this, not again …_

It felt like forever before Nathaniel raised his head to look at her, although she knew that it was only a second or two since she had spoken. When he looked at her face, his eyes widened and he hurriedly got up from the bed and went to her. He grabbed her shoulders – was she off-balance? – and looked her in the eye. "No." His tone was low, insistent. "No, no, no, _no_. I am _not_ going anywhere." He looked at her face and sighed, before pulling her into his arms and kissing her forehead. "I'm not planning on leaving, Elissa. I'm neither stupid nor selfless enough for that." He stroked her hair for a moment.

Elissa took a deep, shuddering breath and brought her arms up to encircle Nathaniel's torso. She grabbed the back of his tunic and buried her head in his shoulder, using his heartbeat and scent to calm her. After a few minutes, she nodded. "I'm … I'm better now." Her voice still sounded shaky, but at least the moment of terror had passed.

He held her back for a minute to look at her. "You're still a little pale," he murmured. "Are you sure?" At her answering nod, he sighed again and drew her back to him, wrapping his arms securely around her. "Let me try this again, and this time I'll try not to frighten you."

Elissa closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "Toss a couple dozen darkspawn at me and I'll forget to be scared," she replied, smiling a little as he chuckled softly.

"All right." He paused a moment, letting more of her tension dissipate, before starting again. "What I was trying to say was that I'm worried that if too many people become angry with us, you'll lose your effectiveness as the Warden Commander, you'll lose the pledges of the banns and freeholders, or possibly both could happen. If you do, then we need to figure out some way to counteract that." He adjusted his hold on Elissa, moving to stroke her hair again. "Since I'm your second in command at present, having you step down because you're politically in trouble won't fix the problem. I think I should resign that position and you should name someone else as your successor."

Elissa felt her face heat up. "I feel like an ass now." She looked up at Nathaniel; he was smiling at her with understanding in his eyes. _How could I have doubted him?_ She shook her head. "I don't think you should resign. What if I'm unable to serve for some other reason? Right now you're the only other Warden in Ferelden who's qualified to both lead a military unit and run an arling. Besides, if you step down now that damages _your_ reputation. That's not right. Maybe we should wait and see what happens."

Nathaniel looked thoughtful at that. "What if we started training the Wardens we have now, just in case? That way if something does happen we won't be leaving Ferelden without a competent Warden presence. If we both feel the need to step down to protect the Wardens politically, replacing us with an Orlesian Warden is probably not the best option."

"I think that's an excellent idea." Elissa smiled at Nathaniel. "We can start training them tomorrow. But I'm leaving you as second in command, Ser. You don't get out of your job _that_ easily."

Nathaniel kept one arm around Elissa and brought the other hand to her neck, stroking her cheek with his thumb. His face slowly transformed from serious and thoughtful, his brows smoothing and opening up, his lips curving upward into a mischievous grin, his eyes developing a wicked glint in them, until he looked like he was about to devour Elissa whole. She suddenly felt warm all over and her knees stopped wanting to support her for entirely different reasons than before. "So what would I need to do," he said, his voice taking an intimate, almost gravelly tone that caused Elissa's brain to stop working, "in order to have my way?"

"You aren't already having your way with me?" she asked breathlessly as he wound his hand into the hair at the base of her skull, leaning into her as his eyes watched hers through half-closed lids. She gasped as he tugged gently at her hair, tilting her head back, and traced her jaw with nibbles and kisses. He responded with a low laugh, his warm breath tickling her neck and causing her to shiver as her eyes fell closed.

"So it would seem," he murmured into her skin. "But I need to be sure." Elissa's capacity for speech or thought fled as he found her pulse point with his lips and took full advantage of his ability to thoroughly distract her.


	22. In Elissa's Room

_My lovely Warden,_

_It has been far too long since I have seen you, my dear. Some say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and perhaps that is true. However, I would like to think that it is more likely that absence makes for a more enthusiastic reunion. Perhaps we shall see whether this is the case when I return home, no? Although I suppose I am not ready to have my life ended by a jealous paramour._

Elissa heard the snort behind her and smiled. "I'm sure he wrote that knowing that you would read the letter too." She grinned as Nathaniel grumbled in response.

_I must confess, my dear, that none of my friends have had anything interesting to say until recently. This would be the cause of my lapse in communication. I simply have had nothing to share. However, now there is talk of a change in weather. It seems that instead of the long stretch of calm days we have seen, the upcoming season promises to be rainy. Clouds gather over Highever, although the Teyrn has not noticed them yet, and in Denerim the weather looks to be particularly stormy. When you travel, you will want to pack accordingly to avoid getting caught in a storm. I would hate to see you catch cold._

_Ah, but enough talk of the weather, yes? I would much rather share tales of wine and women! Speaking of women, there is a lovely maiden in Amaranthine whom we both know, an elven lass with raven hair and the most delicately pointed ears. She is currently employed as a live-in maid, and tells me many a story of her charges and their daily lives. The babe grows larger every day, it seems, and he and his parents are leading happy, peaceful lives at present. She reports that life has been quiet, although she is always ready should she be invited to any parties. I doubt that she will lack for escorts when the time comes._

"So Erlina is the one who is staying with Delilah? I'm glad." Elissa nodded absently in response to Nathaniel and continued on.

_Last, but not least, we must talk about wine! Have you heard that the Arl of Denerim has the most interesting wine cellar in all of Ferelden, save for the King himself? The number of vintages represented is small, but varied, I am told. The Arl seems to prefer labels from some of the smaller bannorns, particularly those that have seen upheaval since the blight. While none of those bannorns has particular wealth or reputation, I am certain that attention from one such as the Arl of Denerim would convince most of them that their influence would only increase. Once I am able to complete a written list of these labels, and am able to learn the Arl's tendencies and preferences for wines, I will be certain to share this information with you. That way, you will be able to keep up with current trends and fortify your cellars accordingly._

_I hope to see you soon, my friend. _

_-Z._

"Well, that was interesting. Do you think Zevran will be able to get us any information we can use as proof against Vaughan?" Nathaniel's hands wrapped around Elissa's waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder as she folded the letter.

"If anyone can, Zev can," Elissa murmured and leaned back against Nathaniel. "I just hope we can stop Vaughan before more people get hurt." She felt, more than heard, Nathaniel sigh in response. She rested her arms on top of his as she pondered. "I'll be interested to see exactly which banns are plotting with him. I wouldn't be surprised if they're the same ones who caused Alistair trouble in the Bannorn just after the blight."

"Me either," Nathaniel agreed before leaning forward and letting go of Elissa's waist. He helped her get up and then stood himself, straightening his tunic and breeches. "It's my turn to train the men on running an arling, isn't it?"

Elissa smiled. "Yes, but I don't think you'll have much trouble. They got a good start yesterday and have fairly good instincts for the decision-making side of things. At least we save a lot of time by not having to try to act as matchmakers for them, like our parents tried to do to us."

Nathaniel laughed at that. "That _did_ take a large portion of our time growing up, didn't it? My father had only just started to try to marry me off advantageously before I went to the Free Marches, and even then he talked about it constantly." He shook his head. "I can only imagine how bad it was for you, being the only eligible teyrn's daughter in the country."

Elissa shuddered with the memory. "It was just awful. It was a constant stream of parents telling me how wonderful their sons were and how much they _adored_ me, while the boys in question would ask me who I was." Nathaniel laughed out loud again just as a question formed in her mind. "So," she asked slyly, "who did your father try to set you up with?"

Nathaniel looked at Elissa, affection evident in his eyes. "You don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what?" Elissa was confused.

"I met you once just before I was set up to squire. Well, Father brought me to the castle to meet you. I don't believe I said two words the entire visit." Nathaniel's eyes were twinkling.

"You did? I don't remember that at all." Elissa tilted her head, trying to remember. "I mean, I had known that you existed, of course, but I don't remember ever meeting you, even in passing."

Nathaniel chuckled. "That would be because you _terrified_ me at the time. I was incredibly shy and there you were – beautiful, confident and talented – and I had no idea what to do about you." Elissa felt her face heat up in embarrassment. "You didn't notice me because I think I spent more time hiding than I did trying to approach you." He stepped closer to Elissa, forcing her to lean her head back to continue looking in his eyes. "I got over it eventually." He smiled as he traced her jaw with his finger.

Elissa laughed, her voice surprisingly husky. "I'm glad you did."

"I am too." His finger lingered on her chin for a moment longer, and Elissa leaned forward slowly to kiss him. Just as she came close enough to feel his breath mingle with hers and started to close her eyes, he started walking toward the door. "I had better get started," he said, his voice teasing. He laughed softly as she muttered a curse under her breath. "Have a good morning, love." She narrowed her eyes at him as he retreated out of the room. _I'll get even with you, Ser._ But still, she had to smile.

-0-0-0-

_I could really use Erlina right now. Or Leliana, although she might try to put me in some pink monstrosity._ Elissa groaned to herself as she searched her nearly-empty wardrobe, yet again, for a dress that simply did not exist. _I can't believe I have only three dresses. Three! And none of them are appropriate for a wedding. If Mother was here, she would have my hide._ Frustrated, she sat down heavily on the edge of her bed.

"Well, there's nothing to be done except send for a dressmaker," she muttered. "I wonder if any of the merchants in the courtyard sell fabrics?" She _dreaded_ having clothes made. It was one of the reasons she chose to wear men's clothing most of the time – dresses were incredibly unwieldy and she usually felt like she could barely move in them, let alone stretch out on her sofa the way she liked to when she was resting. She also could care less about current fashion, which was a continual source of dismay for her mother as she was growing up. And then there were the endless fittings, with strangers fussing over her and sticking pins in her side and trying to kill her with those damned corsets and all the _layers_...

"There's no point in postponing it," she grumbled. "I just have to face it. This _has_ to be done." She reluctantly got up and took a deep breath, releasing it with a slow hiss, before turning to the door and going to face the trial before her. _I'd rather face a broodmother than do this._

She made her way down to the courtyard. The walk seemed entirely too short for her tastes. She went to the merchant stands in the courtyard and, lo and behold, there was a textile merchant there, wares presented for all to see. She sighed to herself. _So much for me being lucky. Guess I should pick something out._

A few minutes later, as she was staring blindly at the fabrics laid out before her, she heard someone approach. "You know, you look like you're about to be tossed into the Deep Roads with that look on your face." Elissa turned her head. Erna smiled at her and then looked down at the array of goods presented, rubbing a deep green, shiny cloth between her thumb and fingers. "These are really nice," she sighed. "I've never seen most of these fabrics."

Elissa sighed. "I need to get a dress made. A few of them, actually. And what I know about fashion is mostly limited to how long it takes to clean dried blood off my armor." At this, Erna laughed and looked at her.

"What do you need the dresses for?" she asked, smiling at Elissa.

"The Wardens have been invited to King Alistair's wedding," Elissa groaned. "And then there will be meetings, and there will be at least one party to attend ..." She closed her eyes and counted to ten. "Which means I have to sit through enough fittings to have at least four or five dresses made."

She heard Erna's laugh and opened her eyes again. "Now you _sound_ like you're marching off to your death," Erna teased. Then she noted a smooth, purple cloth and started to ask the merchant about it – how it was made, what it was usually used for, and a host of other questions that Elissa found hard to follow, based on their very nature. Along with a lack of fashion sense, Elissa had never been one to learn embroidery or sewing like many of the other noblewomen did. She found it incredibly boring.

But still, it _was_ interesting to watch Erna ask the merchant questions about the fabrics. She started placing fabrics together, and even Elissa had to admit the smooth purple one looked really nice next to the equally smooth cream-colored fabric. Erna circled around the merchant's stand, and the merchant had taken out a piece of vellum and started drawing something. Elissa watched, bemused, for a moment. _Erna is very good at putting people at ease._ Then she became aware that every now and then, Erna and the merchant took turns looking up at her, speculation in their gazes, before their heads turned back to their drawing. This made her highly suspicious. "What are you two doing?" she asked, her eyes narrowing as she spoke.

Erna looked up at her with flushed cheeks and an excited expression. "I think I know what I want to do on the surface!" she exclaimed. "My father taught me how to sew before he died. I _know_ I can make you some dresses, especially with these nice things!"

"Really?" Elissa asked, surprised. "I thought that dressmaking would be an artisan caste occupation – you were allowed to do that in Orzammar?"

Erna's face grew sad for a moment. "My father was artisan caste," she said. "But because I was born a girl ..." she shrugged, not needing to explain the rest. Then her expression warmed and she smiled in remembrance. "But he was really good to us when he was alive. He gave us money when he could, and he spent a lot of his free time in Dust Town. He taught me how to sew and brought us scraps of fabric when he could spare them. He even helped take care of Ragnar, and Ragnar wasn't his son. He taught us that even though we were casteless, we meant something to _him._ That meant a lot to us." Her eyes focused and she looked at Elissa, her eyes shining with confidence. "I started making all of our clothing when I was eight. I just know I can make you something nice. Let me try!"

Elissa couldn't help but smile at Erna's enthusiasm. "All right, we'll give it a try," she agreed, and Erna actually jumped up and down and clapped. "How long do you think you'll take to get a dress finished enough for us to see if it will work? If you do well on your first dress, I'd be happy to pay you the usual dressmaker's fee to have the rest made." At this, Erna's eyes grew as wide as saucers.

"I … wow! Really?" Elissa nodded, amused. "I can have the main seams done on the dress in just a couple of days. Is that going to be all right?"

Elissa did the time calculations in her head before answering. "That would be fine, actually. The wedding isn't for a few weeks yet. Do you really think you can get that much done so soon?"

Erna nodded enthusiastically. "I think so. The main seams will have to be longer than what I'm used to doing," and here she grinned, looking up at Elissa," but I can have enough done in a couple of days to know what I need to adjust." Then she looked at the table, specifically at the thread, scissors, needles, and all sorts of implements that Elissa wasn't even sure _had_ a function, although they looked important. It was then that she hesitated. "I … uh, well …." she blushed as she looked at the sewing supplies.

_Of course. She probably doesn't have anything._ Elissa smiled at Erna and then addressed the merchant. "Let her have whatever she wants," she said to the merchant, "and you can bill me directly." She looked at Erna again before turning back. "I'm sure she'll want fabrics and supplies to make herself and her brother some outfits as well." The merchant looked like he had just received a large and expensive present and nodded enthusiastically. When she turned back again to talk to Erna, she noticed that the dwarf's eyes had grown huge again. "Erna, Ragnar will need something to wear to the wedding as well. I assume you can make him something too?" Erna nodded, speechless for but a moment, and then the flow of questions started again.

"Do you have another dress that fits that I can borrow for measurements? What colors do you like? Can I measure you now? I need to – What should I do first? What do I need? How much can I spend? How much fabric should I use for the skirt? I want to use this purple silk – is that all right? Do you like having some of those fancy buttons and decorations on your clothing?"

Elissa laughed. "All right! All right! One question at a time!" She helped Erna collect all the things that she would need, which the now-smiling merchant helped gather, and then they took them up to Erna's room before going to Elissa's room for Erna to take measurements and borrow a dress. The entire time, Erna chatted on about sewing and Orzammar and how she would find scraps and remnants of old clothing and reuse anything salvageable, and how _nice_ it was to have entire _bolts_ of cloth and _spools_ of thread to work with, and how the purple silk would look just _beautiful_ against Elissa's skin and hair, and wouldn't Nathaniel _love_ it? By lunchtime, Elissa's ears were ringing, but she realized that it was the first time that she had done an initial measuring session for a dress and the time hadn't stood still.

-0-0-0-

Three days later, Elissa was standing with her arms out while Erna was lacing up the back of her first creation for Elissa. "All done," Erna announced. "Let me look at it."

Elissa looked down at the dress. Even unfinished, she found it impressive. The chemise was done except for the sleeve ends, and Erna had chosen to construct it in the cream silk that they both had admired. The bodice and skirt of the dress were the purple silk, and Erna promised that the embellishments would match perfectly. The dress was surprisingly lightweight and while it fit snugly, Elissa didn't feel like she was uncomfortably restricted.

"This is really comfortable!" Elissa exclaimed. "And I think you're right about the colors."

Erna surveyed her work with a critical eye. "It's not bad," she decided. "But I need to take it in a little at the waist, I think. Let me mark the sleeve and hem length while I'm here. The _next_ one will be even better!"

Elissa laughed. "You have plans for what you want to do next?"

Erna nodded enthusiastically. "There was this really pretty blue that I wanted to use, and the textile merchant helped me draw some other styles..." She suddenly looked at Elissa. "I can do more dresses, right?"

Elissa found herself nodding at Erna without even thinking about it. "Of course. This dress is turning out very well, and I know the next one will be easier for you since you're not used to making dresses for humans." At this, Erna clapped and started talking about colors and fabrics and "this dress should _really_ use frogs for closures" and "I can make a corset that goes with _everything_" and … Elissa didn't have the heart to ask what a frog was, but she trusted that Erna didn't mean the animal kind.

Erna pinned up the sleeves for Elissa and then had her stand on a chair so she could pin up the hem. Elissa stood dutifully and listened to Erna chatter away while she worked, happy as a lark, when a knock sounded at the door. Before she could invite the person to enter, the door opened. Nathaniel walked in and was followed by Ragnar.

When Nathaniel saw Elissa in the dress, his eyes widened slightly and he took a good long minute to look her over, head to toe. When his eyes returned to Elissa's, the look in them was one of pure male appreciation. "It suits you," was all he said, but the look in his eyes said all she needed to know and caused a warm feeling to pass through her. "I suppose I'm going to have to get something made to match."

At that, Erna turned around and clapped her hands again. "I know _just_ what to do!" she exclaimed and started talking at Nathaniel about ideas she had for a matching men's ensemble. Nathaniel dragged his eyes away from Elissa after a moment and started discussing design ideas with Erna. _It figures that he's comfortable talking about clothing. _Elissa smiled before looking at Ragnar.

Ragnar stood there, _staring_ at Elissa, and a blush stole over his cheeks. He stammered something unintelligible when he noticed Elissa paying attention to him before turning and making a hasty retreat. Bemused, Elissa said to herself, "Yes, I think this will work nicely."


	23. Cities and Farmlands

By the end of the week, they had settled into a routine. After breakfast, Elissa and Nathaniel would take turns training the rest of the Wardens how to run an arling, while the other actually ran the arling with Seneschal Kylon. Erna, now very busy with her fledgling seamstress business, spent the days sewing away, dragging off unwitting victims for clothing fittings as needed. Everyone would meet for lunch, then afternoons were for weapons and military training, with Oghren training the melee fighters and Nathaniel training the bowmen. Elissa would take this time, when she wasn't practicing herself, to deal with bookkeeping and correspondence, working one-on-one with one of the other Wardens to continue their training. During training time Anders would practice his spellcasting or make potions or enchantments as needed before getting some one-on-one practice with Oghren on using his staff as a defensive weapon. They would all meet again for dinner, and after dinner each person was left to his or her own devices. They would sometimes socialize, or take quiet time, or finish whatever still needed completing during the day. The rhythm they all found was comforting for Elissa in particular, who had missed this sort of normalcy from her time at Highever. She was pleased that it only took everyone a week to adjust to their new schedule.

That night, Nathaniel propped himself up on one elbow and looked at Elissa in the near-darkness. "I think I'll go to Amaranthine tomorrow," he murmured. "I'd like to meet my nephew and see my sister."

Elissa smiled. "That sounds good. You should take Anders with you, and maybe a couple of the others. They'll be glad to have something different to do."

"You won't be coming with me?" Nathaniel sounded surprised.

"I would love to, but I can't." Elissa sighed heavily. "I promised Erna that she could have me for extra time tomorrow to do the final fitting on that purple dress," she smiled at Nathaniel's noise of appreciation, "and I also promised Lord Eddelbreck that he could meet with me personally tomorrow. He wanted to go over the projected harvest numbers and I think he's going to ask me to lend him some soldiers to help the farmers harvest the crops."

"Oh, right. I'd forgotten about that," Nathaniel mused. "I can postpone the trip for a different day if you want to go?"

"No, you should go. You've been too long without seeing her as it is." Elissa reached a hand up and stroked Nathaniel's face. "Tell Delilah that I'm sorry I couldn't come, would you? And I'll try my hardest to go with you the next time." She grinned in the dark. "I'd just end up taking the baby away from all of you and not letting anyone else near, anyway. This way you'll actually get to _hold_ him."

Nathaniel chuckled. "It would be unseemly to be jealous. Of my nephew, that is," he agreed. Elissa laughed quietly. Then he leaned forward and whispered, "Well, since I'll be leaving early, I guess I had better take care of good-byes now." Elissa's response was cut off before it started, turning into a sigh as Nathaniel reminded her how skilled he was at making her forget what she was going to say.

-0-0-0-

"So, what you are looking for is really just additional patrols?" Elissa and Lord Eddelbrek were looking at a map of the arling together. "Say, here?" Elissa pointed to a spot on the map, "and maybe … along here?"

Eddelbrek nodded. "That would be most helpful. The patrols we have seen come through have definitely helped, my lady. On the main roads where the soldiers patrol regularly, the crops have remained largely untouched this season. It's the farms that are off the side roads that have had issues with pilfering."

Elissa leaned back a little and put her chin in her hand, supporting the arm with her other hand. "Hmm... how much loss do you think you're seeing? If it's not too much, it might make more sense to spread out the patrols we already have. I know it's not ideal, but I simply don't have the recruits that I need yet. If it makes everyone take just a tiny loss instead of a few farms taking a huge loss, it might make more sense to redistribute until I get more men trained."

Eddelbrek looked askance at Elissa. "I'm not sure I like the idea, my lady. We have a few farms where people are very unhappy, yes. But to anger the rest of the farmers … I'm not sure that either you or I want that to happen. We need to keep them from moving away." He sighed. "Those farms that are seeing theft are seeing a _lot_ of it. If we spread out the troops instead of augmenting them, you'll end up with another revolt on your hands like the unfortunate one you had last year during the food shortage."

Elissa nodded thoughtfully and leaned forward to look at the map again. She puzzled over it a while, then turned to Eddelbrek. "How about this? Instead of spreading out our patrols thinner over the roads, what if we got the farmers who are having the worst issues to act cooperatively?"

"I beg your pardon?" Eddelbrek looked confused.

"Here's my idea. After harvest season, most of the farmers are looking for work or resting, right?" At Eddelbrek's nod, she continued. "I propose that the farmsteads each send us their able-bodied men and women to train in weapons and basic fighting. _Not_ permanently," she raised a hand to stop the coming objection, "but during the off season. They can help patrol their own lands by taking turns policing the side roads, we gain an instant militia if the unthinkable happens and another war breaks out, and it will overall cost both the keep and the farmsteads far less in taxes and grain percentages than if I tried to actively recruit soldiers _just_ for patrolling the roads. That way I can spread out my highly-trained men more – each patrol can have one or two of my existing men, but the farmers can make up the difference – but none of the farms should see a serious increase in thievery and the farms that are hurting the worst now will have protection." Elissa leaned back again and watched Eddelbrek as he thought about what she said before adding, "I wouldn't be able to pay the farmers, but I would be able to offer them free training and maybe I can even figure out how to get them basic equipment."

Lord Eddelbrek pondered Elissa's proposal for a minute. He started out slowly, but warmed up as he spoke. "That _might_ work, but instead of saying that you're giving the farms free training, how about you increase the taxes for all the farms to cover the expense, then offer a discount on those taxes for those who volunteer to train and patrol?"

Elissa smiled. "You think like a merchant, Eddelbrek. I like the idea, though. That way it encourages volunteers while paying for the extra weapons and equipment. Let's keep the increase as low as we can manage, though; the arling can use the money, certainly, but I don't want to beggar these poor folk just as they're starting to feel like they're getting somewhere."

"Agreed, my lady. Your father would be proud of you if he could see you now." At this, Elissa smiled her thanks. Lord Eddelbrek stood and bowed to Elissa. "I shall take this to the farmsteads and get back to you so that we can work out the details."

"Thank you, Eddelbrek. And please give your regards to your family for me. I understand congratulations are in order for your daughter?"

"Why, yes! The wedding will- "

Just then, Erna burst through the door excitedly. "Elissa! It's done! You just have to … oh." She came to a sudden halt. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were in a meeting."

Elissa smiled at Erna. "It's all right, Erna. We were just finishing up. Lord Eddelbrek, may I present to you Erna, whose brother is one of our new Wardens. Erna here is our new seamstress for the keep." Eddelbrek nodded to Erna, who looked at Elissa helplessly, flustered as to what to do. After a moment of indecisiveness, she bowed to the lord, who chuckled.

"I take it you're from Orzammar, young lady?" At Erna's hesitant nod, he chuckled again. "It's all right. Surface customs must be strange to you, after all. I'm not offended." At this, Erna relaxed. Eddelbrek turned to Elissa. "A seamstress, you say? And a dwarf, at that! Dwarven craftsmanship is certainly renowned for a reason. Why, my daughter is still looking for a good dressmaker to sew her wedding gown. How is Miss Erna's work?"

Elissa grinned. "If you care to wait in the hall for a moment, Lord Eddelbrek, I can show you. It looks like Erna brought my new dress down here." She indicated the garment hanging on Erna's arm.

Eddelbrek nodded and went to wait in the hall, and Elissa closed the door while Erna smoothed out the dress. They quickly got Elissa changed into the garment and invited Eddelbrek back into the room. His eyes widened at the sight of the completed dress. "That is impressive work, young lady. Tell me, are you available to make a dress for late winter?"

Erna looked at Elissa helplessly again. _She doesn't know the seasons yet, right._ Elissa nodded to Erna and said, "That's about five months from now. Once we get back from the Landsmeet you would have three months to work on the dress." Elissa turned to Eddelbrek. "Erna just moved here from Orzammar, so she hasn't had the opportunity to see all the seasons yet." Eddelbrek's look went from confusion to understanding immediately.

Erna, for her part, smiled and bowed again. "I can certainly make a dress by then! Maybe ..." and she looked at Elissa uncertainly again, who nodded encouragingly, "maybe I can meet with your daughter after the Landsmeet to talk about what she would like to wear, and I can take her measurements then?"

Eddelbrek agreed that the timing would be suitable, so they made preliminary arrangements before he left. After a servant showed him out, Erna turned to Elissa and jumped up and down. "My first real job! I'm so excited!"

Elissa laughed. "Be prepared for a lot of requests after we return from the Landsmeet. Once everyone sees the Wardens wearing your work, you will be in high demand." At this, Erna's eyes opened wide and she ran off, babbling to herself excitedly about measurements and materials and a workshop and designs and a thousand other things that she was thinking of at the time. Elissa shook her head and smiled before closing the door, then set about the task of unlacing herself from her dress and changing back into her tunic and breeches.

-0-0-0-

"It's too sodding quiet today," Oghren grumbled for the fifth time as he picked up his tankard and took a long drink from it. "I'm bored. Where's the sodding action?"

"Be careful what you wish for," Elissa murmured, smiling without looking up from the page she was examining. "Besides, I'm almost done." She picked up a quill and crossed a couple of words out, then wrote a new phrase above it. "There. Your writing is getting better, Oghren. And I have to say, your daughter is going to know just as much about fighting as you by the time she's ten." She looked up and handed the page back to Oghren, smiling again.

Oghren looked at it. "Hey, you crossed out a lot less on this one. Not bad." He looked up at Elissa, his eyes twinkling. "Felsi said she's talking pretty good and she runs all over the place now. I figure this time next year I can put a sword in her hands." He rumbled out a laugh. "The first boy who tries anything with her is gonna be in for a _big_ surprise."

At this, Elissa had to laugh. "You sound like a father, Oghren!" At this, Oghren straightened a little and looked pleased with himself. He got up from his chair, taking the page with him.

"I'm gonna rewrite this and then check on my still again. Then maybe I'll leave a _surprise_ for ol' Sparkle-Fingers in his room for when he gets back." He grinned, the look of mischief in his eye unmistakeable. "Serves him right for leavin' me here to be bored." He guffawed to himself. "Maybe I can take some catnip and-"

"Don't tell me! I don't want to have to lie if he asks me about it!" Elissa laughed again as she got up from her seat. "If you don't tell me then-"

Just then, one of the guards came running into the study. "Commander, you need to come to the front gate, and quickly!" Elissa raised an eyebrow and looked at Oghren, who shrugged. She followed the guard, who started running back to the front of the keep. Oghren followed close on her heels.

"What is it?" she asked while they ran.

"The other Wardens were spotted coming back, and in a big hurry," the guard panted as he ran. "They have a wagon with them."

"Already?" Elissa didn't expect to see anyone back from Amaranthine until the next day. Concerned, she picked up the pace and passed the guard. Idly she noted that the guards needed to train more if she could pass them running that easily. "They've only been gone for several hours." She lost the guard's reply as she ran outside to see what was wrong.

The other Wardens hadn't made it as far as the keep yet, but Zevran came to the front gates on a horse, riding it at a full gallop. Elissa motioned to the guards to let him enter and he pulled up short, dismounting in one jump as the poor creature panted and shook, foaming at the mouth. He strode to Elissa and took her aside.

"What's wrong, Zev? What happened?" The look on Zevran's face, purposeful and angry, was so completely the opposite of how he presented himself that she went instantly into a state of alarm.

Zevran shoved a scroll into Elissa's hands. "Our enemies have made their next move," he said grimly. "They attacked Nathaniel's family."


	24. Moving Day

"Oh no." Elissa could actually feel her dismay as a tangible thing, weighting the air around her and making it difficult to breathe. "Not Delilah." She leaned heavily against the outer wall of the keep. "Were you able to stop them?"

Zevran muttered a curse in Antivan. "We were not able to save the husband, but everyone else lives. They killed him at his stand – very messy. Sloppy job." He swore again. "They sent nearly twenty men to take out a helpless woman and child."

At this, Elissa's dismay turned back to alarm. "What? _Twenty?_" Elissa searched Zevran's face. "Do you think they knew that you were protecting her?"

"I do not think so. But, a few of them were wearing guard uniforms. They are all dead now. I decided that we could not trust the city guard to keep Delilah and the baby safe, so they are on their way here with the Wardens." Zevran looked at Elissa calculatingly. "My friends will find out if anyone else is making a bonus salary and deal with them."

Elissa nodded at Zevran. "I'm glad you were there, Zev."

"We got lucky. If the other Wardens had not shown up when they did, it would have been a challenge for us." Zevran frowned and his face grew even darker. "They will be here in just a few minutes, my dear Elissa. Later, we need to discuss _that_." He nearly spat at the scroll he had given to Elissa. She nodded and tucked it away to read when things quieted down.

Just then, Oghren ran up to Elissa. "They're almost here." He noted Zevran's angry expression and looked surprised. He muttered, "Can't be good," before continuing. "They got a woman and baby with them."

Elissa nodded. "That's Delilah and her son. Please, Oghren, can you find some servants to clear my things out of the master bedroom? They'll need the space." Oghren ran off toward the keep and Elissa hurried back to the keep's front gates to meet the approaching group.

The cart was led by a pair of horses and Elissa could see Delilah huddled on the driver's seat, a bundle in her arms. Nathaniel was walking right next to Delilah's side of the cart, one hand holding on to the edge of the wagon. Erlina was sitting next to Delilah on the cart. Eric led the horses and Anders walked beside him. Elissa could just make out Ragnar behind the cart – apparently he was guarding the rear. The back of the cart looked like it was packed with a few necessary items.

The entire group walking toward the keep was silent, even Anders. There were still bloodstains on everyone's armor and clothing; apparently they hadn't stopped long enough to clean up. Everyone looked tired and careworn, except for Delilah, who sat completely silent with a detached expression on her face, and Nathaniel, who veered between concern when he looked up at Delilah and her bundle and a murderous expression when he looked anywhere else. Elissa ran forward and met them before they reached the gate.

She went straight to Nathaniel, who was carefully taking the wrapped bundle from Delilah. He handed it to her and she peeked in. The baby was sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of how his little world had just been upturned, one tiny fist poking out of the blanket and resting right by his face. Elissa couldn't help but touch a fingertip to that tiny fist. "So soft," she murmured to herself. The baby sighed in his sleep and then was still again.

Elissa looked up to see Erlina standing in front of her. Wordlessly, Erlina held out her arms and Elissa reluctantly handed over the baby. "We're going to set them up in the master suite," Elissa told her quietly. "We can meet as a group after we get them settled." Erlina nodded and started walking toward the keep, baby in hand.

Nathaniel was standing by his sister while the other men started unloading the cart. He had his arm around Delilah, holding her close to him, the war between concern and fury still battling on his face. As Elissa approached, Delilah looked up at Elissa and detached herself gently from her brother, coming to stand directly in front of Elissa. She still looked dazed and lost, but after a moment recognition shone in her eyes. Elissa didn't say anything at first; instead she took a step forward and hugged Delilah.

Delilah lost it.

The moment Elissa's arms wrapped around Delilah's shoulders, she felt a sob force its way out from Delilah's stomach and push all the way up until her voice gave it form. Once the first sound found its way through her system, more followed its lead until Delilah fell to her knees. Elissa knelt in front of her, rubbing her back and whispering, "I'm sorry, so sorry," and let her cry out her torment. Elissa looked up at Nathaniel; he stood there, staring at the two of them, an unreadable expression on his face. When he noticed Elissa watching him, he crouched by the two women and cupped Elissa's cheek briefly. He nodded at her in thanks before rising and helping the other men collect Delilah's things and take them into the keep.

It took Delilah several minutes to let the worst of her initial grief pass. When her crying slowed, she nodded her head at Elissa and leaned back onto her heels. Elissa fished in her pocket for a handkerchief and gave it to Delilah so that she could dry her eyes. When Delilah finally looked up, Elissa was somewhat relieved to see that the numbness had passed, even though it had been replaced by a deep sadness.

"Thank you." Delilah's voice was raspy from crying. "I needed that." She stood with some help from Elissa and started to walk slowly toward the keep. Elissa walked with her. Just before they reached the gates to the inner courtyard, Delilah stopped. "We … we brought Albert with us." Her voice was still a bit raspy, but had improved slightly. "I'd like to … to say goodbye properly, if we can?"

"Of course we can. Just let us know when and we'll make arrangements."

Delilah nodded. "Maybe … in the morning? I don't think … I don't think I can do it today." Elissa rubbed her back to reassure her and nodded, and they started walking again.

It didn't take very long for them to make their way to the living quarters, but when they arrived at the master suite, they found that the servants had packed all of Elissa's things and removed them from the room, changed the bedding on the bed, and cleaned the room. They were putting Delilah's things away already and had even set up the crib. They worked so efficiently and quietly that the little tiny baby snores coming from the crib could be heard easily. Nathaniel was standing over the crib, watching the baby sleep, and Erlina was helping the servants by quietly directing them where to put Delilah's things.

Delilah walked straight to Nathaniel and waited for him to turn to face her before hugging him. He rubbed her back and they talked to each other so quietly that Elissa couldn't hear them, then Delilah let go of her brother and did the same with Erlina. When she was finished, she sat on the edge of her bed and watched Erlina dismiss the servants. Delilah turned back to Elissa and said, "I want to unpack the rest of my things and think for a while. Thank you for making me feel at home."

Elissa smiled sadly at Delilah. "You will always be welcome here, Delilah. This is your home as much as it is ours. Do you want us to send your dinner up to you?"

Delilah thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No. I … I think it will be better for both of us to be around other people. We'll come down for dinner." She looked at the crib and through the sadness an expression of adoration emerged. "Little Samuel hasn't met everyone yet." She looked back at Elissa. "I know you want to meet with the other Wardens to … to talk about today. Please, go ahead. I'll be all right." She waved all three Wardens out of the room. Elissa stepped into the hall first, followed by Erlina, then Nathaniel.

As soon as Nathaniel closed the door, Elissa thought she heard a stifled sob come from the room. The fleeting expression of anguish on Nathaniel's face confirmed what she heard, but he motioned Elissa away from the door. "She needs this," he whispered. Elissa could do little else besides nod and turn away in response.

"Erlina, will you please let the other Wardens and Zev know that I'd like to meet with them in the study in an hour?" Elissa asked.

"Of course, Elissa. We will see you then." Erlina turned and walked down the hallway, leaving Elissa alone with Nathaniel. As soon as she disappeared around a corner, Nathaniel grabbed Elissa's hand and pulled her down the hallway.

_Where are we going?_ Elissa didn't have time to voice her thought before Nathaniel led her to his room and dragged her inside, shutting the door and pinning her up against it. He sagged against her, one arm around her waist, the other at the nape of her neck, and then went still. Elissa held him, smoothing her hands over his back, while he took several deep breaths. After a few minutes, he seemed considerably calmer.

"Bad day." His voice came out almost too low for Elissa to hear. She nodded and gave him a gentle squeeze, then he stood a bit straighter and released her before dropping unceremoniously onto a chair.

"I understand," Elissa replied, moving to sit on the other chair. "If I was you, I'd be ..." Her voice trailed off as she glanced around the room and realized that her belongings covered Nathaniel's bed and table. "I'm sorry, Nathaniel. The servants dropped all my things in here. I'll get them to move them out so you can-"

"No." It wasn't like Nathaniel to interrupt. Surprised, Elissa looked at Nathaniel's face. His expression was unyielding and his tone demanding. "I told them to put your things in here. You will be staying in here with me."

Elissa was sure her eyebrows must have disappeared into her hair at Nathaniel's command. _And I don't get a say in this? _"Shouldn't we have discussed this? I don't mind the idea, but this is the sort of decision we should be making _together_."

He continued to stare at her, almost challengingly, while she watched him to try to figure out why he was suddenly acting so domineering. She tried to keep her face neutral and waited for his response, not sure where to direct the conversation next. The minutes passed by, each side refusing to yield to the other, until finally Elissa decided that it was ridiculous to sit there and just stare. She got up from her chair and knelt in front of Nathaniel, noting that his eyes never left hers, although they did soften slightly as she leaned on his knees.

"I know today has been awful. But we've both had bad days before, and I'd like to think that neither of us has tried to tell the other what to do," she said softly. "This isn't like you, Nathaniel. I just want to know what brought this about." She covered his hand with hers. "Please, talk to me."

He didn't answer immediately. Instead, his eyes searched hers, as if he needed to find some information hidden within. After another moment or two, he relaxed, apparently satisfied somewhat with what he saw, and turned his hand over to clasp hers. He took a deep breath. "Look, I just need ..." He paused again and closed his eyes, opening them to focus on hers. He looked and acted less demanding now and more like his usual self. "The entire time we were fighting off Delilah's attackers, and afterward, all I could think about was whether the attack was supposed to be a distraction. What if they had thought to draw you out there, to try to kill _you?_ Or worse, what if they were trying to get us away from you in order to attack you here?" His head dropped back. "I know you can handle yourself, and that, in reality, it probably doesn't make much difference, but knowing you'll be in my bed for certain every night is … reassuring." He squeezed her hand. "Please stay in here with me."

At Nathaniel's change in tone, Elissa herself relaxed. She smiled up at Nathaniel. "Well, it _would_ be more practical to keep our things in the same room," she mused, "since we're in the same bed every night _anyway_." She sighed, pretending to be put out. "I suppose it will have to do." Nathaniel looked down at her, one eyebrow raised, and seeing her smile back at him, he shook his head and smiled slightly. She reached up and placed her hand on his cheek. As he leaned into her hand, she added, "I just have one request." Her tone was suddenly serious.

Nathaniel's eyebrow raised again. "What is it?"

Elissa sighed. "I hope you don't mind, but ..." she jerked her head to the back corner of Nathaniel's room. "I … don't think I'm ready to wake up to see your father's portrait. I know it's just a painting, but ..." she shrugged.

Nathaniel relaxed again. "Consider it done. To be honest, sometimes seeing it hang there makes me angry." He leaned forward and cupped Elissa's face in his hands before giving her a quick kiss. He leaned his forehead against hers and murmured, "let's move you in before our meeting, shall we?"


	25. The Meeting

Zevran was angry enough to spit. Elissa was sure of it. His face still held the scowl it had when he had arrived at the keep and her familiarity with her elven friend picked up a restlessness that the casual observer might not have noticed.

"This is outrageous," he announced. Elissa blinked in surprise.

"I admit, the situation is bad," she said, "but outrageous? We expected that something would happen, even prepared for what we thought was a distant possibility of Delilah-"

"Look at the scroll." Zevran's face darkened a little more. "_That_ is what outrages me, my friend."

In all the confusion, Elissa had forgotten about the scroll. It had already been opened, but she noticed the seal with a raised eyebrow. _That's the Cousland seal._ The seal was rough around the edges, but it was definitely the family coat-of-arms. She quickly unrolled the scroll and looked at the signature first. "That's my name at the bottom but it's not my handwriting," she murmured, frowning in consternation. She started at the top of the missive. _This is dated from a week ago._

As she read through the scroll, she felt increasingly colder. By the end, her anger had nearly matched Zevran's. "You know I didn't do this." She handed the scroll back to Zevran. "I would _never_ do something like this. I fight my _own _battles and I have no issues with Delilah."

"_What?"_ Nathaniel snatched the scroll from Zevran and opened it. "What's going on?" He started to read it as Zevran nodded at Elissa.

"I know you wouldn't. That entire scroll is a forgery." Zevran gave the offending parchment a dirty look before continuing. "Do you remember the scrolls you saw when we were in Denerim?"

"I do. Wait ..." she thought back to the Crow contracts their group had helped fulfill during the blight. "None of them were signed!"

"That is correct, my dear." Zevran turned to face her. "This document is a forgery of a master-client contract. The entire situation has _nothing_ to do with the Crows, in fact." He began to count off the inconsistencies, punctuating each one with an angry poke of index finger to palm. "A signed copy would never go out of the guild master or an _intelligent_ client's hands. No guild master would send _twenty_ men out to do the job that _one_ apprentice could easily handle. No crow _apprentice, _for that matter, would be careless enough to cause that much public bloodshed. Those clumsy oafs were little more than drunken idiots. And to leave so much evidence behind ..." Zevran's eyes flashed. "The entire situation is an insult of the highest order."

"So, wait. Am I hearing this correctly?" Eric looked utterly confused. "Someone sent out a large group of people and tried to pass them off as Antivan _Crows?"_ He shook his head. "And they went after Nathaniel's sister?"

"Yes." Erlina was angry too. "One of the fools had that contract with him. He was one of the ones who came into Lady Delilah's house. I think that they were going to use the contract to make it look like Elissa had ordered the killing." In her upset, her Orlesian accent was stronger than usual and it took a minute for the rest of the group to catch on to what she said. When they did, it was as if the entire room had darkened under the weight of a stormcloud. _We can't lose control of ourselves. Not right now._ Elissa cleared her throat to get everyone's attention before the shouting started.

"So a large group of men, some dressed as Amaranthine guards, attacked and killed Albert and tried to assassinate Delilah as well. It also looked like they were planning to plant this false contract somewhere in the house?" Both Zevran and Erlina nodded their heads. "Were they trying to start a riot?"

Anders' eyes grew wide. "Of course," he said, his voice unsteady. "Make a big distraction, then in the confusion …." His look grew distressed. "That's horrible!"

"And afterward, when the _guards_ were cleaning up, they could find the _evidence_," Nathaniel sneered as he rolled up the scroll and tossed it across the room onto the desk. He continued glaring at the scroll as he continued. "It has got to be Vaughan again. He would have no problem dragging innocent people into his plans. Do we have proof yet?"

"Not yet. But we will." Zevran's voice rang with conviction. "It is harder to infiltrate his estate than most others. I am trying not to put females and elves there, but he does not hire many men. I have one person there at present." He smiled then, his face twisting horribly. "She has … _unusual_ tastes, and so she volunteered for the position."

Elissa shuddered. "If she hasn't already become so, she will be one of Vaughan's favorite servants soon." Eric and Anders paled at the observation and Nathaniel's face darkened further.

"Yes, the slimy bastard has already noticed her." Zevran nodded. "I want more people there to find information while she keeps him _distracted_, however, and that is proving difficult." His brow furrowed and he started to pace. "I find it concerning that we know he is behind all this, yet he has left no proof for us to come after him yet. And believe me when I say I _know_ it is him."

Ragnar had been sitting quietly up to this point, but now decided to join in. "It's a warning." He shrugged. "Jarvia did it to scare merchants."

At this, Elissa's eyes widened. "That son of a bitch _wants_ us to know he's after us," she breathed. "He knows that as long as it's his word against ours he'll be safe."

"And if we let the Dark Wolf or the Crows … handle this … for us, then he no doubt has plans in place to implicate you directly, my dear," Zevran murmured to Elissa. "Or Nathaniel."

Elissa remembered the contract. "Zev, he's somehow made a false signet ring." She went to the desk and picked up the scroll. She looked at the seal on it again. "Yes, the edges are too rough. Somehow he made a copy of the Cousland seal." She looked up at Nathaniel, suddenly distressed. "How many signet rings did your family have?"

"Just the one." Nathaniel raised his hand to show the ring on his pinky, flashing in the lamplight. "Father never trusted anyone else to have one."

Elissa was never more glad that she remembered to retrieve the ring when she killed Rendon. _But … _ "If he found anything with the Howe seal on it, there might be a copy of that too. We'll have to watch for that." She sighed. "Word hasn't gotten out about the extent of my troubles with Fergus. This contract was dated a week ago and I no longer have a signet ring. That is the sole defense I would have had if this had been discovered by anyone else."

Zevran nodded. "I understand." He looked thoughtful, then his face cleared. "I believe I can find help. May I borrow that contract?" Elissa nodded and handed it to him. "I think there is a certain merchant in Denerim who would be _very_ interested in its contents." Zevran smiled for the first time that day, a wicked glint entering his eyes.

Elissa couldn't help herself; she laughed. "Ignacio is bound to be twice as angry as you are about Vaughan's attempt to associate that mess with the Crows. We can't hire him for this, though; I'm sure Vaughan has false evidence somewhere safe."

"I do not plan to hire him, my dear," Zevran grinned, his carefree demeanor resurfacing. Elissa realized she had missed seeing it. "But, as any master of his art would do, he would want to ensure that his reputation remains at its usual high standards. I am certain that once he is made aware of this stain upon his honor that he would want to rectify it on his own." His grin turned wolfish. "I know that is what _I_ would do under the circumstances. Perhaps he would be willing to lend me one of his sneakier men to assist us."

"That sounds good, Zev. Maker watch over you." Zevran bowed and left the room. She muttered, almost to herself, "One of these days you'll be able to _stay_ with us."

"What now, Elissa? We gotta _do_ something." Oghren never was one to sit patiently. "I don't wanna be caught with my pants down." Then he laughed, his signature leer choosing to show itself at that moment. "Well, I wouldn't mind being caught with my pants down, but not by that blighter."

"There's not a lot we _can_ do until we can learn of his plans." Elissa frowned. "But ..." the thought made her smile a little, "the fact that we've thwarted him twice now, and cost him a lot of money in the process, is bound to _infuriate_ him. I suggest we continue on as is and maintain our guard. We'll protect Delilah and Samuel here better than in the city, and Zev's already got people in Cousland Castle to keep watch over Fergus. The less obvious we are, the better."

"He'll think that we don't see him as a threat and he'll get angry," Eric noted.

"Exactly. And when he gets angry, he'll make a mistake." Elissa nodded, then sighed. "I don't like being on the defensive any more than you do, Oghren, but until we have something we can work with ..." She shrugged. "As soon as we have some usable information we'll plan what to do. In the meantime, we'll have to see what happens."

Oghren muttered to himself and opened his flask, and even Ragnar allowed a brief expression of unease at Elissa's statement. Erlina excused herself, saying she needed to check on Delilah and the baby, and with that the other Wardens started to leave as well. Nathaniel stalked off without saying a word.

_Do I follow him? Would he _want_ that?_ Elissa stood, undecided. _He'll either go to the training grounds or his room. OUR room. _She was going to have to get used to thinking that way. Considering everything else they were dealing with, it was a nice problem to have. She waited a few minutes, then decided she would look for Nathaniel in his (their, she reminded herself) room first. She walked into the hall and made her way toward the living quarters.

She opened the door, but she felt resistance. Slowly and carefully, she forced the door open so she could look inside. _It's a mess!_ She was so shocked she nearly let the door fall closed. _Did someone sneak in and rummage through our things?_

She gingerly pushed the door open enough to slip through. Once inside, she looked at the chaos. Books were strewn about the room and Nathaniel's odds and ends were also missing from their shelves. From the looks of the smashed piles on the edges of the room, Elissa guessed that they had been thrown at the walls. Papers were scattered as if a windstorm had swept through, and the bed was upended, leaning haphazardly on its side with the mattress laying on the floor. Surprisingly, Elissa's things looked untouched.

Nathaniel was sitting, sprawled in one of the chairs, slouching with his head in his hand. He looked like he had just collapsed there. Elissa made her way to him, pushing debris out of her way with her feet, and knelt in front of him. "Nathaniel! Are you all right? What happened here?" She leaned forward against the chair, her waist between his knees, and put her hands on his thighs. "Did someone break in?"

"No. No, this was me." Nathaniel moved his hand away from his face. Elissa didn't think she had ever seen him so tired. "I'm better now. I was … in a bit of a temper." He looked around the room, then shook his head. "Apparently I needed to work off some energy. I'll clean it up."

_Bad day, indeed. _Elissa was glad that nobody had ransacked their room, but she was concerned about Nathaniel's state of mind if he was willing to destroy his own things. She studied his face as he stared off into the room, his expression now vacant. He looked like he couldn't even muster the energy to be angry any more. _He must have really needed to let it go. I just hope that it worked_. _I know of one way to find out if it did … _Elissa pushed herself up to a standing position, then perched herself on Nathaniel's knees. He put his hands on her hips to help steady her as he watched her, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. "The next time you need to work off some energy, you should let me help." Elissa grinned wickedly at Nathaniel as his expression changed, slowly, from exhausted to interested.

"I'll have to remember that," he murmured as he drew Elissa closer, shifting forward in the chair. She wound a hand into his hair, massaging his neck at the base of his skull, and he groaned as he pulled her lips to his. The battle for dominance started almost immediately, and Elissa's eyes fell closed without her permission as Nathaniel moaned softly and started trailing kisses down her neck.

She wasn't prepared for when Nathaniel stood and she nearly fell backward as he suddenly lunged from the chair. He pulled her to him, steadying her _just_ enough to stand on her own before letting go and grabbing the hem of the tunic she wore. He yanked it over her head and threw it off to the side, the cloth still sailing as they took turns with the straps of his armor, trying to get him _out_ of it as soon as possible.

It must have only taken a minute to get their clothing off, but Elissa was _very_ relieved to be free of the obstruction._ Finally!_ Nathaniel must have thought so too, because he sighed in relief at exactly the same time she did. She looked up to see Nathaniel wearing a smirk that she was certain matched hers, and then he tilted her head a little more and captured her lips again, aggressively causing her to forget why they were smiling in the first place. He lifted her up, holding her in place while her legs wrapped around his hips. She could feel him walking …

...Until, suddenly, they were falling. Her head and back made contact with something soft just as she heard a soft "oof" and Nathaniel landed on top of her. Thankfully, he braced himself with his arms so that he didn't crush her with his weight. Puzzled and distracted, she blinked. _Why is the world sideways?_ She looked up at Nathaniel, who looked at her with the corners of his mouth twitching. "I tripped," he explained. The twitch turned into a smile. "This room is a _mess_." She looked to the side and realized they had fallen on the mattress that was upside-down on the floor, then up to Nathaniel again. She felt her own mouth twitching briefly before both of them started to laugh.

Just as their laughter turned to quiet chuckles, Nathaniel stroked Elissa's hair and his eyes grew soft. He opened his mouth and took in a breath to speak, only Elissa heard _Eric's_ voice saying, "Nathaniel, do you – MAKER'S BREATH!" Then the door to the room slammed. Elissa started laughing again. Between giggles, she managed to get out, "Forgot … door … open ..." at which point, Nathaniel laid his head down on Elissa's shoulder and started laughing again too.

After they both calmed down again, Nathaniel propped himself up on his elbows while still lying on top of Elissa. "Bad day," he said, setting them both off again.

It took a few minutes for them to stop laughing, especially since one or the other would say something that was _really_ meant to be serious, but somehow sounded _wrong_ when it came out. Like when Elissa pointed out that poor Eric must have been surprised by stating that he probably had never seen naked people before, or when Nathaniel _meant_ to comment how he was glad that he didn't hurt Elissa in the fall, but instead said, "We're lucky I didn't impale you when I tripped." They were both too tired and had been through too much that day to be rational. Finally (finally!) they quieted and Nathaniel rolled over to his back, freeing Elissa, and then they both sat up.

"I have a feeling we might as well get dressed," he said, and stood, holding out a hand to help Elissa stand as well. He gathered her in close and kissed her once, soundly, before reluctantly letting go of her and looking around for his clothes. "I think that someone is telling me to clean my room."

Elissa chuckled as she spotted her smallclothes over by the chair. "I'll help. Do you want to rearrange the furniture while we're at it?"


	26. 8 Letters in 6 Weeks

_Lady Elissa,_

_My dear friend, it has been entirely too long since we last spoke. I hope that this letter finds you and the other Grey Wardens in good health and the ongoing reconstruction of the keep moving along smoothly._

_I would like to extend an invitation to you and those of your order who plan on staying in Denerim for the upcoming Landsmeet and King Alistair's wedding. I understand that neither the Grey Warden compound nor the Amaranthine estates in Denerim have been restored yet, understandably so since you have been tirelessly working on rebuilding Amaranthine City and Vigil's Keep. Rather than have you spend weeks in an inn, I would be honored if you and your men would consider staying as my guests at the Redcliffe estate. I have ample space, as you are well aware, and it would truly be my pleasure to offer it to you and yours._

_I plan on arriving at the estate about a month before the wedding in order to be prepared for the numerous meetings and social gatherings that this momentous occasion calls for, so please feel free to join me there at your leisure. I look forward to your response and pray that you will accept my humble offer._

_Sincerely,_

_Teagan_

-0-0-0-

_Hello, love._

_It seems that I will be delayed in Amaranthine. Nothing is wrong – you have no need to worry. I have chosen to aid Constable Aidan in his investigation of the attack on Delilah and her family, and as these things often do, the investigation is taking a little longer than expected. I will be delayed only by an extra day or two, but I knew you would want to know of my change in schedule._

_Please tell Delilah that I have been able to pack all of the things that she wanted the most. Our good friend, Ser Wolfe, has agreed to pack the rest and send them to the keep over the next week or so. I will bring the most important items when I return._

_Oghren and Anders are up to their usual idiocy as I write this. Oghren has promised to teach Anders some dwarven drinking songs. Apparently, in order to learn the songs one must first become falling-down drunk. Or perhaps that is the only state in which Oghren will remember the songs. Either way, I am reminded of why I prefer quiet evenings with you. Enjoying good conversation and a bottle of wine with a beautiful woman is infinitely preferable to being subjected to this inane caterwauling._

_I will be home in a few days, love, and when I arrive I plan to demonstrate how much I have missed your company. See you soon._

_-N._

-0-0-0-

_To the Warden-Commander of Ferelden, Warden Elissa:_

_I have received your report on your encounter with the darkspawn known as the Architect. While I understand that it was a difficult decision to make, I question the wisdom of your decision to allow such a creature to go free. While the Architect shows some measure of intelligence and states that its goals are the same as ours, it is still a darkspawn and it can cause complications in the future. If you encounter this creature again, I strongly encourage you to deal with it as you would any other darkspawn. I have also begun to send out groups to the Deep Roads to attempt to intercept and neutralize this emissary. _

_I have also received your current roster of members, and while I understand your caution in recruiting, you must supplement your numbers at a greater rate. A handful of Wardens in an entire country is not enough should, Maker forbid, another Blight begin in Ferelden, even with your apparent and uncanny ability to escape near-impossible situations intact. I am certain that you do not need to be warned of the potential disaster should you face problems with the Architect, another Archdemon, or the child conceived at the end of the last blight. Should you face any combination of the above, given your controversial decisions on those matters, you must be well aware of the potential devastation should there be insufficient Wardens to combat the problem. To that end, I strongly encourage you to work toward having your numbers doubled, ideally tripled, in a year's time. Your popularity in your country at present and your political sway need to be leveraged in order to bolster the order as soon as possible. You have done an excellent job thus far of endearing yourself and the Grey Wardens to the population of Ferelden, which is the primary reason you were given the position of Warden-Commander, and you must take advantage of that while it lasts._

_Lastly, about your personal inquiry: It has long been Grey Warden policy that should an active Warden conceive a child, that child needs to be given away when born to the non-Warden parent or, failing that, to a caretaker who will not be distracted from Grey Warden business. It is necessary to avoid taking away from the focus of fighting the darkspawn and remaining vigilant in case of darkspawn emerging on the surface. I understand that you are unable to personally conceive a child, but taking care of children while acting as the Warden-Commander would only serve to distract you from your greater duty to build your numbers and fight should the need arise. Therefore, your request to adopt a child is denied. _

_Maker watch over you, Warden. You have much to accomplish. I hope that you have sufficient time in which to achieve your goals before the darkspawn threaten again._

_Sincerely,_

_Warden Gustav,_

_First Warden, Weisshaupt Fortress_

-0-0-0-

_To the Warden-Commander of Ferelden:_

_Thank you for informing me of Ser Eric Bryant's recruitment into the Grey Wardens. I appreciate that you made a point to directly tell me that he is a member of your order now._

_I must confess, I would rather you had met with me to discuss his recruitment before allowing him to join you. I might have suggested other candidates who might have proved more suitable to your ranks, although I understand you are quite pleased with his conduct thus far. In the future, I would greatly appreciate if we communicated the appropriateness of potential candidates before you recruit them._

_Regarding Ser Bryant's needs, I can not stress enough that your discretion in his medical needs is paramount. I understand that you are aware of this already, and I am quite glad that you are taking appropriate and necessary steps to ensure his continued health. Accordingly, I have allotted Ser Bryant medical supplies which the Chantry will send to you directly each month, based on the length of time since he took his oaths as a templar. _

_I view this arrangement as a test, Commander. While I am not pleased that I was not informed of these occurrences beforehand, I will be interested to see what comes of this partnership between our holy knights and the Grey Wardens. That you have, multiple times, had to personally defeat abominations and maleficar has been noted, so having a templar among your ranks may prove beneficial to keep Warden mages under control. Also, having a templar to combat darkspawn magic does have its merits, at least in theory. Provided you continue to pursue the Maker's work, this situation may work to both of our benefit._

_I will reserve judgment on how this all works for now. I pray to the Maker that this benefits both the Chantry and the Wardens. Maker watch over you, Warden. _

_Sincerely,_

_Mother Colleen,_

_Grand Cleric of Ferelden_

-0-0-0-

_To Lady Elissa, Warden-Commander:_

_Greetings, my lady. I am writing you on behalf of King Alistair to inform you that he intends to hold a meeting to discuss the upcoming Landsmeet. He would like for you to attend this meeting, as your recent experiences and travels through the country can, perhaps, shed additional light on the political climate in Ferelden at the moment. Also, your continued popularity with the common folk of Ferelden and your unique position as both acting Arlessa of Amaranthine and Warden-Commander dictate that yours continues to be an important voice in Ferelden politics, and so His Majesty would like to meet with you and other important persons to prepare for the Landsmeet. He would like to avoid any unnecessary surprises._

_If you would be so kind as to send word to the royal palace when you arrive in Denerim, we will set up a meeting between yourself and King Alistair, Teyrn Cousland and Arl Guerrin to work through the Landsmeet agenda. Thank you, and Maker bless you, my lady._

_Sincerely,_

_Eamon Guerrin,_

_Chancellor of Ferelden_

-0-0-0-

_My lovely Warden,_

_Our friend Ser Wolfe sends his regards. I have been staying with him recently, as you know, and his business has increased incredibly of late. He has has even hired new assistants because his business has improved. Marvelous! Amaranthine is a city second only to Denerim for its opportunities, it seems. Ah, to prosperity!_

_Ser Wolfe is still looking to increase his influence, however. He seems to think you could use his goods at Vigil's Keep, and so has decided to send you some of his finest craftsmen to you in the hopes that you will find their work agreeable to your high standards. They are very good at their work, and Ser Wolfe hopes that you will be able to utilize their skills as you rebuild the keep. If they are as good as I think that they are, you should find that your job is considerably easier. At least, that is what I told Ser Wolfe._

_Alas, my dear, I will not be able to return to you immediately - I have already promised Ser Wolfe that I will help him to try to find work opportunities in our country's capital and will be heading there shortly to evaluate his chances of success in the city. After all, if one can expand business in Denerim, one is guaranteed to be successful! I also have some merchants with whom I need to do business, and they stay in the capitol this time of year. Therefore, I will attempt to catch up with you there. At least your fellow Wardens have returned to you already from Amaranthine, so you will not be too lonely without me. _

_I hope to see you soon in Denerim, my lovely friend. Please make sure to bring your most flattering dresses and save some dances for me._

_Ever yours,_

_Z._

-0-0-0-

_To the Warden-Commander and Hero of Ferelden:_

_I wish to warn you, my lady. There are evil plans afoot. I can not say more, or who I am, for fear of discovery and retribution. My position is tenuous at best, and even as I write this I risk persecution for wanting to see the right thing done._

_Please be careful, my lady, especially as you enter Denerim for the upcoming events with the other nobles. Not everyone remembers your heroism during the blight, and some would have you fall to advance themselves. To have the person who saved our country and who aided in its restoration harmed in any way makes me ill. _

_I pray for you, my lady. Maker watch over you._

-0-0-0-

_Lady Elissa,_

_My dear friend, while I appreciate your concern about aligning myself with you politically, I am sure that you are aware that I do not concern myself with petty political grievances. I am far more interested in the truth. It is true that we are friends, is it not? As you have proven to be a friend to myself and my family in the past, so I will stand by you now as your friend._

_My brother said, with my full agreement, that you and your people will always be welcome at any of Redcliffe's estates, and I intend for you to always, always feel welcome in my home. In fact, I insist that you stay with me while in Denerim – after all, you are the Champion of Redcliffe in addition to your many other titles and it is only right that you feel at home as I do at the estate._

_Just let me know how many people you intend to bring with you and I will make all the necessary arrangements. I look forward to seeing you soon._

_Sincerely,_

_Teagan_


	27. Going to Denerim

"Are you sure you don't want to come to Denerim?" Elissa was sitting on one of the chairs in what was formerly her room, now Delilah's, watching Delilah take care of her baby. "We're not leaving until morning, so you have time to get ready."

"I'm sure." Delilah smiled gently at Elissa as she finished feeding her child and perched him on her shoulder to burp him. "The very last thing I want to do right now is spend a lot of time making small talk with nobles who will sneer at me because of Father, while wearing uncomfortable dresses and pretending that I remember their names. The entire time I would just worry about whether Samuel is all right or if he needs a feeding and is sleeping well."

Elissa chuckled. "Well, when you put it that way, maybe I should stay here with you." She smiled as Delilah laughed at her. "Seriously, I do worry that you'll be lonely. We'll be gone for quite a while, and there aren't all that many other women here. Are you sure you'll be all right here?" She looked closely at Delilah and noted her eyes, which looked tired. "You haven't been alone since … since you came here," she finished quietly. "I'm worried that it will be hard on you."

Delilah looked at her with understanding in her eyes. "I'll be all right," she said softly. "I do miss Albert terribly, it's true. But it's getting close to two months gone by since then." Elissa thought she looked sad, but not unbearably so. "Besides, I have Samuel to keep me company." The baby burped and Delilah gave his back one last pat before tucking him into her arms. The baby squirmed and fussed. "He's been cranky today," Delilah noted. "He didn't want to sleep last night either."

"I can watch him for you for a while," Elissa offered. "That way you can get a nap before we leave. I'll ask Kylon to watch out for you, of course, while we're gone, but getting him to babysit might not work out so well." Elissa smiled at Delilah.

Delilah thought for a moment, then handed the baby over to Elissa. "The fact that Samuel is a baby has nothing to do with it, I'm sure." Delilah looked at her knowingly, then got out a small blanket and handed that to Elissa as well. "I could certainly stand to get some sleep. Thank you. He didn't eat much, so if he's hungry, just bring him to me and I can take care of it."

"We'll be fine, won't we?" Elissa held little Samuel with one arm while putting her finger where his tiny fist could grab it. The baby complied and studied her hand solemnly, turning it over so he could see its entirety. "He can help me with my paperwork." At this, Delilah shook her head and snorted. Elissa absconded with the child, closing the bedroom door behind her and carrying him out of the living quarters as she talked to him about being a Warden and how he was getting to be a big boy and that there were lots of pretty shiny things in her study and Kylon could handle the paperwork anyway, couldn't he? Samuel, for his part, grumbled and inspected her rings with little grabby hands that tried to remove her jewelry and attempted to force tiny fingers into her mouth to touch her teeth as she spoke. They were having a lovely time.

Elissa reached the study and sat down with Samuel, cuddling him up against her. He fussed quite a bit, but eventually settled down and rested his head on Elissa's shoulder, sucking his thumb as he went to sleep. She sat, watching the baby while she patted his back and stroked his hair and completely ignored everything she was supposed to be doing.

"I'm surprised you managed to get him away from Delilah for more than five minutes." Nathaniel's voice, pitched low to avoid waking the baby, caught Elissa's attention. He came into the room, perching on the edge of her desk and watching the baby for a minute before looking at Elissa's face. He surprised her as his expression turned wistful and he reached out a hand to stroke her cheek. "The look on your face when you're holding Samuel … I wish I could give you your own."

Touched, Elissa closed her eyes and pressed her lips to the palm of Nathaniel's hand before responding. "I do too, but it was not meant to be, I guess." She thought carefully before continuing. "Do you want children? You know I can't have children at all," she had to stop speaking for a moment and compose herself, "so if it's important to you, I … I'm willing to … make adjustments." She held her breath as she awaited his response.

Nathaniel's expression grew horrified, then determined. He shook his head firmly. "No. I would _never_ do that to you." His face softened and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. "Besides, it's far too much fun to get to play with the baby then hand him over once he becomes difficult." Elissa laughed softly at the observation and relaxed.

"I had to ask. I didn't want you to go without something for my sake that was important to you."

"Having my own children was never important to me." Nathaniel smiled at Elissa. "Since Delilah has ensured that the family line will continue, I have no personal need to do the same." He lowered his voice. "If it had been possible to have children with _you_, it would have been a different matter entirely."

Elissa didn't know what to say; she felt like her heart might burst out of her chest at any moment. She had to settle, instead, for smiling like a fool at Nathaniel. He seemed to understand; his smile grew and his eyes softened before he changed the subject.

"Eric received a crate from the Chantry today," he said conversationally. "You should have seen the quantity of lyrium they sent." He frowned. "Elissa, the amount they sent … you said that the Grand Cleric said they would send a month's worth at a time?"

Elissa nodded and cleared her throat gently to ensure she would be able to speak. "Yes, why? Did they not send enough?"

"No, that's just the thing." Nathaniel's frown grew further. "If that amount wasn't enough, I'm surprised lyrium usage hasn't killed Eric."

"What do you mean? How much did they send?"

"They sent enough lyrium to make about two hundred _strong_ lyrium potions." Elissa gasped as Nathaniel stood and started pacing. "Elissa, the Chantry – Eric took his vows what? A decade, maybe a dozen years ago? They're poisoning their men. The quantity of lyirum to make that many potions every _month_ is enough to drive a person mad. I'm glad, for Eric's sake, that he has resisted the addiction as well as he has and is trying to wean off of it."

"Maker's breath! No wonder Alistair was so glad he avoided having to start taking it!" Elissa exclaimed. "That's _insane._" She did the calculations in her head. "For Eric, isn't that much lyrium about four years' worth?"

Nathaniel nodded. "Yes. Another few months of deliveries and Eric will have enough lyrium to keep him going until he reaches his Calling."

Elissa shuddered. "That's horrible. It explains a lot about some of the templars we've seen, though." Nathaniel nodded and they both fell silent. Elissa went back to watching the baby sleep as she thought about everything Nathaniel had said. Nathaniel continued pacing.

-0-0-0-

"How long will it take to get to Denerim, Elissa? I've never been there before!" Erna sounded excited.

"It will be a few days."

"It'd sodding take a lot less time if we didn't have to carry all these sodding _clothes_ with us. Why can't we just wear our armor?"

"Because, Oghren," the tone was exasperated as if this question had been repeatedly asked, "we have several functions to attend and we have to dress appropriately."

"Besides, dwarf, you'll need something to change into after you vomit all over yourself."

"Yeah, whatever, pretty boy. I notice you brought every single set of robes you own. You might as well have packed the wardrobe too!"

"Well, you know how it is, Oghren. I want to be ready to take all the ladies dancing every night."

"Dancing? Dancing is for chumps, not warriors!"

"Actually, dancing is excellent for improving your footwork." Nathaniel was not about to let that one slide. "Without good footwork, dodging attacks and getting in dagger hits is very difficult. Dancing teaches you to be light on your feet."

"Besides, think about it. You're dancing with all those women, and at your height, you get to look right at-"

"Anders! There are ladies present!"

"Eh, Elissa doesn't mind." Anders responded to Eric with a wave of his hand. "She's used to it."

Eric sighed. "There are _other_ ladies present as well." He looked pointedly at Erlina and Erna. Erna snickered and Erlina shook her head resignedly.

"Hey, Elissa! Did you hear that? Eric called me a _lady_." Erna started laughing heartily. "He's _funny."_

Eric just sighed.

-0-0-0-

"Did we _all_ have to come?"

"Oghren, I thought you _wanted_ to come! You said you wanted to see Teagan!"

"That's because I'm gonna win that bet this time! I almost won that son of a whore's bet at the coronation. This time, I won't drink so much before I start. I'm _guaranteed _to win!"

"You're going to try to drink a barrel of pickle juice … again?"

"I was down to the dregs. If I hadn't had those fifteen ales before, I'd have been three sovereigns richer."

Anders actually gagged a little while Erlina and Eric turned pale. Nathaniel just blinked. "Oghren … that's _disgusting! _I am _not_ healing you when you get a stomachache."

"I didn't get sick last time!" A loud guffaw, followed by a belch, sounded.

"I bet you smelled like garlic for a week afterward. That's _foul_, Oghren, even for you." Nathaniel looked disgusted. Ragnar, on the other hand, looked impressed.

-0-0-0-

"Heh heh heh. Hey, Erna? How's about you and I sneak off behind some bushes and-"

"No thank you, Oghren." The tone was overly sweet. "I don't feel like having a drink today." Erna snickered at Oghren's crestfallen expression.

"Leave her alone, old man!" Ragnar's voice sounded threatening, as it usually did when anyone tried to proposition his sister.

"Why do you call Oghren 'old man' all the time?" Elissa was curious.

"Because I'm twice his sodding age, that's why."

"What? _Really_?" Elissa actually stopped walking and looked at the two male dwarves. "How old are you, Ragnar?"

"I'll be eighteen next month." He sounded defensive. Elissa stood there with her mouth hanging open. _He's so young! Maker's breath!_

"I never would have guessed that. I thought you were twenty or so." Elissa shook her head and resumed walking.

Ragnar stood a little straighter and smiled briefly.

-0-0-0-

"What can we do in Denerim? Ooh, I want to see what a surface tavern looks like! Do they carry dwarven ale on the surface? I miss dwarven ale, even though I hardly ever got to have any in Orzammar. Do you think I'll get a lot of orders for new gowns and men's clothing? Are there good cloth merchants in the city? What's the inside of a Chantry look like? I've never seen one! You were a templar, right Eric? What's it like? Those suits of armor must be heavy with those long skirts attached. Why _do_ they use those skirts, anyway? Do they get cold or something? I wonder if I could get any business making those skirts for the templars. Are they just sewn, or do you stitch in the designs too? Oh, I hope I brought enough materials. What else can you buy there …?"

Nobody could get a word in edgewise to answer her.

-0-0-0-

A sigh. "I'm worried about Delilah."

"She said she'd be fine. Besides, she was right that she'd just end up spending most of her time taking care of Samuel, and the rest worrying about him. Kylon will keep an eye out for her, and Zev's men are still there."

"I know that. But still ..." Nathaniel frowned a little. "We're going to be too far away to help if something happens."

"She might be worse off in Teagan's estate. We don't know it well enough to protect her adequately there, and we can't exactly bring our own guardsmen."

"I suppose." Nathaniel sighed again and fell silent. Elissa put a hand on his arm to comfort him.

-0-0-0-

"So, you're not a templar any more, are ya?"

"I suppose I'm not. Why do you ask?"

"Does that mean you can finally get to grease the bronto? Roll your oats? Tap the midnight still? Form the beast with two backs?"

"Hey, that last one is new for you." Elissa raised an eyebrow.

"I heard it from some surfacer. Liked it, so I remembered it. Anyway, you need to experience _life_." He snickered.

"Well … I'll keep that in mind, if I ever find the right woman."

"What about Erlina?"

"WHAT?" Erlina's speech devolved into a string of angry Orlesian as Eric's eyes grew wide.

"Oghren, are you insinuating that Erlina …?"

"She's a bard, ain't she? And bards are _supposed_ to be into that seduction stuff. Me, I think she's too skinny, but ..." He shrugged.

"That's only one _small_ part of being a bard, Oghren!" Erlina hissed. "Just because _some_ bards spend all their time on their backs doesn't mean we _all_ do!" She stomped ahead and Eric moved over to the other side of the road. Anders' face slowly formed a wide grin before he broke into a run.

"Hey, Erlina! Wait up!"

-0-0-0-

Teagan met them at the gates to the estate. "Welcome, my friends! Please, come in. You must be tired after your journey." He smiled at Elissa before taking her hand and kissing it. "It is good to see you again, Elissa. You're looking well."

"As you are, Teagan. Thank you for letting us stay with you." Elissa smiled back.

Teagan waved away the thanks. "It is nothing. This estate would be empty without people to fill it, and I'd rather you and your people were here than someone else. I hope your trip was uneventful?"

Elissa smiled. "More or less."


	28. First Day in Teagan's Estate

A/N: This chapter contains content that is *definitely* NSFW. If that's not a problem, then I hope you enjoy!

Elissa knocked on the door to Teagan's study. "Come in," she heard. She opened the door and entered the room, stopping just a few feet from Teagan as he rose to greet her. He gestured to the pair of wingback chairs that were placed in front of the fireplace and they both sat.

"Were you all right settling in?" he asked her amiably. "Is everything to your liking? Can I get you or your men anything?"

"Everything is wonderful, Teagan," Elissa reassured him as she smiled. He nodded his head and smiled back as she continued. "I was wondering if I could borrow some stationery and ink. I need to inform the King that we have arrived."

"Ah, that has already been taken care of." Teagan stretched out his legs in front of him, crossing them at the ankles. "I sent a messenger over when you arrived and received word back already from the palace. We're to meet with Alistair, Fergus and Eamon the day after tomorrow."

Elissa raised her eyebrows. "That was quick. Did they tell you their agenda for this meeting? What I received was rather … vague." _And overly formal and demanding, but there's no need to get into that with Teagan._ "Since the Landsmeet itself is a little over two weeks from now, I didn't expect this meeting to happen so quickly." She watched him steeple his fingers, tapping them against his mouth while he formulated his reply. He seemed to be in deep contemplation, although it only took him a few moments to respond.

"Eamon told me the basics of your arguments with Fergus and Alistair," he said carefully. Elissa nodded; she would have been surprised had Alistair _not_ confided in his chancellor and sometime foster father, and even more surprised had Eamon not shared his concerns with Teagan, especially since Teagan was housing her during this trip. Seeing that she wasn't upset about this revelation, Teagan continued. "Knowing my brother, he organized this meeting so that everyone could hopefully clear the air and move forward. I am certain he will want to try to arrange a compromise."

Elissa sighed and shook her head. "I will attend, of course, but I don't see how a compromise can be reached. I seriously doubt that Fergus will back down on his position regarding Nathaniel, and I made Alistair very angry with me in Orzammar." She sighed. "I am not willing to give up Nathaniel to suit their whims, although it will be good to try to talk to them regarding other conflicts that affect us."

"Are you referring to the attempt on Fergus' life that you stopped?" Teagan raised an eyebrow. "Have you learned anything more about that?"

"I am. And I haven't learned any more about that particular incident, although there have been new issues." She explained the attempt on Delilah and her family in Amaranthine and the anonymous note she had received a few weeks earlier. Teagan's eyes widened as she described what had happened.

"So you are expecting trouble here in Denerim?" Teagan leaned forward in his chair and his expression changed to concern. "Should I increase the guard?"

Elissa shook her head. "Actually, no. I already have help in and around the city keeping an eye on things," she explained, "and a large part of our strategy is to try to stay alert but make it appear that we are not concerned. If Vaughan _is_ involved in all this, and if I understand the type of person he is, this will push him to make a mistake."

Teagan thought for a moment, then smiled. "You intend to anger him and make him careless."

Elissa returned the smile. "Just so. I don't want to put you or anyone else here in danger, of course, but so far the strategy has been to attack someone close to one of us and try to frame the other for the deed. It has become obvious to me that it's not yet common knowledge that Nathaniel and I are together." She sighed. "I am assuming that by next week, once we've been seen together at a few events, the strategy will change, but I am also hoping that we will be able to obtain sort of proof before more people get hurt."

Teagan shook his head. "I do not envy you the task," he murmured. "But speaking of events, one of the banns, Ferrenly, invited all of us to a dinner tomorrow. He said something about knowing Anders when I spoke with him."

Elissa shrugged. "It's entirely possible. Anders has met quite a few people in his travels." She nodded. "The Wardens should go. If he does know Anders, we could use that to our advantage."

Teagan nodded. "I will let him know that we will attend, then." They both stood and Teagan walked Elissa to the door. Before opening it for her, he hesitated. "Elissa," his voice was unsure, "I am concerned for you and Nathaniel. It's likely that Eamon will try to propose a political alliance through marriage ..."

Elissa narrowed her eyes. "Eamon can go soak his head." At this, Teagan started, but then shook his head and smiled. Elissa continued, "He married Isolde, after all. He, more than anyone, should understand being in a relationship despite political interests. And as a Warden, being in a political marriage only makes things _more_ complicated if my duties conflict with my spouse's position." She shook her head. "That won't happen. Just as Alistair would never have kept me on the side, so I will never do that to Nathaniel."

Teagan nodded and opened the door. "I understand." He smiled and Elissa started to step out of the study, but then stopped and turned to her host.

"Thank you again, Teagan. I'm very lucky to call you a friend." Elissa laid a hand on Teagan's arm before leaving the study and heading back to her room.

When she entered her room, Nathaniel was there waiting for her. He studied her face as she walked toward him. "How was it?" he asked.

"It was fine. I have to meet with them in a couple of days. Teagan thinks Eamon organized it so that we can present a united front to the Landsmeet." Elissa bent over to remove the nice looking, yet incredibly uncomfortable, shoes she had chosen to wear with her dress that day.

He nodded. "That makes sense. If we can manage it, that will strengthen our position."

"Exactly." Elissa sighed as she stood back up. "Assuming, of course, that coming to terms with my brother and Alistair is even possible." She took a deep breath and released it slowly. "This should be an interesting Landsmeet."

"Come here." Nathaniel put his arms around Elissa when she came close enough for him to reach her. She closed her eyes, drawing from his strength, and leaned into him as he unpinned her hair and ran his fingers over her scalp. As he combed his fingers through her hair, she sighed and snuggled in closer.

"That feels nice," she murmured into his collarbone. She could feel her shoulders relaxing, the knots loosening as Nathaniel continued the soothing motion.

"Your hair is soft," he whispered. "It feels like silk." He continued to hold her while stroking her hair. She didn't know how much time passed, but after a while, she noticed that his hands were venturing lower and lower and his breathing had quickened slightly.

She looked up at him as she asked, teasingly, "I didn't know my hair had grown so long it was touching my bottom." She noticed his eyes were not focused on her, but were looking beyond at a point behind her. "What is it?"

Nathaniel looked down at her before turning her around. "Look," he said quietly, his voice slightly rough. She looked up at him again, turning her head sideways to see him still looking forward, then followed his gaze. There was a full-length mirror there with ornate carving all around the edge. She looked at the reflection of herself and leaned backward against Nathaniel, who had one arm wrapped around her waist and the other on her shoulder. He was standing slightly off to the side behind her, so she could see his entire face. _I like how we look together._

He leaned forward a little and whispered in her ear, "I want to show you something. Watch the mirror." His breath tickled her ear, making her shiver. In the mirror, she saw him lean forward, the vision in front of her matching the sensation of his breath ghosting over her neck, then her ear again, just as he took her earlobe into his mouth and gently bit down. She gasped as he nibbled on her ear and focused on trying to stay on her feet. He let go of her earlobe and brushed his nose against the outer shell of her ear, making her gasp. "Yes, love. That. Your response - it's beautiful. Take a look."

She realized belatedly that her eyes had fallen shut and forced them to open with some struggle. (Somehow, it felt like her eyelids had each gained ten pounds.) When she got them halfway open, she saw what he was talking about. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glassy, and she could _see_ herself melting, molding her back against Nathaniel's chest. His arm around her waist tightened, thankfully; otherwise she would have found herself lying on the floor. She let her head fall back onto Nathaniel's shoulder and put her hands on the arm keeping her aloft. He watched her the entire time, capturing her gaze in the mirror with gleaming, half-lidded eyes. "Oh," she breathed, her voice sounding almost like a moan. He closed his eyes momentarily when he heard the sound and groaned, then reached behind her with his free hand and quickly undid the laces on her dress. Elissa was _very_ glad that she had decided to wear a simple dress that day.

"Can you stand?" He smiled as he whispered in her ear. "I want to get this off you." She laughed breathlessly and nodded, not trusting her voice, and he quickly pulled the dress up and over her head. Her knees buckled a little, but he was able to catch her around her waist and pull her to him again. He removed her breast binding with his free hand and she helped him push her smallclothes off her hips and let them fall to the ground.

She watched him, then, as he kept the arm around her waist firm to hold her against him and ran his fingers over her skin with the other hand. Together, they watched his hand trace over her shoulder, follow down her arm, cup a breast; he seemed entranced as he followed every plane and hollow of her body. Everywhere he touched, he left a trail of fire that started with his fingertips and ended at her core, causing her legs to tremble and her head to, once more, fall back until it rested on his shoulder.

"So lovely," he murmured. He ran his palm over her hip. "So soft." He traced the vertical scar right in the center of her abdomen, her souvenir from the archdemon. "So strong." He moved his hand downward and suddenly, the trail of fire focused into a single, overwhelmingly brilliant spot. His voice faltered, then turned rough, "so _hot_." He curled his fingers into her at the same time that he began devouring the pulse point on her neck.

She think she might have cried out, but she wasn't sure. All she knew was that all of a sudden, she was kneeling on the floor, her back still pressed against Nathaniel's chest, her legs straddling his. The arm that had been holding her waist had shifted – now it was across her torso, with Nathaniel's wrist between her breasts and his hand splayed over her heart. His other hand was still covering her most intimate place, his fingers pressing and sliding and pushing and it felt so _good_, so _overwhelming,_ that she thought she might die from the intensity. She could feel his breath, hot and fast, by her ear. "Look," he commanded quietly.

She lifted her eyes to the mirror to see her flush had spread to her chest and her mouth had dropped open. Her chest was heaving and her legs were trembling, and somehow, at some point, she had reached down and grabbed Nathaniel's pant legs and was holding on to them for dear life. Nathaniel was not unaffected – his lips were swollen and parted, his breathing labored, and while the hand that was wreaking havoc with her insides was moving strongly and steadily, she could feel the press of his need against the small of her back and the occasional shift of his hips when he failed to control his instinct. The one constant was his eyes, still gleaming, still predatory, and once she looked at them she was irrevocably caught by them.

"Natha-_ohhhhhh..."_ She felt like she was losing her mind as Nathaniel shifted his hand and suddenly her back arched on its own, her grip on his clothing just didn't seem to be _enough _to keep her from falling, it was so _hard_ to breathe …

"Let go, love. I want to watch you fall apart." His voice by her ear cracked, just a little, and it sent her over the edge and made her _fly._ She heard a keening sound, only belatedly realizing that it was _her_ making it, and she spasmed and gasped and the only things keeping her on the ground were Nathaniel's eyes and his arm and she thought that her heart had stopped from _everything._ It lasted forever and for only a moment, her mind shut down but was aware of everything all at once, she was outside herself looking in and inside herself looking out, and all along she could hear him mumur in her ear, "Yes, _yes_ love … let _go _..."

She collapsed against him, but only for a moment before he pushed her forward. Her elbows wobbled a little as she put her arms out to keep from smashing her own face on the floor, and she looked up into the mirror to see him throw his shirt aside and yank his breeches down off his hips. He grabbed her almost roughly and pulled her back to fit together with him, and all she could do was gasp out his name as she went soaring, _again_, as he moaned and drove forward into her repeatedly. He held her eyes with his until the intensity in them transformed to glassiness and he pulled on her hips one last time, groaning out her name in a broken voice and holding them both still until their combined shaking forced them to lay down on the bare stone floor before they fell.

It took several minutes for Elissa to catch her breath. When she finally realized that she was able to speak, she tested her voice to find that it came out husky. "I think we need to put a mirror in our room at home."

Nathaniel laughed, his voice still sounding rougher than usual as well, and she could feel the vibration in his chest. "I think we might accidentally kill each other if we do." He pulled her flush against him, his body keeping hers warm on the cold floor, and she felt his lips kissing up and down her neck. She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes so that she could enjoy the sensation even more.

Unfortunately, the moment ended all too soon. She felt Nathaniel shift and his warmth left her, so she rolled on her back to see him sitting up, looking at her with soft eyes. "We have to get ready for dinner soon, love." He smiled at her and pulled his breeches back up, helping her stand and steady herself while she grumbled about having to be sociable when all she wanted to do was go take a nap. He made up for it by kissing her senseless and winding his hands into her hair, however, and soon she forgot what she was complaining about.

They were only slightly late for dinner, as it turned out, and the food was probably very nice. She didn't remember what she ate because every time she looked across the table, she saw Nathaniel's eyes and her insides turned to jelly all over again.


	29. Bann Ferrenly's Estate

"I would like to propose a toast to our guests of honor tonight," Bann Ferrenly said as he stood and raised his goblet high into the air. _Uh oh, here it comes. _The simple dinner that Elissa was expecting for the day after their arrival had become … complicated … once Bann Ferrenly learned that the Grey Wardens, and Elissa in particular, had accepted his invitation. Now, instead of a dozen or so people sitting around one table, they had a veritable banquet with over a hundred guests, all of whom wanted to meet Elissa and the other Wardens. Teagan had taken Elissa aside and apologized – he had no idea that the once-simple affair would turn into an extravagant _event_. Elissa had just shaken her head and smiled wryly, reassuring Teagan that she wasn't offended. It was actually somewhat reassuring that there were banns and arls who felt that her company was worth an impromptu formal gathering such as this.

But, here they were, all of the Ferelden Wardens and Erna (once it became a huge affair there was no way they would leave her behind), sitting at the head table, surrounding Bann Ferrenly as he began the toast to start off dinner.

"My friends and welcome guests, I have been blessed by the Maker himself on this night. Sitting with me are people who gladly put the needs of Ferelden - nay, all of Thedas, ahead of their own. They have saved us time and again from bandits and darkspawn and have lived to continue to safeguard our people!" _That's not a bad start, actually, if a bit theatrical. _Elissa let her eyes wander as much as propriety allowed. Many of the nobles assembled seemed transfixed, although some were already bored by the dramatics that were on display. _I can't say I blame them._ Very few of the nobles gathered looked outright unhappy, but they caught her attention as they unsuccessfully tried to hide their glares toward the head table. Vaughan Urien happened to be one of them. Elissa made a mental note to warn the other Wardens of his presence and turned her attention back to the bann.

"One of these brave souls requires his own commendation. He personally saved me from bandits several years ago, and I wanted to let him know that I have never forgotten the kindness he bestowed on me in my hour of need. It greatly pleases me to see that the Grey Wardens have seen in him the same qualities that brought him to my aid on a long, dark stretch of road so long ago. Thank you, Anders, and may the Maker watch over you." Anders stood briefly and bowed to the now-applauding room before sitting back in his chair. Elissa was surprised to see that he actually looked a little flustered. _He's not used to being called out for his good behavior. _Elissa smiled at him then turned back to Ferrenly as the noble waited for the applause to die down.

"This good man's commander is known to all of Thedas by now," he said, and turned so that he was partly facing where Elissa sat. "This woman, the Hero of Ferelden,"

_One._

"The Defeater of the Blight,"

_Two._

"The Warden-Commander of Ferelden,"

_Three._

"The Arlessa and Savior of Amaranthine,"

_Nice. He put those two together._ _He should be done soon. _Elissa glanced at the other Wardens to see Anders silently counting the titles himself, Oghren grinning, Nathaniel just barely not rolling his eyes, and the others looking like they were about to fall over in shock. Erna and Ragnar were particularly wide-eyed.

"Friend to the King and sister of the Teyrn of Highever,"

_Ouch. I hope he doesn't emphasize that any more._

"And a particularly lovely and gracious woman in her own right,"

_Huh. I wasn't expecting that. _Anders grinned at her with a raised eyebrow and Oghren snickered. _At least those two will keep my ego from inflating._

"May I present to you, my friends, Lady Elissa Cousland!" Elissa stood, making sure to keep a pleasant expression on her face, as the nobles burst into applause again. She briefly curtseyed to the room before walking to Bann Ferrenly and standing next to him. He put his hand on the small of her back and, while they were waiting for the applause to settle, asked her, "Will you say something, my lady?"

"Of course, Bann Ferrenly." Elissa let the applause die down and then raised her goblet. She then raised her voice to address the assembled guests. "Please, just call me Elissa." She smiled as several of the nobles present laughed. Anders said something under his breath then winced as Nathaniel shifted. It looked like Nathaniel had kicked him under the table. "Friends and fellow countrymen, I thank each and every one of you for your assistance during the past few years. You have not only lent your own soldiers and arms to help us defeat the blight, but you also assisted us when Vigil's Keep and the city of Amaranthine were assaulted not so long ago. Without your generous aid, one of our country's finest cities would never have recovered; as it stands, Amaranthine is rebuilt far better than it was before the blight and the keep is coming along quite well. I am truly humbled and honored to live and serve in this great country." At this, she put the goblet to her lips and drank, signaling to the room that they should do the same. She made her way back to her seat and lowered herself gracefully as applause broke out again.

Ferrenly turned to the side and made a motion with his hand, and servants came pouring into the room carrying covered trays. They served each table in turn, starting with the head table, and lifted the lids to reveal delicious-smelling entrees of lamb and fish and vegetables. Elissa could practically see the other Wardens' mouths watering. Surprisingly, she wasn't hungry, although she made a token effort to eat the meal in front of her. _I must have eaten too much before the party._

Teagan leaned over to speak to her quietly. "Your men are still hungry?" His voice held a tone of disbelief. "I thought after that early dinner at the estate that they wouldn't be able to finish the meal here." Indeed, the Wardens were all eating faster than the servants could put food down on the table. Nathaniel and Erlina were managing to show proper manners, but even they were eating quickly, clearing their plates of anything edible.

Elissa smiled into her plate. "They might need to eat again after we get home," she replied. "It's a Warden thing."

Teagan chuckled. "And here I thought it was just Alistair who ate like that. You're not wolfing down your food," he pointed out.

"I'm actually not hungry." Elissa was still surprised about her lack of appetite. _Maybe it's nerves_. She took another forkful of food and looked at it. "It's unusual - normally I'm keeping up with Oghren." The dwarf in question was thoroughly enjoying his meal, washing it down with large amounts of wine. He was definitely keeping the servants busy. Teagan chuckled again and returned to his food.

After dinner, Elissa made sure to mingle with all the assorted guests, answering questions and generally allowing herself to be led around the party by Bann Ferrenly. Nathaniel accompanied her much of the time, excusing himself every now and again to make sure that the other Wardens were enjoying themselves, or in the case of Oghren, not overdoing the drink too much. She liked Bann Ferrenly; he was a large, boisterous man with a large, boisterous beard to match and a head full of unruly black hair. She suspected that no matter what he did, the fuzzy mop on top of his head was going to stick out at all angles. Once he got over the theatrics, he was actually quite easy to talk to and shared a number of amusing stories with her and his other guests. He also was adept at steering conversations to safe topics if they became awkward, which Elissa greatly appreciated. She had been trained to do such, but had stopped practicing the art years before in favor of speaking her mind. The Bann's assistance was remarkably helpful in keeping her from inadvertently offending his guests.

While mingling, the bann would also murmur the relationships between nobles to her, which she also found quite helpful. As the night wore on, she found herself greatly reassured that many of the nobles seemed to acknowledge Nathaniel as a Grey Warden first, and his lineage seemed to only be a secondary concern. Some nobles even seemed impressed that Nathaniel would join the Grey Wardens and work willingly under Elissa's command. Neither she or Nathaniel was inclined to inform them that he had been conscripted.

Bann Gilmore was one such noble. "My lady," he said politely as Bann Ferrenly introduced him to Elissa. He raised his eyebrows briefly when the bann introduced Nathaniel, but quickly recovered. Once he learned that Nathaniel was not only the second-highest ranking Warden in the country, but that Nathaniel was also sincerely offering him apologies and condolences for the death of his eldest son, he relaxed considerably.

"There's no need to apologize to me, ser Howe," he said. He peered intently at Nathaniel as he spoke. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I do understand that you were out of the country when Highever was attacked by your father's men and that you were not involved." He changed the subject. "How do you like being a Grey Warden?"

Nathaniel answered immediately. "There is nothing else that I would rather do, my lord," he said, his tone and expression sincere. "I think that it is quite possibly the best use of my time and skills. It has truly been an honor thus far." Lord Gilmore looked pleased with Nathaniel's answer and clapped him on the back before turning to Elissa.

"I must ask you one question," he said cautiously.

"Absolutely, my lord. What is it?"

"Did you … did you see my boy? Do you know how he …?" Lord Gilmore's eyes were a little misty as he asked the question.

Elissa put a hand on Lord Gilmore's arm and stepped in a little closer to shield his face from view of the room. "I did. He was a hero, my lord. He personally led the group of men who barricaded the castle doors with their own bodies to buy me time to escape." At that, Lord Gilmore stood a little straighter and a look of pride entered his eyes. "Rory was my best friend in that entire castle. I will always miss him." Elissa stepped away to give Lord Gilmore his personal space now that she was assured he wouldn't lose his composure.

"Thank you, my dear," he said. "He was always fond of you as well. We were proud your family held him in such high regard." He smiled sadly at Elissa, then changed the subject. "I shouldn't keep you from the other guests. I hope we can speak again soon." The exchanged their temporary good-byes and moved farther into the room.

Nathaniel excused himself at this point to cover more ground, so to speak, and Elissa continued making the rounds with Bann Ferrenly. They spoke to several more people before Ferrently grumbled under his breath, then pasted on a fake smile.

"What is it?" she asked quietly but didn't require an answer. Vaughan Urien was walking toward them, his expression disdainful and his eyes menacing. She raised her voice. "Arl Urien, it is good to see you again." For Ferrenly's sake, she hoped that this meeting would be reasonably peaceful. Judging by the amount that Vaughan was swaying, and the reek of alcohol on his breath, she doubted this would be the case, but it was nice to hope.

She needn't have bothered. "So iss the bitch who ssaved uss all!" Vaughan slurred, his tone mocking and angry. He was also speaking too loudly, if the mutters and stares of the surrounding guests were any indication. "Ssso bloody _sspecial_," he continued, his voice rising in volume as he sneered.

"I will remind you that you are a guest in this home," Ferrenly started to say angrily, but Elissa put a hand on his arm and shook her head. _Let him have the rope he needs to hang himself._ She turned back to Vaughan and kept her voice calm and pleasant. "Arl Urien, surely we can be civil..."

"I don't go by Urien. That ba...basstard ..." Several gasps sounded around them. Vaughan's father had been a well-respected and popular man; Vaughan was not earning himself any friends this evening. "That basstard was too much of a boot-licker, juss like all of YOU." He pointed in an indiscriminate direction. "I'm Vaughan _Kendallsss_...an' don't you forget it!" He faced Elissa again, his eyes unfocused. He looked her up and down with a leer on his face. "Ssslut'ss prolly not even good for the only thing women're good for," and he swayed a little. "I bet she'sss got ssscarss everywhere."

"Enough of this!" Bann Ferrenly was angry. He motioned to one of the guards stationed in the corner of the room. "Take this idiot away and let him sleep it off at home. I don't need fools here who cannot control themselves." He looked at Vaughan with disdain as a pair of guards came and grabbed the drunk man's flailing arms and began to drag him off.

"You're not gettin' rid of me ssso eassily!" Vaughan shouted as he was led unceremoniously out of the party. "You'll get whass comin' to you bitch! And the Howe brat too!" The guards started walking faster as Ferrenly turned to Elissa. Vaughan continued to shout insults and threats as he was dragged away, his voice growing quieter with more distance, and the party returned to normal.

"I apologize for the outburst, Lady Elissa," he started to say. Elissa shushed him and smiled.

"It's all right, Bann Ferrenly. I dare say that Arl Kendalls caused his own troubles this evening." The observation made the bann laugh.

"This is true, this is true." The Bann took Elissa's elbow and steered her toward another part of the room. "You haven't had the chance to speak with Arl Wulff yet, have you?"

At the end of the night, after they all returned to Teagan's estate and had eaten yet another meal, they got ready for bed. Elissa had developed a slight headache, so she was lying in bed quietly while Nate finished preparing for bed. He slid into bed beside her and pulled her against him, stroking her hair.

"Tonight went better than I thought it would," he admitted quietly. "I think that we have fewer people angry with us than we thought."

Elissa nodded. "Definitely. The ones who are angry with us are _really_ angry, though, so we need to watch them. Did you notice Zev was there? He was dressed as a servant."

Nathaniel chuckled quietly. "I knew there was something I hadn't mentioned yet. He told me to let you know to expect him at the meeting tomorrow. Apparently he wants to join you when you and Teagan go to the palace."

"Hmm, that's actually a very good idea." Elissa snuggled into Nathaniel's chest and put her arm around his waist. Her eyes were so heavy she thought she might fall asleep at any point, despite her headache. "We will see what tomorrow brings, I suppose." She let her eyes close and drifted off as Nathaniel continued to stroke her hair.


	30. Meeting at the Palace

Elissa was nervous. And tense. And nervous. She pushed the food around on her plate, unable to force herself to eat even one bite of the hearty breakfast that Teagan's cook had prepared for all of them. She finally gave up and looked around her at the table.

Nathaniel was looking at her every so often, a look of concern on his face. She caught his eye and shrugged. There was nothing to be done if, to her, all the food looked and tasted like ash. He looked like he was considering saying something, but gave up and went back to his own breakfast. _I'll try to eat after this meeting. Maybe it will be easier then. And I'll have you work out the tension headache I seem to have developed._ Her headache hadn't let up overnight, and in fact had gotten worse. There wasn't much point, and certainly not enough time, to ask Nathaniel to work out the knots in her muscles before her meeting with Alistair and Fergus and Teagan. Everything would just knot up again and would stay that way until things were resolved, one way or another.

_At least Zev will be with us._ The assassin-turned-spy was sitting at the breakfast table with everyone else after showing up at the front gates to Teagan's estate early that morning. Elissa was defnitely glad to have him along, especially when planning what to do about Vaughan. She shook her head as she thought about Vaughan's behavior the previous night at Ferrenly's party. _If he does that too many more times, then it won't matter what I do in comparison._

Except for Anders, the rest of the Wardens were eating as they hadn't touched food in days, cleaning their plates with an efficiency that continued to amuse Teagan. He said that the kitchen staff members were thrilled that their cooking was appreciated, but Elissa couldn't help but wonder when the thrill would wear off. She made a mental note to offer to supplement Teagan's staff while they stayed with him. After all, it was only fair.

Anders was pushing the food around on his plate like Elissa had been. He looked rather pale and his expression was pained. _I guess he enjoyed the drinks too much last night. _She shook her head again and decided to finish preparing for her meeting.

By the time she was ready and back in the entrance hall, Teagan and Zevran were waiting for her. "The carriage is ready," Teagan informed her. She nodded once, not answering, and the three of them climbed into the carriage and rode to the palace. The trip was short, but not short enough; every clop of the horses' hooves echoed in Elissa's skull, increasing her headache. She felt woolly-headed, her concentration less than she would have liked, but until she could relax it was _not_ going to improve. She closed her eyes and tried taking deep breaths, but it didn't help very much.

The carriage stopped and the door opened. _We're here._ She took one last deep breath and released it before exiting the carriage. Teagan and Zevran followed behind her as they entered the palace and were shown to the same study that she had been in before when she met with Alistair. Fergus, Alistair and Eamon were already waiting for them and they rose from their seats when the trio entered the room.

"Please, sit." Alistair indicated unoccupied chairs and everyone sat. "Let's get started." He indicated the tea service in the center of the assembled chairs. "Help yourselves to tea if you would like." Elissa stayed seated, but Teagan poured himself a cup of tea, took a biscuit, and sat back down.

They got right to business, talking about who was likely to ally with whom, who was possibly a threat, and who had already submitted agenda items to address during the Landsmeet. The discussion began civilly enough, although Fergus made it a point to sit facing away from Elissa and refused to even look at her. He barely acknowledged her when she spoke, which was not often since her headache was only getting worse and the fuzzy feeling in her brain seemed to increase. It took most of her energy to maintain a calm expression and try to listen to what everyone was saying without interjecting her own opinions. Alistair had taken charge of the meeting anyway which, if she had the energy to think about it, would have pleased her. Being king really did seem to suit him. She could have done without the occasional uncomfortable glance directed at her, though; it just made it harder to concentrate. She wasn't sure if Fergus' pointed dismissals or Alistair's obvious discomfort with her presence was more unsettling.

She was roused from her fuzzy-brained meanderings when she noticed four pairs of eyes upon her. She glanced at Fergus, who was now glowering but still avoiding eye contact. She unsuccessfully shook her head to try to clear it, then asked, "I'm sorry. What did I miss?" Fergus scowled further and Alistair looked annoyed. The others looked concerned at her lack of attention.

Eamon looked at her and spoke patiently. "We need to discuss your relationship with Nathaniel Howe," he said, his voice weary. Elissa looked at his face, and if she was reading it correctly, he was expecting an argument to ensue.

She took a breath and willed herself to sit up in her chair; somehow she had become somewhat slumped while the discussion was happening. She let out the breath and kept her voice as neutral as she could as she asked, "What do you want to discuss?"

Eamon started pacing and he looked at the ground. Carefully, he said, "We are aware of the problems that you have been having with some of the nobility. Once your relationship with Nathaniel becomes apparent, you must be aware that your problems will only increase."

"Of course we are aware of that," Elissa responded tiredly. "Surely you didn't call me here to inform me of that?"

"No. But if public opinion of you sours, so does some of the support for Alistair and Fergus." Eamon stopped pacing and looked directly at Elissa. His eyes looked regretful, at least, when he issued his next statement. "Bearing that in mind, we feel it might be in your best interests to … associate with someone else."

"No." Elissa made sure her voice sounded as strongly as she felt. "I will not. This is not up for discussion. Do what you have to in order to preserve your positions, but I will not do that." Maker, but her head _hurt!_

"Be reasonable," Eamon said. "Surely you want -"

"I _want_?" Elissa managed a laugh, even though her head was pounding. "What I want hasn't been an option for me since before Fergus left for Ostagar." Fergus flinched and started to say something, but she barreled through his protest. "I didn't _want_ to become a Grey Warden. I didn't _want _to lead us through the blight. I didn't _want_ to go against Alistair's wishes and put him on the throne. I didn't _want_ to become the Warden-Commander and an arlessa simultaneously. I've understood the need for each of these things, and hopefully in the long run it will have served some good. I would like to think so. I do my duty, and I hope I do it well, but what I _want_?" She laughed. "This, this I _want_. And I will have it, because it does not interfere with my duty. I am _not_ asking for permission or approval. This is my decision and I refuse to change it."

"Your duty is to the throne, Elissa," Fergus growled. "You also need to consider your legacy."

"No it isn't. My duty is to the Grey Wardens. The Wardens don't care what our last names and histories were; they're not necessary to _fight darkspawn._" Elissa crossed her arms stubbornly. "My legacy will be what it will be; it's not as if I have to worry about sullying the Cousland name." Fergus flinched at this, and Alistair and Eamon started in surprise.

"Of course you do! You should be helping to continue -" Eamon, for once, was flabbergasted.

"The family line?" Elissa shook her head to clear the fog and to try to reduce her headache. "That's not possible, gentlemen." Zevran looked at her in warning, but she continued anyway. "I am _no longer a Cousland_. I am merely Warden Elissa. Even if I hadn't been disowned," and at this Alistair's eyes widened and Eamon gasped, "I'd still be _just_ a Grey Warden." She lowered her voice, realizing that she was beginning to shout. She closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down.

"Then why are you in this meeting?" Fergus' voice was dark. He was dangerously angry, she realized, even more so than when she had seen him last. The other men all gaped at him as she responded.

"I don't know. Zev knows more about Vaughan than I do. I imagine you still want to talk about that." She looked at Alistair. "If the Landsmeet turns out to be a problem, Nathaniel and I will resign our posts and transfer to another country. We won't jeopardize your position, Alistair, nor that of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden." With some effort (_Why is it so hard to stand?_), she rose from her chair. "I will wait in the hallway, rather than subject you to my presence. Gentlemen." She inclined her head at the room and slowly made her way out to the hallway, where she focused completely on putting one foot in front of the other. She didn't know, or care, if anybody tried to stop her from leaving. She just needed to get out of there.

She managed to quietly close the study door and make her way over to a stone bench in the hall before she collapsed upon it, leaning heavily on the armrest. It was really _cold._ She couldn't stop shivering and her headache drowned out any coherent thought. She looked up and down the hall; since nobody was there, she curled up on the bench. Even though she was _freezing_, the stone of the bench felt good against her forehead. She closed her eyes when the world started to spin and curled up tighter, wishing that she had thought to bring her cloak that day.

She didn't know how long she drifted in and out of consciousness, shivering the entire time, but suddenly she heard a familiar voice call her name. She opened her eyes a little, squinting to try to help focus them better. "You done?"

Teagan helped her up and propped her against the back of the bench, holding her in place with his hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong, Elissa?"

Elissa blinked. "Cold." She was still shivering. "Head hurts." At that, Teagan put a hand to her forehead and his eyes widened in alarm.

"You're burning up!" He turned behind him. "Zevran, can you please ask Alistair to fetch a healer?"

"NO." Elissa struggled to get up. "Don'. Please." She tried to make Teagan understand. "I don' want … less GO. Please." She managed to get halfway off the bench before her legs gave out and she fell back down.

Teagan looked at her with his brows furrowed. "Are you sure?"

She nodded at him. The motion made her vision swim. "They hate me. Don' wanna be where they hate me."

"Maker's breath! What's going on here?" Alistair's voice sounded somewhere behind Teagan. "She's as white as a ghost!"

Teagan kept his eyes trained on Elissa while he answered Alistair. "She's not feeling well, Alistair. We're going to take her back to the estate. Zevran, please, can you ask them to get the carriage ready?"

"Consider it done, my friend." Elissa vaguely registered footsteps running away from behind Teagan somewhere. She tried to stand again to follow, but couldn't even get off the bench. Teagan pulled her to her feet and her world went black.

When she next realized what was happening, she was being carried and there were shouts around her. She made out a few words, notably "Anders" and "fever" and "bath." She tried to ask what was happening, but all that came out was a groan.

"Shh, I've got you." It was Nathaniel's voice. "You've got a terrible fever, love. We're going to try to get it under control." If someone else had told her that, she might have missed the undertones of quiet panic. Elissa tried to speak, but she couldn't manage to form proper words. Nathaniel continued speaking. "Anders is … not well, either." Elissa tried to nod, but she wasn't sure that she was successful.

She was fading in and out of awareness, but what she did catch sounded like a thin veneer of control over panic from everyone who spoke. She caught snatches of words like _poison_ and _symptoms _and _antidotes_ and _cold water_, but nothing really registered until suddenly she went from freezing cold to _oh Maker I'm freezing to death and it HURTS, it hurts so MUCH!_ She tried to get away from it, but she just couldn't and it hurt and it was so cold and she couldn't move and and and …

"Shh, I know. I know. Try to focus on me." She turned her head and saw Nathaniel, who was right there and holding her head up. "I know it's cold, but we _have _to lower your temperature. We have to keep you in this bath until your fever isn't so dangerous." She whimpered in response and he winced sympathetically, but kept talking to her softly. "I'm going to have to put a wet cloth on your head, love, and I know you're going to hate it, but you need it. Keep your eyes on me and listen to me. Can you do that?" She whimpered again, but nodded. Nathaniel looked away from her for just a second and grabbed a wash cloth, then watched her face as he ran the wet cloth over her forehead and cheeks. She could tell by watching him that he was trying to be gentle, but the touch of the cloth against her feverish skin made her gasp in pain. He kept talking to her quietly, giving her something to focus on as he smoothed over her face, and finally, _finally_, after several minutes it started to feel good instead of horrible. Once it did, Elissa sighed in relief and started to relax, her shaking slowed, and her headache started to subside.

"Thanks," she croaked out.

Nathaniel rinsed the cloth and squeezed it out with one hand, then brought the cloth to rest across her forehead. He looked her in the eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank the Maker. I didn't know what I was going to do if that didn't work." He stroked her cheek, his fingers cold and wrinkled from touching the wet cloth for so long. It felt odd against her skin. "We have to figure out what caused this reaction," he murmured as he looked at her, his eyes full of concern. "Did you eat or drink anything unusual in the last day or two? Touch anything strange?"

Elissa thought back over the past day. Her mind was still jumbled, but she couldn't remember anything out of the ordinary. "I don't think so," she murmured, her voice still hoarse. "You or Teagan have been with me the whole time, and have touched and eaten the same things as me."

Nathaniel frowned and his brows furrowed in concentration. "What is bothering you besides the fever? Teagan said you had a headache and you felt cold?"

Elissa nodded. "I was really cold, yes. _Everything_ ached, but that could have been the fever. There is one thing though ..." It seemed like nothing, but just in case it was a symptom of something deadly, she decided to mention it. "I have a bug bite or something on my stomach. It itches."

Nathaniel started to examine Elissa's body. He stopped and stared at a point just below her breasts before touching it. "There?" he asked.

"Yes." Even now, the urge to scratch was there. It wasn't too bad, but it was definitely there.

Nathaniel called out for Erlina, and Elissa could hear the door open and close. "Yes, Nathaniel? What is it?"

"Look at this," he told Erlina, and suddenly Elissa could see the elf bend over and look at that same spot on her stomach. She muttered something in Orlesian, to which Nathaniel raised an eyebrow. "Is it _really_?"

"Oui. Yes." Erlina shook her head and muttered. "I will ask Eric to check Anders to see if it is the same with him." She moved out of Elissa's field of vision and the door opened and closed once again.

Elissa was worried now. "Bad enough for her to start speaking in Orlesian?" she asked Nathaniel. He looked at her and shook his head.

"It's serious, but only because you're an adult."

"What?"

"Do you remember ever having the chicken pox?"

Elissa felt the need to raise an eyebrow herself now. "You're _kidding_ me."


	31. The Sickroom Part I

Over the next two days, Elissa was dunked into freezing water an additional five times. Later, she would say that she would be glad to never come near a cold bath for the rest of her life. Between the raging fever, the lack of appetite, and the lack of sleep caused by incessant itchiness, Elissa was completely exhausted. During her few lucid moments, she noticed Nathaniel's exhaustion and worry was causing dark circles under his eyes.

Finally, on the third day, her fever seemed to break somewhat. She was still too warm, but the dangerously high temperatures her body had been producing seemed to pass. Elissa actually slept through the night, and when she awoke she was glad to discover that Nathaniel had stretched out beside her and was gently snoring, his arm flung over her waist. She smiled to herself and drifted back to sleep.

When she next regained consciousness, Nathaniel was just stepping out of his bath. She watched him silently towel off before he draped the cloth around his shoulders and started to dress. He was facing away from her and the view was _quite_ nice.

She must have made a slightly disappointed noise as Nathaniel pulled his breeches over his hips, for he turned around with one eyebrow raised and a slight smile on his face. He looked _much_ better, and Elissa was pleased to note that he must have slept all night as well. "You're awake, I see," he said simply. He crossed to the bed and sat on its edge so that he could place a hand on her forehead. His skin felt smooth and cool. "Better. The fever's not gone but it's much better."

Elissa smiled up at Nathaniel. "That explains why I was able to appreciate the view," she murmured. "You don't _have_ to finish dressing yet, do you?" At this, Nathaniel chuckled.

"I should soon to start the day." He smoothed the backs of his fingers over Elissa's cheek before lifting his towel and drying his hair. "The bath water is still warm if you want to get cleaned up. I think Teagan was going to send in some servants to change the bedding."

He helped Elissa get up and into the tub once he had combed and braided his hair, then washed her hair as she cleaned herself off. He helped her dress in a simple shift and she sat in a chair while he went to collect some food and a servant to clean the room. They shared a simple meal together and talked.

"How is Anders?" Elissa hadn't been aware enough of her surroundings over the past couple of days to even remember that she had heard something about him being ill as well. "He got sick too, right? Is everyone else healthy?"

Nathaniel nodded. "Yes. Anders was the only other one of us who got sick. Apparently he kept _just_ missing the outbreaks in the Circle Tower with his escapes." He looked at Elissa bemusedly. "He didn't become as ill as you did – his fever never got that bad." Elissa nodded, relieved. "He's a terrible patient, by the way – he won't stop complaining about being in bed. Erlina and Eric are about ready to throw him out of a window."

Elissa laughed. "So he's a much better healer than patient. You'd think he would have been better at this than me after having to deal with bad patients."

"You would think so," Nathaniel agreed, smiling at her. "But I suppose it's not all that surprising. He seems annoyed that his magic won't help him recover faster, since it's not an outright injury." He shook his head before changing the subject. "Do you feel up to some company?" Nathaniel asked as he poured Elissa a cup of tea.

Elissa looked up, surprised. "I don't _mind_, but I'm not exactly the picture of beauty right now." She ruefully indicated the pock marks on her face and neck. "Also, I must still be contagious."

Nathaniel grinned. "I think that's the point, actually. Once Teagan started telling all the nobles who invited you to their parties that you were in bed with the chicken pox, they all started asking if they could come by and bring their small children." He smirked at Elissa, whose mouth had dropped open in disbelief. "They would rather their children catch the pox now, when they're still small and it won't be as serious, and many of them expressed the feeling that it would be an _honor_ to catch it from the Hero of Ferelden."

Elissa blinked. Then, she laughed. "Well, that's up to them; I don't see why not. Although if they give me another title for this, I'll have to hurt someone." Nathaniel smiled and they made plans to receive visitors.

-0-0-0-

Over the course of the next three days, Elissa saw a steady parade of nobles, small children, and other well-wishers come into her sick room. She actually got to the point where she was getting _tired_ of holding babies and small children in her lap. It didn't help that she felt a twinge of regret at infecting them, although she kept reassuring herself that in the long run it would be good for them. The adults, overall, were quite sympathetic and friendly and she had never seen so many different arrangements of flowers. She thought she would smell like lavender and roses for the rest of her life from the fragrance that permeated her room. At least her room didn't reek like a sickroom normally would.

The adults who came to visit Elissa ran the gamut of Ferelden culture. Shianni from the Alienage came to see her frequently, as did several of the elves, and she was especially helpful in making Elissa comfortable. ("We have a run of the chicken pox every year or two," she'd said, "so we've had a lot of chances to figure out what helps.") Bann Ferrenly and Bann Gilmore came to see Elissa, as did Bann Sighard and even Alfstanna. Arl Wulff made a brief appearance, but didn't stay long. Elissa was surprised to see him at all, let alone be witness to his gruff sympathy. Many commoners came to visit as well, and the Wardens tried to ensure she saw as many of them as she did nobles, per Elissa's request. The Wardens who were not ill would keep watch in her room to avoid having any successful attempts on her life occur, but fortunately they were not needed.

Throughout all the visitations, two people were noticeably absent. Elissa had seen neither Alistair or Fergus since the day of the meeting in the palace. She tried not to dwell on it, but their apparent lack of interest in her well-being depressed her all the same. She reasoned with herself that she _had_ told them to distance themselves from her publicly if they felt that they couldn't live with her decision, and that it was better that they not pretend if they didn't want to be near her, but it was small consolation. The other Wardens, Teagan and Shianni kept her busy between visitors so that she wasn't left alone too much.

The fourth morning, Elissa's friends all assembled in her room, arranging themselves on chairs and cushions borrowed from other rooms. Nathaniel sat next to Elissa at the head of the bed, and Anders, who was feeling much better, stretched his legs out at the foot of the bed. Teagan was sitting in a chair he had moved close to the bed. He handed Nathaniel a note.

"This arrived for you today via messenger," he explained as Nathaniel looked at him curiously.

"It's from Delilah." Nathaniel wasted no time opening up the letter and read it to himself. He grinned as he folded it up and put it in his pocket. "Things are generally going well at the keep, but Samuel had the chicken pox. He started showing symptoms the day after we left."

"That answers that particular question," Elissa sighed as she leaned her head back. "I spent most of the day before we left taking care of the baby for her."

Anders chuckled. "And because he'd been fussy, Delilah asked me to take a look at him and make sure he hadn't accidentally injured himself crawling around." He grinned at Elissa. "I guess my diagnosis was correct and he wasn't injured." He absentmindedly started to scratch at his stomach, frowning at Erlina as she grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his robes. "All right, all right. But it _itches," _he whined.

"You'll get scars!" Erlina's eyes narrowed at Anders. "And _then_ you'll complain about how you've marred your skin!" This was clearly a conversation that they had followed numerous times. Anders started to answer, but then realized he had an audience, so he fell silent and grumbled to himself. Erlina threw her hands in the air. "You make me crazy!" At this, Anders grinned and leered at Erlina. Before he could answer, though, Ragnar and Erna came into the room, wrapped packages in hand.

Ragnar approached Elissa first and handed her a small parcel. "Get well present," he muttered, looking down at his feet. Was he blushing? _He looks nervous._ She looked down at the package; it had been wrapped in brightly colored fabric and tied with a gilt ribbon. The box was small, maybe a few inches square at most.

"Thank you," Elissa said as she looked up at Ragnar. "Was this from both of you?"

"Ragnar picked it out," Erna supplied. She was practically bouncing from excitement as she stood there waiting for Elissa to open the gift. Elissa looked back to Ragnar, who nodded, then carefully unwrapped the present.

"Oh," she breathed. "It's beautiful!" A golden chain was in the box; attached to it was a small pendant also made of gold. The pendant depicted an exquisitely detailed bow and quiver. It even had a set of arrows sticking out of the quiver, each arrowhead engraved into the gold. Elissa had never seen its like. She picked it up out of the box. "This is wonderful. I _love_ it!" Ragnar relaxed, no longer looking nervous, although his blush intensified. He smiled a little as everyone oohed and ahhed over the beautiful and delicate piece of jewelry before Elissa asked Nathaniel to fasten the clasp of the necklace for her. Elissa smiled at Ragnar and he looked down, shuffling his feet, but the smile stayed on his face.

There was a larger wrapped box; this one Ragnar gave it to Anders. "You got one too." Anders became visibly excited and started to unwrap the gift quickly.

"For me? You shouldn't have!" Elissa glanced at Ragnar and wondered about the intent look on his face. She raised an eyebrow at Erna, who had covered her mouth. Her eyes were sparkling though and she had an incredibly mischievous look on her face. She looked like she was trying to avoid laughing out loud. She looked back at Anders just as he finished getting the cloth off the package and lifted the lid.

The look on Anders' face … Elissa wasn't quite sure how to describe it. It was more a series of emotions – first he had a look of shock, then dismay, then resignation. He put the lid of the box down and cleared his throat. "Uh," he said, "thanks."

"What's in the box, Sparkle Fingers?" Oghren's curiosity was piqued by Anders' strange behavior. He leaned forward, as did most of the people in the room, to try to see what it was that Ragnar had gotten for the mage.

Anders sighed, then reached into the box. He lifted out _something_ that was pink. And frilly. And it _shimmered._

Erna couldn't hold back any more; she started giggling. Once she started, Oghren started laughing too, guffawing loudly and slapping his knee. Everyone in turn started laughing, which caused Ragnar to look _incredibly_ pleased with himself. Eventually, even Anders joined in the laughter, shaking his head.

"I suppose I have to try this on now, yes?" He said, raising his eyebrow to look at his practical joke gift.

"It is only the polite thing to do, my friend," Zevran chuckled. "I am sure that pink is just your color."

"Erna altered it to fit," Ragnar supplied helpfully. This only caused everyone to laugh louder. Anders noticed that Elissa was laughing along with everyone else for the first time in several days, and he grinned.

"Well, THEN!" With a flourish, Anders got up and went to the changing screen in the room. As he did so, Erlina whispered something to Shianni and the two of them quietly left the room. Elissa wondered what they were up to.

It only took a moment for Anders to emerge from behind the screen, and when he did, Oghren actually fell on the floor from laughter. "It's … It's …" Oghren couldn't complete a sentence. He was gasping and holding his sides, and every time he looked over at Anders he'd be set off again. "PINK!" He finally shouted.

The outfit in question could loosely be called a dress. It was sleeveless, but thankfully had shoulder straps to keep it up. It had row upon row of frills and ran down to Anders' knees and it was made from a material that was an _awful_ shade of pink that was certainly nothing ever seen in nature. It was low-cut in a deep V in the front, showing off Anders' chest hair and still-healing pock marks. Every time Anders moved, the material made a stiff 'swish' sound.

Anders turned around in front of all assembled, grinning at the cheers and catcalls the group was producing for his little show. Nathaniel even had to laugh a little, even as he shook his head and rubbed at his temples with his fingers. When Anders had finished turning around, he bowed to his audience then stood up. He looked over his shoulder. "Does this make my butt look big?" Erlina and Shianni returned just then, carrying Anders' staff that was now decorated with many different, large, brightly-colored flowers and presented it to him. He mounted the staff on his back and thanked each of the ladies with a kiss on the back of her hand.

"Oh, that's _very_ nice." Teagan was laughing too as he stood. He walked over to Anders and bowed to him. He was the picture of perfect noble-trained gentility. "Might I have the honor of a dance?" He grinned at Anders, who chuckled and half-attempted a curtsey.

"Why certainly!" He held his hands up to lead. Unfortunately, so did Teagan. The inevitable argument ensued.

"I believe I should lead, friend. You are wearing the dress."

"I should lead _because_ I'm wearing the dress!"

"Don't you think that would look … awkward?" At this, Eric had to look away as he snickered. Anders just looked at Teagan with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not good enough to follow. _I'll_ lead."

"As you wish, then." Anders put his hands up to lead, and Teagan placed one hand on Anders' shoulder and the other into the offered palm, and they started dancing, Anders awkwardly leading and Teagan following as best he could. They occasionally tripped and Anders muttered curses as they practiced.

By now, everyone was giggling and laughing. Elissa thought her lungs were going to burst, and Oghren was begging for mercy, claiming he was going to have an accident if they kept it up. Zevran got up, his eyes twinkling, and asked to cut in. As Teagan handed over his dance partner and Anders prepared to lead again, the door opened.

"Nobody answered when I knocked, so I ..." Alistair's voice dropped off as he surveyed the scene in front of him. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped open, causing a new fit of laughter amongst the assembled group and a red face for Anders. "Uh, am I interrupting anything?" The laughter doubled and Alistair looked at Elissa, a question on his face. She nodded slightly, granting him permission to enter, and he stepped into the room. Then he got a wicked look in his eye, and grinned at Elissa before turning to Anders. "So, do you know the remigold?"

Nobody else understood why, at that point, Elissa suddenly doubled over in laughter, her head landing on Nathaniel's knee as she helplessly giggled.


	32. The Sickroom Part II

"You look terrible," Alistair said as he watched Elissa's face. He smiled at her when she raised an eyebrow at him. "And that's saying something, considering we've seen each other battered and bloody." Her friends had just finished leaving the room after their impromptu comedy session, and Alistair was obviously still amused by the entire spectacle.

"Does this mean that you're not angry with me any more?" Elissa asked slowly. She wasn't sure whether or not she should press the issue. Alistair was not, ironically, treating her like she had the plague. "What changed your mind?"

Alistair's face fell a little at Elissa's observation. He looked down at his feet and ran a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture that Elissa had noticed when they were traveling together. "Yes, well. I might have overreacted just a bit." He sighed and looked back up at her. "After Orzammar, all I could think about was what might have happened if you had spared Loghain. And every time I thought of it, I got angry all over again. After all that time watching people suffer and die because of his decisions, being treated like _criminals_ because he said we were, and trying to fix all the problems he created ..." Alistair sighed again. "To have allowed him to try the Joining after that..." He shook his head. "To me, it would have felt like rewarding him for all the wrong he did. But, I guess you knew that already." He grimaced at Elissa's nod.

"That was why I went ahead with the execution," she said softly.

"That's what Alfstanna said too. She asked me what the problem I had with you was, and so I told her about that conversation when you were leaving Orzammar."

"What did she say about it?" Elissa was curious about Alfstanna's response.

"Before or after she told me to grow up?" Alistair had averted his eyes again, this time studying the carpet. "She didn't say it in so many words, but she did start out with 'So, at what point did Elissa do something awful enough to throw away everything you had built with her?'" At this, Elissa's eyes widened, but before she could respond, he continued. "She then reminded me that you were the person who actually followed through with Loghain's execution, even though _I _was the one who was calling for it the loudest. And _then_ she pointed out that by doing that, you had kept my hands clean of the whole thing and that if it had caused trouble, _you_ were the one who would have been held accountable. After that, she informed me that if she ever did any of those sorts of things for me and I paid her back by ending things with her in front of all of our friends, that I would have several unpleasant things happen to my person." He shuddered a little. "Most of them involved ensuring that Calahad's line would end with me."

"How long ago was this?"

"A while ago now." Alistair looked at Elissa again, this time with an expression of guilt on his face. "I heard you when we found you sick outside the study. I've never hated you."

"You heard that." Elissa's voice was flat. "I," she paused, "I don't think I would have said that if I had known you were there." She looked down at her lap. "Even with how awful that meeting had gotten," she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Ugh, that whole thing was awkward," Alistair agreed. "I was going to have to send someone in for some cheese if it kept up." Elissa looked up at Alistair to find him smiling a little and raised an eyebrow in response. He reached over and put his hand on her shoulder. "I apologize for that too, by the way. I had no idea that things were that ugly between you and Fergus, or I would have held separate meetings." _I'm surprised Alfstanna didn't say anything to him about Fergus disowning me. She must have thought that it would settle itself._

"No, you shouldn't have to schedule something like that around our squabbles." Elissa shook her head emphatically as she said this. "You're the king, after all. There has to be some benefit to it other than getting your cheeses delivered to your room." She attempted a small grin. "If we can't figure out a way to work in each other's presence ..." She stopped smiling. "I was serious about stepping down if necessary, Alistair. I trust your judgment on this. If you think we're hurting your rule, just let me know. We've already been training the current Wardens so that they can take over for us without a lot of fuss. We won't leave Ferelden without its best defense against darkspawn, like what happened to us during the blight."

Alistair shook his head. "I don't think it will come to that. I hope not, anyway." He shrugged uncomfortably before changing the subject. "By the way, I'm glad Zevran is on our side. We've had some assassination attempts at the palace, but because of his warnings, we had no problem stopping them."

Elissa sat up straighter. "Is everyone all right?" She was worried now. "What happened? Did you get proof it was Vaughan?"

Alistair shook his head. "There's no proof, but everyone is fine. The first time was the afternoon of that meeting. We had an archer wearing Howe insignia try to shoot me, but since Zevran warned us about the possibility of an attempt, Alfstanna saw and killed him while we were training." He shook his head. "It pays to be marrying an archer. This time, they actually found someone who was built a lot like Nathaniel. Word hadn't gotten out yet that you were sick and that he was here with you."

"We got lucky," Elissa said as she shuddered. "If Nathaniel had gone out that evening ..." She didn't need to complete the sentence. Alistair nodded.

Alistair looked at Elissa intently. "I know he has nothing to do with this. I would have tried to find a way to keep him safe. Anyway, with that warning, we kept extra watches. Zevran and Erlina were helpful, and Shianni helped us identify the trustworthy staff. Between them all, we've found out about two more attempts and put a stop to them before they even started." He grimaced. "There were more of those fake contracts that Zevran told us about at the meeting. They both had your name on them with that fake seal."

"A blessing in disguise," Elissa murmured, and Alistair nodded in agreement. "This would be a lot worse if I still had Mother's signet ring."

"Yes, it would be harder to explain." Alistair looked at Elissa, a question in his eyes. She shook her head, not wanting to talk about Fergus, and Alistair sighed. He actually looked like he was a little disappointed for a moment, but then his expression changed to something … Elissa couldn't quite read what it was. "Hey," he said softly. "I miss talking to you. Do you think we could try this friends thing again?" He blushed a little as he looked embarrassed. "I'll try to be less of an idiot and everything."

Elissa smiled at Alistair. "I'd like that," she said. "I missed talking to you too." They settled in and had a long chat.

-0-0-0-

Two days later, Elissa was still too sick to be out and about, but she was well enough to be completely and utterly bored with staying in bed. The constant stream of well-wishers was finally starting to slow down a little, giving Elissa a chance to breathe. She tried to be optimistic and reassured herself that it was a good thing so many people wanted to see her; her popularity hadn't started to really wane. Yet.

It was near the end of the afternoon, and the last visitor for the day had gone home, escorted by her Wardens to the door before they prepared for dinner. Finally alone, Elissa thought she might shuffle over to one of the chairs by the fireplace for a slight change of scenery and try to read something. She swung her feet off the bed and was preparing to stand when a knock sounded at the door. "Come in," she called, looking down at her feet to make sure they behaved the way she wanted. She was partly successful, managing to stand on her own and stay up, as she heard the door open and then shut a moment later.

"Elissa?" Her head shot up and she actually squeaked a bit as she fell backward into her bed, only barely managing to land in a seated position. She looked to the entrance of the room, shocked to hear the one voice she had actually given up on hearing again before Alistair's wedding. She blinked, then rubbed her eyes, then blinked again. Then she realized she was being an idiot and composed herself.

"Fer– er, Teyrn Cousland! I wasn't … uh … I didn't know that …" Perhaps she wasn't _quite_ composed yet. She shut her mouth, tried to make her brain work, and tried again. "I thought it would be one of the Wardens, sorry." The look on Fergus' face showed how much he believed her poor attempt to cover her shock at seeing him there. "Please, come in and sit." Deciding that maybe she really _was_ still too weak from several days of fevers to walk across the room by herself, she rearranged her own pillows. It kept her from gaping at her brother's presence, mostly, and gave her a chance to process her thoughts around the still-shocked parts of her mind. It didn't take long, much to her dismay, so she took a moment to adjust the blankets as well before finally resigning herself to facing her visitor. She eased herself back against the headboard of her bed and pulled the blankets up onto her lap, then finally looked up to see Fergus situated in one of the chairs that was a fair distance from the bed, but facing it. He was looking at her, his normally expressive face passive and unreadable.

They both sat, looking at each other, each waiting for the other to speak. Elissa's discomfort grew exponentially for every moment that there was silence. Finally, she broke their gaze and looked down at her lap. She was surprised to see her hands twisting there. _I haven't done that in a while_. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, then the silence became overbearing and she couldn't let it _be_. She let out the breath before breaking the silence. "Thank you for coming, your grace. I … am honored." _That's what the banns used to say when we would visit them, right?_ Elissa was far more used to the training that she and Fergus had sat through on the etiquette they needed as the more powerful members of a gathering. Being on the opposite side made Elissa aware of how little she had paid attention to the niceties.

She heard a sigh, but didn't dare look up. She was trying to decide if that was because she was more afraid of what she might see or uncomfortable that he was actually _there. _She concentrated, instead, on willing her hands to still as they continued to move nervously in her lap, when suddenly she saw a large calloused hand rest on top of them to still them. "That always made me crazy. I'd get nervous just watching you fret." Elissa looked up as Fergus sat on the edge of her bed facing her. He wasn't looking at her face, instead choosing to concentrate on his hand covering hers and keeping them hidden. She noted that he didn't look angry this time, although it was really hard for her to read _what_ he was feeling. He must have learned that from Mother, for Father certainly never had learned to hide his true feelings all that well.

He cleared his throat and shifted a little, but kept his gaze downward. "They said that you almost died from the fevers." He barely glanced at her before looking back down again. "You still look pale."

Elissa nodded, mostly to herself since Fergus wasn't looking at her. "I don't remember much from the first few days," she admitted. "Mostly I remember being dunked into freezing cold water repeatedly." At this, Fergus winced. "Other than that, I wasn't particularly coherent." She chuckled a little, and Fergus looked up at her with surprise on his face. "I didn't know that they were worried for my life, but..." She shrugged. "It would have been … anticlimactic … to live through the blight and the civil war and the bloody _archdemon _only to be felled by a child's disease."

Fergus managed to smile a little bit at that. "You always were contrary."

Elissa grimaced. "Well, I suppose I prefer contrary to wayward." She looked down again. Fergus still had her hands covered with one of his. She didn't quite know what to do about that, so she let it be.

"Yes, well ..." Fergus sounded hesitant, and Elissa looked back at him to see that, if possible, he was avoiding her gaze further. "I talked to Alistair. He told me about why things ended between you two." He paused a minute, but Elissa felt no need to respond, so he continued. "Is it _really_ worth giving up all chance to have your own children, to continue the family line? I thought you always wanted children. Maker knows I could barely pry you away from Oren." He looked as distressed as he sounded. "What happens if you give up everything for him and things don't work out? You'd have _nothing_." He lowered his voice. "The family line can _end _over this. Is it really that unimportant to you?"

Elissa looked closely at Fergus. He looked wearier and much older than when she'd seen him last. _He's not able to move on past Oriana yet. That's what all this has been about!_ The realization startled her more than it probably should have. She gathered her thoughts for a bit, then started to talk.

"I need to explain some things, I think." Fergus slowly raised his head and looked at her. "I need you to hear me out so that you understand all of this. Do you think you can?"

"I'll try." Fergus' brows were furrowed, causing a wrinkle between his eyes. It was as close as a promise as she would get, so she decided to explain what she could.

"All right." Elissa took a deep breath and began. "Grey Wardens keep a number of secrets. Important ones. It's out of necessity, but it also separates us from other people. When you combine that with the difficulty in having children and the need to be away from home for long periods of time ..." She sighed. "Let's just say that out of all the married Wardens I've met, only one of those marriages was not … compromised. I'm not really willing to marry someone who will never understand me, especially because I would have to keep secrets from him. Not after seeing what is possible, watching Mother and Father and you and Oriana. I won't do that to someone I pledge to spend the rest of my life with. For that reason alone, I would never consider marrying someone who isn't a Warden. I'd be dooming both of us to misery." Fergus stayed silent, so she continued.

"Even if I was to go against that, it would be pointless to marry for the sake of having children. I can't have children at all." At this, Fergus' eyes widened.

"But Alistair said there was a chance at having children if one of the parents isn't a Warden!"

"Normally that would be true," Elissa agreed. "But in my case, I'm completely barren. I was injured severely when we fought the archdemon, and ..." In this case, words seemed inadequate, so she removed her hands from under Fergus', covered her hips with the blanket and shifted the nightgown so that Fergus could see the scar on her abdomen. Fergus stared at the scar, the vertical line running from her navel and disappearing into the blanket, and his eyes widened further. "The blade ran me through," she continued quietly. "It missed my spine by about an inch." He shuddered and closed his eyes briefly. She let her nightgown drop back down and covered the scar. "So, that decision was made for me."

Fergus' expression showed grief and despair. He looked the way that Elissa had felt when she first found out the extent of her injuries. He stopped looking at her and turned away from her, turning back only after he had schooled his expression into something that appeared more neutral. Elissa waited to see if he would say anything, and after a brief internal struggle, he looked up again.

"I … I don't know if ..." He stopped, took a breath, then started again. "I don't know if I _can_ move on from Oriana. I … what do we do if I can't? The teyrnir … after so long ..." He shook his head. "There is no Cousland heir." He ran a hand through his hair. "I feel like we're letting the entire Cousland family down if we don't continue the family line." He looked lost now. "What do we _do_?" He was whispering, almost to himself, but she could hear him clearly.

It was Elissa's turn to reach out. She took one of his hands in hers. "We do the best we can," she replied, keeping her voice soft. "You don't have to rush things. I know how much you loved each other, and you don't need to hurry up and produce an heir. If, after a while, you meet someone ..." she shrugged. "If you don't, well, then, it will be what it will be. Father and Mother would only have pushed you because they loved having children in the house. And since you're a man, you don't have to worry about a deadline as much as a woman would."

Fergus grimaced. "I don't want to be some lecherous old man with a trophy wife either." The very thought made him shudder. "I just …" He sighed. "Are you really all right with us being the last of the Couslands?" He looked at Elissa in disbelief.

Elissa shrugged. "I'm not exactly in a position to help out here. So, yes, if that's the way things turn out, then I'll be all right with it. If you decide not to remarry, then find someone you trust enough to take over the teyrnir and train that person." She squeezed Fergus' hand gently. "The one thing I've learned the past few years is that making your own family can be more important than blood."

"Is that what this … _thing_ … with Howe is about?" The attack was so unexpected, so sudden, that Elissa actually recoiled as if Fergus had slapped her. Fergus continued angrily as he yanked his hand away from her. "He's more important to you than me? Than your own brother?"

"What would _you_ have done if it had been Oriana?" Elissa snapped. The words slipped out before she had a chance to consider their impact. Fergus' expression changed from anger back to disbelief before he settled on a wounded look. _That could have gone better._ Elissa sighed, suddenly ashamed of using Fergus' grief against him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ..." She sighed again. "I'm sorry." She looked away.

"Why _him_?" Fergus chose to speak again after a brief period of silence. His voice sounded frustrated and tired. "Why did it have to be the son of the man who destroyed our lives? I don't know if I can ever get past that after learning what happened at the castle." Fergus sighed. "I can not and will not forget that it happened." He sighed again. "How can you see his face and _not_ be reminded of that night every time?"

"It did, for a while." Elissa turned back to face Fergus. This was too important; she felt the need to say this to him while looking at him. "But then I realized that if I let Rendon's actions rule me, when he couldn't do anything to me any more, it was then that he would win." She saw his eyes widen. She shrugged. "After that, I took the time to get to know Nathaniel better and learned that not only is he a good man, we understand each other." She paused to let this information sink in. "I love him, Fergus." She ignored her brother's gasp of surprise and continued. "He and I have helped each other get through most of the ugliness in our lives. Together, we're much more than two individuals – I'd like to think we're both better people because of being together. I'd be a fool to throw all that away because of who his father was."

Fergus stayed silent. She waited, letting him have the time he needed to process everything she said. Finally, his shoulders slumped. "I don't think I can accept him in my life, Elissa. There's too much there. I just _can't._" He stopped looking at her then and studied his hands in his lap.

Elissa understood, so she tried to swallow the disappointment. It made for a rather large lump in her throat. "All right," she said sadly.

Fergus looked up again and studied her face. "You're choosing him, aren't you." It wasn't a question, but she answered him anyway.

"I wish I didn't have to make that choice, but … yes." Elissa watched Fergus sigh one last time before he nodded silently and stood. He didn't look back as he walked out the door.

Nathaniel walked in not five minutes later and took one look at her face before climbing onto the bed, boots and all, and putting his arms around her. "I was hoping that the lack of shouting meant that things had gone well," he murmured into her hair. "That wasn't the case, I take it."

"We talked, so it wasn't a complete loss. I just failed to change his mind." Elissa's voice was muffled, but she kept her face buried in Nathaniel's shirt. His scent and warmth were keeping her grounded. She sighed. "It's done now."

"I'm sorry." He squeezed her gently.

"Me too."


	33. Back to the Palace

It was the middle of the night when the dark figure crept into their room, hiding in the shadows. The figure was a master of stealth, but not as good as Nathaniel or Elissa, which is why the intruder soon found his pulse point at the business end of a dagger and a large angry man holding the pommel.

"You have fifteen seconds to state your business before I end you," Nathaniel whispered threateningly. Elissa swung out of bed, pulling her own dagger from under her pillow, and silently padded over to the pair. She was ready for anything.

The figure held up his hands and let his face be seen in the moonlight. "It is good that you are alert, my friends. Teagan's guards are good, but not good enough." At the sound of the voice, both Elissa and Nathaniel relaxed. Elissa put her dagger down on the table and sat heavily in the nearest chair, as she was still weak from her illness. Nathaniel took a second longer before finally sheathing his weapon.

"Why are you here _now, _Zevran?" Nathaniel continued whispering. "What's going on?" He straightened up, sitting in one of the other chairs, and indicated a third for their elven friend to sit in. "Has something happened?"

"Not yet, but it is about to." Zevran's voice was also hushed and laced with a sense of urgency. "We have finally made a breakthrough in gathering evidence that Vaughan is behind everything. But we need more proof, so I have devised a plan."

Elissa raised an eyebrow before she realized that the men in the room would not be able to see it. "What sort of plan?" she whispered.

"I cannot tell you now, my dear. But suffice to say that Alistair has agreed to it and we need you to come with us tonight to the palace."

"We?" Nathaniel sounded curious and a little suspicious. "Who else is involved in this? Why do we need to go to the palace?"

Elissa saw Zevran's form shift forward in the shadows. "So far, those involved include you two, myself, Erlina and Alistair. He has agreed to provide me with his most trusted guards, all of whom I have personally checked as well. He said that you would remember Anora's room the last time she stayed in the palace?" At this, Elissa's eyes widened.

"You plan to put us into her old cell?" Granted, Anora's _cell_ was actually an enormous and well-furnished room. It did happen to have a locked and barred door and sat at the top of a tower in the palace, however. It might have been lavish, but it was still a prison.

"Just so." Zevran's form shifted back into the seat. "We need to keep you two safe. We also need to make sure that your location and activities are accounted for every second of every day between now and the Landsmeet." His tone shifted to one of command, which was unfamiliar to Elissa's ears but she found it suited him. "You need to pack whatever you can carry stealthily and get ready to leave in the next ten minutes. Erlina and I will take care of the rest."

-0-0-0-

They were packed and dressed just in time for the door to reopen. Elissa could feel Nathaniel tense at her side as three shadows entered the room. Zevran's voice sounded first. "Erlina and I brought a friend, my dear."

Elissa grinned, even though she knew Zevran couldn't see him. "Well, don't keep me in suspense, Zev."

The tallest shadow detached and came up to Elissa before embracing her in a tight hug that was full of curves and perfume that smelled remarkably like Andraste's grace. She knew who it was even before the shadow whispered, "Hello, beautiful," with a smile in her voice. She returned the hug with an intensity borne of _I missed you so much and I didn't even realize it_ as she smiled into her friend's hair.

"Leliana!" She kept her voice to a whisper but it was challenging, given her level of excitement to meet her old friend again. "What are you doing here?"

Leliana giggled softly. "I am to be you, of course. I had just arrived at the Chantry to stay there for the wedding when I ran into Alistair. When he informed me that my skills were needed to help my friend, I could not refuse. Besides, I have heard that I will be wearing some beautiful custom dresses."

Zevran whispered, "We have decided that your illness was lucky – did you know you have decided to wear veils to hide the pock marks until they fade?" At this, Elissa chuckled. She would never have bothered with such a thing; she could barely be bothered to wear makeup, preferring instead to let her facial tattoos serve as decoration.

"Clever. I like it. And Erna will be thrilled that her work has not gone to waste." Elissa smiled in the darkness. "I did pack a couple of dresses, just in case, but the rest are still in the armoire." She hugged her friend one last time. "Who will be Nathaniel?"

"Alas, Nathaniel has decided to go home and check on his dear sister." At this, Nathaniel gave a start. "Not to worry, my friend. I have posted extra men to watch over Delilah and Samuel, and one of them looks like you from a distance. The deception should hold for a week."

Elissa nodded and detached herself from Leliana, finding Nathaniel's hand in the dark and squeezing it. "All right, Zev. Let's go."

-0-0-0-

Thankfully, Zevran had arranged for a plain covered carriage to pick them up a few streets away from Teagan's estate and take them close to the palace. This was good, since Elissa wouldn't have been able to sneak all the way to the palace from the market district. Walking normally for any distance would have worn her out this soon after her illness, and while she was excellent at stealth, it required more energy than walking.

They stopped frequently as it was; each time, Nathaniel would frame her against a wall or in a corner and hide them both from view until her exhausted trembling would stop and she would silently nod to him to let him know she could move forward again. Finally, after what seemed like hours, they arrived at the carriage and silently climbed into it. Zevran climbed up next to the driver and they rode for several minutes before alighting from the carriage and repeating the process. It was only another two blocks and another two times that Elissa needed to rest before the palace gates came into view. Alistair was waiting just inside the gates with two of his men.

He nodded to Nathaniel before grabbing Elissa's things, shouldering the bow and quiver, before indicating that Nathaniel should hand his over too. "So you can carry her," he whispered. "She looks all done in." Nathaniel only hesitated briefly before giving his gear to Alistair and Zevran, then immediately knelt so that Elissa could climb on his back. He stood as soon as she was reasonably comfortable and nodded at Alistair, who turned and led them into the palace. Zevran and Erlina fell into place behind the others and kept watch.

Elissa was so tired that she failed to keep track of the corridors that they took, save to notice that the palace had its fair share of secret passageways. They walked quietly and unseen through the palace, Alistair's tread being louder than the others combined even though he had taken his boots off and was walking in his socks. Elissa thought bemusedly that it was a good thing Alistair didn't normally depend on using stealth. She finally recognized where they were when Alistair ushered them out of one of the secret passageways and they emerged right at the tower stairs. He pointed up and led them all to the top of the tower, which was several stories high. Even with Nathaniel's considerable strength, she could feel his muscles start to tremble from carrying her weight. She kissed the back of his neck to silently thank him for carrying her and he squeezed her legs in response.

Alistair got out a key and unlocked an iron door. It swung into the room noiselessly and they all entered the room before he turned around with a sigh of relief. "Well, the first part is done," he said and smiled. "Welcome to your home for the next week."

Nathaniel carefully set Elissa down and despite being carried up the stairs, she still sank into the sofa cushions as if she'd just run several miles with full armor on. He sat by her, putting a hand on her knee, and she covered his hand with hers while Zevran and Erlina and Alistair put their belongings down in the bedroom area. As they did this, she looked around.

The room was huge and circular, the austerity of the gray stone walls and floors tempered by numerous tapestries, paintings, and rugs of fine make. Elissa and Nathaniel sat on a sofa in a living area with a couple of shelf units filled with books, a low table, and chairs. There was a large four-poster bed on the far wall and a curtain beside it, past which Elissa caught a glimpse of a tub and washstand. The room was almost exactly as she remembered from the only other time she had been in it, when she had visited Anora while the former queen was imprisoned. It may have been a prison, but it was a nicer space than the room that she and Nathaniel had shared at Teagan's estate. "I don't believe this has changed at all," she murmured, and Alistair smiled at her.

"I saw no reason to change things, except to get it cleaned. It hasn't been used in the last year or so and I thought it had held up well." He came closer to them and sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the low table. He picked an apple from the bowl of fruit on the table and bit into it. "I'm sorry we're locking you up like this, but Zev assures me that this will be the best way to ensure your safety. We're leaving your weapons here in case the worst happens, and Zev and I fully trust the men who will be guarding you." He leaned forward. "If you need anything, just let the guards or Zev or Erlina know and we'll take care of it."

"I will introduce your guards to you tomorrow, so you know who we trust," Zevran continued. "And only Erlina and I will be bringing your meals. If anyone else tries to bring your food, do not touch it. If a guard tries to come in here and you have not been introduced to him, you know you can kill him on sight."

"So it's serious then," Elissa said. "You found out about some major plans." Zevran nodded at her in answer. "Will Teagan and the others be all right?"

"We believe so," Erlina said, her voice tired. "Zevran and I have checked Teagan's staff and they all have shown to be trustworthy so far. We plan to let Teagan know not to hire anyone new without our approval."

"Thank you both. For everything." Elissa smiled at both Zevran and Erlina. "And Alistair, thank you too. We owe you a lot."

Alistair stood as he shook his head. "I think we all still owe you, Elissa. Besides, this is supposed to be one of the perks of being king, right? That I have the power to make sure the right thing gets done?" He smiled at Elissa and Nathaniel. "You two get some sleep and we can talk more tomorrow. Or later today," he mused as he looked at the window. "It will be dawn soon." He turned to leave, and Zevran and Erlina followed him, promising they would return in the afternoon. They locked the door behind them as they left. Elissa barely removed her armor and climbed into bed before she fell fast asleep.

When she opened her eyes, the room was in shadow and the sound of a steady rain pounded on the roof, making the comfortable bed she was in seem that much more cozy. She rolled over to see that the other side of the bed was empty and looked up to see where Nathaniel was. He was sitting on the sofa speaking with Zevran in hushed tones. She sat up and swung her legs out of bed. "What time is it?" she asked sleepily as she stumbled over to sit in one of the chairs by the sofa.

"You woke just in time for afternoon tea, my dear," Zevran replied with a smirk. "Would you like me to pour you a cup?"

"Yes, please." Elissa stifled a yawn. "I guess I was tired." Even though she had slept a long time, she felt like she could happily go back to sleep.

"How are you feeling?" Nathaniel spoke quietly as he studied her face.

Elissa thought a moment before responding. "Really good, actually." She smiled. "I'm still tired, but otherwise I feel almost normal. And I'm not as itchy as I was." She thought ruefully of how covered she was with pockmarks and was glad that the outward signs of her illness would fade soon.

At her response, both men smiled. Zevran offered Elissa her tea, which she accepted gratefully, and she took a drink from her cup before setting it down and reaching for the fruits and cheeses that were spread on a platter on the table. While she ate, Zevran filled her in on what he had learned. Apparently, Vaughan had decided that since none of his attempts thus far had succeeded, becoming more bold was called for. As a result, he was starting to be careless. Zevran's contact in Vaughan's estate learned that the Arl would be writing a new false contract that very morning and would also be arranging to have someone claim to be a Howe and carry out the deed. The target this time was to be Alfstanna. According to Zevran's source, Vaughan was also planning on collecting a large amount of false evidence in order to present a case against Elissa and Nathaniel at the Landsmeet. Zevran also had reason to believe that he would attempt to hire assassins to try to infiltrate the palace.

With both Nathaniel and Elissa safely tucked away and accounted for, Alistair would be able to prove that neither of them was behind this or any of the other attempts. In addition, if proof of Vaughan's treason was not discovered before the Landsmeet, Zevran and Erlina were putting plans in motion to acquire the proof while Vaughan was attending the Landsmeet. Zevran refused to divulge the details on this, however, stating that he 'didn't want to spoil the surprise.'

After he explained why they were to be held in custody for the week, he introduced them to their guards. There were perhaps a dozen men in total, all of whom moved and spoke as if they were well-trained. Elissa thought that Zev and Alistair had chosen well. Zev told them about the guards' rotation schedule and reminded them that if anybody else was to come into the room, other than the known people they could trust, that they had express permission from Alistair himself to riddle the person with arrows. Nathaniel and Elissa indicated that they understood, and Zevran dismissed the guards.

"So," Zevran said as he rose from his chair after the explanations and introductions were finished, "all you need to do is amuse yourselves in this nice room with a lovely view for the next week, and we will come and get you for the Landsmeet. Leave everything else to us." He waved off Elissa's thanks and left the room, closing the door behind him. Elissa looked over to Nathaniel when she heard the lock turn in the door; he frowned slightly.

"I don't like sitting here while other people act on our behalf," he said after he had been frowning for a little bit. "I also don't particularly care for being locked away for our protection."

"Like the Circle of Magi?" Elissa noted. At this, Nathaniel's eyes widened.

"Good point," he muttered. "I guess we should be thankful that it's only for a week."

"Probably." Elissa stood then and smiled. "Come to bed with me and I'll do my best to distract you."

Nathaniel stopped and turned to her, his frown slowly turning upward and his eyes taking on _that_ look. He walked to her and held out a hand, which she took. "Do you really think you can distract me for an entire week?"

Elissa smiled and shrugged. "I'm willing to give it a try," she said slyly. "I need to work on my endurance somehow."

Nathaniel laughed softly. "Well, we do want you to get your strength back, it's true." He gently tugged her hand and they started walking toward the bed together. "I rather like the way you think, sometimes."


	34. In Protective Custody

Nathaniel was lying face down on the bed, his head turned to the side and his eyes closed. Elissa was sitting on his hips and warming massage oil in her hands. Satisfied that the oil was warm enough, she started working on Nathaniel's shoulders.

"You needed this," she said quietly as Nathaniel groaned. She had found a particularly large knot and was working it out. She continued working on his shoulders until she was satisfied that the knots were loosened, and started down his right arm, finding small knots all over and getting them to loosen as well.

"Where did you find the massage oil?" Nathaniel's speech was slightly slurred. Elissa smiled as she wondered if he was drooling.

"Zevran keeps some on him at all times." This caused Nathaniel's eyes to crack open slightly. He peered at her from the corner of his eye but didn't move; Elissa had finished working down his arm and was now gently forcing the muscles in his neck to submit to her ministrations.

"You really do travel with interesting people. I thought _our_ group was odd."

Elissa laughed as she started on Nathaniel's other arm. These muscles were yielding a bit more easily. "You have no idea." She finished quickly with his left arm and returned to his back, concentrating on the strong cords of muscle that ran the length of his back on either side of his spine, using liberal amounts of the massage oil as she worked. The silence was comfortable, punctuated by the occasional groan when Elissa found a difficult knot and leaned into it with her knuckles.

After some time, Elissa finished with Nathaniel's back and sat back on her haunches. "Do you want me to continue with your legs?" she asked softly. She got no response. "Nathaniel?" She leaned forward and stretched out, lying on top of him. She looked at him closely and realized that he had fallen into a deep sleep. Smiling, she tried to avoid disturbing him as she swung her leg off his prone form and pulled the blankets up to cover him and keep him warm. His breathing stayed deep and even, so she padded across the room to choose a book to read.

-0-0-0-

"I can't believe we hadn't noticed this!" Elissa pulled a lute out from the corner. It had been hidden between a bookshelf and the wall.

"We _were_ otherwise occupied," Nathaniel reminded her with a smile. "I'm surprised you let me out of bed long enough to eat." Elissa shrugged at him even as she grinned, then sat on the sofa and began checking the tuning of the lute. "You play?"

"Only a little. My mother had an instructor come in when, as I think she put it, there was 'still hope that I might learn the softer arts.'" She smiled as she heard Nathaniel's snort and turned a peg while she idly plucked its matching string. "Leliana taught me some more in camp when we weren't exhausted from fighting during the blight. She's much better than me." She continued to tune the lute, then plucked out a few arpeggios. Nodding in satisfaction, she began playing a simple tune, humming the melody under her breath as she played.

"You have a good singing voice," Nathaniel remarked. "I never knew that about you."

"I'm out of practice." Elissa mentally went through the chords she remembered, fingering them and plucking through the strings. "Do you sing? Or play?"

Nathaniel chuckled. "My musical skills are limited to dancing. I couldn't follow a tune out of a burlap sack." Elissa looked up to see his eyes twinkling and grinned at him, then played the other simple tune that she knew from memory. It was a slow, relaxed dance that set a mellow mood.

"Maybe later I can ask Erlina to teach me some more," she mused. "Or, I can leave the playing to her and just sing." Nathaniel chuckled again and poured them a glass of wine.

-0-0-0-

Zev and Erlina arrived together to bring them their dinner. They brought enough extra to join Elissa and Nathaniel, saying that they thought the couple might enjoy a bit of company. Elissa and Nathaniel both smiled, so the foursome sat down and enjoyed a satisfying meal and a couple of bottles of wine together.

Afterward, Erlina took the lute and played some quiet melodies while the other three played cards. Elissa won the first few rounds, and both Zevran and Nathaniel teased her about cheating.

"I don't cheat!" Elissa straightened in her seat. She pretended to be offended. "I'm just really lucky."

"Just because we've never caught you doesn't mean that you are innocent, my dear," was Zevran's dry reply. Nathaniel covered his laugh by clearing his throat and they continued.

Soon after, the lock turned. All four of them stopped, wary, as the door swung open. They all relaxed once they realized that it was Alistair. He stepped into the room and locked the door behind him. "I didn't know there was a party going on. You should have invited me." He smiled at the four of them, then looked at the table. "Are you _really_ going to play cards against Elissa? You know she cheats something awful."

Nathaniel did laugh out loud this time and Zevran raised an eyebrow at Elissa. _See?_ "Humph." She crossed her arms in front of her and turned her head to the side, trying to suppress a grin. "Just remember how many meals we ate because I won at cards, _Your Majesty_."

"That's it!" Alistair crossed the room and sat down, a gleam in his eye. "For that, I'm going to make _sure _that I win the next round! 'Your Majesty,' indeed." He grabbed the deck and shuffled it before dealing. Erlina shook her head and continued playing the lute.

Elissa grinned. "Do you want to play for stakes?"

Alistair laughed. "No thanks. I don't want to explain to my fiancee where my pants have gone." He nodded to Nathaniel, who was seated on his left. "You go first."

-0-0-0-

She awoke with a start, gasping as she shot up in bed. She took a moment to catch her breath and shook her head to try to clear it of the nightmare.

"Bad dream?" Nathaniel's sleepy voice washed over her. He rolled onto his back and sat up, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands as the sheet fell down around his waist. At her nod, he continued. "Been a while since you had one. Want to talk about it?"

"I dreamt about Fergus, I think." The dream was already fading, so the details were hazy. "I think it was about the Landsmeet. Something bad happening."

He nodded, still too groggy to be truly articulate. "Caused by your worrying about the Landsmeet, do you think?" She pondered on this as he laid down. He put his arm around her and pulled her back under the covers, arranging her body so that he was spooning behind her with her head tucked under his chin.

She felt his breath, warm on her head, as she answered. "Probably," she said with a yawn. His breathing was already evening out and it took her only a moment to fall back asleep in the warmth and security of his arms.

-0-0-0-

They had just finished making love a few minutes earlier, the sweat evaporating off their bodies and changing the cool damp air from a comfortable sensation to a chilly, clammy discomfort. Elissa shivered and pulled the blankets up around them while they talked. With the rain pouring down on the roof and the blankets keeping the chill out, it was a perfect day to stay cozy.

"So, I've been meaning to ask you something."

Elissa traced circles on Nathaniel's chest. "What about?"

"Some of the rumors I'd heard about you during the blight. I was wondering which ones were true."

"This should be fun. What did you hear?"

"For starters, the walking and talking statue. True?"

She laughed. "That is true."

"Really?" He sounded incredulous. "Huh. All right. I thought that was an exaggeration. What about the Qunari?"

"What about Sten?"

"Was he really eight feet tall and had red eyes?"

A laugh. "No. More like seven feet tall and he had purple eyes."

"I heard he murdered an entire city with his bare hands."

She shook her head. "No. He did murder a family before we met him. He fought with us to atone for it."

"The arling full of walking dead?"

"True. That was Redcliffe. Teagan held them off somewhat before we got there looking for Eamon."

He shook his head. "Truth is stranger than fiction. I suppose the werewolves happened then as well."

"Yes. They were cursed. We were lucky enough to convince the keeper to lift the curse."

"The entire cell of Antivan Crows?"

Elissa laughed again. "No. We faced some Crows twice. The first time was when Zev accepted the contract from Loghain-"

"You mean my father."

"Probably, but Loghain ultimately approved it. Anyway, there was a group then, maybe a dozen? I don't remember. Then later, Zev's friend Taliesin came to try to finish Zev off for failing the job and he brought some more. So together there were maybe twenty, twenty-five or so. Hardly an entire cell."

"Zevran's _friend_?"

She nodded. "Apparently. They had done several jobs together before Zev left the Crows. I guess his friend took it personally."

He shook his head again. "I'm glad he survived," he said softly.

"I am too." She ran her hand over his stomach, being careful to mind the ticklish spots.

"Did you really crown Orzammar's king yourself?"

She sighed. "Yes, I did. They wouldn't give us troops for the blight otherwise."

"So much for staying out of politics."

"I know." She sighed again. "The worst was when we had to kill Oghren's first wife."

"...What? Wait, never mind. I can't believe anyone was crazy enough to marry him in the first place."

She chuckled. "He _did_ say that he thought she'd always been a bit … touched. Still, it was hard to do, and he was there and helped us do it. He's never really gotten over her, although I suspect it was for the best that she died in the Deep Roads."

"What was she doing there?"

"Chasing after an obsession. She managed to get her and Oghren's entire house annihilated trying to recover lost technology."

"What was the technology?"

"Golems and their construction, and their … control rods." Her hand had slipped farther under the blanket, and the hitch in his breath gave away the fact that he noticed what she was doing and, more importantly, approved of it.

"That innuendo was horrendous." He smiled at her.

She smiled as she brought her lips to his for a kiss. "Yes, it was." They stopped talking for a while in favor of pursuing more pleasurable activities.

-0-0-0-

Nathaniel wouldn't. Stop. Pacing. The analogy of a caged animal was a perfect way to describe his movements. Elissa was glad they would only need to stay in the room for another day, because if they stayed there for much longer, she would worry for Nathaniel's mental state. As it was, the inactivity and the inability to leave the room were making Elissa feel a bit twitchy as well.

"Let's spar." The words came out of her mouth before she realized she'd thought of the idea, surprising both of them. "I think we have enough room if we move the furniture to the walls."

Nathaniel stopped and looked around the room, considering the idea. "Let's." He pulled one of the chairs over by the bookshelves. "It's better than waiting, and we could both stand to hone our hand-to-hand skills." Elissa stood and helped him move the furniture, then they rolled up the rug and placed it on top of the sofa.

Finally, they squared off against each other. They had decided against using weapons since there was no healer nearby. It would have to be enough to practice the forms without using daggers or swords.

When Erlina arrived several hours later with their supper, they were both exhausted, sweating profusely, and in much better moods. They ate a large meal and went to sleep early.

-0-0-0-

"What do you mean, I won't be at the wedding?" Elissa's voice rose in volume as incredulity took over. "I promised Alistair that I would come, and I promised Alfstanna that I would bear witness for her!"

Zevran sighed. "My dear, you _will_ be at the wedding. Leliana is taking your place there and will be standing in for you."

"It's not the same," Elissa grumbled to herself, mostly. "This is not a good idea, Zev. I'm fairly certain that Fergus will notice that she is not me. Worse, what if he _doesn't_ and he starts an argument? Putting her that close to him, in a public place?" She shook her head. "It's asking for trouble. Not to mention that this could be the basis for an annulment!"

Zevran crossed his arms stubbornly. "You must trust me, Elissa. The Grand Cleric knows that Leliana is standing in for you, and she understands the need for discretion in the matter. And Fergus has agreed to go along with this, for everybody's sakes."

_That's because it makes life easier for him. He won't have to stand there and pretend he's glad to see me._ Elissa realized the thought was uncharitable even as it occurred. At least she hadn't voiced it. She rubbed her forehead tiredly. "Can we trust the Grand Cleric on this?" The thought that there were too many people who knew that Leliana was not-Elissa bothered her, even though she and Nathaniel would be out of the locked room the next day. It was still too much time for Bad Things to happen, and she didn't want their plans blown because of discovery of their ploy. Not to mention that she was starting to feel distinctly helpless in the entire situation. "I trust _you_, Zev. It's everyone else that I worry about."

Zevran's face did not change much, but his tone softened. "I know this is difficult for you, my friend. But we are so very close to having what we need. We just need for you to be patient for a little longer, and then we will be able to have Vaughan right where we want him." He chuckled darkly. "After the Landsmeet begins tomorrow, everything _will_ fall into place. I swear it."

"Can you tell me in what you plan for tomorrow, at least?" The lack of information they'd been given about Zevran's plans was maddening all on its own.

"Alas, I cannot." Zevran shook his head emphatically. "We need for you to respond genuinely to anything that happens. Simply know that I plan to have our _friend_ by the short and curlies, yes?" With this, Zevran's face transformed into a wicked grin. "No matter what happens, we will be ready for tomorrow." He turned to go. "Erlina and I will come by to escort you to the Landsmeet chamber early. Be sure to dress nicely, both of you." He unlocked the door and let himself out.

Elissa sat on the sofa gracelessly and put her chin in her hands. She let out a frustrated sigh. "This is annoying," she complained to Nathaniel, who was sitting on the other end of the sofa. "I feel like they're all inconveniencing themselves for me. Alfstanna really _wanted_ me there, and if people find out … Politically, this could be really bad for everyone involved."

She felt Nathaniel shift closer to her and smooth his hand over her back. "Yes, it _is_ annoying," he agreed. "But you know that they understand. I'm just glad that Fergus understands the need for all this and is going along with it. A month ago, I doubt he would have agreed to this."

Elissa turned her head to look at him. "I suppose," she said unhappily. "Still, I feel like I'm letting people down. I'll be glad when this is over and we can go back to worrying more about darkspawn than humans."

Nathaniel chuckled and pulled her closer to him. "You won't hear any arguments from me on that point, love. At least it's only one more day."

-0-0-0-

"Are you ready?" He was pulling his boots on as he asked her. She looked herself over in the mirror; the gown, gold and cream with brown accents, fit her frame perfectly, thanks to Erna's excellent craftsmanship, and reflected Amaranthine's colors beautifully. Elissa had made sure to keep the gold and cream colors prominent to emphasize those same colors in Ferelden's heraldry as well; she figured the subconscious deference to Alistair's reign would only help that day. She checked to make sure her hair was smoothly pulled back into its customary bun. Not a hair was out of place. She turned to look at Nathaniel.

He had chosen his outfit wisely too, she thought. Since she was representing Amaranthine in the Landsmeet, he had chosen to wear the royal blue and silver colors of the Grey Wardens. It didn't hurt at all, she thought, that those colors suited him perfectly. "I'm ready," she replied. "As ready as I'll ever be, at least." She walked across the room to him as he stood. "What about you?"

After a week of mostly-relaxing, the calculating look was back in his eye. He studied her face, then cupped her chin with one hand. "As ready as I can be, considering." He paused for a moment. "Love, if things don't go as planned ..." He looked worried.

"They have to. If they don't, at least we'll be together." Elissa was unwilling to even _think_ about the consequences if things didn't go well. "did you put the knives in your boots?"

Nathaniel nodded at her. "Of course, and in my vest. You?" She nodded; not only did she have the throwing knives hidden in her boots, but Erna had designed hidden sheaths for small daggers in her corset. Still more were hidden in her skirt, cleverly sheathed in slim pockets designed for such a purpose.

Nathaniel's eyes grew determined as she straightened herself. The change in his posture mirrored her own assumption of the regal, haughty noble role. He offered her an arm and she took it as the door opened. They walked out of the tower with Zevran and Erlina flanking them, heads held high and projecting an air of confidence. They would need it that day.


	35. The Landsmeet, Part I

A/N: _Thank you to everyone who has been generously reading and reviewing this and my other stories. Just after the last chapter, I have passed the 150 reviews mark! For me, this is really exciting stuff. Thank you, all of you, who have been kind enough to leave me feedback and say nice things about the story. Also, I would like to thank those people who have read the story even if you have not reviewed. Knowing that you're out there reading is really encouraging as well. _

_On to the story!_

-0-0-0-

They were just in front of the Landsmeet chamber when Zevran and Erlina pulled them aside. "A moment before you enter?" Zevran asked. Elissa walked with him to a corner of the room, where they would be able to speak without being overheard, and Erlina and Nathaniel followed them. Once they were gathered, Zevran turned around to address both Nathaniel and Elissa.

"I have only two bits of advice for today," he said, looking at Elissa meaningfully. "The first is to be proud of the truth. The second," and here he paused, looking at Nathaniel and back to Elissa again before continuing, "is to go for what you want. Today is about _you_, my friend, whether _they_ know it or not." He smiled then, the mischievous tilt of his lips a sharp contrast to the severity of the chamber they were about to enter. "Be prepared for anything to happen." He looked like he was enjoying himself. "Maybe when this is all done I will take up the fair Erlina on her offer to undergo bardic training, yes?"

"Maker watch over you," Erlina added after offering an exasperated yet amused glance at Zevran. "You both know court politics, and today will be no exception." She tugged on Zevran's arm and walked with him to the center of the room, giving Nathaniel and Elissa a moment of privacy.

"This is it." Nathaniel looked at Elissa, studying her face as if he was memorizing it. "How are you feeling?"

Elissa allowed her expression to soften, just ever so slightly, as she looked into Nathaniel's eyes. "Nervous," she admitted. "I'm not used to having others run the show when it affects me." She shrugged a little when Nathaniel smiled briefly in understanding. "You?"

"About the same. Be careful, love." He touched her hand briefly, the contact warm and familiar, then turned so they were both facing the Landsmeet chamber doors. "I suppose it's time." They walked toward the doors, as ready as they were going to be to play their as-yet unknown parts in the play that was about to begin.

-0-0-0-

_The annoying thing about getting to a meeting early is staying ready for it._ Elissa idly watched the lords and ladies of the land trickle into the Landsmeet chamber. The banns and freeholders took the lower level of the chamber, while the arls and other higher-level nobles were at the higher level, able to look over the railing upon the mass gathered below. Elissa stepped closer to the rail to see who had already arrived.

Bann Gilmore and Bann Ferrenly were near the center of the floor, talking with each other animatedly. Shianni was off to the side, looking decidedly uncomfortable, although the soldier stationed near her was speaking with her. _Wait, there's something familiar about that soldier._ Elissa focused on the soldier's appearance for a moment trying to place it. _Should I worry? _She watched the soldier as he gestured with his hands while talking, then he turned and she realized why he looked familiar. _It's Eric!_ The thought relieved her greatly; she was glad that Zev and Erlina had thought to put Wardens in place as part of the guard. This knowledge in hand, she looked more closely to see who else was down on the lower floor.

A female soldier in light armor was standing on the other end of the room. Elissa caught a trace of red hair peeking out from the edge of her helm. _There's Leliana._ She noticed Zev and Erlina were still on the floor downstairs, as was Nathaniel, and all three were milling about, watching the nobles arrive as well. They were making a point to spread out across the room and not congregate in one place. Directly across from her was another familiar figure. It took Elissa another moment to place the man in splintmail before she realized it was Kylon. _How did Zev get him here so quickly?_ Nevertheless, she was glad to see Kylon was also part of the guard that day.

As she continued scanning the crowd, she realized that she saw Ser Perth amongst the assembled banns. He was wearing finely cut clothing instead of the armor she had become accustomed to seeing him wear, and he was talking to a blonde man who looked incredibly familiar to her, although she couldn't place him from a distance. He was as tall as Perth, and his hair flowed loosely around his face and touched his shoulders. The pair noticed her observing them, and both bowed to her. The familiar blonde smirked as he did so, which caused her to recognize him. She smiled at Anders and Perth and bowed back. _Sneaky. I like it. I can't believe just letting his hair down and putting him into a noble's outfit makes him look that different. Since there are so many new banns since the war, they'll never be noticed if they're at all careful._

After Elissa had finished scanning the crowd below, she looked at the nobles who had already assembled on the upper level. Vaughan was there with a perpetual sneer on his face. When she saw her looking at him, his expression changed to one of smug satisfaction and he openly leered at her. She controlled her inner desire to walk over to him and punch him, and instead smiled sweetly at him. His expression changed to a scowl and his eyes burned with hatred.

Arl Wulff was already there, and he offered a nod and a bow to her. She returned the gesture and smiled at him in thanks. Fergus had also arrived and was studiously _not_ looking at her. She kept her face calm but was saddened that she could easily see resignation and grief in his eyes. She wondered if he knew it was there and if anyone else had picked it up. It was hard to know if others would see it, since she had spent a lifetime learning his face. _I'm sorry to see you like this, Brother. I wish … _She shook her head slightly. There was no point in wishing. Wishing for things that were not likely to ever happen would only lead to heartache and bitterness. It was far better to think about what _was_ rather than what _might have been_ and figure out a way to move forward.

It rather surprised Elissa that the Grand Cleric actually acknowledged her presence. While she knew little of the woman, her minimal experience with the religious leader of Ferelden had proven that Mother Colleen was a haughty, self-righteous, insufferable creature who valued bureaucracy and religious posturing above all else. It was even more surprising to see, flanked on either side of her, First Enchanter Irving and Knight-Commander Greagoir. Elissa had never heard of the head of the Knights Templar and the Circle of Magi at a Landsmeet before, and surmised that Alistair must have invited them to the event. Mother Colleen bowed to her briefly, and Elissa returned the greeting respectfully. She exchanged silent greetings with Irving and Greagoir in the same manner, although they actually looked pleased to see her. Elissa made a note to speak with them after the Landsmeet and see how Eleanor was faring.

The rest of the banns and arls eventually arrived; all that remained was for Alistair and Alfstanna to make their presences known. They didn't have to wait much longer. Suddenly, to Elissa's left, a pair of massive doors swung open and in walked Alistair and Alfstanna, holding hands and smiling to all those assembled. They looked confident and, if Elissa wasn't mistaken, very comfortable as King and Queen of Ferelden. Not for the first time, Elissa thought that Alistair had grown into his new role quite nicely. Applause and cheers broke out throughout the hall as the royal couple walked together to their spot on the upper level. They had to pass by Elissa to do so, and as they walked by her, Alistair murmured, "Well, _this_ should be a fun day," as he looked knowingly at Elissa. She bowed to him and Alfstanna, as was proper, and smiled at them without answering. Alistair and Alfstanna took their places on Fergus' other side before Alistair raised his hand to calm the still-cheering crowd, and the Landsmeet began.

"Lords and Ladies, welcome to the Landsmeet." Alistair spoke clearly and loudly, his voice ringing through the hall. Elissa was impressed; this was a far cry from when he first became king. _He's been working on his public speaking_. "Thank you all for coming today. Let's begin." He looked around the room to ensure he had everyone's attention. "The first order of business: The teyrnir of Gwaren. It has gone without rule for far too long. To this end, I would like to offer this seat to someone who has served Ferelden above and beyond the call of duty – not once, but twice now, in as many years – and who has proven time and again her dedication to the throne." _Uh oh. Did he say 'her'?_ Elissa raised an eyebrow. _He had better not be doing what I think he is._ "Elissa Cousland, I would like to offer you the position of Teyrna of Gwaren."

Elissa was dimly aware of the large number of banns who were cheering raucously, but she chose not to focus on that. She looked down for the one face she wanted to see and found it. Nathaniel was staring at her with wide eyes, his jaw hanging open giving him the look of pure shock that she was sure was mirrored on her own face. She lifted her eyes and across from her, Vaughan stared at her with pure and uncontrolled fury written all over his face. She turned to face Alistair, ignoring Fergus' ambivalent look, and waited for the roar to subside. She wasn't sure if the roaring was coming from her ears or from the assembled mass of people on the floor of the assembly chamber.

_Be proud of the truth; go for what you want._ Zevran's words came back to her as she met Alistair's expectant gaze. She studied his face before she smiled. _I know what to do. Zevran, you clever bastard. This is the perfect way to gauge my political situation and you will know who to look out for. _When she smiled, Alistair did too. _And you, Alistair, have learned this game far _too_ well. You know exactly what I will say to this._ With these thoughts in her mind, her initial panic calmed and she composed herself so that when she spoke, it would be with a clear voice that would carry over the Landsmeet chamber.

"Your Majesty," she began. She bowed deeply to him and the last cheers subsided. "I am honored beyond compare that you would consider me able to adequately handle this position. However, I must respectfully decline." The roar that arose from the chamber was deafening; she had to wait several minutes for it to subside enough to continue speaking. While she waited, she watched Alistair's face. His smile broadened a little more and he nodded ever so slightly. After the din eased a bit, she continued. "My duties as a Grey Warden must come first, Your Majesty, and I feel I can best serve Ferelden in my current capacity." She bowed again and waited for the roar of approval to subside. When she looked at Nathaniel again, he gave her a slight nod and his face was relaxed.

Alistair spoke next. He turned to the Landsmeet chamber and said, "Then I have a question to ask of you, Warden-Commander. Who do _you_ think should become the next Teyrn?" Murmurs broke out amongst the nobility; this was a highly unusual move for their king to make. Elissa looked at Fergus. His eyes were calculating and he looked at her as if to say _what will you do about this?_ She considered for a moment, then turned to answer.

"If it pleases Your Majesty and is acceptable to the Landsmeet, I would like to suggest that Arl Wulff become the new Teyrn. His lands were amongst the worst hit by the blight. Despite his losses, he has remained loyal to the throne and has proven to be a clear voice of reason during troubled times. He is a fair and just man, and would continue to serve Ferelden well." As she said this, she looked to where Arl Wulff was standing, across from her, and smiled. Arl Wulff looked stunned as the Landsmeet roared again and most of the nobles assembled turned to him and cheered just as loudly as before. She turned to Fergus and Alistair. _Did I do the right thing?_ She tried to question them with her eyes, and Alistair smiled at her. Fergus was more reticent, but he did nod his head once in approval. She felt reassured by her choice.

"Very well," Alistair said to the Landsmeet when order was restored. "Gallagher Wulff, I offer _you_ the Teyrnir of Gwaren. What say you?"

Wulff stepped forward and bowed low. "Your Majesty, I would be most honored. I accept." He bowed to the assembled nobles who cheered again.

Elissa took the opportunity to glance at Vaughan. He was beyond furious now; his face was mottled and his glare could have peeled someone's skin off. At that moment he looked like he wanted that someone to be Elissa. He started to shout, but it took a while for what he was shouting to be audible over the cheering of the assembled banns. After a good while, he could be heard across the Landsmeet chamber.

"Your Majesty! This is an outrage!" Elissa heard some gasps, but most of the hall went silent as Vaughan managed to capture the attention of those assembled. "I _must_ protest, Your Majesty. You can _not_ count on that woman's word! She is a traitor to the throne!"


	36. The Landsmeet, Part II

_He's really going to try to do this._ Elissa had fully expected Vaughan to try an accusation of treason at the Landsmeet, especially since his efforts thus far had been thwarted at every turn. She was shocked that he planned to continue to try after Zevran had so masterfully set the stage to remind everyone why she was called a hero, however, and wondered if he had come up with some angle that hadn't occurred to the elven assassin. She tried to surreptitiously glance at the floor of the Landsmeet chamber, but she couldn't see any sign of blonde hair and pointed ears.

She turned to look at Alistair, who was frowning, but his posture was relaxed. He had one hand on the railing, and the other was behind it, hidden from the crowds below but easily visible to Elissa. He made a gesture and Elissa's eyes widened. _Is that …?_ She looked at Fergus, who actually made eye contact with her and nodded slightly. _When did Fergus have the time to teach Alistair our family's hand signals?_ For Alistair had just given her the signal that things were going as planned. _I hope you're right._

"Treason?" Alistair looked directly at Vaughan. "Treason is a serious charge, Arl Kendalls. Are you certain you want to accuse the _Hero of Ferelden_ of treason?" He emphasized the most common title that Elissa was known by and several people murmured down below.

"I most certainly do!" Vaughan's anger was slowly dissipating and was being replaced with something darker, more sinister, more calculated. His frown turned into a sneer as he waved a young-looking female elf to his side and handed her some scrolls. "I have proof." The murmuring increased and Vaughan's sneer turned smug. "I'm sending my servant to you with contracts signed by the Warden-Commander herself. These contracts call for the assassination of King Alistair and Queen Alfstanna."

There was outright gossiping on the floor below at this point. The elven servant walked around the upper balcony, moving slowly but surely toward Alistair while the buzz below gradually rose in volume and threatened to drown out all but the loudest shouting. The servant started to walk past Elissa and she moved to allow the woman past. As the elf passed her, she murmured quietly, "The Dark Wolf sends his regards." If Elissa hadn't been paying close attention, she would have missed it. The servant barely moved her lips to speak and her expression never changed from that of an abused employee. The woman continued on her way, passing Fergus and making her way over to Alistair. She handed him the scrolls she was carrying, and Alistair opened them up one by one and looked at them. As he examined them, a feeling of anticipation swelled in the room, causing a hush to fall over the Landsmeet.

Alistair examined the seals on each document, then appeared to read each one carefully. The tension in the room grew to the point where it became a tangible thing, making the air thick and heavy. It bore down on the assembled nobles, causing many of them to shift uncomfortably in their spots. Finally, Alistair spoke. He addressed Vaughan first. "How did you come into possession of these?" he asked.

"Does it matter?" Vaughan's gaze had become confident and arrogant. "What matters is that justice is done!" He sneered at Elissa, then looked back at Alistair.

"That is true. We _do_ want justice for crimes committed. Tell me, Vaughan: have these documents been changed or tampered in any way since they came into your possession?"

Vaughan straightened and a look of victory came upon his face. "No, Your Majesty. I personally kept them safe. I knew that they were important evidence so I ensured that nobody else would even see them until I had the opportunity to give them to you." He crossed his arms, his entire posture radiating smugness. He was even _smiling_. The look was not attractive on his face.

Alistair paused and carefully handed the scrolls to Alfstanna, who also looked them over. The Landsmeet held its collective breath as he cleared his throat. "These documents," he said, addressing the nobles, "appear to have the Cousland seal upon them. They also appear to have been written in the last week. Since I have the assurance of the Arl of Denerim that they have not been altered in any way, I trust that they were written on the dates listed. The signature on the bottom is signed in what appears to be a woman's handwriting, and the name listed is that of Elissa Cousland." Murmuring started again on the floor, but Alistair raised his hand and the nobles fell silent. "_However_," he continued, "I have good reason to believe that these documents are forgeries." Elissa watched Vaughan's eyes grow wide and the Landsmeet chamber went from silent to excited gossiping in a mere instant.

Alistair let the Landsmeet's collective voice come to a roar. _He's certainly developed a flair for the dramatic in the past two years, hasn't he?_ Elissa also suspected that he was stalling for time. For what, she did not know. She watched Alistair make eye contact with someone down below and followed the path of his gaze. She was surprised to see that he was communicating silently with Nathaniel, who was quickly making his way to the stairs of the Landsmeet chamber. Nathaniel passed by the guards, who obviously had been informed that this would happen and let him pass without incident. He made it to Elissa's side before the noise died down on its own. Elissa turned to Alistair, who was half-facing her, and half-facing the Landsmeet. Fergus had backed off so that they could have a clear line of sight to each other.

Once the talking had abated enough, Alistair began to speak again, silencing the rest of the gossip. Elissa could almost see the neck strain of everyone craning their necks to hear what he said. He kept eye contact with her as he addressed the nobles. "Many of you know that Lady Cousland fell ill with the chicken pox two weeks ago," he started. Many of the nobles bobbed their heads vigorously in agreement, having seen her personally. "What you do _not_ know, however, is that she has been under constant supervision during that entire time for her own safety. She spent a week in the Arl of Redcliffe's estates, and then for this past week she was a personal guest of the throne, staying in the palace under lock and key. She has been guarded constantly during that entire time by guards that I hand-picked to ensure that nobody would attack her in her weakened state."

"But I saw her at the wedding yesterday!" one noble shouted.

Another cried out, "And she was shopping in the market district three days ago! I saw her there with her men!" The din swelled again and it took several minutes for order to be restored.

When it finally did slow down, Alistair addressed the nobles who shouted. "Did you see the face of this person?" he asked. Puzzled, the nobles looked at him and shook their heads. "I heard the rumors as well. However, all the rumors involved a woman wearing a _veil_ who did not speak with anyone. Bartholomew!" he called to the floor.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" One of the guards stationed around the chamber stepped forward.

"Please, explain to everyone where you spent the last week."

"I was captain of the guards keeping watch over the tower, Your Majesty."

"Why were you keeping watch there, Bartholomew?"

"Because you ordered us to protect the Hero of Ferelden and her second-in-command, Your Majesty."

"Did you see their faces?"

"Yes, Your Majesty." Elissa thought she detected a smile on Bartholomew's face. She recognized him, now, and remembered when he had burst in at an … inopportune moment and got to see much more than just their faces. _To be fair, it probably _did_ sound like we were being attacked. _She repressed the urge to grin and refused to look at Nathaniel's face, afraid she might start to laugh at the _worst_ time possible.

"Can you point out these people to the Landsmeet, please?"

The guard nodded and pointed directly at Elissa and Nathaniel. "Those two, up there, Your Majesty. They're the ones standing in front of Amaranthine's colors." Quiet murmuring arose from the floor again.

"Did they communicate with anyone while they were under your protection, Ser?"

"Just a pair of elven servants and yourself, Your Majesty."

"Did they ever leave during the time that you were to protect them?"

"No, Your Majesty."

"Very good. Thank you, Bartholomew." The guard bowed low to Alistair and stepped back to his post.

Elissa heard Vaughan's voice rise above the murmuring. He sounded angry again. "The scrolls! Your Majesty, those scrolls have the Cousland seal!" This set off a new round of whispers and gossip. "You protected this traitor and she was sending out assassination orders _from the palace?_"

"I am getting to that, Vaughan!" Alistair's voice was sharp and commanding. Vaughan fell silent, but glowered across the room. He didn't need to say anything to make his displeasure known. Alistair turned to Elissa. "Lady Elissa, I need to ask you about these documents. Did you write or sign these contracts?"

Elissa bowed. "No, I did not, Your Majesty."

Vaughan shouted, "You can't take her word-"

"SILENCE!" Alistair's voice turned thundrous. He glared at Vaughan to make his point. "I am still speaking!" The hall hushed as Alistair turned back to Elissa. He kept his voice stern, but she could see his eyes twinkle. "I presume you can prove that you did not write these?" He idly waved the documents that he was still holding.

"I can, Your Majesty." _Be proud of the truth._ "You said that those documents have the Cousland seal upon them?"

"Yes I did." Alistair waited for her to continue.

"I have not had a Cousland signet ring in my possession for months now. I returned my mother's ring to Teyrn Cousland upon his request."

Alistair turned to Fergus. "Is this true, Teyrn Cousland?"

Fergus stepped forward and looked at Elissa, his gaze unsure until he saw Nathaniel standing at her side. Then his gaze hardened and he spoke loudly. "Yes, it is true, Your Majesty. I requested that the former Teyrna's signet ring be returned to me four months ago, and the Warden-Commander complied with my request immediately."

"Why is that, Teyrn Cousland?"

Fergus' voice strengthened. "I had become aware that Grey Wardens traditionally give up their former lives once they join the order, and thus the Cousland family ring needed to return to its proper owner." He showed his hand to those assembled; his pinky glittered in the light. "This was my father's ring." He fished out a necklace that was hidden under his clothing. Another heavy ring glittered on the end of the chain he held. "And this was my mother's ring. These are the only two legitimate Cousland signet rings in all of Ferelden."

With all the ebb and flow of noise that occurred in the Landsmeet that day, Elissa was sure that somewhere an ocean was missing its waves in compensation. The room burst with shouts and talking as people excitedly discussed everything that was going on. For her part, Elissa was somewhat stunned. _Fergus had the perfect opportunity to announce that he had disowned me. Why didn't he?_ She looked at him questioningly, waiting for him to acknowledge her. He refused to look at her, instead focusing on the floor below.

Alistair, for his part, looked inordinately pleased by the events thus far. _He should look pleased; he's putting on a great show._ Elissa glanced at Alfstanna, who looked at Alistair proudly and smiled as she met Elissa's eyes. _I'm glad that you two found each other._ She smiled at Alfstanna in response.

Once the noise had settled to a dull roar, Alistair took center stage again. "I believe that we have adequately proved that Lady Elissa did _not_ write these missives. The question now becomes, 'who did?'"

This observation caused the room to fall silent as if an invisible blanket had fallen over the crowd. Nearly everyone in the room looked confused, glancing at each other with wide eyes. Elissa risked a look at Vaughan, whose face was shocked and furious. The change that overcame it was subtle, yet Elissa could pinpoint the exact moment when his alternate plan clicked in his mind. He straightened yet again, and broke the silence. "I would suggest that Nathaniel Howe is behind all this," he sneered.

Before the crowd could start, Elissa jumped in. "That is not possible." She let conviction ring in her voice. "Nathaniel is my second-in-command and has not left my side for the past two weeks." The wide eyes turned to her, then to Nathaniel. Some of the nobles' eyes got impossibly wider as they recognized the distinctive Howe profile.

"Not left your side!" Vaughan scoffed. "Surely you have bathed and slept in the past two weeks." His voice turned to a sneer and his look dared her to contradict him.

"We both have, and I did not misspeak." Elissa raised her chin. _Be proud of the truth._ "When I said that Nathaniel has not left my side for the past two weeks, _I meant it._" She felt Nathaniel's arm across her shoulders, reassuring her at the same time that he punctuated the meaning behind her statement. All erupted into chaos again.

Nathaniel murmured softly, so that only Elissa could hear it. "Between Alistair and yourself, the nobles will be sure to get in line to attend the next Landsmeet." She smiled as she heard him chuckle under his breath.

Vaughan's face had bypassed red and gone straight to purple with rage. His shouting was drowned out by everyone else's excitement, but Elissa was fairly certain that she knew what he was saying. She was also certain that none of it was flattering, especially given Teagan's raised eyebrow when he looked in Vaughan's direction. Elissa looked to the floor and was surprised to find Zevran in his former spot, looking up at Alistair and nodding. At this, Alistair raised his hand again and little by little, the nobles fell gradually silent.

"Now that we have also firmly established Nathaniel Howe's innocence in this matter, we must look elsewhere." Alistair paused. "Does anyone have any information pertaining to this matter?" He paused again as the nobles looked around the room and murmured softly. This time, Elissa thought the pause was probably a bit too long, but she supposed he couldn't have perfect timing every single time.

A quiet female voice meekly cut through the murmuring. "I...I do, Your Majesty." Vaughan's elven servant, who until now had been forgotten, stepped forward next to Alistair. "I work for Arl Vaughan Kendalls, and I have seen evidence that he is the traitor."

"WHAT?" Vaughan roared with fury. Elissa was glad that the elven woman was on their side of the room. Otherwise, she was sure Vaughan would have disemboweled her on the spot. "You knife-eared _bitch!_ Nobody would believe _your_ word, _whore_. You're nobody and I'm the Arl of bloody Denerim!" He lunged to the railing as if he wanted to leap across it at the woman. "You have no _proof._"

"VAUGHAN!" Alistair's voice barked out. He looked commanding, imposing even, and the tone of his voice actually got through Vaughan's tirade. Vaughan growled but stood down. Alistair continued. "I will listen to this charge as I would do for _any other citizen in Ferelden_. A treason charge is a treason charge, and it _must_ be investigated." He turned to the elf. "What is your name, miss?"

"Myrella, Your Majesty."

"How long have you worked for the Arl of Denerim?"

"Three months or so, Your Majesty."

"Can you confirm this, Arl Kendalls?" Alistair looked across the room at Vaughan, who was fuming.

"Yes." Vaughan's answer was angry and clipped. It was obvious to everyone that the elf no longer had a job at his estate.

"What evidence have you seen, Myrella?" Alistair's voice was encouraging and soothing. For her part, Myrella played the part of the frightened, oppressed servant so well that Elissa started to imagine that the woman had informed her she was part of the Dark Wolf organization. The woman stammered and looked down at the floor, wringing her hands and murmuring something unintelligible. Alistair took her by the shoulders. "Please, speak up miss," he said quietly as a hush fell over the crowd. Everyone seemed to be straining to hear her words.

Just then, the main doors to the landsmeet chamber opened with a loud bang and several armored guards came rushing in. "Your Majesty!" one of them shouted as he ran to the middle of the room. "Your Majesty!"

Alistair turned to the center of the room. He managed to pretend surprise well enough that Elissa thought most people would have thought it was genuine. "Captain! We are in the middle of an important meeting here!"

The captain, for his part, looked nonplussed. "But Your Majesty, I come with important news!" He took a deep breath, suddenly realizing that all eyes were focused on him. He stood up straight and saluted Alistair. "We received an anonymous tip this morning, Your Majesty, and investigated it. I found something!"

Alistair raised an eyebrow. "Well, what is it, man? Don't leave us all in suspense!" Elissa heard Nathaniel's smothered snort behind her. _As if we haven't had suspense all day._ She made a mental note to tease Alistair about it later and turned her attention back to the floor.

"We were told that the Arl of Denerim had been planning treason and was trying to set up the Couslands to take the fall, Your Majesty. When we searched the Arl's room, we found a Cousland signet ring and unsigned scrolls that called for your assassination!" The guard's eyes widened as a wave of noise broke out, drowning everything else he might have said out completely.

If the scene had been chaos before, now it had turned into an absolute _frenzy._ The guards were shouting and waving weapons, several ladies fainted (and some of them might have genuinely fainted rather than affecting it!), and other nobles drew weapons and started to attack. Elissa looked about to try to assess the situation on the floor first – the Wardens were acting in concert with the guards, trying to protect those most likely to be attacked. She noted with satisfaction that Eric was keeping Shianni close and that Anders was casting his magic. He looked at an oncoming noble with daggers in hand and chanted, causing the noble to slump forward as if in a deep sleep. Satisfied that while the floor was a mess, it would shortly be under control, she looked at the balcony. A quick sweep indicated that in the confusion, she had lost track of Vaughan. She swore to herself and pulled the daggers from her boots. _We can't let him get away!_

"Fergus!" she heard Nathaniel shout as her brother somehow magically sprouted an arrow from his shoulder. Nathaniel grabbed the teyrn and brought him to the floor just as another arrow narrowly missed Fergus' neck. He quickly removed the arrow from Fergus' shoulder while she looked with wide eyes to see how Alistair and Alfstanna were doing.

Alistair had placed his bride behind him and somehow had managed to find a shield, although he was swordless. Elissa pulled one of the long daggers from her skirt's sheathes and tossed it to him, pommel first. "Alistair! Catch!" He caught the weapon deftly and nodded to her as he continued to block both himself and Alfstanna from any stray weapon fire. She crouched down by where Fergus was lying. "Thanks." She grimaced as she looked at Fergus' shoulder. "I can keep pressure on it." Nathaniel nodded and quickly removed his hands so that she could replace them with hers, and she applied pressure.

Fergus was awake and grimacing in pain. "I'll be all right," he muttered, then tried to shift his position slightly. It was apparently a bad idea; he let off a string of colorful curses. "Hurts though."

"We'll get you a healer," Elissa promised as Nathaniel ran off. "We just need to keep you from bleeding too much before they control the mess downstairs."

Fergus nodded, although his face was a mask of pain. "Busy day today," he remarked, the sound almost casual but still marked by his injury. Elissa nodded as she kept the pressure on her brother's shoulder. He looked at her. "Let's talk later."

"All right," she agreed. She studied his face; it was not calm, by any means, but she saw something in his eyes. She couldn't identify what it was, exactly, but it gave her hope that her relationship with her brother was not completely lost. He watched her as well, and remained silent as a look of concentration fell on his face and sweat broke out on his brow. For her part, Elissa focused on trying to keep the bleeding from going out of control and waited.

Nathaniel returned shortly with Irving and Greagoir in tow. Nathaniel was guarding the Grand Cleric while Greagoir was shielding Irving with his armor-plated body. "Irving can heal," he shouted above the din. "I'm going to get the Grand Cleric to – ELISSA!"

The sound of alarm in Nathaniel's voice caused Elissa to look up at him. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as she watched him lunge forward. She followed his progress, turning her head to see Vaughan headed straight for her, daggers drawn, with a look of murder in his eyes. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that murder was exactly what he had in mind; they had pushed him too far and he looked crazed.

Time sped up again and went faster than it should as the two men clashed. Nathaniel's daggers were also drawn by the time he reached Vaughan and he blocked Vaughan's progress. Elissa had not realized that Vaughan was as accomplished in melee as he was, and she and Nathaniel were both somewhat at a disadvantage when fighting in close quarters. Despite this, Nathaniel was holding his own and had managed to disarm Vaughan quickly.

Vaughan was not deterred, however. "Die, bitch!" he shouted and tried to lunge straight for Elissa. "I'll kill you!" Nathaniel blocked him by crouching low and shoving his shoulder into Vaughan's stomach, causing him to lose forward momentum and lose his balance. Vaughan overcompensated by swaying backward and time slowed again.

Vaughan's hips hit the railing, but the force that Nathaniel had hit him with kept him moving backward. Elissa saw the shock in Vaughan's eyes, then she _felt _shock as he grabbed on to Nathaniel's tunic to try to right himself, but it wasn't enough. Vaughan kept going …

… and pulled Nathaniel over the railing with him.

-0-0-0-

A/N: _Sorry about yet another cliffhanger. This really seemed like the best place to end the chapter, rather than making this chapter three times as long as most of the others. Bear with me – I will try to get the next chapter out soon, despite the holiday weekend. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me!_


	37. Back to the Palace, Again

She stared at the empty space that until just a moment ago had two occupants in it. She willed the image in her mind to change and blinked to clear her vision. The space was still empty.

_That didn't just happen._ _I just imagined that. There is no way that I just saw Vaughan pull Nathaniel over … no. No._ She shook her head to clear it and focused on keeping pressure on Fergus' wound.

"You can let go now. I will heal him," Irving's voice, rusty with age, finally registered in her ear. Apparently they had been trying to get her attention for a little while, because Greagoir was gently prying her hands off Fergus' shoulder. Her hands wouldn't work; she couldn't make them move, even though her fingers were slippery with blood. She stared uncomprehendingly at them until Greagoir's voice, sharp in her ear, caught her attention.

"Elissa!" She turned to Greagoir as if to say _yes?_ But no words emerged. He stood and pulled Elissa to her feet. "Your brother will be fine. Irving's got him. Go to Nathaniel." The look on his face, a mixture of understanding and pity, looked so foreign to her that it took her a moment to comprehend what he was saying. _Nathaniel? Nathaniel!_ Comprehension finally kicked in and she spun around and wiped her hands on her skirt before walking briskly to the railing. She gripped it with both of her hands and looked over the edge.

The first thing that caught her attention was that there was so _much_ blood. Vaughan and Nathaniel were both lying on the floor motionless. Vaughan was lying on his back, one leg twisted horribly underneath him, and his eyes were fixed open, issuing a horrified expression at some unspecified point on the ceiling. She thought numbly that he must have died the moment he impacted with the stone floor. Nathaniel was lying on the floor as well, currently in a face-down position, although Anders and Zevran were right there. They were gently rolling him over and Elissa could see streaks of light leaving Anders' fingers and surrounding Nathaniel's prone form. Both Vaughan and Nathaniel, and now Anders and Zevran, were coated in a pool of blood that extended several feet out from where they were lying motionless.

_If Anders is there, Nathaniel must still be alive!_ Suddenly, she couldn't move quickly enough and she ran to the end of the room, where the stairs to the lower level sat mockingly. _Too slow!_ She slid down the bannister, jumping off and running across the floor to where Anders was casting. She slipped and nearly fell in the pool of blood, but righted herself as she skidded to a halt and knelt next to Anders.

She looked at Nathaniel; he looked so peaceful lying there, as if he hadn't a care in the world. His face was relaxed, his brow uncreased, and if it wasn't for the blood that had gotten on the side of his face and the swelling on his cheek, it would have been easy for someone to think he had just decided to take a nap. She looked at Anders, who wore a look of concentration unlike anything she had ever seen, even when he had healed Oghren when the dwarf had accidentally given himself alcohol poisoning.

"What can I do?" she asked quietly.

"You stay here. Zevran, I need lyrium potions. Strong ones. A _lot_ of them." Anders continued casting, not looking up as Zevran got up and ran off somewhere.

"Here." Elissa looked up to see Greagoir, standing above her, presenting her with a handful of blue vials. "They're strong. Be careful with them." He looked at Elissa and nodded once. "I keep some on me at all times, just in case."

Elissa took them from Greagoir. "Thank you." She turned to Anders. "Tell me when."

"Now!" Anders was sweating and his hands were beginning to shake. "I'm about out of mana here." Elissa quickly uncorked the first vial and Anders tilted his head back. She poured the concoction into his mouth and he swallowed it completely in one gulp. After a second, the shaking in his hands stopped and he nodded as he looked back down at his work. "I'll need another one in about two, maybe three minutes. Be ready."

They continued on, Anders working nearly entirely around Nathaniel's head, and Elissa practically drowning Anders in strong lyrium potions. Elissa's focus narrowed to the two men on the floor except for when Zevran returned, many vials in his possession, and wordlessly handed them to her. Anders kept casting, but after a little while he tersely explained what was happening. "He has a cracked skull. I'm trying to heal it and keep the swelling down in his brain. He has a broken arm too, but until his head is fixed ..." He fell silent for a moment, then, "Now." Elissa uncorked another lyrium potion and poured it into Anders' mouth.

Anders continued working for quite some time. As Elissa fed him more lyrium, he became chattier. He also started to make less and less sense, and he started shaking his head periodically, as if to clear it. Each time he shook his head Elissa looked at him and noticed his eyes got more glazed. By the time Irving had managed to find his way to where they were working, Anders was fully babbling and Elissa wondered if he could see any more. Irving took one look at Anders and immediately took charge. "Greagoir, he's addled. I'll take over healing."

Elissa looked up to see Greagoir nod before the Knight-Commander dragged Anders up off the floor. Anders started yammering at Greagoir about how they never hung out anymore and how they really needed to go get a pint sometime and did Greagoir want to do it now before they went back to the Tower and locked him in solitary again and did Greagoir like scarves? Greagoir shook his head and grabbed Anders around the waist with one hand, pulled Anders' arm over his shoulder with the other and half-walked, half-dragged Anders out of the room in a cloud of words and lyrium. Elissa turned back to Irving, who was working on Nathaniel's left arm.

"Anders did a remarkable job with Nathaniel," Irving said as he cast over Nathaniel's forearm. "The swelling is down, which is amazing considering the fall Nathaniel took. At this point all we can do is wait to see when he awakens." He finished casting on Nathaniel's forearm and started checking his ribcage and legs. After he finished his examination, he leaned back. "He can be moved gently now," he announced. "All that can be done has been done. All that's left is to clean him up and wait."

-0-0-0-

Two days. Two long, agonizing days. Elissa shifted in her seat as she continued to watch Nathaniel's chest rise and fall shallowly. He hadn't gotten worse; once Anders was more or less his normal self, he had checked Nathaniel and declared that he needed time to continue to heal before he would wake up. Elissa knew from the look in Anders' eyes, however, that his body could give up on him anyway if he took too long to awaken. She refused to leave his side in case he woke up or, Maker forbid... No. He _would_ wake up. He had to.

She leaned forward and stroked his uninjured cheek as she talked softly to him. "When you wake up, we'll get away from this Maker-forsaken city. We can go back to the keep, pack our traveling gear, and get away for a while. Maybe I can take you to Soldier's Peak. You can meet Levi Dryden and his family and we can all have dinner together, talk about how good it is to _not_ be considered nobility." She traced his jaw and brows while she spoke. "We can go hunting – I know you enjoy that." Her voice was cracking, so she closed her eyes and cleared her throat. Once she felt like she had better control of herself, she opened her eyes and continued. "It'll be nice to be able to enjoy being outdoors for a change, don't you think? Maybe we can go swimming if we go to a lake." She smoothed his blankets, then picked up his hand and held it between hers. "Just … wake up soon. I miss you." She lifted his hand to her face, pressing his warm skin upon her lips. She held his hand there for a while before gently lowering his hand and tucking it into the blanket to keep it warm.

She heard a cough behind her, and so turned her head to see who was there. It was Fergus. He stepped into the room and sat down on the chair closest to the side of the bed that she was sitting on. She only spared a glance for her brother, preferring to watch Nathaniel's breathing and letting the slight motion of his chest reassure her that things would be all right.

Fergus stayed silent and Elissa watched Nathaniel breathing. It took several minutes of uncomfortable silence before Elissa heard Fergus clear his throat again and begin speaking.

"I think tomorrow will the the last day of the Landsmeet. Some of the nobles have asked whether you would be attending."

Elissa answered the question that Fergus didn't ask. "I don't think I'll be there. I need to be here if... _when_ he wakes up. Has there been a problem with Eric and Erlina representing the Wardens?"

"No, not at all." She heard a rustling from the direction of Fergus' chair. "They're doing better than some of the established nobles." Elissa nodded to show she understood. There was a pause, then Fergus spoke again. "How long have you been training them?"

Elissa counted back. "Two, maybe three months? Of course, Erlina was already well-versed in politics." She shrugged. "In the event that Nathaniel and I needed to leave the Ferelden Wardens, we wanted the others to be able to take over immediately." They both fell silent again and Elissa, for her part, was feeling distinctly awkward about Fergus being in the room with her.

"You can say something, if you'd like." Fergus' voice was tired.

Elissa did look up at this statement. She met Fergus' eyes. "I … don't know what to say," she admitted. "Our last few meetings haven't gone well." _Understatement of the year_. "I don't even know how to address you."

"I'm sure a few choice terms come to mind," he responded, his voice dry as he shook his head. Elissa tried to smile in response, but she was sure what came to her face could only be described as a grimace. "Listen," his voice and expression were unsure now, "I know you've been through a lot. We all have. Seeing you at the Landsmeet, both of you ..." He sighed and turned his head, tapping the armrest of his chair with nervous fingers, "I see that you are important to each other. And then, watching Nathaniel save my life again and then protect you, risking his life like that, well..." He turned his head to look Elissa in the eye. "I can't promise anything. I'm not anywhere near a place where I can forgive what his father did. I need _time_ to work out how I feel about all this." His voice had taken on a pleading tone and his fingers were still tapping their jerky rhythm. "I mean, you're my _sister._ I'm really worried that you're making an enormous mistake here."

Elissa slowly nodded. "I understand. But if it is a mistake, it's mine to make." She shrugged again. "I'm not forcing you to make any choices, you know that." She waited for him to acknowledge her with a nod before continuing. "This relationship I have with Nathaniel is something I need. I hope that you can at least respect that once you have decided how you feel about everything." She fell silent and waited for him to react.

He looked thoughtful when she finished speaking and took some time to ponder what she had said. When he was finished thinking, he stood and handed her a scroll. "This is for Nathaniel when he wakes up. You can look at it if he ..." his voice trailed off then as he looked at her face. "I'm sorry. That was insensitive. Get some sleep. You look like you haven't slept in the past two days." He hesitated, then put an unsure hand on her shoulder. "I'll try, Elissa. It's the best I can do."

Elissa covered Fergus' hand with hers and managed a small smile. "It's enough," she said simply, then let her hand fall away as Fergus quietly left the room. She looked at the scroll that was now sitting in her lap and debated a moment before setting it aside. _Nathaniel can read it himself when he wakes._

Since she _hadn't_ slept the previous two days, she decided to lie down and at least try to follow Fergus' advice. She settled herself on the bed and carefully arranged herself so that she could see Nathaniel breathing. She watched him for a little bit longer as she fell asleep.

-0-0-0-

A groan invaded her ears, causing her eyes to open. She looked to the sound to find its source, only to realize that it was Nathaniel groaning. Immediately awake, she sat up and turned to face him just as his eyes fluttered open.

He looked at her with surprise and horror in his eyes. "Where are we? The fall..." He closed his eyes and swallowed heavily, then opened his eyes again. "Am I alive?"

Elissa could no more have stopped the smile on her face than she could have stopped the sun from setting. "You're alive." She greeted him back to the world of the living with a careful embrace and an enthusiastic kiss. Once she was satisfied that he was well enough to reciprocate, she squeezed him gently. "We're in the palace in one of the guest bedrooms. You've been unconscious for two days. I'll call for some food." She helped him carefully sit up against the bed cushions and then rang for a servant.

When she turned back toward the bed, Nathaniel had the scroll in his hand and was looking at it curiously. "From Fergus?" he asked, indicating the seal upon it. Elissa nodded, and he broke the seal and unrolled the vellum. He looked confused as he read it before handing it to Elissa. "Has he changed his mind about us?" he asked.

"No, but he's willing to think about it and try now," she replied. "Why, what does it say?" She read the scroll.

Fergus had reinstated the ownership of the Amaranthine property to Delilah's son.


	38. This is Home

Nathaniel was well enough to travel after a few days' recovery, so they agreed to leave the next morning and make their way to Vigil's Keep. Alistair had been kind enough to provide them with a cart and a pair of sturdy oxen to tow their belongings back home, which was fortuitous considering the sheer volume of get-well gifts that Elissa, Anders and Nathaniel had received. Erna had also been enjoying her newfound purchasing power and bought out half of the marketplace, so the cart was loaded to capacity even with most of the Wardens carrying their own packs and supplies.

The knock on the door came earlier than Elissa expected. Fastening the last buckle on her armor and making sure that Nathaniel was similarly covered, she called out for the person to enter. The door opened and Zevran stepped in.

"Are you ready, my dear? The other Wardens have arrived." Zevran looked Elissa and Nathaniel over before a wicked, lazy smile crept onto his face. "Unless you would prefer a last distraction before we leave." Nathaniel snorted behind her and she shared a grin with Zevran.

"Maybe some other time," Elissa laughed. Then, the uncontrollable impulse to _hug_ Zevran came over her and she found herself across the room and her arms around her assassin friend, much to everyone's surprise. After a moment, she stepped back and gave the elf back his personal space.

He raised an eyebrow at her even as he smiled. "What was that about, Elissa? I am not complaining, mind you ..."

Elissa wasn't quite sure how to answer that, other than, "Thank you, Zev. For _everything_. If it hadn't been for you and Erlina with all of this, things might have dragged out for years and then ended badly."

Zevran laughed. "Ah, my dear, there is no need. It is good that I have had the chance to practice skills that go along quite well with assassinating, no? And besides, I wish to protect my home as much as the next person." He smiled at her again, this time his eyes speaking volumes. "It will be good to go home and know that we can perhaps have peace for a change."

At the word _home_, Elissa couldn't help but smile widely. "Yes, it will. Zev, can you let the others know we'll be right there? We have a little bit of packing left, but it'll be just a minute." Zevran nodded and exited the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Elissa turned to see Nathaniel watching her intently. The look on his face was curious, but not wary. He more looked like he was contemplating something and coming to a decision.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly as she walked over to him and took his hands in hers.

His face cleared as he looked down into her eyes. "I was just considering the past several weeks," he said quietly and he lifted a hand to stroke her cheek. "Things worked out far better than I expected." He leaned forward and kissed her softly before straightening. "Let's go."

-0-0-0-

_To the Warden-Commander of Ferelden:_

_Greetings from the Circle of Magi. After much discussion, Knight-Commander Greagoir and I have decided to send you two potential recruits in hopes that you might find them suitable for your order. The first, Arthur Amell, has recently passed his harrowing and shows brilliant mastery of the prime elements. We discussed him when you last visited the Circle, as you may recall, and his test to transition to full mage was one of the quickest we have seen to date, surpassed only in ease by his older sister and Warden Anders. The young woman with him has been trained as a templar, but has not taken her final vows. Selena volunteered to accompany young Amell and also wishes to become a Grey Warden. We have already communicated with the Grand Cleric, who has agreed to release her to your ranks. She is independently-minded, which you made clear to me as preferential, and we believe she will do well with your order. If such should not be the case with either recruit, please do not hesitate to inform us and we will make arrangements for their safe passage back to the tower._

_Also, I wanted to share some good news with you. Our mage Eleanor has birthed her child, a girl, and both mother and daughter came through the birthing splendidly. The babe has been taken in by the Chantry in Redcliffe, where Knight-Commander Greagoir frequently visits to look for Circle recruits. Eleanor wanted to express her gratitude to you for your assistance when she was out performing Circle-related duties. Greagoir and I share in her gratitude as well; thank you, friend. May the Maker watch over you and your men as you continue to ensure Ferelden's national security._

_Sincerely, _

_First Enchanter Irving,_

_Circle of Magi in Ferelden_

-0-0-0-

_Elissa,_

_I'm glad to hear you made it safely back to Vigil's Keep, although to be fair I wasn't terribly concerned in the first place. After all, you make slaughtering thirty bandits at a time look easy. Still, it is good to know that you are safely home._

_I have some good news – thanks to your friends' hard work, we believe we have identified and arrested the rest of Vaughan's conspirators. The group was small, thankfully, and we will be holding a trial on counts of treason and attempted murder for them shortly. With the evidence we have collected, I believe that we will have no problem settling the worst of the political upheaval that was left over from the civil war. _

_With the way that you continue to handle yourself in difficult circumstances, you have continued to impress the general populace. In particular, several members of my guard expressed an interest in joining the ranks of the Grey Wardens. I have sent my four best guards in the hopes that you feel these men would be suitable to join the order. If they are not quite Grey Warden material, perhaps your man Alec can use them as his knights. I understand that he is also recruiting good men. At any rate, feel free to place these men wherever you feel they would work best. They are at your disposal._

_Lastly, I know it has only been a few weeks since I have seen you last, but I have exciting news! It seems hard to believe, but we just found out that Alfstanna is already expecting our first child. I plan to announce the news to the nobles soon, but I wanted to let you know first since we both are grateful to you for everything you have done to ensure our safety and happiness. When the child is born, both of us would be thrilled if you agreed to be its godmother. _

_I know that you don't get to Denerim often, but we look forward to seeing you when you think you can drag yourself away from running Amaranthine. Take care, Elissa, and may the Maker bless you._

_Sincerely,_

_Alistair_

-0-0-0-

_Warden-Commander:_

_I wish to thank you for the warning your elven friend sent me regarding my business. As you well know, in my line of work it is important to keep my reputation impeccable and to deliver as well as I promise. Your warning regarding the imposters selling inferior product and trying to pass it off as mine helped me to deal with my competition so that I believe we will have no future issues. _

_I also wanted to inform you that my men encountered some stray pests in the region. We have eliminated these and so the region should now be vermin-free. Since you have performed a great service to us to ensure our continued spotless reputation, we offer this pest control in return for your service to us. We will continue to monitor the area to ensure that the pests do not return. Thank you again, Warden._

_Sincerely,_

_Ignacio_

-0-0-0-

Elissa cracked an eye open to see that light was filtering into the room through the window, as she had suspected. She groaned and closed her eyes, only to find herself dragged backward into a hard chest and a firm hand placed on her abdomen to keep her in place.

"Morning," she mumbled as she tried to ignore the press of Nathaniel's hips against her behind. She tried not to smile as she felt him nuzzle behind her ear and failed spectacularly. She heard him chuckle softly as she felt him switch from nuzzling to kissing, making her sigh in contentment.

"How are you this morning, love?" His voice was low and teasing. "You can't tell me you're tired after last night?" His hand started to caress her abdomen, then her hip, before moving upward and settling on her breast to play there. "We must have gotten an entire hour of sleep just now."

Elissa laughed quietly. "That much? We must have been tired." She smiled and examined the ring on her left hand. It was just as gorgeous in the morning light as it had been the previous evening, when he had given it to her. She rolled over to face him and put her hand on his waist as she leaned forward to kiss him, briefly silencing both of them except for the sound of approval she heard deep in his throat. She tilted her head back to watch his face as he lifted her hand, only to place a kiss on her palm and then on the finger wearing the new ring.

"Soon, I get to officially keep you." His smile, so warm and relaxed, made his entire face light up and caused her to smile right back at him. "Will I get to call you Mrs. Howe?"

This brought another laugh from Elissa. "You can if you wish, although don't I have enough titles already?" Elissa grinned as Nathaniel rolled his eyes. "That reminds me – when we were at Bann Ferrenly's party and he was listing off all those silly titles, what did Anders say that caused you to kick him under the table?"

It was Nathaniel's turn to laugh now. "Anders was muttering that Bann Ferrenly had forgotten to mention that you were the 'Champion of Redcliffe' too, and then he said something about how Irving and Greagoir forgot to give you a title." Elissa rolled her eyes, then, and Nathaniel chuckled at her reaction.

"I think I owe you a boon, good ser, for service beyond the call of duty." She smiled as Nathaniel's eyes turned calculating and his mouth formed a wicked smile. He rolled so that he had her pinned to the bed and cradled her head between his hands.

"A boon, you say? Can I collect now?" He didn't wait for an answer, preferring instead to capture her lips with his and make her forget her name, her duties, and everything else that didn't matter at the time. He claimed her, body and soul, and made everything and everyone else in the world go away, save for one solitary thought.

_This is home._

FIN

-0-0-0-

A/N: _I was actually kind of sad to finish this piece. I had a lot of fun writing it and you helped keep it fun with your reactions. Thank you, everyone, for reading and reviewing and lurking and generally encouraging me to keep writing! You folks totally, completely, utterly rock and without you, this would be a MUCH harder process. You guys kick some serious ass!_

_I have a request, if you will: On my profile here on , I have a poll. I have a few ideas for what I want to write next as a multi-chapter fic, and if you have any particular preference from the ideas I have posted there, please feel free to vote so I have some idea what you all would like to see. Alternately, for those of you who leave reviews, I'd be happy to see your thoughts there! _

_To recap, the basic story subjects are: a) Fergus' process of grieving over his lost family and dealing with Elissa and Nathaniel's relationship, b) Ragnar and Erna, going through their process of learning how to live outside of Dust Town and on the surface, c) a new recruit for the Wardens and having him/her adjust to this crazy group, d) one of the characters already present in this universe who I haven't dwelt on prior to this (Oghren, Anders, etc), or e) something completely not-this-universe, if you're tired about reading Choices stuff. _

_I will likely come back to visit with Nathaniel again in the future, just because I enjoy his character more than is probably healthy, but right now I've written a LOT of him and need to take a different perspective for a bit. _

_Thank you, one and all, for all of your kind words and reviews and for generally sticking out this story, which is the longest I've ever written. You make it fun for me to keep going!_


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